Everything Else

Game #32 – Hawks 3, Jets 6: Start The Fire, Headfirst Into The Firefight

By Sam Fels 1760 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica 

It’s unfair, and nearly impossible, to get a handle on what kind of job Jeremy Colliton is doing after 17 games. I could sit here and say that the Hawks don’t quit even when they’ve been down for what is it, 13 straight games? And I could say that he doesn’t have anything to work with, especially on the blue line. I could say that they’re not getting saves (though they did tonight to a point). I could say a lot of things.

But then there’s the starts. And whatever the problems are on the roster, and they are numerous, there’s no way we can sit here and say that the Hawks haven’t consistently come out unready to play. You can’t fall behind for as many games in a row as it is now, and usually my multiple goals, and claim otherwise. And that has to be coaching. Or preparation. Whatever you want to call it.

Now maybe it’s on the players, who got one coach fired and don’t seem to be responding to the next one until there’s a certain level of embarrassment/professionalism/both. But you’d think you’d find a way to get through to everyone, veterans and neophytes alike, to get that to kick in when the first puck drops. It’s been a month since they have. That’s on someone.

Sure, lack of talent is the biggest culprit. But then explain an effort like this from one of your alternate captains:

Maybe Seabrook is so used to getting beat to the outside that he was just turning and getting ready for it. But facing the wrong way and just leaving your stick out there in the hopes that Kyle Connor would somehow trip himself or something, that’s a shit-assed effort. That’s I-couldn’t-give-a-fuck effort. And that’s from a player playing catch-up most nights when he does care.

And he still gets 22 minutes of time. Now, perhaps Colliton fears he simply can’t go to the mat with any of his veterans, but at some point that bleeds from reverence to no one’s accountable. And that’s only going to get worse if it goes unchecked. Maybe the perception would be Seabrook is the easy target, because Quenneville scratched him once last year. But it also wouldn’t make it much of a shock for the rest of the team. Colliton has played tough guy/bad cop the last time the Hawks were outclassed in Winnipeg in the press. At some point that has to happen with the team.

That doesn’t mean going Jim Fucking Boylen on the Hawks, I don’t care about bag skates. I don’t care about turning over postgame spreads or anything like that. But someone is going to have to pay for any part of this with ice time, and stripping it from a young player isn’t the answer.

Fin.

The Two Obs

-The other mark against Colliton is that the Hawks continue to not have any communication in the defensive zone. Don’t fool yourself, switching from the zone system the Hawks used to play to the man system they want now isn’t like going from a 4-3 to a 3-4. The principles are at least based on the same thing. It’s amazing how many times you look and you’ll see the Hawks have everyone covered, and then simple movement from an attacker and a lack of talking either causes the Hawks to not switch guys or completely ignore someone on the other side of the ice. That isn’t about talent. That isn’t anyone getting beat. That’s just a lack of attention to detail.

-There isn’t much else to point out, because you don’t learn anything when the game is over after 15 minutes and the only reason it becomes anything of a contest is because the team leading is already making plans for the night after the showers. so let’s talk about Eddie Olczyk’s and Pat Foley’s race to be the next Hawk Harrelson.

It’s clear Eddie’s war on analytics is directed at Stan Bowman, and perhaps at whoever else told Eddie he couldn’t be a coach or GM because of his dismissal of them. We’ve spilled countless words on the idiocy of this “fight.” Mostly because every other sport, including soccer by the way, has long ago accepted that there is useful information to be found within them and it helps build a team to win.

And Pat and Eddie’s contention that they don’t tell you who wins battles, as close as it is to Hawk’s TWTW mantra, is quite simply wrong. Because it tells you who gets the puck. Which is generally a good idea, or so I thought.

I’m resigned to the rest of the season being Eddie essentially reading his resume on air a la Mark Jackson a few years ago on NBA broadcasts, and Foley being his hype-man. I can only hope Eddie keeps displaying the reasons why no one should ever hire him.

-Also their 10 minute discussion of the 80s Oilers and 90s Penguins wasn’t all that far off from Hawk’s love letters to Yaz.

-Last point, Olczyk did claim that they both think the goaltending has been good. Crawford is at .901. Ward is at .888. They have the ninth-worst SV% at evens and the 4th worst overall. So yeah, it’s been great.

-As for the on the ice. it’s clear that Dylan Strome has use. How much, don’t know yet, and his learning curve is going to be longer. He’s got the hands and vision but he’s going to have to wait until his anticipation and instincts get him to the spots he needs faster than his feet get him there now. That can happen. It may only lead him to being a poor man’s Brad Richards, but that’ll play. It certainly is going to take more than the 50 games the Coyotes gave him.

