Hockey

Atop the Sugar Pile: Melting Edition

By Summer Corson January 17, 2022

It’s been a hot minute since this fair website did one of these, and for a while this season the team hasn’t looked that horrible in 12 years. Although we’ve seen some improvement over the past 25-ish games with Derek King at the helm, the Hawks are still fraught with issues that will take quite […]

Hockey

Clinging Onto Life by the Skin O My Teeth – Hawks Win 2 of 3

By Summer Corson December 6, 2021

The Hawks surprisingly continue to not suck, eking out wins under Derek King and his amusing, incredibly human personality. After adapting to King’s style of defense, the team has seemed calmer, more in sync and surer of themselves. And considering how horrifically this season started (in more ways than one), I’ll take it at this […]

Hockey

Gettin’ Pretty Good at Barely Gettin’ By – Hawks Lose 2 of 3, Late Night Edition

By Summer Corson November 30, 2021

The new-coach glisten has begun to dull a bit as the Hawks won only one game this past week. Though the Hawks still seem to be a bit less lost than when Coach Cool Youth Pastor was at the helm, the Sharks game was tedious at best and the Flames game was not pretty. Though […]

Hockey

Out on a Midnight Run – Seattle, Edmonton, Vancouver Preview

By Summer Corson November 17, 2021

We’ve got some late games coming up as the Hawks are heading out on a west coast road trip this week. And perhaps thanks to the sugar rush that comes after a coaching change, the Hawks find themselves having won their last three games and looking ahead to some surprisingly gettable opponents (except Edmonton of […]

Hockey

Of Everything That Stands, The End – Colliton Gets Fired and the Hawks Win Two

By Summer Corson November 8, 2021

Since we last wrote, the Reckoning finally happened, and the Hawks won their first two games of the season. As we are all aware of now, Jeremy Colliton finally got ousted as Blackhawks head coach, and hopefully his galaxy-brained “Systems” are gone with him. After a 5-1 win against the paltry Senators, the Hawks went […]

Hockey

It’s Just as Bad As You Think – Hawks Get Steamrolled Their First Three Games

By Summer Corson October 18, 2021

Once again, this publication was right in our analysis. The Blackhawks played like dogshit to start this season off, and if it were up to any of us the coach would’ve been fired two days ago. Perhaps you were at least trying to hope that the Hawks would be somewhat watchable coming out of the […]

Baseball

What Did You Expect? – Cubs Swept by Cardinals 4-0

By Summer Corson September 28, 2021

Not only did this Cubs team get crushed in a four-game series against the Cardinals, a hated rival, but the Cardinals won their franchise-record 16th game in a row while doing it and all but officially ending the NL wild card race, as now the closest teams behind them for the second spot are 5.5-6 […]

Everything Else

Nothing Matters Anymore – Cubs Swept by Twins 2-0

By Summer Corson September 23, 2021

I think the craziest thing about the borderline-traumatic deadline selloff this year is that despite fielding what is essentially a glorified AAA team with maybe a future piece or two, the Cubs still find ways to completely drop the ball offensively against other AAA-level teams around the league like the Minnesota Twins. The baseball that […]

Everything Else

Jesus It Never Ends, It Works Its Way Inside – Brewers Beat Cubs

By Summer Corson September 19, 2021

As a Cubs fan, you hate the Brewers, and always will. Which means this series sucked, because you singlehandedly gave the Brewers and a stadium filled with tens of thousands of fans a guaranteed playoff spot (likely soon to turn into division title) while your team is destined to be mired in mediocrity for the […]

Baseball

Let Mercy Come and Wash Away What I’ve Done – Cubs Lose to Phillies 1-2

By Summer Corson September 17, 2021

This series started on a surprisingly positive note and then ended with a disgraceful excuse of a baseball game for the Cubs. The Phillies continue grasping blindly at a final wild card spot despite being 2.5 games back thanks to the shellacking they brought upon us, whereas Cubs fans are now wondering if Kyle Hendricks […]