Everything Else

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

After a piss-poor first, the Hawks piled on the offensively anemic Wild in the final 40. By all the metrics except the score and the save percentage, the Hawks had no business winning this game. Good thing they don’t let us fuckin’ nerds make the rules. To the bullets!

– Forty-six saves on 48 shots. Collin Delia had himself a hell of a night tonight. The Wild needed a man advantage to score both of their goals, and neither of them were his fault (they were Seabrook’s. More on that later.). The only real knock against him was his rebound control, especially early on, but he kept it clean when it mattered most. There’s no reason outside of injury or diarrhea that should keep Delia from starting Saturday, and unless he gets completely domed, he should also start the Winter Classic, if not for performance than because it would be a sin against God and the Irish not to start a guy who spells his name the brogueish “Collin” at Notre Dame. Again, 46 saves on 48 shots, and both goals required a man advantage.

– Kane got his hat trick, and man, that creep can roll. No one has evangelized for the Gustafsson–Kane connection harder than I have, and the reason was clear on Kane’s PP goal. It was a simple play—Toews wins the faceoff, Gus walks the line, Kane fires a one-timer short side—but it’s on the power play, which all of a sudden looks deadly.

Kane’s first goal was all him. When Gustafsson took the shot fake and skated around Kunin, I thought he had given himself a nice lane to take a decent shot. Then he fucking passed it. Normally, this would have been a bad pass and a missed opportunity. But Kane kicked the puck to his stick in traffic and flicked it by a porous and soon-to-be-pulled Devan Dubnyk. There are a handful of players who could have gotten a shot off on that pass, let alone scored, and Gus should thank his stars that Kane’s one of them.

Brandon Saad did a good deal of fucking tonight. His first goal took a bit of luck from Toews behind the net. After receiving a pass from Kahun—who himself was feisty tonight—Toews tried to thread one to Saad, and it ended up bouncing off of Zucker and straight to Saad. After last year’s unlucky debacle, it’s about time Saad got one to bounce his way here. His second goal came off a brilliant DeBrincat steal. With Stalock coming out of the goal to play the puck forward, DeBrincat batted his pass out of mid-air and swept it to a wide-open Saad, who sneezed it over the goal line. His 11+ CF% Rel was also best for third on the Hawks, behind Sikura and DeBrincat.

Dylan Strome had a ton of opportunities tonight that he just couldn’t cash in, but he was in all the right places. He’s got five points in his last two games, and one can only wonder how much more it could be if he had DeBrincat flanking him rather than Artie the Obelisk.

– It’s been a while since we’ve had to gripe about Brent Seabrook, mostly because Coach Cool Youth Pastor has hidden him as far away from meaningful time as possible. But tonight was different, though not necessarily by choice.

Seabrook was on the ice and out of position on both goals. On the first, the PK2 unit found itself stranded on the ice for 1:30. With about 15 seconds left, Granlund moved in on Seabrook at the far circle, forcing Seabrook to step up, which is not a phrase you want to hear outside of “Seabrook stepped up to cheer on Henri Jokiharju (FINLAND POINT) from the press box and got jalapeño stains on his suit.” Granlund then floated toward the top of the circle, opening up Seabrook on the inside, and hit Staal with a pass. Staal’s shot was blocked by Delia, but it allowed Staal and Parise time to set up behind the net. After playing catch, Staal swung behind the net for a wraparound, and Seabrook got caught between playing Staal behind the net and Parise in front. Seems like you’d want to cover the guy who’s in front of the net rather than behind it, but Seabrook’s hesitation allowed Staal to take the wraparound and Parise to sweep in the rebound.

On the second, Seabrook managed to screen his own goaltender and vacate the spot from which Staal scored. This one was a bit more excusable, given how quickly the play developed, but still not great. There’s not much we can do about it other than grumble, but when Seabrook and Keith were together, they got overwhelmed. No more of that.

Dominik Kahun was active all night, even though the stats show paltry evidence of it, aside from his secondary assist on Saad’s first goal. His best play of the night came about halfway through the second. Carl Dahlstrom broke on a rush, only to have the Hawks turn it over in the neutral zone. Murphy gummed up a 2-on-1, giving Kahun time to get back and lift Staal’s stick as he wound up for a pass from Zucker. It would have been a hard shot for Delia to stop, and Kahun prevented it all with strong stick work.

David Kampf was good on the PK tonight, logging just over four minutes. He was on the ice for the Wild’s not-really-a PP goal, but aside from that, he battened down the hatches. If he had just a bit of scoring touch, he probably would have had a goal too, as Kane hit him with a smooth drop pass (the good kind) and left him with a wide-open shot that Stalock denied.

– Though it’s a minor gripe, I’d like to see Sikura and Perlini switch back up. Neither was particularly noticeable tonight in their respective spots. It didn’t hurt, but it also didn’t help.

– Toews got his 400th assist tonight. Good on him. If anyone deserves a statue, it’s Toews.

In the first time in about 10,000 days, the Hawks had the tools to win a post-Christmas-break game. They’ll travel back to my backyard on Saturday, where the only excuse Colliton will have for not starting Delia will be because he ate the fattest edible known to man and took advice from drunk Patrick Roy. The Hawks are on a bit of a roll now, and if the shit fits, wear it.