–Connor Murphy is a clearly more confident player when he’s not worried about his coach painting a big, red #4 on his face and then beating Murphy over the head with a shovel every time he makes the tiniest mistake. I look forward to what it looks like when he’s up to game-speed.

Onwards…

Everything Else

Game #30 – Resist All the Urges That Make You Wanna Go Out and Kill – Hawks 3 Knights 4

By John Pullega 2021 0

This game was Laura Powers ripping Bart’s heart out and kicking it into the trash. After taking the lead for the first time in nine games, the Hawks gave up two goals in 12 fucking seconds. Up until that point, the Hawks were playing well! Aside from spotting the Knights their requisite two goals early, the Hawks dominated possession until the third. Whatever, let’s fucking do this already.

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

– Let’s just get the shit out of the way. Brent Seabrook can retire now and have a wonderful legacy. He’s done so very, very much for this team, and the greatest thing he can do now is just stop. Just hang them up, take the assistant coach position from actual goblin Barry Smith, and go down in history.

Seabrook’s turnover on the game-winning goal for Vegas was one thing. But watching Alex Tuch bowl through him and jam the dagger into everyone’s fucking skull is utterly embarrassing. We can complain that Patches interfered, and I don’t think we’d be wrong. But regardless, Tuch manhandling Seabrook was the perfect microcosm of what this team has become: bloated, behind, and thrashing in a sea of shit.

As much as I want to get completely red and nude about what Brent Seabrook is now, I just can’t. It’s like watching your 16-year-old dog, your lifelong companion, shit in the middle of the floor, only to hang his head in shame. He knows he shouldn’t do that, but he’s just so old. The anger melts into grief, which only makes you madder and sadder. What’s worse is you know no one else will take him in, and you just can’t bear putting him out to pasture. So you let him shit on the floor, over and over, just wishing the nightmare would end.

– Certainly not one of Crawford’s best either. It’s a given that he’s going to have to make outrageous saves every night, because this fucking team is an unwashed armpit crawling with impetigo. But the game-tying goal from Marchessault in the third is inexcusable. The dying emu off Engelland’s stick in the first was another one Crow probably should have had. Konroyd, who manages to be both an idiot and a Milhouse, kept saying it bounced off Toews, which is proof positive that it didn’t and Crow just missed it. Even the first goal he gave up was a result of poor rebound control, which gave Reilly Smith a chance to Baryshnikov his way to the game opener.

– I don’t know how many times we are going to have to say it, but Alex DeBrincat still isn’t a third liner. When you had Top Cat–Strome–Kane on the ice toward the end of the second, they were dominant. DeBrincat and Strome were toward the bottom in TOI in the first, which is inconceivable. I want to know what the grand conspiracy against DeBrincat is, because there’s no logical explanation for why Dominik Kahun or David Kampf get plush spots over him. You’d think the GREAT COMMUNICATOR would have this explanation front and center, and yet we wait and wonder.

– Brendan Perlini sucks. He’s Kris Versteeg with a pedigree.

– I tried being nice, but Brandon Manning can go right back to eating my toenails after a long, hot run. It’s one thing if, like, Erik Karlsson storms the blue line on the PK to try to force a turnover. But there was Brandon Manning, doing just that prior to Vegas’s first goal. In case anyone’s forgotten, Brandon Manning sucks so much he blows, and you could see Marchessault giggling as he shuffled a pass right past him, leaving Seabrook all alone to defend. I’d take Connor Murphy eight weeks ago over him.

– On the plus side, Jonathan Toews was a force. He scored his goal from behind the goal line. He won faceoff after faceoff late in the third in the offensive zone, giving the Hawks hope. He took everything and then some, and it still wasn’t enough.

– Dylan Strome could be something. For all the worrying we did about his supposed lack of speed, he’s almost always in the right place. You don’t expect him to pot shots like the bad angle one he did in the second with any regularity, but it’s nice to know that he’s got it in his bag of tricks. Imagine what he and DeBrincat could do with Kane on the wing.

– Patrick Kane was also dominant tonight, and he did it while playing more minutes than anyone on the Hawks. Though he spent most of his time with Kahun and Wide Dick, which is such a goddamn waste.

– Credit to Artie though. Forcing a turnover and giving the Hawks their first goddamn lead in nine motherfucking games was nice, even if it was fleeting.

– I want to know whose idea it’s been to continue doing the neutral zone/own zone drop pass, because I’m going to pull my brain out from my asshole and piss on it until it dissolves like a skidmark if it keeps happening. This skullfuck of a strategy led to sustained pressure for the Knights WHILE THE HAWKS HAD A MAN ADVANTAGE during the second PP in the second period. I know I shouldn’t yell about that, since the PP is worse than a Truth commercial, but did you ever think it could possibly get worse? Fire whoever is in charge of making that decision out of a cannon into the motherfucking sun.

