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Game #61 – Senators vs. Hawks Preview/Ninja Warrior Class: Now That’s A Fire!

By Sam Fels 1894 0

 vs. 

RECORDS: Senators 21-28-9   Hawks 25-27-8

PUCK DROP: 7pm 

TV: NBCSN Chicago, NHL Network for some reason

WISHING THEY HAD NO RECOLLECTION, SENATOR: Brian5or6

This season, especially lately, the Hawks haven’t gotten to face too many teams that are a bigger oil spill than they are. Of course, when they have that hasn’t stopped them from getting thwacked by Arizona or Vancouver (twice). But hey, at least the Oilers haven’t gotten one over on them since like, October! Anyway, the last team the Hawks put a DLR on before Saturday’s was Ottawa back in that nation’s capital, and things seemed a touch rosier then. The Hawks would then win two games over the next 36 days. That’s how you get where we are now.

For the sake of educational purposes, the Ottawa Senators will provide an example of what a team really in crisis, in a tank and in full rebuild looks like. The only team propping them up in the East standings are the simply dizzy and confused Buffalo Sabres, and that’s in the Atlantic Division where five teams can’t touch their nose. They’re about to ship off everything that’s not nailed down, and even if they do all that their owner might just fold the team or move them because he feels like it as he might be Canada’s biggest asshole this side of Don Cherry or the Barenaked Ladies.

All the drama for the Senators over the next few days will be if they’re going to move along Erik Karlsson, which they pretty much have to. He’s at maximum value now, and though you could never get equal value for one of the greatest d-men of all time, you’ll come a lot closer now than you would in the summer, where any team acquiring him would get two playoff runs with him instead of one. It’s funny, earlier in the year we were saying the Hawks should be in on that derby. Seems so quaint now. Whether the Sens like it or not there’s really  no reason for Karlsson to re-sign there for all the money in the world unless he really loves having nothing to do and rarely playing games that matter. He’ll have 20 teams lining up to pay him what he wants soon, and few players get that chance.

Karlsson won’t be the only one packing his bags if he goes. Both Mike Hoffman and Mark Stone, two forwards who you would have heard way more about had they played somewhere else and/or ever had a real #1 center, look to be packaged goods as well, though Stone is a definite goner and Hoffman might stay. Derick Brassard is another who should get the movers ready. They’ve already packed off Dion Phaneuf because the Kings huffed some paint and decided that contract was a good idea. If the Sens were really adventurous they’d see if they could move along Matt Duchene again, because he’s not going to do them much good in the immediate future while they’re sucking hind-tit.

And then when you look at it, you see the Hawks are only a few games better, though in a far better division, and suddenly the world seems a very cold place indeed. The Hawks will be showcasing their own talent in Wingels and what looks to be Anisimov and Jurco tonight, as the latter two will skate with Patrick Kane. Either that, or Q has entered full, “Nothing Really Matters” mode and is just going to do stuff to do it and listen to a lot of Joy Division because how the hell else do you fill the time?

One intriguing line is Top Cat-Schmaltz-Duclair, because that’s something you could see being utilized in years to come. That is if Duclair closes the year strongly. You see what could be, but you also see what it is, and he’s going to have to show he can connect the two before we jump to any conclusions about where he’s going. Vinnie Smalls-Kampf-Hartman is at least a quick and entertaining fourth line, and hopefully they’re allowed to just be a kindergarten recess out there with their speed.

This is another scapler’s night off, and the Sens have never been much of a draw even though they might have the best player on the planet. Be curious to hear how many red seats are in the house tonight. This is the path they’ve chosen.

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Not Only Are They Now Stupid On The Ice, They Remain Breathtakingly Stupid Off It

By Sam Fels 7852 0

Please, tell me again what a marketing genius John McDonough is and how there should be classes taught at Wharton about his and Rocky Wirtz’s revival of the Hawks. Really, I want you to stuff me full of all your glowing takes and tributes until my eyeballs shoot out of my head like I was a Roger Rabbit character. I don’t even need oxygen anymore, that’s what I need.

There are 20 other players on this team. And believe it or not, some of them don’t actually cause bile to rise in parts of the fanbase, if not outright rage.

I don’t even know where to start with this. So let’s run through the possibilities of the Blackhawks marketing/social media team had go through their pea-sized brains to put this out. And believe me when I tell you that none of these are going to be encouraging.

One, they think the residue from the Kane ’15 stuff has all blown over, or the Madison escapades, or the hundreds of stories about him from around town that you know if you know exactly one bar employee, past or present. Because two years is so long in the internet age.

Two, they’re still actively trying to rehab his image still, even though the only thing he and the team really have ever apologized for is the negative publicity he has caused.

Three, they have no idea why this would be a problem.

That’s the good stuff there, people. Cut it up and snort it.

I get the Hawks can’t really help it if Chevy wants to use him and Toews in their ads, still trying to cash in on the “kids” angle from 2008 (and I’m sure they have to film these separately because I’ll let you in on a little secret, the two of them don’t really like each other). I suppose it’s not the Hawks problem if the NHL still wants to put this dickwagon front and center of their marketing campaign. But what they do on their social media and their marketing campaigns is certainly their choice. And this is the one they made.

