Everything Else Hockey

Happy Trails Mutt, Get Lost Pierre – Andrew Shaw Mercifully Retires, NBC Withdraws From Negotiations

By Matt McClure April 26, 2021

In a move that should surprise no one, Andrew Shaw called it a career at the age of 29 earlier this morning, in a move that sadly is probably a couple years overdue. After having suffeded his third major concussion in 4 years, the message of doctors finally sunk into that thick cocker spaniel skull […]

Hockey

Atop The Sugar Pile – 12/9: Get To The Working Overtime Part

By Sam Fels December 9, 2019 0

Three overtime games this week as the Hawks ended up with five of six points that somehow doesn’t feel as good as it should? Anyway, who did what this week? The Dizzying Highs Top Cat – Scored in all three games this past week, so it makes him a pretty easy choice. And two of them […]

Hockey

Game #28 – Hawks vs. Bruins Preview: I’d Like To Fly But My Wings Have Been So Denied

By Sam Fels December 5, 2019 0

vs. RECORDS: Hawks 10-12-5   Bruins 20-3-5 PUCK DROP: 6pm TV: NBCSN Chicago FRUSTRATED WOMEN: Stanley Cup Of Chowder So you’ve just been fustigated by the West’s leader at home. What’s the best follow-up to that? Why, one of the East’s best on the road of course! Where they haven’t actually lost a game all year! […]

Hockey

Game #22 – Lightning vs. Hawks Preview: First World Problems

By Sam Fels November 21, 2019 0

vs. RECORDS: Lightning 9-7-2   Hawks 9-8-4 PUCK DROP: 7:30 TV: NBCSN Chicago THE GUYS WHO DON’T LOOK LIKE XQUISITE: Raw Charge It may sound strange to say the Hawks have more points than the Lightning, but that’s the case as the two ’15 Finalists get together again on West Madison. But of course, as we […]

Hockey

Game #20 – See Now All My Flavors Are Guaranteed to Satisfy – Sabres 1, Hawks 4

By John Pullega November 17, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Evolving Hockey The Hawks continue to ride the shooting percentage snake. Tonight was also about as well rounded a game as they’ve played. Let’s clean it up to put a nice feather in a good weekend’s cap. – Kirby Dach, you are our huckleberry. Dach’s been aces over the last […]

Hockey

Game #16 – Hawks vs. Penguins Spotlight: Missing Our Tasty Burger

By Sam Fels November 9, 2019 0

Let’s get it out at the top, we don’t miss Eddie Olczyk’s insistence on calling Dominik Kahun “The Big Kahun-a.” Somehow, no one ever bothered to explain to Eddie, or he just never bothered to listen, that “The Big Kahun” would suffice easily. We’ll get the joke. Really, we will. It made it sound like […]

Hockey

Game #14 – You’re So Very Ordinary, You’re So Very Lame. Tastes Like Whiskey On Your Lips And Earthworms Rule Your Brain – Hawks 2, Sharks 4

By John Pullega November 6, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Corsica When you pine for Marc Crawford to release you from the genital vise that is Blackhawks hockey, it’s safe to say the goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain. Fire everyone. – Going into this game, the Sharks were the worst team in the West. They had lost five […]

Hockey

Atop The Sugar Pile 11/4 – How Are Things On The West Coast?

By Sam Fels November 4, 2019 0

The Dizzying Highs Robin Lehner – This might be a touch weird to put a goalie who merely went 1-1 over the week here, and even the good “1” was an OT win against an unimpressive Ducks squad. But Lehner stopped 84 of 89 shots he saw in two games…let’s let that marinate for a moment…and […]

Hockey

Dear Jeremy Colliton, You Haven’t Earned The Right To Bus Toss Your Players

By Sam Fels October 25, 2019 0

Dear Jeremy Colliton, We don’t know each other. Likely won’t. That’s cool. Anyway, I was at the game last night. Surely wasn’t inspirational. Truly impotent, in fact. I came home to find you bus-tossing your players in the press. Interesting move. We’ll get to why in a sec. I want to be fair to you, […]

Hockey

Wheel It Out Here, Carnac

By Sam Fels October 2, 2019 0

We used to do this every year, so we’ll get back to it. Your FFUD Hawks staff predicts what will happen in the upcoming season.  Big One First – Predicted Points and standings for the Hawks McClure: 92 Points, 2nd wild card in the west Pullega: 88 points, 9th in Conference (just outside wild card) […]