It was right there for the Hawks, and they threw up in their shoes. With the insufferable game at Notre Dame against Boston coming up and the Hawks falling farther and farther down in the standings, don’t be surprised if the next few weeks are the swan song for Bowman and maybe even Colliton.

Eat Arby’s.

Booze du Jour: Four Roses straight from the bottle

Line of the Night: “Artem Anisimov puts the Hawks ahead for the first time in nine games!” – Pat Foley

Everything Else

Game #29 – You Will Obey Me While I Lead You and Eat the Garbage That I Feed You – Hawks 2 Ducks 4

By John Pullega 1601 0

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

Call the Blackhawks what you want, but you have to admit they’re consistent. They once again found themselves down early, spasmed an effort in the second (which ironically saw them post a 35+ CF% against the second-worst possession team in the league), and got buried in the third. Swiss watches don’t keep better time than this script at this point. Watching the Hawks now has all the feel of finding a mole in your taint and deciding “Yes, I’m going to pick this out with my fingernails.” It’s gross and awful, and we’re not sure how we really got to this point, but we’re an inch and a half deep, so there’s no turning back. Let’s try to clean up the blood.

– We’ll start with some good, because there’s so little to be found. Erik Gustafsson’s goal was the beautiful result of vintage Patrick Kane and Duncan Keith. If you only just started watching Blackhawks hockey and saw that play, you’d wonder how this team’s record is such piss. Kane’s preternatural ice awareness let him swing a no-look pass through the slot to a wide-open Keith, and Keith’s shot fake led to a month-long ban on all jock strap sales to John Gibson at sporting goods stores nationwide.

– Gustafsson’s goal and later post are what make him such a nightmare to watch. You can see that there’s offensive potential, but you have to dig through an awfully deep pile of shit to get there. If the Hawks ever decide to admit that this isn’t a playoff team (which they should have done after firing Q), don’t be surprised to see Gus on the move. He can certainly find a spot on someone’s (read: Toronto’s) third pairing and bum slay. As much as I hate to admit it, he—like many of the Hawks’s peripheral players—is a toy.

– Don’t look now, but Brandon Manning has spasmed a Jordan Oesterle over the last few games. If you ignore the fact that he had a 27+ CF% (and you should, because I sure as shit am), you can probably argue that he was at least fine last night. Or at least in the first period. He created the mad scramble in front of the ice that led to Brandon Saad’s crossbar, then managed to follow up with a shot off Pontus Aberg after Aberg cleared the paint. He then drew a roughing penalty late in the first. These are the straws we are grasping at here, but if Manning can look at least competent for a stretch, some throbbing sack of toxic masculinity will trade a pick for him.

– Alex DeBrincat’s goal was a clinic in puck handling. After Jonathan Toews settled a turnover down, he delivered a pass almost directly into DeBrincat’s chest. DeBrincat not only settled that down but also flicked a shot past Gibson to tie the game. As is the refrain: Thank God he’s 5’7”.

– I have two fun facts for you. First, here’s a sampling of forwards who played more 5v5 time than DeBrincat last night: John Hayden, Dominik Kahun, Dylan Strome, David Kampf, Brendan Perlini, and Artem Anisimov. Second, and this fact is really fun, NONE OF THOSE FORWARDS SHOULD BE PLAYING MORE 5V5 TIME THAN ALEX DEBRINCAT. You can talk to me about how DeBrincat played four minutes on the PP and I will tell you to run headfirst up my asshole. There is simply no excuse for this no matter how you slice it.

If you are a massive brain genious who thinks that this team is still playoff hopeful, then you have to have your best pure shooter on the ice as much as possible, especially since the Hawks have scored exactly two goals per game over the last three games. If you think that it’s time to Lose for Hughes, then you want to see what your young crop can do, and wouldn’t you fucking know it, Alex DeBrincat still isn’t old enough to legally buy a drink.

I don’t know whether this is a Colliton decision (when approached by, I think it was Lazarus, about the fact that DeBrincat played only 46 seconds at 5v5 in the first, Colliton said “that’s not right,” as in he was refuting a fact) or Barry Smith and the front office telling Colliton what they want, but neither gives me the warm and fuzzies. And when you add the rumbling about bringing Artemi Panarin back to this weirdness, it gets even more frustrating, because DeBrincat does more than Panarin does, is younger, and doesn’t cost $10 million.

If you want to make a case for Top Cat playing with Strome, fine. But make those two, plus whichever unpainted sad clown you want to shove with them, your second line and be done with it. Alex DeBrincat is not and has never been a third fucking liner, and when even Coach Mr. Turner is treating him as such, you have to wonder if this is a decision being made by the HOCKEY MEN in the front office.