What someone is going to have to explain to the Hawks staff, using very small words I’m sure, is that Kane stands for everything that You Can Play is supposed to be against. It’s not just the player himself of course, but his raft of fanboys and sycophants who rubbed their own shit on their chest before professing their love of Kane and their declaration of hatred or even violence against anyone who just wanted the Hawks and their fans to pause for once second two years ago. That would be the opposite of welcoming. That’s intolerance, it’s hate, it’s lack of understanding or empathy.

Whether the Hawks want to admit it or not, everyone basically know what a piece of shit personally Kane was and almost certainly still is. And that’s not cleared up by a Hart Trophy or more goals. And that’s fine, I don’t think anyone thinks we live in a world where the Hawks would cast out anyone they found immoral. No sports team would. Given that they reinstated a minor leaguer who got off on revenge porn charges on a simple technicality, morality isn’t something the Hawks would even know how to spell much less adhere to.

This is where I want McDonough to come out and tell me he’s not tone deaf again, because I haven’t had a good, hearty laugh in a while, one that causes my stomach to lock and nearly vomit. I’d be lying if I said, as a Hawks fan mind you, that there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t rejoice that the Hawks haven’t won a playoff round since they completely embarrassed themselves and sickened some fans on that September day in South Bend. And that part of me thinks they probably shouldn’t until Kane retires to whatever Frat House for 45-year-olds exists somewhere and McDonough and Rocky get to be completely exposed for the frauds they most certainly are.

Speaking of which, do the Hawks think they and Kane are 100% insulated from ducking the #MeToo wave? Because I’d be willing to bet that will end in one hell of a surprise, somewhere down the line. And I’d wager as well that one day we’re going to find out the Hawks cut a check or two or 12 or 100 to keep Kane and /or someone else out of the headlines once or twice, given the Mossad they have following around their players at night. And we know about Kane’s “fixer” in Buffalo. Look what happened to Shaun White yesterday. Took all of five minutes for Twitter to be like, “Hey, this guy is a douch-canoe with a settled sexual harassment suit in his past.” Maybe it’s a forlorn hope, but I get through the days knowing that it’s coming for everyone, even if I’m dead when it happens.

What’s so galling is that it’s so simple for the Hawks in cases like this. Fuck, Tommy Wingels helped found You Can Play! He’s sitting right there. Just accept your star winger is a fuckstick, and that you don’t have to put him on the front page of things that are about acceptance, tolerance, and understanding. Or do I have to remind you about the anti-semitic remarks in Madison again?

The Hawks still operate in service, or in fear of, the loudmouth, male portion of their fanbase that, as stated earlier, rubs shit on their chest. That’s the reason they’ve never hinted at changing the logo or the name. That’s why they’d never appear to be gun-shy about Kane. Because they fear the rantings and ravings of that group, even though we all know that’s the group of fans that would never go anywhere and in fact would be first in line to buy the new jerseys should they ever change the log. So does the NHL as a whole. Speaking of which..

Maybe it’s coming for the whole league one day. A boy can dream. Until then I’ll just sift through this waking nightmare.

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Game #52 – Hawks at Flames Preview/Immersion Therapy: Shadows In The Flames

By Sam Fels 2870 0

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 24-20-7   Flames 25-18-8

PUCK DROP: 9pm

TV: NBCSN Chicago here, Sportsnet up there

FRIENDS OF CAL AND GARY: Flamesnation.ca

It can get exhausting living this way. After most losses you pronounce the season over, only to build yourself back up by the next game to say the turnaround has to start RIGHT NOW, even though that’s what you said before the last game. The constant push and pull gets deeper every time, and no matter which side you’re on that day THIS TIME YOU MEAN IT. So it is with that in mind that we say once again, the Hawks have to start their attack run RIGHT NOW, especially considering the next four points on offer are four points they could deny a direct competitor in the Calgary Flames. They’re going to have to climb over teams, and they get to face Calgary, Anaheim, and Minnesota in the next two weeks. Biff it, and then we’ll know it’s all over but the shouting and we can get on to dreams of Yoan Moncada and a Kyle Schwarber renaissance.

And this might be a good time to catch the Flames, who appear to be a real mess. On the same night the Hawks were letting out a beer belch in Vancouver, the Flames were spectacularly blowing a 4-2 lead to the Lightning at home to lose 7-4. That probably doesn’t do it justice, either. Mike Smith gave up four goals in eight 3rd period minutes to blow that lead, and it was a singular meltdown. You probably saw the GIF of him breaking his stick against the post before being pulled, though we’ll excuse you if you can’t tell it apart from the dozens of other GIFs of Mike Smith going apeshit toddler on his posts and stick.

It broke a hot streak for Smith, who before that had only surrendered 14 goals in his last eight starts. Overall he’s been really good with a .922 SV% and a .943 SV% in January. And yet the Flames haven’t been able to get going fully, other than a seven-game winning streak which they counteracted by failing to win any of the six after that (four losses in OT or SO).