Booze du Jour: Tin Cup

Line of the Night: “Have to get Forsling and Seabrook off the ice. They’re out of gas.” Eddie O., saying what we’re all saying.

Everything Else

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

One of the worst shows I have ever seen live was Beirut at the Aragon in, like, 2011–12. I showed up for the first half hour, got bored, and left. It’s no wonder this game felt so familiar, because that’s the exact tack the Hawks took with this eminently winnable game tonight. After a hot start, the Hawks got buried by their own incompetence, which is just another way of saying business as usual. Let’s do this quickly: We’ve all got Feats of Strength to finish, I’m sure.

– Coming into this game on a three-game winning streak and fresh off Collin Delia’s stoning of the most dangerous line in hockey, Jeremy Colliton decided to ride the Cam Ward wave. This is some true Galaxy Brain shit. On the one hand, complaining about Ward getting the start tonight probably has a bit of looking a gift horse in the mouth to it. Coming into this game, he had a .949 SV%. On the other, those two games came against a floundering and hurt Preds and an even more hurt Dallas team. Also, in case Ward spasming a couple good games had made you forget, Cam Ward is really a used-car-lot wavy-arm guy who moonlights as a goaltender.

Ward should have been pulled after the first goal. For reasons that can only be deciphered by true Brain Geniouses, Cam Ward came out to challenge Hawryluk after Hawryluk overpowered Dahlstrom/Dahlstrom lost his edge. Except after getting about halfway out, Ward flinched and tried to go back, leaving Hawryluk—a guy who has never scored an NHL goal—a yawning net to shoot at. I don’t have adequate words to describe what a shitshow this goal was because there’s no excuse for a 1,000-year veteran to do what Ward did. You wouldn’t see that in a fucking beer league—as Scott Foster once showed us—and yet, here we are.

Then, as if to retroactively adjust to completely losing his ass and crease on the first goal, Cam Ward turtled into the net on Hawryluk’s second goal. Huberdeau’s stretch pass between Keith and Gustafsson was art, and those two probably share part of the blame, but at no point did Ward look like an NHL goaltender on this attempt.

The third goal was more on Forsling than anyone—as Forsling totally froze as Hoffman stepped up after Toews pressured Weegar up top, giving Hoffman too much time to pick his spot, which happened to be the back of the net via Forsling’s groin—but that fourth goal was the result of a rebound that would have made Dennis Rodman blush. And the fifth goal, because fifth goals are things we talk about when Cam Ward starts, was a simple short-side snipe that an NHL-caliber goalie probably puts some leather on. But alas, Cam Ward is not an NHL-caliber goalie.

Jeremy Colliton has done a lot right lately. Starting Cam Ward tonight is decidedly not one of them. Fucking ride Delia until he gives you a reason not to. Starting Cam Ward doesn’t do anything for this team.

Dylan Strome is officially good. You can mark it down. His assist on Our Large Irish Son’s first goal of the year was a clinic in vision and patience. After stealing the puck at the offensive blue line, Strome set up behind the net off a Perlini pass, waiting for help. Murphy crashed, Strome fed him, and the rest is history. But the patience and nerve Strome showed behind the net was otherworldly. Strome had another steal around the same spot in the second, which led to two high-quality chances from Kane. He capped his night off with a goal off a Kane pass. Strome was the most impressive forward of the night, and it looks like the Hawks really have their #2 center in him.

– Our Sweet Boy Connor Murphy also had himself a night. You saw the goal he scored, which was a testament to his positioning and sneaky good wrister. Murphy played a big role in the Hawks’s third goal, leading the rush off a good Forsling outlet pass and grabbing the secondary assist on Strome’s goal. He also led the Hawks in even-strength TOI, led all Hawks D-men with a 51+ CF% at 5v5, and did it mostly against the Huberdeau–Barkov–Dadonov line. On top of all that, Murphy looked much more comfortable with the puck in his exits, which was a weak point in his game last year. Between Strome and Murphy, there’s a lot to hope for regarding the future.

– Here’s your gamely “Alex DeBrincat is not a third liner” alert. His goal was a bit flukey, as he was trying to pass to Kane through the slot and had the good fortune of sweeping in a pinballing puck, but a goal’s a goal. As much as we’d like to see him flip with Anisimov, he’s still making shit work where he’s at.

– Regardless of what Colliton ends up being, it looks like he might go down as the guy who fixed the power play. The top unit of Gus at QB; Strome in front; and Top Cat, Toews, Kane across has looked legitimately dangerous when it’s out there and Gus and Kane can be bothered to give a shit. It scored again due to Toews’s roving and retrieval and the movement Kane, Gus, and Top Cat show up top. It’s probably way too early to pronounce the PP truly fixed, but when’s the last time you looked forward to the PP?

– Just a quick reminder that Cam Ward sucks and we could have had Delia in net, who likely stops at least three of the five Ward allowed tonight.

Dylan Sikura and Brendan Perlini led all Hawks in CF% tonight, with shares above 70. Perlini is going to be frustrating, as he’s big, fast, and has no finish, as evidenced again tonight with his janking of a shot toward a wide-open net early in the Hawks’s first PP. Sikura’s no savior, but he’s good on the third line.