– And what the fuck is this new “drop pass behind center ice off the boards” horseshit? It happened two or three times last night, which indicates that this is no accident. I don’t know whether this is Colliton drawing it up or THE CORE just doing shit they’re comfortable with, but it’s got to stop. I never thought I’d yearn to see a drop pass at the opponent’s blue line, but here we fucking are.

– Be happy Duncan Keith had that incredible shot fake, because outside of that, he got horsed all night. On the ice for six high-danger chances for the Ducks at 5v5. Several turnovers in his own zone leading to sustained pressure. An interference penalty in the second because he couldn’t keep up. He will go down as the best Hawks D-man in history, but with each passing day it gets harder and harder to remember that.

– We all said that if Corey Crawford came back and was Corey Crawford, we might have a fringe playoff team. Last night was another instance of forcing ourselves to ask “What if this is what we’re getting now?” Crow probably should have had both the second and third goals Anaheim scored. On the second, Seabrook forced Daniel Sprong to almost below the goal line, and Sprong still managed to shelf it over Crow’s glove-side shoulder. In the third, Ondrej Kase did much of the same, albeit with a slightly better angle. This isn’t to put the blame for the loss on Crawford—given how many incredible saves he made on the night—but if you’re waiting for a Crawford miracle, it might be too late for you.

– Even if you count the four posts as shots on goal, the Hawks still got outshot by the Ducks. Even for the Hawks in their current state, that’s simply unacceptable.

Jeremy Colliton is in a really tough spot, with young guys who mostly suck and a Core that either can’t or won’t do the things it’s expected to do. You and I both know what this team is, and all we can hope is that Coach Mr. Turner starts focusing on getting Strome and DeBrincat more time on the ice. Because what else is there, other than another late game tonight?

Just cut my head off and kick it into the lake.

Booze du Jour: Four Roses and High Life

Line of the Night: After the inane Hayden fight, the national broadcast made a comment about how “He probably didn’t have to do that at Yale,” then proceeded to namedrop Yale a few more times. It was a great moment in Mute Lounge History.

Everything Else

Game #28 – Flames 3, Hawks 2 – Just a Deadbeat, Right Off the Street, Bound to Follow You Down

By Rose Rankin 2108 0

Tonight’s game was quite a throwback—to stupidity, dirty hits, pointless fights, everything you remember from the bad old days! This marks two games in a row where the Blackhawks have had a player thrown out, which tells you nearly all you need to know. Let’s get to it:

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

–The Hawks actually made it over 10 minutes without giving up a goal in the first period. This is where we’re at now, when going half of the first without falling behind is a major step. Putting aside the blackness of that reality, not only did they avoid giving up multiple goals early, they even answered the Flames’ first goal with a classic forehand-backhand by Jonathan Toews, which just de-pantsed Mike Smith. So the game didn’t get off to TOO terrible of a start, although it must be said that the Flames outshot the Hawks 18-6 in the first. Think about that for a minute. They gave up 18 shots in one period, which is bad enough, and that was a full three times the number of shots they themselves managed. What does this tell you? One, is that they barely clung to life in that period. Two, is that the only reason they did so was because Corey Crawford is unreal. He had multiple saves in the first that kept the game from getting out of hand early, including after Forsling had a bad giveaway, and also on the PK after Kunitz took Dumb Penalty #1 (more on that later). Crawford hasn’t exactly been lights out in his last few games, but none of the goals tonight can be pinned on him as bad or soft ones. He was definitely back to form.

–And man did we need him to be. The level of stupidity tonight was really something to behold. After getting out of the first tied at one and with a tenuous hold on things through 4-on-4 to start the second, Chris Kunitz went full-on Neanderthal and elbowed Travis Hamonic in what can only be described as a dickhead play. Hamonic’s head was down, but Kunitz went high with the elbow and he was getting rid of the puck so it was both foolish and dangerous. Kunitz fully deserved the major penalty and game misconduct. And of course, the Flames scored twice on the ensuing extended power play. Those goals made the difference in the game, and they were entirely because of Kunitz being a stupid asshole. If he isn’t stapled to a chair in the pressbox for the rest of the season that will prove once and for all that the Hawks’ brass is incompetent, doesn’t understand how to win, and doesn’t care to figure it out.

–In an attempt to not be outdone in the stupid asshole department, everyone’s favorite dung heap Brandon Manning got in the most useless and wimpy fight possible with Garnet Hathaway (which btw is NOT an actual name). The two skated around each other with fists brandished like old timey boxers, and hit each other far less than that. It didn’t “change the momentum” or “send a message.” In fact, the only upside was that Manning spent most of the rest of the game in the penalty box and thus unable to offend our eyes with his playing.

–Clearly I’m not one for fighting, but I will say this: in the second period when James Neal basically stomped on Corey Crawford and Crawford came after him and nearly punched him, I was cackling with delight. If Crow wants to hit someone because he’s frustrated with this shitty team and the defense allowing him to get curb-stomped, I’ll set aside my issues and I’ll be here for it.