If Smith isn’t the problem, the offense is. Before the outburst against Tampa, they’d managed eight goals in five games. And Edmonton, LA, and Buffalo were part of that slate and you’re supposed to get goals against them currently. Basically if Johnny Gaudreau’s line doesn’t score, the Flames won’t. Michael Frolik has returned to reassemble the 3M line and give them something of a second option, and they’re slowly trying to fortify the bottom six with a couple kids like Mark Jankowski and Andrew Mangiapane. Also, Kris Versteeg looks like he might make it back before the season ends, but if you’re in a place where you need Kris Versteeg you’re probably in a place that has no running water.

The Flames aren’t clean on defense either. Mark Giordano and Dougie Hamilton have been just about the best pairing in the West all year. But below that, T.J. Brodie and Travis Hamonic are in a competition to see which can turn the other more into unidentifiable ooze all season. Michael Stone lives below that and that’s definitely a place that doesn’t have running water. And for some reason Glen Gulutzan won’t play Dougie enough to make a difference. Strange days, indeed.

Stop us if you’ve heard this before, but the Flames’ power play is also holding them back, and unlike the Hawks it has a couple natural QBs to run it. Their penalty killing hasn’t been as good either, and in this league special teams can make a huge difference. They won’t find much sympathy here, of course.

Now to the Hawks. There’s been yet another reshuffle, and it appears that Q’s patience with Brandon Saad has come to an end. Toews’s line remains the same (does anybody remember laughter?). Artem Anisimov moves back in between Schmaltz and Kane. On the surface this is a little frustrating, but then you remember that Wide Dick Arty is pretty much useless unless he’s playing with Kane and you have to maximize what you have. Saad is going to play with Wingels and Hartman as Q wants to keep Jurco-Kampf-Vinnie Smalls together, and with good cause. What a Saad-Wingels-Hartman line does is anyone’s guess, as we’ve said about the third line all season. What it might do is force Saad to start creating his own chances, which is in his holster but we don’t see very often. Or he can continue to drift aimlessly through games. He’s now gotten called out in the press by his coach, which is usually the last card Q wants to play. Now or never, bud.

It’s Judgement Day for the Hawks over the next couple weeks, as nonsensical as that sentence actually is. They face a bunch of teams around them. They could actually gain ground. But they’d have to put a streak together for more than three or four games, and that’s been beyond them all season. You turn enough corners, all you’ve done is end up where you were.

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Game #50 – Hawks vs. Predators Preview/Garden Party: As We Live A Life Of Ease

By Sam Fels 2115 0

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 23-19-7   Predators 29-11-7

PUCK DROP: 7pm

TV: NBCSN Nationally, NBSCN Chicago locally

MANY MORE OF THEM LIVE NEXT DOOR: On The Forecheck

When you biff what should be the easier part of your schedule, that means you have to get it done against the harder part of the schedule. But hey, why not go for degree of difficulty when you’ve got nothing else to lose? The Hawks begin a pretty tricky stretch of the campaign tonight, with their post-All Star break slate taking them to the West’s best team (yes they are, fuck off Vegas) before heading back out West which didn’t go so well last time. And if the Hawks have any designs on making something of this season, they don’t get any mulligans anymore.

And this is probably not the time to be catching the Predators, even if this comes one game early for Filip Forsberg’s return (not that he regularly torches the Hawks or anything). They’ve won seven of the last eight, and the only loss in that time was losing a game of pitch and toss to the Lightning. So yeah, they haven’t been beaten in regulation since January 2nd. They just got done thwacking the Devils in New Jersey before the break when they barely cared. If you’re looking for a silver lining, and you’ll have to dig, these wins haven’t exactly come against world beaters. The Yotes twice, the Kings, the Oilers, and the Panthers are the trophies on the wall for the month of January. Fuck, even the Hawks beat the Oilers twice.

While the Preds only sit one point back of the Jets and have three games in hand on them and are thus poised to show them a clean pair of heels right quick, there are cracks in the foundation underneath this team. While usually a staple of Peter Laviolette team, this team metrically is not very impressive. They’re exactly a dead-even possession team at 50 CF%, and they actually give up way better chances than they create with a pretty paltry 47.7 xGF% as a team. If you go by scoring chance and high-danger scoring chance percentages, they’re in the bottom third of the league in those as well.

Some of this can be attributed to Ryan Ellis only having played the last couple weeks, but that can’t explain it all. As good as Ellis is in both ends of the ice, one player is not making this up or at fault. The Preds don’t create as many chances per game as you’d assume they do given their speed and depth. Pekka Rinne has had to pull their ass out of a sling pretty often, and when he hasn’t Juuse Saros mostly has. That’s who the Hawks will get tonight as Rinne is preserved for a couple more days after the break.

The Preds lack of punch could be a matter of just pacing until the spring. It could be that Ryan Johansen has looked like the over-fed pile of earlobes that he did at times in Ohio and not the dynamo who’d eat your heart last spring. Totally not a coincidence that he signed a new contract that pays him $8 mildo until the sun swallows us all this summer, then.

The Preds have been picked up by their depth though, with Fiala, Smith, and Jarnkrok all scoring more than 10 goals off the top line. And as they do, they pour goals and points in from the back end, with PK Subban leading them in scoring and Josi and Ekholm both having more than 20 points as well. The return of Ellis only exacerbates this, and though Josi and Ellis are playing together at the moment Lavvy always has the option of splitting them up and having scoring threats on all three pairings. They’re about the only team in the league that can threaten that.

