Hockey

It’s Just Like Holding Two Shake Weights – Hawks Beat Canada Twice, Lose To St. Louis

By Andy Jonathan February 16, 2022

A successful, if unspectacular stretch of games for the Hawks this Valentines’ week as they were able to bookend two wins in Canada with an absolute turd of an effort down in The Lou for the middle frame. During all of this actual hockey being played (how many people were actually playing attention with the […]

Hockey

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Season To Stop Sniffing Glue – Oilers, Blues and Jets Preview

By Andy Jonathan February 9, 2022

After Rocky’s pants-shitting at the town hall the other day, my give-a-shit level about this team has reached “Patrick Kane in Late February” territory. Yet still here I am writing about them, so I don’t quite know if that says more about me than Rocky but whatever. Some hockey is better than none I suppose. […]

Hockey

Game #59 – Hawks vs. Jets (Again) Preview: Sundays Are For Peg’ing…Again

By Sam Fels February 16, 2020 0

vs. RECORDS: Hawks 26-24-8   Jets 29-25-5 PUCK DROP: 7:30pm TV: NBCSN Chicago SEARCHING FOR AN AIRPORT: Jets Nation In the brilliant scheduling genius of the NHL, the Hawks will spend a second consecutive Sunday in Winnipeg, after having to bus in from Calgary last night because y’know, there’s no airport in Winnipeg. Once again, as […]

Hockey

Game #59 – Hawks vs. Jets (Again) Spotlight: How To Fall Upwards

By Sam Fels February 16, 2020 0

Friends, you’ve probably been frustrated at some point watching some moron you work with get a promotion you were sure you were more qualified for, or even just a promotion you know they had no business getting. Or perhaps you just watch things in society and wonder how someone you’re sure can’t tie their shoes […]

Hockey

Game #59 – Hawks vs. Jets (Again): Hedley Lamarr’s Nitwits, Halfwits, And Dimwits

By Sam Fels February 16, 2020 0

Patrik Laine – All jokes about how he looks like he’d ask you three questions to let you cross his bridge, the Jets have bent over backwards for this guy in recent years and he’s pretty much just been a floater. They listened to him bitch incessantly last year about playing on the second line. So […]

Hockey

Game #55: Hawks 2, Jets 5 – Despite There Being No Airport in Winnipeg, The Blackhawks Crashed

By Adam Hess February 9, 2020 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick You guys, I’m telling you, I keep trying not to be too cynical/skeptical about this Blackhawks team. I keep wanting their little runs of success to be legitimate, wanting Coach Cool Youth Pastor’s system to finally be effective, wanting the blue line to overperform their on-paper skill, wanting Erik Gustafsson […]

Hockey

Game #55 – Hawks vs. Jets Preview: Sundays Are For Peg’ing

By Sam Fels February 9, 2020 0

vs. RECORDS: Hawks 25-21-8   Jets 28-23-5 PUCK DROP: 6pm TV: NBCSN Chicago QUEEN ELIZABETH IN THEIR LIVING ROOM: Jetsnation.ca It’s at points like these that you can understand Jonathan Toews’s frustration with the schedule of the NHL. There’s no logical reason that instead of spending consecutive Sundays in Winnipeg, with having to swing out to […]

Hockey

Game #55 – Hawks vs Jets Spotlight: Ehlers Choice

By Sam Fels February 9, 2020 0

We’ve perhaps, although maybe this is just our tendency to toot our own horn, led the charge on labeling Patrik Laine a passenger on the Jets. This will be the third straight season, likely, that he won’t live up to that 44-goal campaign he had. They’ve bent their team around him, they’ve given him a […]

Hockey

Game #55 – Hawks vs. Jets: Hedley Lamarr’s Nitwits, Halfwits, And Dimwits

By Sam Fels February 9, 2020 0

Patrik Laine – All jokes about how he looks like he’d ask you three questions to let you cross his bridge, the Jets have bent over backwards for this guy in recent years and he’s pretty much just been a floater. They listened to him bitch incessantly last year about playing on the second line. So […]

Hockey

Game #50 – Jets 2, Hawks 5:

By Sam Fels January 19, 2020 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Funny, on a night when the Hawks finally defeated a direct competitor for the playoffs, it won’t even grab the headlines. And maybe that’s the way they want it. They’ll have to do it more than a few more times between here and April, but every journey begins with one […]