–The power play…it’s just so bad. And on paper it really shouldn’t be: Toews, Kane, Saad, DeBrincat and Jokiharju…this should be a functional first power play unit! But they can’t make a zone entry to save their lives. Seriously. They cannot get out of their own zone, they cannot get through the neutral zone, and they most certainly can’t get across the offensive blue line. It’s like a god damn force field, and that stupid-ass drop pass in the defensive zone has lived on in the Colliton era like a recurring nightmare. There are too many issues to cover in these bullets, but suffice it to say that the clown shoes are still firmly entrenched.

–Alright, enough doom and gloom. What was good from this game? Toews’ goal was pretty and we need the top line to keep scoring. The Kahun-Kampf-Kane line may be something that works. Their 43 CF% didn’t bode all that well but they were certainly fast (and besides, the entire team was underwater in possession). Dylan Strome had a nice goal. And once again, for the cheap seats in the back, Crawford finished the night with a .927 SV% and an assist, and had to face 41 fucking shots on goal.

Tonight was ugly, dumb and frustrating. If the Hawks had gotten blown out it would have made sense and been deserved. The Flames are playing much better, but again this could have been a winnable game—Mike Smith is Mike Smith which means there’s always a chance, and the fact that it came down to the stupidest of penalties is downright painful. But, there’s no rest for the wicked with three more games this week. Fire Chris Kunitz into the sun. Onward and upward.

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune

 

Everything Else

Game #25 – Knights 8, Hawks 3 – Seen It All, Done It All, Felt Pain More

By Adam Hess 2118 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corisca

This season is barely more than 25% done and it’s already become a damn chore to watch these games. It’s hard to evaluate what’s going on in games like this outside of “holy fuck this is awful” which makes my job for this wrap all the more difficult. I will do my best to not be dramatic, but spoiler alert, it’s a lot of suck. THE BULLETS (hopefully one lodges itself in my skull):

– Let’s start with a positive: I was rather impressed with Dylan Strome in this game. His skill showed out a few times and his hockey instincts that you hear praised a lot were on full display almost all night, especially on his goal. There was one shift in the first period where he basically just posted up in the slot for about 30 seconds while Kane and Top Cat made some stuff happen on the outside, and he got a few decent looks out of it. His goal was just pure instincts in ending up in the right spot for a netfront scrum, and he made a hell of a play on the Hawks third goal in garbage time, forechecking hard and stripping the Vegas defenseman before making a beautiful pass to set up Erik Gustafsson for a goal. On top of that, with lack of skating speed being his main weakness, there was never a moment where I thought “damn, if only he was faster” tonight. That might be because of the rest of the roster, but he hung with the Hawks two fastest guys in Kane and Top Cat. For this being his first game in the Four Feather Sweater, he made a good impression.

– Now the bad. There are two main players that were absolute garbage tonight, and they are probably the two players the Hawks absolutely cannot have be garbage. Those were Jonathan Toews, and Duncan Keith. Let’s give them each their own bullet so I can really flesh out the bitching.

– Let me take you to the second Knights’ goal of the night, with just under 8 minutes to go in the period. Frustratingly, this play starts in the Hawks zone, with the puck on the Hawks fucking sticks. Toews gets a pass and kinda backs into the near (to the TV) corner, surveying the ice and kind of buying time as the Hawks finish a total change. But then he inexplicably blindly flings the puck to the point, with the only problem being that there’s no one there. It ends up going all the way down to Crawford behind the net. Toews makes absolutely zero effort to get back into the Hawks d-zone, and after Crawford makes a bad turnover (that I don’t really blame him for) Alex Tuch picks a corner with Toews still on the wrong side of the red line. Later on he was almost solely responsible for the Knights’ third goal, as he was way out of position and didn’t shut down the slot as Gustav Forsling was forced to pinch the corner (more on that in a moment). His positioning was awful and Cody Eakin, who should’ve been Toews’ man, was all alone in front of Crawford for a goal. It didn’t get better for the Captain, despite him making the score sheet with an assist.

– Now let’s talk about Duncan Keith. This is kind of well-worn at this point, and you all know that there is no lack of love for Keith and what he has meant to this franchise from anyone at this site, myself included. But he was just utter ass tonight. Let’s revisit the Knights’ third goal that we mentioned above where Toews didn’t cover his man correctly. Well, the only reason that bad positioning by Toews was so egregious was because Keith went sight-seeing behind the net even though he had tons of time to adjust after his man passed the puck into the corner while skating behind the net. If you’re behind the net skating away from the puck as a defenseman, you’re about as useful as the drunk asshole in the front row banging on the glass in the corner. Keith’s little detour resulted in Forsling being in an awkward position and having to pinch the corner, which led to Toews needing to cover the slot but not doing it, which led to a goal. If Keith goes to the corner with the puck, the Hawks have this defended well. Instead, it ends up in the back of their net. It also didn’t get better for Keith throughout the night, and the Knights eighth and final goal ended up going in off of him.