For the Hawks, there don’t appear to be any changes from last Thursday’s demolition of the Red Wings, and nor should there be. We want to see Top Cat get more chances to play with actual talent, and if anyone is going to wake up Brandon Saad it’s Patrick Kane. The third line is still something of a jumble but the 4th line is definitely more interesting as a speedy Pollock painting than whatever it was Wingels and Bouma did (though Wingels is still ahead of Sharp on the third line, which is fine). Anton Forsberg gets the start after being solid enough against Detroit.

This month is filled with games against teams either right around the Hawks or ahead of them, aside from Vancouver on Thursday and they didn’t exactly cover themselves in glory last time they were there. They see the Flames twice, Ducks, Stars, Wild, Kings and Sharks. This ain’t do disco, this ain’t no time for foolin’ around.

 

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Before Firing Q, Ask The Right Questions…Then You’ll Probably Fire Q

By Sam Fels 4104 0

For the first time, I’ve seen a real wave of sentiment that the Hawks need to make a major change behind the bench. Some have suggested in the front office. We joke about it here a lot, and we certainly criticize the decorated Hawks coach more than most. But it’s never so simple, and before the Hawks or anyone could conclude that this would be the right course of action one has to figure out what the intent of this season and what is really going on here first.

As we’ve talked about at length on the podcast, it’s hard to know what to think when we don’t know what exactly what Stan Bowman had in mind for this season. If the Hawks thought they could or were in any way inclined to be as transparent as other teams in town, what would they have told us before the season? I can’t take credit for the idea, it’s Fifth Feather’s, but there’s two ways this could have gone.

One is that this is truly a transitional season for the Hawks. One they probably should have embarked on a year ago or maybe even right after the last Cup, but that’s another discussion. That if they’d said while they wish to be competitive and make the playoffs, the main objective of this season was to bed in Schmaltz, DeBrincat, Forsling (whoops), now Duclair, Murphy, and let’s throw in Hinostroza and Sikura at the end for funsies (Kampf too if you want). That really what they wanted to get these players reps, ingrained, evaluated, and then have whoever makes the cut ready for one last assault on the summit next year, which is all you’re going to get with the aging “Core Five.”

And on that level, some of the decisions make some sense? I have to put a “?” there because I’m not really sure. If you wanted to see how Forsling and Rutta would do in the deep end, you’d give them the most d-zone starts of everyone. Which Q did. I guess if you squint you’d see if Murphy can play both sides, which he’s proven he can. But that seems a stretch. You’d try Top Cat as a playmaker on a lot of lines instead of a finisher…maybe? This is Schmaltz’s first real run at center, which you’d definitely do.

But on this level, the mistakes are greater than that. It was clear early on that Forsling wasn’t built to start so much in his own end, and a player who openly talked about losing confidence last year was having his ravaged again by such usage. He was booted off the power play even though that should be something he specializes in. Top Cat set all kinds of records playing the left side in the OHL, and has played there for about 12 minutes here. Isn’t it more prudent to build a player up in the softest spot to have success when he’s 19? And then see what his flexibility is? You could argue it took far too long to let Schmaltz just stay in the middle.

The handling of Murphy is the real red X here, and once again speaks to discord from front office to behind the bench which is the same shit we’ve talked about for years that the Hawks were talented enough to play over in the past but aren’t now. His scratches are simply petulant, given that he’s been the Hawks best d-man over the season. This is Q still bitching that his toy in Hammer–his declining, aging, slowing toy that was about to be more expensive–was taken away. While he’s certainly within his rights to be cranky, did Stan and Q never have a meeting after last season where it was laid out what the plan was? Should your coach be so gobsmacked at a trade as Q clearly was last summer? While we’ve seen the problems when Q gets a say in player decisions, or anyone above Stan does as well, I’m not sure that he should be in the dark either.

The more I watch this team the more I think this really was the plan, because everything Stan has done has been to get younger, faster, cheaper, and open up more space for his draft picks which hasn’t always been the case. And maybe if this team is ready to “go for it” next year (highly debatable what that would actually result in), you’d want Q there because that’s what he does. He’s just not the best for development, and that ignores whether or not some of the veterans have tired of his voice (which we’ll never prove).

If you take the other tack, that this year was about “ONE GOAL” as it always is, it’s gets murkier. There isn’t much Q can do to overcome the loss of Corey Crawford. Q can’t make Toews and Saad score. But even before that, if the goal was to amass as many points as possible. then why were Forsling and Rutta in the d-zone so much and on the kill? Why is Patrick Sharp anywhere near the top six? How can you have this power play? And how can it change personnel and tactics seemingly every opportunity? The scratching of Murphy makes even less sense in this context. Gustafsson and Oesterle going from either the minors or pressbox straight onto both special teams is confounding. If it was about development, it would make slightly more sense, but wouldn’t at least Oesterle have played from jump street?

These are all answers we won’t get because I don’t know what the long term or even short term goals were here. The simplest explanation is that Stan is remaking the entire roster under that “Core Five” (yes, Seabrook doesn’t really count anymore but he’s not going anywhere) either to give them one last chance either next year or preparing the ground for when they aren’t the front of this team anymore. But it doesn’t seem like his coach is playing the same game, once again.

