Everything Else

Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Team Previews: The Bleu, Blanc, And Suck

By 1993

Most of my thoughts on the Montreal Canadiens are contained here. But I won’t miss a chance to shit on them twice. Or hundreds. Whatever it takes. While they might not be poorly coached anymore (though I’m less convinced of Claude Julien’s genius than others), they’re still poorly run, poorly watched, and the kvetching that goes on about them takes up far too much space in our lives. And I don’t think this season is going to be any more pleasant for anyone, although you have to feel sorry for them because this summer they didn’t have an obscenely talented and charismatic player who just happened to be a minority to toss overboard. How could they possibly function?

MONTREAL CANADIENS

’16-’17 Record: 47-26-9  103 points   1st in Flortheast (bounced in 1st round by the Rangers)

Team Stats: 52.4 CF% (3rd)  51.6 SF% (5th)  52.4 SCF% (5th)  7.5 SH% (18th) SV% .932 (4th)  19.7 PP% (13th)  81.1 PK% (14th)

Everything Else

The Montreal Canadiens Are A Fraud

By 2258

This isn’t some post to blast the Montreal Canadiens for telling Andrei Markov to shove off back to Russia today. Markov is yet another player who was massively overrated simply because he played in Montreal. Andrei Markov is fine. If he was on your second pairing, you could probably get away with it. The only reason the Habs got away with him on their top pairing for so long is because Carey Price was behind him, and for a lot of years PK Subban next to him.

No, it’s not that. What it is is to poke holes in what the Canadiens are and what they think they are. The Canadiens would like you to believe they are the NHL’s Steelers, or Cowboys, or Packers, or Celtics, or Lakers, or Yankees. This is in fact, utter horseshit.

Everything Else

The Hawks Against Good Teams: A Study

By 1441

You can start to feel a lift among the fanbase these days. One that never really came last year, as the Hawks’ flaws were so easy to see and so glaring that a first round exit seemed pretty inevitable, even if a Game 7 loss to the Blues still stung. There are no such concerns these days, as the Hawks remain one of the hottest teams in the league for over a month now and have rocketed to the top of the division and conference. Elsewhere, you can feel the growing sense of dread from the rest of the hockey world, as the familiar face no one really wanted to see looks like it’ll be there when it matters most again (some would call this the “Roman Reigns Phenomena”)

In that sense, it’s been a weird week for the Hawks. Consecutively, they’ve beaten 5th, 8th, and 9th overall in the standings in terms of points and all three teams were either in first at the time or right there for it in their division. And yet, at least in terms of possession, they’ve gotten clocked in all three games. Has this been a long-standing problem and is it indicative of what might happen when all the lights come on in a month’s time or so.

Hey, we can research this! Bless!

Everything Else

I’ll Tell Ya Another Thing About Canada, The Beer Sucks: Hawks at Canadiens Preview/Glass Blowing

By 1729

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 43-20-5   Canadiens 39-22-8

PUCK DROP: 6:30 Central

TV: CSN, NBCSN

JEAN-JACQUES SMYTHES: Habs Eyes On The Prize

PROJECTED LINEUPS

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Hawks – 50.9 (11th)  Habs – 52.4 (4th)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Hawks – 48.7 (19th)  Habs – 52.8 (5th)

POWER PLAY %: Hawks – 18.8 (17th)  Habs – 20.3 (12th)

PENALTY KILL %: Hawks – 77.7 (27th)  Habs – 80.5 (17th)

The Hawks begin an Eastern Canadian road trip, touring the northern members of the Atlantic division all in a row. It starts with invading the constant carnival that is the Montreal Canadiens. And now this carnival comes with a full compliment of carny folk and a freak show. Because that’s how they want it up there.

Everything Else

Habs Q&A With Mega-Nerd Andrew Berkshire

By 1547

You can catch Andrew’s work just about everywhere, but mostly at Sportsnet.ca and RDS.ca. Follow him on Twitter @AndrewBerkshire.

Ok, explain why the Habs think they need every asshat they can find and why it will or won’t work when things matter?

Bergevin has it in his mind that the number one reason why the Habs collapsed last season was that they were “easy to play against”. That was probably because they let in a goal every 5 shots scored on one of every 20 for like 3 months, then everyone got injured, but the team took it to mean GRIT and other crap. This same thing happened after the 2013 playoffs when the Habs throttled the Senators by every metric but Anderson stood on his head and Price was playing with a torn groin, so they lost in 5 and Bergevin brought in Douglas Murray and George Parros in the offseason. He’s a conservative GM for the most part, but he’s also extremely reactionary and seemingly mediocre at diagnosing weaknesses. 

Everything Else

Andrew Shaw Really Cares, Guys

By 1822

There were more than a few Hawks fans having a a good hearty laugh when coming home from the game last night when they saw Andrew Shaw having yet another meltdown. This time it was in Anaheim, getting himself tossed late in a game the Habs trailed by one goal and could have, oh I don’t know, used a guy with a knack for getting goals from in close.