– My last two major gripes about this game are simple. Number 1 – the Blackhawks have no fucking clue what they’re doing in their defensive zone, both when they have the puck and when their don’t. Their breakout strategy is non-existant. I extolled the virtues of getting away from Q’s slow, methodical breakouts, but even that was better than watching these fuckstick defensemen play hot potato with the puck and not make any real decision to get it up the ice. Gripe Number 2 – the effort in the third period was fucking piss poor. I know it was already 6-2 and the game was pretty much over, but having an 18% CF at 5v5 in a game you are losing at home is fucking inexcusable. How can this team expect us to believe they can compete if they clearly don’t believe it, or don’t care to at least act like they do?

Everything Else

Game #25 – Golden Knights vs. Hawks Preview: Yet Another New Toy Day

By Sam Fels 1735 0

 vs. 

RECORDS: Knights 12-12-1   Hawks 9-10-5

PUCK DROP: 7pm

TV: NBCSN outside the 606, NBCSN Chicago inside

DIAMONDS AND DUST: Sinbin Vegas

I suppose one of the good things about following a team in transition is that every couple of weeks you get something new to watch and study. A few weeks ago it was Jeremy Collition and the changes he would bring. Let’s throw Gustav Forsling in there, just because he was an improvement on a defense that was just that bad, and because we have so little. And tonight, the Hawks will unveil Dylan Strome and Brendan Perlini. They even gave them normal numbers. So you know it’s real.

While the United Center faithful didn’t have any strong attachment to Nick Schmaltz, at least I don’t think they did, it won’t stop them from having the knives out and the boos ready if Strome and Perlini don’t immediately make an impact (somewhere around four goals each, I’m guessing). Stan Bowman isn’t out there for everyone to jeer, so they’ll go through his proxies if they have to.

From practice yesterday it doesn’t sound like Strome is going to slot directly into the second line, which he should, because no one has told me why we have to stick with Artem Anisimov and the increasingly shrinking amount of things he does. Strome will start on the fourth line between Marcus Kruger and…Alex Fortin? Dominik Kahun? Maybe Perlini? Perlini is a good bet to start on the third-line with Kampf and either Kahun or Fortin. And if things go well, don’t be shocked if Strome gets a promotion right away.

Elsewhere, Henri Jokiharju is under the weather and they’re not sure if he’ll play, which is a real fucking problem tonight. But we’ll get to that. Corey Crawford will start.

This is not the best night for any new Hawks to debut (or de-butt in the words of Matt Riddle) or for them to be without The HarJu, because the Golden Knights are the type of team the Hawks can’t deal with and the team that simply used them as a hand-puppet last year to do unspeakable things they could blame on an alter-ego. This is the model the Hawks probably want to chase in terms of style. It’s the one they can’t actually match in terms of ability to play it.

The Knights have struggled all year, or more to the point they’ve been extremely unlucky. Their metrics actually suggest they’ve been better this year than they were last. What they haven’t been able to do is get a save or catch a fish with dynamite. They roll in with the sixth-lowest shooting-percentage at even-strength and the third-lowest save-percentage as well, and that’s with two shutouts in their last two games. Marc-Andre Fleury has been sinking them until this week. and other than Jonathan Marchessault they can’t really get anyone to consistently score. William Karlsson‘s shooting-percentage has cut in half from last year, which no one gleefully saw coming, of course. Reilly Smith has the NBA Jam announcer following him around at all times screaming, “CAN’T BUY A BUCKET!” Max Pacioretty was nowhere until a six-goal week last week. As any Vegas visitor will tell you, the market correction on good luck can be swift and violent and leave you weeping with no pants.

Still, this is a team coming in off shutting out the Flames and Sharks, two teams ahead of them in the Pacific, on back-to-back nights at home. This is the team that plays fastest in the league, and no matter how you try and dream it up you can’t find a way that the Hawks defense can live with that. If there’s something to cling to, it’s that the Knights have been woeful on the road, at 5-9-0. But again, that’s mostly because Fleury or Malcom Subban have been trying to stop pucks by talking nicely to them for most of the season. Their metrics are right in line.

The task is tall and clear. This is one of the best defensive teams in the league. The Knights give up the second-least amount of attempts, the least amount of shots, and the second-least amount of scoring chances at evens in the league per 60. Their expected goals-against per 60 is fourth-best. They give nothing, and we know they can take everything from the Hawks on any rush. It also would behoove the Hawks to like, kill off a power play. Maybe even two, but I don’t want to be accused of being greedy. Either way, the Hawks are going to have to find a way to create chances with a lineup short on offensive dash against a team giving up basically nothing all year. Good seats still available!