And if that’s going to be the case going forward, one has to go. And Stan’s never gotten to hire a coach before.

 

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Game #47 Desperation…it’s the World’s Worst Cologne – Hawks 0, Lightning 2

By Rose Rankin 3377 0

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Corsica

Well, I guess anything is better than last Saturday’s shitshow against the Islanders, right? Anything is better than the, well, I won’t even call it a half-assed attempt against the Red Wings, it was a no-assed attempt. Is this the most pathetic way to rationalize a season that is quickly disappearing down the toilet? Yes. Yes it is. To the bullets!

– The Hawks actually didn’t play badly—they got Glass’d. By the latter half of the second, they had outshot the Lightning by a decent margin (they ended that period leading in shots 30-17), and they dominated possession. They had a 64.5 CF% at evens in the second, and in the first they (barely) had the edge as well (51.7 CF%). The Hawks were pressuring on offense and had four high-danger chances in the second period, yet the Lightning got a short-handed goal late in the period, which blunted the momentum the Hawks had going that whole frame. And how did that come about, you ask? Chris Kunitz banked a shot off Glass and the Feel Good Story kicked it into his own net. And making it worse was the fact that it was on a delayed penalty thanks to Mikhail Sergachev being a general dumbshit. Yes, it appears that Kunitz made a hand pass prior to the goal and the play technically should have been blown dead. But shit happens, the Hawks were already getting the benefit of a penalty being called, and when your goalie scores on himself in that situation, you can’t really blame it on a missed call.

– Isn’t it just the damndest thing, when Kempny and Murphy play and Forsling and Rutta don’t, our opponents have fewer shots and we have fewer defensive breakdowns? Now, in full disclosure both Kempny and Murphy had pretty shitty numbers possession-wise (36.7 and 42.4 CF% respectively), and of course the Hawks still fucking lost, but giving up 31 shots to the league’s best team after they had given up 46 in the game before? You can’t tell me the personnel changes and these numbers aren’t related.

– In the most obvious statement of the night, Andrei Vasilevskiy is really fucking good. The Hawks had plenty of quality changes—e.g., Jurco in the second, Duclair in the third—and they had six power plays including a two-man advantage. Yes, their power play remains as terrible as ever, but Vasilevskiy still stopped 40 shots on the night. I just made the second-most obvious statement when mentioning the dismal power play, but we’ll just leave it at that. Still complete clown shoes.

– It felt like Patrick Kane was triple-shifted all night. In fact he wasn’t, but he did have a shitload of ice time: 23:30. Kane spent more time on the ice than four of our six defensemen (only Keith and Oesterle had more time, and for Oesterle it was a matter of seconds. Same goes for Toews but I’m not talking about other forwards here). Kane finished the night with three shots, and he and Schmaltz were moving even if they were dragging Sharp around most of the time. So I get why this happened, but when you have to play Kane that much it feels like a desperate move by a team running out of options, time, and trust, which is most certainly now the case.

On Wednesday the Hawks play the Leafs, who lost tonight to the inexplicably-on-fire Avs, who are in the process of leaving us in the dust in the Central as they’re tied with Minnesota and chasing other also-relevant teams. Have we passed the point of no return on this season and playoff hopes? It’s not entirely certain, and keeping a game like tonight’s close—when we’re playing a far superior opponent—almost gives you reason to hold onto hope, but that in and of itself is a harsh indictment of where we’re at. Onward and upward.

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Game #42 Runnin’ a Little Bit Hot Tonight – Hawks 8, Senators 2

By Rose Rankin 2980 0

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Corsica

Sometimes you want something so badly that you become fixated on it, you turn the image or idea over and over in your mind, and eventually you build it up into a magnificence that’s totally out of proportion. And when you finally get it, the reality can’t possibly live up to your imagined ideal, and the chasm between desire and result is painfully clear. I am happy to report this situation did NOT happen tonight with my defensive pairing fantasy-turned-reality of Kempny-Murphy while Seabrook sat in the press box. Let’s get right to it:

– I was, dare I say, elated to hear that Seabrook was getting sat tonight. No, I don’t hate him—in fact I have an inordinate amount of affection for anyone on the Cup-winning teams (I know, I know, I’ve bashed him all season but you’ve got to believe me). So honestly, I felt pangs of guilt over how happy I was. And I still feel some now over how happy I am with the defensive play tonight generally. Yes, Rutta got de-pantsed by Duchene in the first, yes, he and Foreskin were scrambling like meth-addled gerbils in the second which led to the first Senators goal, but we knew they were going to pull shit like that. What I care about was that Michal Kempny and CONNOR MURPHY! had, respectively, a 71 and 69 CF% (NICE). Two of the Hawks’ goals included assists by both defensemen on the ice at the time. This was a defense I could live with, even if I’m still confused by Forsling-Rutta (whatever). As my esteemed colleague Adam mentioned earlier today on Twitter, we can make fun of Seabrook and still think good things about him. I’ll be thinking of warm fuzzy memories while he enjoys nachos from the comfort of the press box (fingers crossed).

