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Sit Back, Relax, And Strap It Down – ’17-’18 Blackhawks Player Previews: Anton Forsberg

By 2136

Career Stats

10 GP – 9W-1L-0OT

.879S% – 4.02GAA

.881EV – .857PP –.875SH

27.3 SA/G

I know I’m still asking myself how I got here, but this isn’t about me; it’s about our presumptive backup goalie, Anton Forsberg. He may be asking himself that same question, but since he’s been bouncing around the greater Midwest in various AHL uniforms it kind of makes sense that eventually he’d end up here. By all indications he’s Crow’s backup, although it seems the Hawks have signed a guy who hasn’t actually proven he can play reliably at the NHL level.

Everything Else

Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Team Previews: That Old Dirty Water Is A Pretty Good Metaphor For This Lot

By 1900

With Labor Day behind us and something of a crispness in the air, and the incompetence of the Bears about to be on display, it’s time to look forward to what will go on inside the heavily sponsored walls of various arenas around the continent. We’ll go team by team over the next month, so let’s kick this pig…

Boston Bruins

2016-2017: 44-31-7  95 Points   3rd in the Atlantic   Lost in 1st Round (Ottawa 4-2)

Team Stats: 54.3 CF%  55.2 SF%   55.7 SCF%  6.6 SH%  91.3 SV%  21.7 PP%  85.7 PK%

It only seems like 16 years ago or so that the Boston Bruins were an Eastern power, racking up a Cup and another Final appearance. But it all decomposed so quickly, much like Zdeno Chara’s mobility. Hey, think those things might be linked? Toss is some hilariously bad roster and cap managing, with a focus on just about all of the wrong things, and you get a tired, old roster with not enough kids that are going to be able to make up for it. This Bruins teams looks like it’ll happen in a vacuum, as they’ll play the 82 games their allotted and you won’t remember any of them.

Everything Else

Sit Back, Relax, And Strap It Down – ’17-’18 Blackhawks Player Previews – Corey Crawford

By 2565

Now that it’s after Labor Day, it’s time to put away the whites and get mentally prepared for yet another six month slog that will be an NHL regular season. To help with that, starting today  and continuing throughout the month, we will be previewing a player off the Hawks’ 17-18 roster as well as a team elsewhere in the league. During this time it will also give everyone a chance to meet some new contributors to the Faxes From Uncle Dale Cinematic Universe. We hope you enjoy. 

Even though seemingly no one wants to hear it, in part due to the faulty notion that the Blackhawks have obviated the goalie position with their success over this era, as well as the fact that there may be no incongruously unappreciated athlete in all of professional sports at the moment, this series will kick off with arguably the most important Hawk on the ice on a nightly basis- Corey Crawford.

Everything Else

Friday Foofaraw: Our Award-Winning, World Famous Bears Roundtable

By 1329

It’s almost that time again, when our Sunday afternoons are turned over to the abyss of watching Bears football. Oh you can pretend you’re above it and you do something else. But this is Chicago, we know the truth. You cannot escape. The abyss also gazes into you . So we get together every fall and preview the Bears season in a way only those who don’t take it seriously and know how pointless it all is can. Enjoy. 

So when training camp started we were wondering why we were even bothering. But after a few weeks, at least the front seven looks decent, there’s a couple fun running backs, and we have QB drama. If you do watch this season, why will you be tuning in?

McClure: Outside of my usual schadenfraude where I like to be acutely aware of just exactly why this entire city is pissed off and emasculated every Monday, there will be another layer of that with waiting to see just how bad Mike Glennon can manage to be while still keeping his job. Obviously once TRUBINSKY gets the starting job that will certainly gain my attention as well.

Cieslak: I still think there’s something in the defense if everyone stays 100% healthy but since that can’t and won’t happen they’ll struggle. Especially in the secondary, which looks awful on paper. I’ll be tuning into Red Zone and keeping one eye on the Bears doings, for the most part. It would be too much masochism for anyone to spend 3+ hours watching only the Bears this season. 

Feather: Because BEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRR WEATHER. The opening week of NFL is always very exciting; every team is filled with optimism, the majority of the games are competitive and big time players make big time plays. Then a week later, everyone is hurt or dead, the Patriots are the only good team and life is meaningless. So yes, I will be tuning in to watch the Beloved for your aforementioned reasons. Their running backs will help them move the ball. Their defense seems to be building towards something, their offensive line is light years better than it was just a couple seasons ago. All of this should make them watchable until Floyd has a knee, Long has an elbow, Whitehair (BYCRACKY) has a head and Howard loses a limb.

Fels: Because I really don’t have much else to do, at least I won’t whenever the Cubs are done. In reality, I like how the front seven is shaping up though I don’t know that any of Goldman, Bullard, Floyd, whoever are going to end up stars or anything more than really good role players. All the running backs will be paste by November. Once Trubisky takes over, that’ll pretty much be the only reason to watch. Also to see how badly they can blow a coverage in the last minute against Rodgers this time. 

Everything Else

What If…The Hawks Had Traded For Eric Lindros?

By 2079

We were asked to come and save the day for Puck Daddy’s Summer Series, “What if?” This is what we came up with. Enjoy

There are times when we don’t truly appreciate just how much the Eric Lindros saga shaped a good portion of the NHL. These days we look back on it and kind of just think of it as more hockey silliness, as the NHL is the only league where a team could somehow agree to trade one player to two teams and then have an arbitrator take nearly two weeks to figure out just what the hell happened. And yes, 25 years later it still sounds ridiculous.