Still, the Hawks schedule isn’t kind for this month. The Knights are on it twice. So are the Preds. So are the Jets. So are the Avs. The Sharks appear once. Blink and the Hawks could be done by Christmas. So if it’s ever going to click into gear, it had better be right now. If it doesn’t…Stan, meet Hextall.

 

Game #25 Preview Suite

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

It Has Worked! You’ve Given Everything Away!

By Sam Fels 3392 0

There are so many layers to this Nick Schmaltz trade. So let’s start on the surface. On the surface, or in a vacuum, or whatever arena you need to evaluate the trade simply on the players involved, it’s not a bad trade. If you go by the “Team That Gets Best Player Wins Trade” model, then the Coyotes probably win it. But they only win it because we don’t know what Dylan Strome is yet.

Strome has played 48 games in the NHL. In his first full season as a pro last year, he was a point per game in the AHL. Now, that doesn’t mean much, even at age 20 which Strome was. Recall Brandon Pirri leading that league in scoring once in his early 20s, and it didn’t get him anything other than the Mike Sillinger Train To Everywhere. Still, it means he’s probably not incompetent. Or has the potential to be not incompetent at the highest level.

The Coyotes clearly saw enough to declare the #3 pick overall just three years ago wasn’t for them. The knocks are clear. He’s not very quick. His skating doesn’t pop. And even at his size, 6-3 and 200 pounds, has been reluctant to assert himself physically. And maybe that’s being kind.

If I were you, I would also allow for the fact that Strome has played all his NHL games under Rick Tocchet, who has proven beyond a doubt that he’s a moron. It’s hard to think of any player in Arizona who has reached beyond what you thought he might be in the year and change under Tocchet. Clayton Keller? Whatever. We have no idea if Jeremy Colliton is any better, but right now I’ll take the hope he can clear a low bar than what I already know Tocchet to be. We basically have to cling to that.

It is not requisite to be fast to be good at center in this league, but it’s getting a harder and harder needle to thread. If Strome is going to get by on his vision and instincts and smarts, and everyone still agrees all of those are at a high-level, his learning curve is a lot longer. Which is fine for a team that has time and a fanbase that has patience. I’m not convinced either of those are true here.

Brandon Perlini has already proven to be a useful piece on a bottom six. He has 31 goals over the past two seasons, is big as well but more importantly skates really well. Right now you could plug him in over John Hayden, Chris Kunitz, Andreas Martinsen and that would be an improvement. Maybe even Dominik Kahun. The Hawks need more forwards who can do something, and Perlini can do something. Get Sikura up here and things are at least improved. And tell Chris Kunitz it’s time to retire.

The Hawks turned one useful forward into possibly two. And they need numbers.

We like Nick Schmaltz. Always have. But we thought it was curious that he was always being mentioned as something of a cornerstone. Nick Schmaltz maxes out as a #2 center. A right-handed Michael Nylander if everything goes right? Nylander spasmed a couple huge seasons as a Ranger, and maybe Schmaltz will have one or two as well. That’s a complimentary player, not a foundational one.

The knocks on Schmaltz are clear. This was the year he’s supposed to grab the brass ring. This is when he was supposed to play above a bridge contract. The Hawks wanted to give him that bridge-plus or more contract. They said so. And most players want to do big things in their free agent year. Most do those things. This is when the chips are actually down and you can rake them toward you.

Schmaltz went backward. He was moved to wing, rightly or wrongly. But there’s no getting around the amount of times he begged off any kind of physical battle. It was happening more and more. That’s how you want to go about seizing a big-time contract? That’s who you are when yo have the most to make?

Schmatlz’s pass-first mentality, to an extent, is acceptable because he has the ability to be a plus-playmaker. But this season, it had gotten to pathological. And he was passing out of spots that didn’t suggest pass-first, but a lack of instincts. I don’t know that ever gets fixed.

Schmaltz has the ability to be a good, not great, defensive center. But he isn’t. Every metric bares that out. Yes, he can steal pucks when he gets to sneak up on someone. But he was much more often overpowered down low, when he even bothered, and his positional sense was iffy. Again, I don’t know that gets fixed. Being a good defensive forward is at least half want-to. Schmaltz has proven to not have much of that.

It’s when you dig deeper on this trade that you get worried. Schmaltz was considered important enough to keep the Hawks’ cap space dry for his extension. And then it took 24 games to go from that to expendable? Either Stan Bowman knew this was a possibility and this quarter of a season just confirmed that, or he’s using an awfully small sample size. Neither is encouraging.