– Wtf where has this power play been? The Hawks scored three—count ’em three—power play goals tonight, which I’m pretty sure ties their pp goals for the season. Schmaltz had two of them, which more than made up for his rather dismal possession numbers (25 CF%?? Hey, you get a pass tonight, pal!). All the way around, they had better traffic in front of the net, and while the Senators’ PK definitely blows (28th in the league), the Hawks power play actually blows worse (29th). So if this is what it takes to get some creativity and confidence on the man advantage, so be it. Better they’re the punching bag than us.

– I know there’s been a lot of chatter about the Hawks somehow waving a magic salary cap wand and getting Erik Karlsson at the trade deadline, and the merits of this idea are best saved for another time and place, but I can’t get over his dejection at taking a needless interference penalty in the second which led to Rutta’s goal. Karlsson finished the night with a 63.9 CF% so it wasn’t all doom and gloom—he just pulled a great Denis Lemieux.

– Speaking of Ottawa defensemen, I truly forgot that Dion Phaneuf was still in the league. I found he’s still a useless oaf, and I hope he goes away soon.

– Patrick Kane had five points tonight, and apparently that’s the first time he’s done that, which seems odd. It would have been better if Schmaltz had gotten a hat trick instead of Kane getting the 8th goal in the third period, but isn’t this a nice thing to be complaining about?

– Anton Forsberg was solid again tonight. He finished with a .926 SV%, and I couldn’t even hold the first goal against him. The Senators had about 35 chances while Forsling and Rutta do what they do in the defensive zone, and Mark Stone eventually capitalized after about 17 of those 35 chances. Forsberg made key saves when he needed to and he looked confident and well-positioned. Keep it going, guy.

You couldn’t ask for more than a DLR when going through a rapid sequence of games right before the bye week. It’s not only that points are important, which they most certainly are, but the Hawks also need to take advantage on nights like this and beat shitty opponents (check), and some momentum through this week when they’re facing the Jets in a few days definitely helps too. Also, you can’t tell me it’s a coincidence that on the night when the entire team sees that membership in the Circle of Trust actually has limits, they explode like a pimple and score eight goals. Yes, the Senators suck, but the Hawks have played plenty of shitty teams and not had a DLR.

On that note, I’d just like to point out that the last DLR this season was game #1, when I was doing the wrap, and now at the halfway point of the season, as I’m writing the wrap, they do it again. Clearly it’s me, so you’re all welcome.

Beer of the night: Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ by Lagunitas

 

 

Everything Else

Game #39 Makes You Think All the World’s a Sunny Day – Hawks 5, Rangers 2

By Rose Rankin 2935 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

This year is only three days old but it’s basically been one big dick kick for most of those 72 hours. One merciful exception is the Blackhawks winning a game—and in regulation too. It wasn’t always pretty, despite the fact that the Rangers blow in possession which played to the Hawks’ strength. The score makes it seem easier than it was. To the bullets:

– The theme of the night for the Hawks was dumb penalties. Sure, their PK is good, but jesus do you have to make it so hard on yourselves? Toews had two penalties in the first, Seabrook and Glass tag teamed in the second to allow the Rangers a 5-on-3 on which they promptly tied the game, Bouma took a dumbshit penalty late in the second in the offensive zone—it just wouldn’t stop. It also must be pointed out that Glass made pretty much the stupidest mistake possible by lofting the puck into the stands while they were already on the PK. And I had to concede that Dave Lozo made a funny when he called him Jeff “I shoot the puck over the” Glass. In any case, penalties let the Rangers tie the game in the second and nearly again in the third. Penalties like the too many men in the third, or delay of game in the second (and which Seabrook nearly managed in the first as well), are often just dumbass moves. They certainly were tonight.

– And then there was the dumb non-call in the second period: Hartman’s cross-check on Marc Staal that sent Staal hurtling into the net while taking the puck with him. Not that I’m unhappy with the result, of course. We need all the help we can get right now.

– If a line was going to get lucky, it had to be Hartman-Schmaltz-Kane. They were the best line all night with all three of them hovering around a 70 CF%. All of them had multiple shots (three for Schmaltz, five for Kane, two for Hartman), and if it hadn’t been for Lundqvist robbing Kane repeatedly, it would have been a different story tonight.

– But no, it was largely the same scenario we’ve become used to: the Hawks dominated possession (64.6 CF% at evens, with the first two periods being over 70%), they had a huge lead in shots (35 to 25), yet they had to eke out goals until the last couple minutes when they got two empty-netters. Now, granted, I’m not looking this gift horse in the mouth (OK, maybe I am a little), and if this is how we have to claw our way to victory then fine, so be it. The Saad-Toews-Hinostroza thing was working. But if Kane and Schmaltz had had a little more finish on those shots, this could have been a DLR. But whatever. They did what needed to be done.

– Speaking of doing things the hard way, Jeff Glass did himself very few favors, such as the aforementioned dumb penalty, and his habit of losing his net (and occasionally his stick). His rebounds weren’t as atrocious tonight as previously, and he finished with a respectable .920 SV%. But I certainly wouldn’t call his positioning reliably good. The announcers (whoever the fuck this B-team was that the NHL trotted out for their beloved Rivalry Night along with noted asshat Pierre McGuire) kept fluffing him all night, but really they were just pushing this feel-good storyline. The scrambling in front of the net that the Hawks had to periodically resort to stands as a reminder that this isn’t a long-term solution during Crawford’s absence, or at least, it shouldn’t be.