Carl Dahlstrom ended up in Coach Cool Youth Pastor’s doghouse tonight, spending the latter part of the game with Seabrook. You can maybe partially blame him for the first goal. But other than that, I’m not sure what else he did noticeably poorly. He and Murphy didn’t have the best game together, as Murphy’s peripherals spiked away from Dahlstrom, but I’m not sure what triggered Colliton to switch them up.

– Saad and Toews looked good in the first, then got completely horsed for the rest of the game. Erik Gustafsson also flashed evidence that he has a Give-a-Shit meter, and it was hovering around zero for the last two periods.  You can trace much of the loss to these facts, along with the fact that Cam Ward blows.

It wasn’t all bad, but it certainly wasn’t good. The Hawks will get a few days off before welcoming the Minnesota Mild to the UC on Thursday. Until then, stay toasty and toasted. Merry Whatever You Celebrate.

Beer du Jour: Miller High Life and Death Wish Coffee

Line of the Night: “It’s tough waking up and seeing how ugly I am now. I knew I didn’t have the looks before, but this doesn’t help.” –Connor Murphy explaining to Steve Konroyd how he felt after the Tyler Pitlick elbow.

Everything Else

The Hawks played well tonight…I’m struggling to believe I typed those words…they played better than a team that is demonstrably more talented and a legitimate Cup contender or at least conference finalist…and so I will try to make sense of this. To the bullets:

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

– Right out of the gate, the Hawks had a step on the Predators. Maybe this is a consequence of the Preds being on the second night of a back-to-back. You wouldn’t think that would necessarily be the case, given that Nashville is just plain better but whatever. I don’t know and I don’t care. In particular the top line had a number of quality chances and good puck movement early on, and the second line was right there with them. By the end of the second period the Hawks led in shots 28-18, and they had a 57 and 58 CF% respectively in the first two periods. They were faster to the puck, defensively competent, and they even scored a power play goal. A power play goal, guys! I don’t even know what to say!

– Related to the whole top-line-playing-well-thing is Brandon Saad, who once again had an excellent night. He ended the night with 4 shots and 56.7 CF%. In fact he had three shots on goal barely more than 5 minutes into the game. No, he didn’t score so there was a lack of finish, let’s just get that out of the way, but he played an effective two-way game all night. He was robbed via a desperation play on a short-handed breakaway that happened because he just wanted the puck more, Rinne made an outstanding save on his point-blank chance mid-way through the third, and defensively he was spot on. Saad may not have scored but his play directly impacted the Hawks’ possession and chances. If he can keep this up I won’t even bitch about him not scoring.

– Speaking of defense, that which usually scorches your face and melts your eyeballs like the opening of the Ark of the Covenant did not do that tonight. Connor Murphy and Carl Dahlstrom are just a random pairing that’s making it work somehow. They had a 57 CF% and looked, well, competent, including the final two-minute scrum when Rinne was pulled. I even saw Duncan Keith make a couple good plays to clear the puck out of the zone. Oh, and our defensemen did the scoring. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there is this thing called the Fels Motherfuck, and it’s real and it’s a force to be reckoned with. Tonight Gustav Forsling was the embodiment, and after sucking out loud he potted one past Rinne who had been unflappable to that point. And then Cowboy Gustafsson had the aforementioned unicorn, a power play goal. Up is down, black is white.

Cam Ward isn’t better than Pekka Rinne, and that’s evidenced by the shots Rinne stopped tonight, including some excellent chances by Saad in particular but also Kane and a bunch of the other schlubs. Ward also gave up a fairly weak goal in the last minute of the first period after the Hawks had played really well, and I was honestly convinced that would be the end and the Hawks would shit the bed as soon as the second started. But tonight Ward WAS better. He is not objectively a better goalie but at least in this one instance, where it was clear Rinne was going to fuck us over, he was. Of course this means Collin Delia and his superfluous L will not get the chance he deserves (at least not for now), but fuck it, it’s a win.

– The second line of Strome-Anisimov-Kane was not as bad as I expected it to be. Before I go any further, do NOT take this as an endorsement of this being a line! I’m just saying that I expected a dumpster fire and instead for some reason Patrick Kane‘s give-a-shit meter was higher than usual tonight. He and Strome had multiple good sequences with shots and puck movement in the slot, from the circles, near the crease, everywhere you want them to be. Kane bulldozed over Anisimov in the first when his slow ass couldn’t get out of the way, and Anisimov was perennially a step behind his two linemates, but he wasn’t as much of a liability as he could have been. I still think that DeBrincat-Strome-Kane is as clear to see as the bulbous nose on Barry Smith‘s face, but at least tonight this worked.

– I won’t dwell here but Ryan Hartman should have gotten an elbowing penalty for embedding Marcus Kruger‘s mask into his face. No he didn’t jut his elbow into Kruger, but when he saw Kruger coming, Hartman definitely positioned it in such a way that Kruger would have to run into it. It’s kind of like an older sibling asking why you won’t stop punching yourself. Hopefully Kruger is OK soon enough.

The Hawks beat a better team in their division and did so in regulation, by holding onto a one-goal lead. I said it before but I have to reiterate—I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence. Does this mean the season is saved? Absolutely not. But it does mean that maybe they’re not an irredeemable mess EVERY night. We’ll take whatever breaks we can get, wherever we can get them. Onward and upward.

