Box Score
Event Summary
War on Ice
It is a very real possibility that the Hawks are going to go the final two months of the season without a win against a Western Conference playoff team, pending the outcome of next Thursday’s home tilt with the Blues, when the outcome could be moot anyway. And yet it’s high treason when it is suggested that this team might not be built for two months straight of Western Conference opponents. Kiss a sick monkey’s wet ass.
Time to pass the fuck-you’s around.
at 
Game Time: 9:00PM Central
TV/Radio: WGN, Sportsnet, WGN-AM 720
Learn How To Wear A Tie, You Fat Sloppy Irishman: Flames Nation, M & G
After four days off for everyone around the organization to prattle on about urgency and jump and turning on the switch and whatever other nonsense they can spew, the Hawks now take to the road in the northwest not to salt away a division, but to keep themselves out of a wild card position thanks to their own ineptitude.
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Game Time: 7:30PM
TV/Radio: Comcast SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Underneath These Shitty Stars: Defending Big D
Another day, another repugnant Blackhawks sex scandal, another STATEMENT GAME with a Central Division opponent.
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Game Time: 7:00PM
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, SportsNet 1, WGN-AM 720
Stare Into The Lion’s Eyes: Broad St. Hockey
As the above headline will indicate, Flyers Twitter is a weird and amusing place to dwell in for even a short amount of time. Perhaps it’s their championship drought despite having numerous good to great teams over the last 40 years that’s driven them batty, or their often times confounding management. Or maybe it’s the fact that by and large those fans live in a dyspeptic cracker hellscape of a state with two of the most abhorrent accents in any English dialect; a place that until recently had a legitimate thoroughfare officially labeled on maps as “The Road To Nowhere”. And of course, Travis fucking Hughes still hasn’t paid us our cheesesteaks going on six years later.
And those denizens have had plenty to be excited about lately as the Flyers have unexpectedly surged into the playoff conversation in the Eastern Conference.
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Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN+, NBCSN, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Hollywood Bowl: JFTC, Royal Half
On paper, it’s surprising that what’s become very clear as the vocal majority of Hawks fans aren’t more nakedly jealous of Kings fans. With basically an equal amount of success as the Hawks, Kings fans have been able to enjoy the organization from management to players being unrepentant pieces of since the summer of 2012 (when Drew Doughty was also accused of sexual assault and no one even to this day still seems to give a shit about) without having to mansplain themselves to Social Justice Warriors out to ruin the good times of white men everywhere.
Whether that’s a function of no one giving a fuck about the Kings on a national level even after winning two of the last four cups and leading their division for most of this year, or that Kings fans as a whole merely think it’s funny when it happens to other people without the slightest bit of self-reflection, their loyalty remains largely unquestioned to this point. The option of being able to enjoy their shit SPORTS franchise in uninterrupted complacency without being made to ask larger questions is certainly an option most would take.
at 
Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NHLN (US), SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Ernest Givins’ Electric Glide: Defending Big D
From one BIGGEST GAME OF THE YEAR to the next, the Hawks now travel to Dallas to face the Stars, with whom they are currently tied for the top seed in both the division and conference, but hold the tiebreaker in regulation wins.
In the wake of last night’s apparently controversial hit on Christian Ehrhoff by Ryan Reaves, Mike Milbury accused Ehrhoff of faking the injury, despite Reaves’ obvious attempt at taking his fucking head off.
The issue of fifth-line tough guys controlling the public message about the sport and justifying their own existence was actually covered in longform in Sunday’s print edition. And there’s no further proof of that than the fact that somehow even Hawks fans are defending known shitpile Ryan Reaves’ unmistakable actions in the aftermath. Read it after the jump.
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Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Literally A Fucking Radioactive Trash Pile: St. Louis Game Time
Because literally nothing John McDonough and Jay Blunk do is on accident or by coincidence, the NHL’s quiet announcement that they have concluded their “investigation” of Patrick Kane and have predictably found nothing calls into question a couple other media blips over the past 24 hours.
First, yesterday afternoon the geniuses running the Hawks’ social media department thought it was important to include Patrick Kane and his mother in a tweet acknowledging International Women’s Day, which is insulting and disgusting. And today it leaked that Sports Illustrated will be doing a (regional) cover story on just how much Garbage Dick has had to overcome this year on his way to being the league’s leading scorer and a Hart Trophy front runner. Because John McDonough is very good at his job, these events are not to be viewed as anything other than deliberate and connected.
And the purpose of it is potentially two-fold. At the very least, with any bureaucratic loose ends now tied up with the conclusion of the NHL’s farce of an investigation, which allows McDonough and Blunk to start building a ground game and controlling a narrative ahead of what they figure to be a bright and direct spotlight once again on this team into May and June. The second more stomach-churning purpose is for a potential Masterton Trophy nomination, the NHL’s perseverance award for which every team submits its candidate. It would be a tremendously nauseating and ballsy move on their part, considering recent winners include a widower, a bereaved father, and an MS sufferer. But John McDonough is known for big moves after all.
[extremely sportsy radio host voice]….just like tonight’s big rivalry night tilt in St. Louis between the Blues and Hawks!
Box Score
Event Summary
War on Ice
In what is in all likelihood their penultimate visit to Joe Louis Arena, the Hawks were able to take care of business with a revamped and still evolving forward group against a team that plays right into their strengths.