– David Kampf got his first point, so way to go. It came as an assist on Patrick Sharp’s go-ahead goal, which is…good? I’m conflicted by Sharp getting to stay in the lineup and bump Top Cat to his off side, but again, that gift horse thing….

So despite the warts this was a badly needed win, as they all will be from here on out. This game really had the feel of one that would get tied late in the third, and which the Hawks would lose in OT, so I’d rather be sitting here complaining about how many more goals they could have scored, rather than bitching about them blowing it.

Beer de Jour: Crushinator by Maplewood Brewing (an IPA that’s 4.5%? Hello, weekday beer!)

Line of the Night: “Chicago…way too many men.” –Pierre McGuire in a most Freudian-sounding statement.

 

Everything Else

Game #39 – Hawks vs. Rangers Preview/Track Mastering: You Can’t Get A Joint in Times Square So Who Cares?

By Sam Fels 2059 0

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 18-14-6   Rangers 21-13-5

PUCK DROP: 7pm

TV: NBCSN – It’s Rivalry Night, don’t ya know?

NEW YORK MIGHT BE THE WORST ST. VINCENT SONG EVER: Blueshirt Banter, @HockeyRodent

It’s not officially cold until it gets cold in New York, which it has been now, and you can hear their bitching about it from Oregon. Meanwhile this is par for the course for us, but who gives a shit when we’re here in the middle, busy sending all of our creative talent there to do the work they take credit for? Exactly. Anyway, it’s rivalry night apparently and I guess this counts because it’s two Original Six teams, though you’re forgiven if you forgot that the Rangers were an O6 teams because really… what’s Rangers tradition?

BUT THAT’S NOT WHY YOU CALLED.

The Hawks wrap up this weird six-game trip that’s bounced from Texas to the East Coast, to Western Canada, back to the East Coast, rippin’ and rompin’, North Cak-a-laka and Compton (not actually Compton). It wrapped around Christmas so the Hawks didn’t have to do it all in one, but it also makes it seem like it’s gone on forever. The fact that the Hawks piled up only one win during it, three terrible losses and one credible point I guess in Cal And Gary only made it seem longer. Which leaves us in this state of ennui we currently find ourselves.

As far as on the ice. there will be more changes. Because of course there will. Once again, Richard Panik goes from top line to pressbox in Q’s Rotation Of Confusion, with Vinnie Smalls getting a chance to do whatever it is he does with Toews and Saad. Patrick Sharp comes back from exile (handsome exile!) to be on the other side of David Kampf from Top Cat, forcing Top Cat back to the right side because whatever Baby Sharp wants Baby Sharp gets, I guess.

It spreads to the defense as well, where Gustav Forsling will slot back in to pair with Cody Franson, which won’t have the Rangers forwards giggling until they foam up at the mouth or anything. Personally, I can’t wait for Forsling to get horsed in the corner, the puck making its way to the slot and Franson kind of staring at it with a bemused expression as one might a squirrel dragging a too big piece of food up a tree. After starting the shift in their own end, of course.

Jeff Glass gets his third straight start, as horse-player Q thinks this is finally the Pick 3 he’s going to hit. This is simply asking for trouble, as the “spark” Q was looking for by starting this good story has not materialized, and has in fact has had his skaters playing terrified and panicked in their own zone as Glass spits up another rebound. It has the double effect of fucking with Anton Forsberg’s head, and with Corey Crawford nowhere on the horizon that seems a real problem. Glass is going to give up a touchdown somewhere around here, because he’s not Tim Thomas, and it’s going to be in a game the Hawks can’t really afford to just punt. Forsberg has had his spotty games for sure, but also has the better chance of holding a team below two which he’s done as well. But Q gets to play his hunches because fuck you.

To the Rangers, who are one of the weirder statistical teams you can find. They’ve fallen six points behind the division leading Caps, but have two games in hand. What’s bewildering about the Rangers is that they’re one of the worst possession teams in the league, and yet they create the best chances out of the limited attempts they take. They’re #1 in expected goals at evens per 60 minutes, even though you’d be hard pressed to find a genuine first-liner anywhere on this team. They give up a lot of attempts as well, but not that many great chances.

It also helps that Henrik Lundqvist went a bit bonkers in December, with a .936 SV%. So that talk of him being finished in October seems to have dried up a bit. That helped the Rags to a 7-3-3 record in the month, and they’ll be coming off a truly inspiring OT win in the Winter Classic against the modern day irresistible force that is the Buffalo Sabres.

The Rangers are a little beat up at the moment, as Chris “I Still Give Guys Swirlies” Kreider is out indefinitely with a blood clot in his arm, and so is Jesper Fast. The Rangers weren’t blessed with a huge amount of depth, so it’s kind of stripped their second line. Unless a troika of Buchnevich-Desharnais-Vesey scares you. The top unit of Alleged Wiener Tucker and The Two Z’s has been dynamite possession-wise but not a whole lot of end product yet. It’s the bottom six where the real threat lies, with Michael Grabner and 18 goals, Captain Stairwell, and J.T. Miller always possible to pop up with a goal. There are no big names–Nash really isn’t a top line player any more–but the foot soldiers have gotten enough done.