 

 

Everything Else

By all accounts, the Hawks had no business even being in this game. The Jets should be asking themselves tough questions about why this was as close as it was, although in the end their talent level was enough to let them do what good teams are supposed to do (i.e., beat shitty teams). The start of another losing streak? At least it has the qualifier of being an overtime loss. Let’s get to the bullets:

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

– Through the first two periods, this was honestly a game. Out of the gate the Hawks were fast, they were getting sticks in passing lanes at least a little bit, and they led in possession. Crawford gave up a power play goal to Mark Scheifele but it was off a ridiculously good pass from Blake Wheeler (basically the embodiment of what Fels talked about earlier today), and you could only tip your cap. And they ended the first tied at 1 thanks to Jonathan Toews‘ last-second goal, which also came from a great feed, this time from Saad to Keith to Toews. It was reminiscent of days past. Then Saad and Toews did it again in the second and the Hawks were leading…it was disconcerting, and while they played well they were by no means dominant.

– And that became apparent in the second when Patrik Laine just conjured a goal into being because he felt like it. This guy is insane, seriously. But fine, he’s too good for a team like the Hawks to thwart all night. The problem was later in the second when Mathieu Perreault was able to hop out of the penalty box and waltz in for a goal alone on Crawford. Granted, Crawford should have had that one but the power play preceding it was rather clown shoes and the Hawks couldn’t get set up well or hold onto the puck (obviously). And for the record, Pat and Eddie kept saying it was a short-handed goal and it was NOT SHORT HANDED WHEN THE GUY IN THE BOX SCORED. This is not rocket science—if the guy in the box scores then he is no longer in the box for the penalty that put him there. I just need someone to know this.

– Anyway, after that the Hawks pretty much deflated like a sad balloon. In the third they took repeated penalties and ended up down a man, and even when they finally had a power play themselves, John Hayden high-sticked Tyler Myers and they were right back where they started. They managed a pitiful 32 CF% in the third. But then…

–…Gustafsson gave them their second last-ditch goal of the night, tying it up with less than 10 seconds left, just as Toews had done in the first. You could tell Brossoit was pissed, and in the end he had nothing to worry about because the Hawks quickly coughed up the winning goal shortly into OT. But we got a point! We almost snuck one away from a far superior team! That’s now two games that HAVEN’T been regulation losses so…baby steps?

– Another positive: Brandon Saad had an excellent game. Defensively he looked good, like when he stopped Kulikov in the second and then took it down the ice for a nice opportunity, and he had two assists on the night. Add to that three shots, and he had a 54 and 58 CF% with Toews and Kahun respectively. We’re finding rays of hope wherever we can.

– The defense had its moments but also managed to be quite wobbly at times. Connor Murphy and Carl Dahlstrom were way underwater in possession, but there was Dahlstrom out against the Jets’ top line because why the fuck not? Duncan Keith on the other hand played well, looking like his old self at times. Except for when he was just standing around in OT watching Scheifele have his way with the puck and Crawford. Again, baby steps with a sort-of functioning defense at times, but there are still real fundamental problems here. At least we didn’t have to watch Brandon Manning.

– Jonathan Toews is continuing to play well and that’s nice. Alex DeBrincat did not continue his recent streak of playing well and that’s disappointing. Tonight his line managed barely over a 40 CF%, he only had one shot, plus he got picked on by Dustin Byfuglien being an asshole and running him over (that’s not Top Cat’s fault, it’s just the way things were going for him tonight). I know, he had two goals in his last two games, so give the guy a break. He just didn’t have it tonight and they could have used the help.

So it almost feels like a win to get even a point out of this game, when the Jets really should have brained these fools. The death march continues with four more games in the next week, against a lot more divisional opponents (i.e., good teams mostly). These last two have at least been watchable…onward and upward.

Everything Else

 vs 

Game Time: 6:00PM CST
TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, NHL Network, WGN-AM 720
Alberta Clipper: Matchsticks & Gasoline, Flames Nation

As this Blackhawks season quickly spirals into the separating asshole of mutual acrimony and defeat, every successive game is both an opportunity to right the ship, and also one to finally make the breakthrough into Fun Bad. And the schedule certainly has conspired to make the latter more likely with the Flames in town tonight on West Madison.

Everything Else

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

Through the first four minutes, this game had all the feel of a sudden onset of diarrhea after your morning shower, punctuated by slipping off the toilet seat because you didn’t have time to dry your ass off. While things got marginally better and there were some bright spots, the song remains the same: a flaccid start and a broken heart at the end of it all. Let’s clean it up.

– We don’t condone fighting usually. We get red and nude when anyone in the broadcast booth starts alluding to physicality and barbaric dickery (more on that later). But it’s not hard to understand Duncan Keith completely losing his goddamn mind and assaulting Miikka “I let a cat walking across the keyboard name me” Salomaki early in the first. It was a blindside hit along the boards. I’m sure people will try to argue that the hit came from the side and THIS IS HOCKEY and all that happy horse shit. Those people are wrong, and the Venn diagram of people who defend that hit and who own more than zero piss-yellow Mike Ribeiro sweaters is the same fucking circle.

Along the boards at an angle that Linda Blair would have had a hard time twisting to see, let alone Keith playing the puck, is inexcusable. I’m not going to defend Keith trying to piledrive Salomaki and getting the match penalty for it, but I sure understand it. There aren’t many good tit-for-tat arguments, but if you wanted to make one for Keith after the no call, I’m open to it.