Of course, now it’s just an figure of fun for pretty much the entire hockey world, though I guaranteed on Hockey Night In Canada’s pregame show on Saturday that Kypreos and Hrudey will use this as an example of true passion and to indict Max Pacioretty as a leader or something (though maybe that’s not totally inaccurate but let’s get to that in a second).

Quite simply, this is what happens when you tell Andrew Shaw, who probably couldn’t spell “NHL,” he’s being rewarded for all the wrong things. What made Andrew Shaw a success here in Chicago weren’t all the yelling faces or the punching people after the whistle or the dirty hits. What made him successful is he never stopped moving his feet, was willing to go to the front of the net (though he really wasn’t all that skilled at it no matter what everyone around here will tell you) and he has better hands than a third liner usually does. It wasn’t Shaw’s attitude or yap that drew a lot of penalties. It was that he just never stopped and would cause turnovers or keep possessions going and eventually put a defender in a bad spot. There really weren’t a lot of retalitory penalties where Shaw wasn’t canceling out with his own roughing call.

However, when you tell him that it’s his passion and fire and yelling that got him four million dollars a year, this is what you get.

Everything Else

Story Is The Same One Told Many Times: Habs at Hawks Preview/Foursquare Competition

By 1440


arcadefire2013vs. Hawk Wrestler

RECORDS: Canadiens 13-1-1  Hawks 10-3-2

PUCK DROP: A great 6pm start

TV: WGN, Sportsnet up ‘dere

STUCK AT SCHWARTZ’S: Habs Eyes On The Prize

Projected Lineups

canadiens-lineup-card

blackhawks-lineup-card

SCORE-ADJUSTED CF%: Canadiens – 50.4% (10th)  Hawks – 49.9% (13th)

POWER PLAY: Canadiens – 21.7% (8th)  Hawks – 19.7% (12th)

PENALTY KILL: Canadiens – 80.6% (18th)  Hawks – Almost suck!

TRENDS: In a previous life, Radulov had 11 points in 16 career games against the Hawks… Danault has three goals and four points in his last four games

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The Canadiens get out to an incredibly hot start, with passable but nothing more underlying numbers and Carey Price once again proving he’s head and shoulders the best goalie in the world. Their fans and media are getting awfully yappy at those who laughed at their moron coach and GM over the summer, and they’re already planning the parade. Does this sound familiar?

You bet your ass it does.

Everything Else

Poodle Bites! C’mon Frenchie!: Habs Q&A With Laura The Active Stick

By 1272

Sadly the Canadiens only visit once a season, so we don’t get to talk to our good friend Laura The Active Stick as much as we’d like (@TheActiveStick). But hey, she’s been out drinking with me and lived to tell the tale. More than Fifth Feather and his wrist can say. Let’s see what she has to tell us about the Bleu, Blanc, et Rouge.

Here we go again. The Habs are on top of the East to start, their underlying numbers are just north of ok, and everyone’s losing their mud. Other than Price staying healthy, why is this team different from last year’s?

I’m cautiously optimistic. The Canadiens are giving up a lot of shots and struggling with getting out of their own zone. The good news is that I think it’s a strategy issue more than a personnel issue. They need to work on that. The other good news is that Carey Price is their goaltender. Nobody wins a Stanley Cup by themselves, but if one player can, it’s Carey Price. 

Everything Else

Culture Club

By 1499

There is a part of me that wants to turn this into a Canadiens blog for next season because their implosion is going to be utterly hilarious to witness and I’m probably going to want to laugh at it every single day. I won’t do that, but I will take the chance to chew up and spit out the latest piece of drivel that GM Marc Bergevin had spill out of that orifice in the front of his face. It was simply more ass covering. Let’s get the quote in full, just to admire how deep in his own excrement he’s actually launched himself:

“Two Stanley Cups in five years. I like guys who don’t like to lose. Everybody likes to win, everybody’s happy when you win. I want guys, when you lose, it gets them inside. It hurts. And then you go back to work the next day.

 I don’t want a guy who walks out of the rink thinking, “Everything is cute, everything is fine even though we lost the game, life goes on.” Yeah, life goes on, but I want guys who feel hurt by a loss. It’s the culture that I want. It’s the Chicago culture, that’s what I want.

Andrew Shaw has it. I was in Chicago long enough to know they don’t take losing with a grain of salt. I want guys who don’t like to lose.”

That’s nice. It’s also utter bullshit.

Everything Else

I’m From Canada And They Think I’m Slow, Eh?

By 1676

I guess now we know who Gordie’s parents were, huh?

I don’t have the adjectives or the prose ability to be able to accurately describe what has transpired in the NHL this afternoon. But I’ll take a shot and when it’s over, to quote perhaps my favorite movie villain of all time, “Don’t think that I didn’t try.” But I think today’s trades are a perfect example of just how back’ards most of the league operates and what still matters to far too many teams (wrongly). Again, try and keep in mind that the last two Cups have been won by teams loaded with skill and speed, who beat teams built similarly. And the team that won the Cups when the ones that were loaded with skill and speed still had the puck all the time. This is important.

Ok, so let’s start with Taylor Hall for Adam Larsson. By the way, having simply written that four points fell off my IQ.