But let’s consider what this was: what if Connor McDavid had pulled an Eli Manning and told the Oilers he wouldn’t play there before they even took him, which we all assumed he was going to do after THAT expression on lottery night decided his fate, and the Oilers took him anyway? And what if McDavid made good on his threat and never left Erie? And then the Oilers were forced to trade his rights the next year at the draft, setting off perhaps the greatest auction in NHL history?

Because that’s what Lindros was. He was the NEXT. He was Earl Campbell on skates. I saw him before the ’91 Canada Cup shrug off a hit from Chris Chelios in a warm-up game between Canada and the US. Chelios charged about half the width of the rink to get him, and Lindros brushed him off like his nose itched. Chelios went flying, and Lindros barely deviated from his path. He would go on to be one of the more dominating players in the league, and he was open for bidding! Has that happened since? Basically only when Jaromir Jagr bitched his way out of Pittsburgh as the league’s best player been on the trade block.

While the actual controversy took place between the Rangers and Flyers, most in the know had it that during the draft of ’92 Mike Keenan had engineered a deal before either of them that the Nordiques has accepted to send Lindros to the Blackhawks. Getting exact details on it is difficult, but most agreed it was centered around Ed Belfour, Steve Larmer, and Steve Smith. There were a few other names involved, and draft picks, and a ton of money going a couple ways; a $10 million check to Lindros himself and a bunch more to the Nordiques. Of course, when all this was presented to Bill Wirtz, assuming he was awake at the time, he would have turned… well, a different shade of purple than he normally was, spit up a bathtub of bourbon and probably try to hit Keenan with a phone.

But had Keenan caught Wirtz on a good day… or maybe just asleep, or maybe like Mr. Burns after a morphine binge, the shape the future of multiple NHL teams could have been greatly altered. So…what if the Blackhawks had traded for Eric Lindros?

Everything Else

Plans/Changes For The New Season: This Is Actually Some Big Stuff

By 1570

Hey all. You may have noticed we have been dark for a little bit lately. That’s how it usually goes. The last two weeks of August are dead time anyway, and we kind of use it to recharge for what’s ahead. Friday we’ll have our award-winning, world-famous Bears roundtable, which we know you’re just dying for.

But after that, it’ll be time to kick the pig for the new season, and boy do we have plans for that.

Everything Else

Let’s Look At Someone Else’s Cap Situation For Once

By 1565

Some free agent news breaking the past couple days, which is rare for August but hey we’ll take it.

-Today, the Edmonton Oilers signed Leon Draisaitl to an eight-year, $65 million deal. Drice was coming out of his entry deal, and the Oilers weren’t going to fuck around with a bridge deal, just like they didn’t with Run CMD who starts taking home $12 million a year starting the season after this upcoming one.

And nor should they.

Everything Else

Don’t Ever Let Your Heroes Talk

By 1649

At this point in my life, at least circling the concept of being an adult without actually becoming one, I know that separating the art from the artist isn’t only a good idea, it’s pretty necessary most of the time. I know Jeremy Roenick is getting ever more bloated, both physically and philosophically, and has essentially been a barking face-orifice for the past five to ten years now. So I have to keep his playing career, perhaps the single element most responsible for my Hawks and hockey fandom, separate from the man himself. And most of the time, it’s easy.

But every so often…

Everything Else

Friday Foofaraw: FFUD’s World Famous English Premier League Preview

By 1643

We’re bored, it’s August, and Cieslak and I finally have meaning in our lives again with the return of the EPL. So for those of you who are like minded and spend your weekend mornings blisteringly hungover and screaming at various men in shorts that you call “muppets” when you should be in bed, this is for you! Our team-by-team breakdown:

Arsenal: Once again, Arsene Wenger brings back essentially the same team except this time he added a shiny new French striker. I could have written that sentence in 1999, or 2006, or 2010, or 2014. They’ll be really good if they can get Alexis Sanchez to stay, which they should because he can really only go to PSG or Munich. And Munich aren’t going to pony up anytime soon, and I doubt he wants to go wax Neymar’s eyebrows for the rest of his useful career. But you know the drill here. Either they’ll start out on fire, everyone will get hurt in February, and they’ll wheeze to the end. Or everyone will get hurt in September, they’ll wheeze through the middle of the season, and then close with a flourish and probably win the FA Cup again just to provide excitement for next year so we can do this all over again. Either way, they’ll be bitching about Ozil’s effort when it gets cold. At least they can’t give up 17 goals to Munich in the Champions League again.

Likely Finish: Solidly Top Four, but nowhere near title-challenging.

Everything Else

Suggestion Box: Let’s Get Radical

By 1528

Most of the changes we’ve advocated here the past few days, or have been talking about for a few years, are pretty simple. They’re logical. They make sense. Which is why the NHL is never going to adopt them.

The problem with these discussions is you have to accept that there’s something inherently wrong with the game on the ice. That it’s not entertaining. I don’t know if I buy that. I don’t know that a lack of goals means boring (I say this is a soccer fan, so take it for what it’s worth). Lack of scoring does not mean lack of action. Action is the crux here.

But I could definitely see where people think hockey has a lack of action. While the game has never been faster, and teams are every so slowly stocking their roster with more speed and skill (at least some are), that doesn’t mean it’s all that fluid. A lot of games descend into one team stretch passing to a forward at the other blue line to chip in, and then basically an attempt at a cycle. It can ground down in a hurry, and far too much playoff hockey looks like this. It happens quickly to be sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s all that vibrant.