Gustav Forsling is still only 22, and he missed a good portion of last year to injury. But with each game, it gets harder and harder to figure out how he fits in among a D-corps that you couldn’t trade for a cup of coffee along with the two dollars in your pocket. When he’s not getting overpowered (by Ryan Johansen on Goal 1 and Kevin Fiala on Goal 3), he’s freezing up in his own zone (Craig Smith, Goal 4). His vision is questionable at best, and are we really sure he has the skill to be the breakout D-man we thought he was? At this point, you let him shit his pants, dive in, and swim, but you wonder if the clock is starting to tick on whether he’s a guy they keep long term.

– A quick word on Erik Gustafsson: You might be able to capitalize on whatever offensive potential he has when Connor Murphy gets back. Maybe. But he’s just as bad as Forsling in his own zone, if not worse. You’d excuse that if he’s a point per game D-man, but he’s playing more like an eleven-year-old with a mustache who thinks running head first into a wall is a good way to impress girls.

– There were some positives here. Brandon Manning was by far the best D-man the Hawks had out there tonight. All of his metrics flesh it out: He had a 55+ straight CF%, a 51+ CF% SVA (score and venue adjusted), and contributed offensively. His assist on Artem Anisimov’s goal was flat-out gorgeous, splitting traffic in the slot and allowing Wide Dick to just be there. He also hit the crossbar off a Henri Jokiharju rebound in the second. You hope that this kind of play continues from Manning, because he’s exactly the kind of guy you can trade for a young flyer or mid-round draft pick later down the line.

Brent Seabrook flashed some of the old style of play too. Outside of his terrible turnover that led to the Preds’s second goal, he was, for lack of a better word, crafty with the puck. He nearly set up David Kampf with a semi-breakaway off an area pass, and managed to juke Roman Josi out of his skates with a fake shot in the third, which led to a quality chance for Dylan Strome off a Forsling point shot rebound.

Brandon Saad—who has more goals than Artemi Panarin on the year, thanks—did that voodoo that he do so well again. When Saad gets a full of head of steam along the boards, there aren’t many people who can stop him. And he managed to overpower both Ryan Ellis and Pekka Rinne on his goal, swatting his own attempt out of mid-air. Anyone who doesn’t want to admit that Brandon Saad fucks is a jerk.

– I don’t want to see Alex DeBrincat fighting. In the moment, it’s fun, but let’s not make that a thing in the future.

– We rag on the broadcast for falling back into the MORE PHYSICAL trope all the time. And while Eddie was guilty of it a few times tonight, nothing was quite as weird as Steve Konroyd after the first intermission. I get being mad about the Keith hit, but Konroyd went so far as to say that a guy like John Hayden should “go after one of Nashville’s smaller guys” to “help bring them [the Hawks] together.” Motherfucker even acknowledged that “that may not be right” and called his own idea “kinda barbaric,” then proceeded to justify it as something to bring the team together. It may not seem like anything more than Konroyd tossing meat to the worst kinds of hockey fans, but this kind of mind-set contributes to guys like Tom Wilson constantly having the chance at gainful employment in the NHL. It’s fucking gross to imply that someone should put a horseshit hit on an opponent as a team-building exercise. Stuff your mouth with my dog’s fart blanket with that suggestion, Stevie K.

The Hawks get a heaping helping of mulligan stew with a tilt against Calgary tomorrow. If they play anything like they did in the second period tonight, it’ll be fun. But at this point, any wins the Hawks get should be considered gravy, because even if the brain geniouses in the front office won’t admit it, this team is in rebuild mode.

Onward. . .

Booze du Jour: Four Roses and Eagle Rare

Line of the Night: “The Mute Lounge was conceived for nights just like this one.” –Matt McClure

Everything Else

It’s time yet again to look at the good, the bad, and the mildly disappointing as the Hawks return from their East Coast swing during this now-finished Thanksgiving week…

The Dizzying Highs

Brandon Saad: I’m honestly not sure that anyone deserves to be considered a “dizzying high” right now, but someone has to be in this part of the post so fine, let it be Brandon Saad. Again. That’s right—Saad has been atop this pile for two weeks in a row. Yes, there were issues with the nuclear option of him, Toews, and Kane on a line, namely being on the ice for multiple Lightning goals on Friday, yet his performance Saturday was enough to overcome that. The gorgeous pass to Kane in the second, the equally if not better one to Alex DeBrincat to save the game in dramatic fashion…this man fucks, my frents. Five points in his last five games, hell, he even made John Hayden look good last Saturday. As of this writing, his shooting percentage is a career-high 13.5, and despite all the line drama he’s still managing a 55.1 CF%, currently third-best on the team. He fucks.