They’ve had problems getting Kirk ShattenKevin to fit in all season, and he’s currently on a third-pairing with worst player in the world Brendan Smith. Most of their push comes from Chance-Made-Me-Famous Brady Skjei (and the funny thing about that sketch is that Skjei is American). McDonagh and Holden take the human shield assignments, and expect Schmaltz and Kane to see them every shift.

Feels like every time I show up here and say the Hawks need to kick it into gear and blah blah blah, Kesha. Perhaps it’s just not going to happen and this is what they are. The Hawks are going to pack in the games now before their bye week, with seven games in the next 12 days. It is likely that when we get to the end of that stretch, we’ll know if the rest of the season is worth any give-a-shit or not.

 

Game #39 Preview

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

Game #36 How Far Will We Fall If There’s Nothing Below – Hawks 2, Canucks 5

By Rose Rankin 2381 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

A few days off, some time away with family members, a little breathing space—all of these things should have helped the Blackhawks to bounce back from two crappy losses, right? Wrong. The break clearly did little to cure what ails the Hawks right now. To the bullets:

– Anisimov went down with an injury early in the game, but I gotta tell you, I didn’t even see it. Suddenly, he was just gone. Maybe he tripped over his own wide dick and needed to ice it for a while. Who can say in this league where they tell you nothing? But what it led to was Q hitting the blender extra hard tonight. Unfortunately, it was mostly a shit smoothie that he got out of it. And should anyone be surprised? Throwing combinations of guys who haven’t played together and not even giving them three shifts to figure stuff out? I, for one, am shocked this isn’t working.

At first, we saw Kane-Schmaltz-DeBrincat, and I thought I might weep with joy. But nope, that didn’t last, although they did make a brief reappearance in the third. Next up was Kane-Toews-Saad (nothing doing). Then it was Kane-Schmaltz-Kampf (huh?). And in case you didn’t notice a pattern there, Garbage Dick led the team in ice time through two periods, and he finished second only to Keith by the end of the game. So clearly, Q has a lot of confidence in his supporting cast and it’s definitely sustainable to quadruple-shift Kane.

– The Gustav Forsling Experience needs to draw to a close. Seriously, he’s lost in his own zone, useless on special teams apparently, and thus generally worthless at this point. It’s especially poignant against the team from whence he came. Pairing him with Jan Rutta is aggravating the situation, as we saw for example on Vanek’s second goal where the two of them couldn’t find either one of their asses with any of their hands. I’m tired of sounding like the president of the Michal Kempny Fan Club over here, but this is getting ridiculous. And if Connor Murphy turns out to have a case of brown brain after Biega flattened him into the glass, we’d better not see Cody fucking Franson in his place.

– Continuing his run of worst luck in the NHL, Anton Forsberg played decently through much of the game until the wheels really fell off in the third. He could have stopped the first goal, but a bunch of the ones in the middle were due to his defense crapping the bed yet again. The second goal was the aforementioned Foreskin-Rutta defensive breakdown, and the third goal he was screened by Seabrook’s nacho-laden ass. Forsberg isn’t blameless in all this, don’t get me wrong, but he got little help defensively or offensively. Because also of note, the Hawks had five power plays and only converted on one.

– Ah, the power play. Still as shitty as before Christmas. For a moment it seemed like they got things figured out as Schmaltz and Kane’s positioning took advantage of their right hand/left hand combo. But the man advantage quickly returned to form as they couldn’t manage a zone entry on their next four power plays.

– I was interested to see wunderkid Brock Boeser in action, and lo and behold he had a goal and three assists. He and Thomas Vanek connected for three goals between them, and they both assisted on Gagner’s goal. Gee, it must be nice for a rookie with a hot hand to play with teammates that complement his skills while he also has the confidence of his coach.

– Despite one dumbass move on a power play, Ryan Hartman was pretty much the Hawks’ best player tonight (Nick Schmaltz and Patrick Kane could also make a case, I know). He was all over the ice, either repeatedly getting shoved into Markstrom, or more importantly keeping the puck in the zone while his linemates did everything they could to cough up control of it. He finished with a 77.8 CF%, which led the team, plus a pyrrhic goal at the end to make things look a little less pathetic.

– OK, so this isn’t directly game-related, but the Hawks have been running some promotion or attempt at a social media campaign called “Blackhawks Authentic Fan” which cracks me up because 1. we’re called Real Fans Program here so nice try, and 2. they’re using “BlackhawksAF” as the hashtag. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think of “authentic fan” when I see something as “af.” However, it’s actually perfect—we should take advantage of the description “Blackhaws as fuck.” To wit: That zone entry where they fell over the blue line and Saad and Hartman ran into each other? That was Blackhawks as fuck. Or: That power play where everyone stood in place doing jack shit? That was Blackhawks as fuck. So thank you, Hawks, for giving a description to the frustrating shit you pull night in and night out.

It’s obvious that every point counts, and that winning these games against the rest of the western dregs with whom we’re fighting for a wild card spot is damn near crucial. And yet, we’re picking up right where things left off. If a shitty Canucks team on a 3-game losing streak isn’t the antidote right now, then what is? Maybe the Oilers? We’ll find out soon enough.