To be fair, the window to trade Schmaltz isn’t that big. You only have 40 more games or so before the deadline, and maybe he plays even worse and lowers his value even more. But if trading him was even a possibility, meaning the Hawks weren’t completely sold on him, what deals did they miss out on this summer when his value would have been higher? Either Stan Bowman was lying to you, or he can’t judge the talent on his team anymore. It’s like one of the final scenes in “The Rock.”  “So they know we’re bluffing? Oh great, so we’re incompetent.”

Schmaltz becomes the second “piece” mentioned this summer to make his way to the Valley Of The Sun. Vinnie Hinostroza was another who we were told after last season that Stan wanted to keep around and be the support system for one last push from the Core Five. Only Alex DeBrincat remains.

Which makes you skeptical about what the Hawks are really going to get from whom they’re pushing now. Adam Boqvist, Ian Mitchell, Nicholas Beaudin?. We’re already raising a people’s eyebrow about Sikura and Ejdsell, without giving up. But when was the last time the Hawks developed a real, genuine d-man. Nick Leddy? Jury’s is very much out on Henri Jokiharju.

On this roster now, other than the Core Five this regime had nothing to do with, the only player you build around that has come through the system is Top Cat. Anyone else who might have has been traded for various reasons, but without much in return. What makes you think any of this is going to change?

It appears more and more that here is no plan, and Stan is going to keep throwing things at the wall under his Core Five until something works. Which is usually the last act of a GM on his way out. You have to wonder how many more flings he’s got.

Everything Else

Game #6 – Coyotes vs. Hawks Q&A: Rose Ford From FiveForHowling.com

By Sam Fels 1950 0

Rose Ford is the editor of FiveForHowling.com. Follow her on Twitter @RoseColoredFact.

The Coyotes have had an even weirder start to the season than the Hawks. Their underlying numbers are great, and yet they haven’t scored an even-strength goal in five games. How do you manage that?

If you mean how does the team manage that, the answer is they are cursed. Last October the Coyotes couldn’t buy a save but were scoring 2.5 goals per game. This season their shot suppression and goaltending are great (90.09 sv%) but they’re only scoring 0.6 goals per game. Any time it starts to look like something good is about to happen for the team some other shoe drops.  As for how the fans manage it some are being patient, it is only five games; others are concerned, teams can still play their way out of the playoffs early; and some are ready to panic and want to fire and trade everyone.

The big move of the summer was trading Max Domi for Alex Galchenyuk. Galchenyuk has yet to suit up due to injury, but can you assess the trade anyway because we like making people do unfair things?

The Galchenyuk trade is largely regarded as a win for Arizona’s GM John Chayka. In the fanbase’s view he traded a winger to get a center that has consistently scored 40 or more points in the last four seasons. Max Domi was very much a fan favorite in Arizona for his outgoing personality and friendliness toward the fans, so many will miss him. Most folks recognize that he wasn’t primarily a scorer and scoring is something the team desperately needs, even more so now. If Galchenyuk can consistently get on the scoreboard the fans will like him just as much. It also helps that they are other players on the team that have similar playmaking abilities as Domi, like Dylan Strome.

Dylan Strome spent a majority of last year in the AHL, where he put up 53 points in 50 games. Should we be expecting big things from him this year?

The fanbase hasn’t always been so patient waiting for Dylan Strome to show that he can be an NHL player, let alone a top six center. This season fans are finally starting to see some payoff for the team’s patience. He scored the Coyotes’ first goal and is utterly dominating the league in faceoffs for a player of his age. Although expectations should be tempered it’s difficult not to hope this is his year to shine.

Does Rick Tocchet have any idea what he’s doing? It’s ok you can tell us…

Rick Tocchet had one hell of a baptism by fire last season when he went from the back-to-back cup champions to a team that had 43% roster turnover, six entry-level contract players, and a whole new coaching staff and system. His style of play is a heck of a lot more exciting and entertaining than Dave Tippett’s. Honestly though, ask again after game 25.

Game #6 Preview Suite

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

Game #30 – Coyotes vs. Hawks Preview, Homebrew Sampling – Candy Cigarettes & Cap Guns

By Sam Fels 1932 0

 vs 

Game Time: 6:00
TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
I Really Wish Joe Arpaio Would Have Been Brutally Murdered In Prison: Five For Howling

It’s once again time for another tearful montage as a returning Hawks player appears in the United Center in an opposing uniform for the first time, one of the underrated aspects of how this championship window has played out, somehow being actually heartwarming, nauseating, sad, and hilarious all at the same time. Tonight would  have been that for the injured Niklas Hjalmarsson,  and this is the thanks he would have received for the absolute pounding he took while wearing red on West Madison for years, as he returns with the dog-ass (GET IT?) Coyotes.