The Terrifying Lows

Marcus Kruger. Of all the players brought back from the dead by this team, Marcus Kruger was the only one I was actually happy to see return. But I have to admit he’s been awfully quiet lately. No one expects a fourth-line scoring juggernaut, but the problem is he’s not really succeeding at the role he’s here to play. He’s got the third-highest PK minutes on the team, yet his CF Rel on the kill is -7.8. I know, it’s the penalty kill, obviously the other team is more likely to score, but for reference, Seabrook’s PK CF Rel is 6.3, and the stat for Brandon fucking Manning, who only has six fewer seconds of PK time than Kruger, is 12.5. No, there’s no minus sign in front of that. Kruger’s possession numbers at evens are troubling too—a career-worst 46.6 CF% right now. Granted, just over 80% of his starts are in the defensive zone, but he’s had similar start numbers in years past and finished closer to or above 50%. Besides, taking a shitload of defensive zone starts and holding onto the puck anyway is his actual job description. Maybe he needs confidence. Maybe he needs better linemates than oafs like Andreas Martinsen (well, he definitely needs that regardless of any numbers). Whatever it is, I hope it’s temporary.

The Creamy Middles

Alexandre Fortin. My earnest little Fortnite has had an interesting week or so. His short-handed goal against the Panthers was darling and gave the Hawks some much-needed hope in a game that was looking like a puke stain meant to be hidden under a rug or cleverly placed piece of furniture (no I’m not speaking from experience, why would you even say that?). Conversely, his broken stick against the Lightning, while not entirely his fault, was emblematic of his enthusiasm yet lack of finish. Still, Fortin is sporting a positive Corsi (52.8 at evens) with a little over half his starts coming in the defensive zone. And, he’s been fast on whatever line he finds himself on—with fellow children Kampf and Kahun, or bouncing around with whatever Scrabble letters Colliton comes up with on a given night. He’s still just a speedy bottom-six guy, but we’ll take all the help we can get.

Everything Else

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

Sometimes hockey is just bad, stupid fun and there’s hardly a rhyme or reason. The Hawks put up a fight when it mattered most, and with some much-missed puck luck, they managed to pull out two points in a game in which they didn’t deserve one. To the bullets.

Brandon Saad was a wild stallion from just about front to back. On the first game-tying goal, he used that straight-line power we all crave to carve up Mike Matheson and managed to squeeze a pass onto Kane’s stick perfectly, despite pressure from Aaron Ekblad and Evgenii Dadonov. His semi-blind pass from behind the net onto DeBrincat’s stick for the second game-tying goal resulted from better positioning and a bit more power against Dadonov below the goal line. And he almost potted one himself after John Hayden’s squib pass found his stick in the blue paint late in the third. Saad came to life in the third period especially, much like the rest of the Hawks, and sported a 77+ CF% when paired with Hayden and Jonathan Toews. When Brandon Saad fucks, Brandon Saad fucks.

– It wasn’t until the third period that the Hawks made any real rumblings at making this a game. Despite tying it in the second, the Hawks had a 27+ CF% through two. But after Colliton switched up the lines, broke up 20–19–88, and re-paired Duncan Keith and Henri Jokiharju, the Hawks completely dominated play to the tune of a 75 CF% in the third. We all get the theory behind 20–19–88, but they simply haven’t dominated together. Your nuclear line can’t really be considered nuclear when it gets domed on the ice. After the break up, you saw much evener fluidity in passing.

– The only line that stayed together all night was Nick SchmaltzDavid KampfDominik Kahun, and they were mostly decent. After the first period, I wondered what exactly Kampf was doing to warrant second-line center minutes. Then he pulled that incredible power move on Ekblad off a Kahun feed, which is something I don’t think any of us expected he could do. It was nice to see a higher level in Kampf’s play, and if there’s more of that in reserve, we’ve got an interesting guy on our hands. It’s still concerning that Kampf and Kahun were much more noticeable than Schmaltz, the supposed $6 million man, but I’ll gladly take what they gave tonight. You can hear the contempt in Foley’s voice any time Schmaltz does anything out there now, though.

Alexandre Fortin is as close to a Luis Mendoza as the Hawks will ever have. I don’t know that he does anything other than go really fast in a straight line and find himself in the middle of all on-ice whimsy. After an excellent pick off Nick Bjugstad’s stick while Bjugstad attempted to set up a PP rush, Fortin got stuffed by James Reimer’s right pad, only to flick the puck by Reimer off his left skate as he was coming down from a jump. He’s got no normal finish whatsoever, but his PK trick shot tonight would have been the highlight even if the Hawks hadn’t won.

– The coverage this team has on defense is by far some of the worst we’ve seen in a while. Eddie O. took a good five minutes in the pregame to defend the system, instead blaming a lack of awareness from players for the A+ chances they give up. I get that, but this looks a lot like a chicken-egg argument. Even when the Hawks were bad last year, I don’t remember seeing as many opponents streaking full steam ahead through the slot as I have in the last two games. Florida’s second goal came when Fortin and Hayden inexplicably shadowed Colton Sceviour on the near boards, even though Jokiharju had him covered. This left Jared McCann all the time and space in the world in the slot. Their third goal came from Kane trying to cheat out of the zone, leaving Ekblad wide open in the slot. Whether it’s adjustment to a new system or a lack of talent within that system (or both), it’s made for many more high-quality chances for Hawks’s opponents.

Erik Gustafsson taketh away, and Erik Gustafsson giveth. After a mostly dogshit day, including letting his aggressiveness get the best of him and setting up Florida’s second goal after crashing too quickly and deeply by himself, Gustafsson popped the game winner in the clown show.

– For the last goddamn time, Alex DeBrincat is not a fucking third liner. We’ve done this experiment too many times over the last two years. You stick him with one of Kane, Toews, or Saad, and you let him fucking go. It’s not hard.

The Hawks had no business taking two tonight, which makes those points all the sweeter. Las Vegas is next.

Onward. . .

Beer du Jour: Eagle Rare

Line of the Night: “Unfortunately, Manning took the ice.” –Eddie O. describing a turnover between Brandon Manning and Alex DeBrincat as a result of the two being too close together.

Everything Else

  vs.

RECORDS: Panthers 8-9-3   Hawks 8-10-5

PUCK DROP: 6:00 p.m. Central

TV: NBCSCH

Lift and Sift: Panther Parkway, Litter Box Cats

If all you ever read were press releases and interviews with front offices in denial, tonight’s tilt between the Panthers and Hawks would be as must-see as a hockey game at six o’clock on the Saturday after Thanksgiving could possibly be. We’ve gone over the tipped-over porta-potty that is John McDonough’s “remodel, not rebuild” philosophy for the Hawks, and the Panthers seem to find themselves in a similar mind-set for different reasons.

Since that 103-point campaign and first-round playoff loss in 2015–16, the Cats have missed the playoffs twice, though last year was by the skin of their ass. Yet, you can’t help but wonder what this Panthers team would look like if they hadn’t gone Biff Tannen and replaced their analytically minded front office with HOCKEY MEN. This year has been even worse than expected for the Panthers, and after a 2-4 road trip, they return home to host the Hawks much worse for wear.

In the crease, the Panthers made the superb decision to entrust 39-year-old Roberto Luongo with the bulk of the starting responsibilities. Bobby Lu has been hurt a lot more than not, but even when he’s been healthy, he’s been wildly inconsistent. In his first four games back from his opening-night knee injury, Luongo posted a sparkling .951 SV%. He then followed that up with a .826 over the next four, good for a .902 overall. Not great, Bob.

And he hurt himself again last night, leaving James Reimer in charge of the crease. James Reimer is not someone you want in charge of the crease if you have playoff aspirations. While his .920 at evens is good, Reimer has gotten hosed on the PK to the tune of .791. The Panthers have given up the sixth-most goals on the PK despite playing the least amount of PK time in the league this year.

On the forward lines, there’s some on-paper potential for the Panthers that can never seem to get over the hump. After brain genius Dale Tallon cut Jonathan Marchessault loose for literally nothing last year, he had to go out and find himself a new scorer in Mike Hoffman. Despite the high school drama that brought him to Florida, Hoffman has been the Panthers’s most consistent offensive weapon, with 20 points on the year (10 G, 10 A) through 20 games and a recently ended 17-game point streak. He, Aleksander Barkov, and Evgenii Dadonov round out a formidable top line despite their lack of possession as a unit (48+ CF% together).

After that top line, things start to get dicey. The Panthers lost the well-rounded Vincent Trocheck earlier in the week after his ankle took the road less traveled. Trocheck did a bit of everything for the Cats and played consistently on both the PP and PK in his 18 games. That leaves you with a second line of Nick Bjugstad, the talented Jonathan Huberdeau, and, fuck, Denis Malgin? Frank Vatrano? Any of these names doing anything for you?

After that is a veritable who’s-who of what ifs, maybes, and retreads. Jared McCann has a ton of two-way potential, but tends to defer. He might end up tossed onto the second line to fill in for Trocheck at some point. Troy Brouwer plays on this team. The fourth line includes the name-generated Dryden Hunt and Colton Sceviour, who are both fine and perfectly suited where they are, but don’t really provide the much-needed scoring Florida lacks beyond the top line.

The Cats’s blue line hinges on Aaron Ekblad, who turns the ice at a 53+ CF% despite a 47+% oZ start rate. He’s done it primarily next to Mike Matheson, who after a slow and plodding start to the first year of his eight-year, $39 million contract has turned up his offensive contributions, with five points in his last five games (all assists). Still, Keith Yandle takes the mantle as the Cats’s most offensive D-man, with 19 points over 20 games. After that, you’ve got Alex Petrovic—who is definitely “a guy,”—fucking Bogdan Kiselevich, something called Mark Pysyk, and young MacKenzie Weegar, who looks exactly how you’d imagine a guy named “MacKenzie Weegar” would. That’s a whole lot of #6 D-men spread across that blue line.

For the Men of Four Feathers, Colliton ought to consider kicking his Marlboro 72 habit before New Year’s, because Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook have looked like dogshit together. Though there’s not much to work with on the blue line—remember when Brandon Manning was StanBo’s BIG DEFENSIVE SIGNING?—the one thing that seemed to work best was Keith–Jokiharju. Keith might not want to play mentor, but too fucking bad. Henri Jokiharju the best thing they have, so Colliton needs to put the kibosh on his “We’re sitting him for his development” bit and let him breathe. Erik Gustafsson’s spurs have been jingling and jangling far too often, Gustav Forsling still looks lost in this own zone, and Jan Rutta blows. So fuck, I don’t know, 2–28, 56–7, 42–44? Somehow, it looks even worse when you write it down.

You probably won’t see too many changes up front, though we probably should. Brandon SaadJonathan ToewsPatrick Kane sounds nice, but the chorus we’ve been singing is “If they aren’t dominating, split them up,” and after last night, it would be hard to describe them as dominant. We’re still waiting to see 12–8–88 at some point, and what better time than tonight? The FortinKampfKahun line is at least fast, but you’re tempted to see Anisimov centering it and just having Fortin and Kahun aim for him instead of the net. Suckbag Johnson, Chris Kunitz, Andreas Martinsen, or John Hayden will round it out on the fourth line because someone has to.

You figure Cam Ward gets the nod tonight after Corey Crawford chose to finish out last night’s game rather than sit after the first.

With the Blackhawks in the denial stage and the Panthers teetering toward anger, this game will be a case study in grief. With Reimer in net and Trocheck out, the Panthers look eminently beatable if the Hawks can shut down their top line.

Let’s go Hawks.

Game #24 Preview Suite

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

I don’t know what the hell the Hawks were doing at the beginning of the game, but a slow start pretty much screwed them. They followed that up with a lot of dumb penalties, making life harder for themselves, but had it not been for some abject stupidity right after puck drop we may have had a game. Oh, and Michal Kempny exacted his revenge, that did it too. To the bullets:

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

– Of course it was Tom fucking Wilson taking advantage of the Hawks looking drunk and clueless at the start of the first. Of course it was. And not only did this anthropomorphized turd score less than a minute in, he also made sure to barrel over Crawford and knee him in the head. Fuck Tom Wilson. The fact that he’s even playing right now is an affront to decency. This league is a toilet.

– Something ridiculous happened to me the other day: I walked into an elevator at my office building, the lone dude who had been in it walked off said elevator, and as I went in, pressed the button and breathed, the smell of fart was unmistakable. As the doors closed he looked fearfully over his shoulder and definitely saw my twisted, disgusted face looking back at him with an “I know what you did!” expression. The Hawks were that guy in the first period. They laid a huge fart, and then tried to coolly walk away pretending like nobody noticed. Once the first couple minutes were over and Andre Burakovsky made it 2-0 with a power play goal, the Hawks pulled it together and got a flurry of shots on goal (after having none for about half the period). They ended up only slightly underwater in possession (47.5 CF%, all day not just evens), which was quite the accomplishment given the way it started. And yet just when it seemed like they were bouncing back, Saad high-sticked Nicklas Backstrom, which inexplicably was called an elbow, and inexplicably was argued by both Saad and Toews. Whatever.

– I’m dismissive of that silliness because Brandon Saad continued his resurgence with his third goal in as many games. It was a beautiful move just de-pantsing Orlov about mid-way through the second period. At that point the Hawks were down 3-0 so not only was it great to see Saad doing what we’ve been waiting for him to do (and consistently), but it briefly gave us, and the Hawks, some hope. And that was the mistake.

– You know how it was 3-0 when Saad scored? That’s because Michal Kempny got his first goal of the year against the Hawks. And later, in the third, he made a great play in the neutral zone to prevent a breakaway (by Anisimov who would have tripped over his own dick anyway but that’s beside the point), and it led immediately to the fourth goal, effectively ending the Hawks chances at making it a game. Well, they had in fact made it a game with Gustafsson’s goal in the third, but Smith-Pelly’s just moments later, thanks to Kempny’s defensive prowess, crushed the Hawks. And I can’t even be mad at him for it.

– This isn’t a hot take, but jeebus the Hawks are top heavy when it comes to offense. The Saad-Toews-Kane line led all four lines with eight shots, and they had over a 60 CF% at evens. Loading up on the top line isn’t necessarily wrong—it just underlines how empty the rest of the offense is. On the bright side, the second line of Schmaltz-Anisimov-DeBrincat generated the pass that led to Gustafsson’s goal, so at least Wide Dick and Nick Schmaltz got assists.

– And that’s good for Schmaltz because, if the broadcast is a reflection of the company line, then the organ-I-zation hates him these days. I know it’s a little conspiracy-theorist of me, but Eddie has been unrelentingly bad-mouthing Schmaltz these last few games which just makes me think they’re priming the ground for getting rid of him. It’s no secret Schmaltz has been struggling lately, with only nine points on the season so far. Yet seven of those points came when he was on the ice with Patrick Kane, so the source of the drought seems to clearly be sticking him on the wing and on a line without a top scorer where he (Schmaltz) can be a playmaker. I get why Colliton is going with Toews and Kane on a line, and the change doesn’t absolve Schmaltz of all responsibility for generating SOMETHING on offense. But the ire over Schmaltz from the broadcast really needs to be put in perspective, and unless they can package him as part of a season-changing deal, launching a young guy out of frustration is probably not the ideal move here.

– The power play still sucks. In case you were wondering.

We shouldn’t be all that surprised that the current Stanley Cup champions beat this group of schlubs, even if those champions are still drunk from the summer. But still, the sloppy start is maddening, and for a team with talent issues like the Hawks, having to dig yourself out of a hole basically as soon as the game starts just isn’t acceptable. And now it’s on to an even better team in the Lightning. Just get drunk and the weekend will go by in a blur. Onward and upward.

Beer: Totally Naked by New Glarus, followed by Myrcenary from Odell when I really needed a higher alcohol content.

Line of the Night: “Here’s your so-called second line…” —Foley throwing shade at Schmaltz, and Wide Dick and Top Cat by association.

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune