Everything Else

Their Emblems Built of Garbage – ’18-’19 Blackhawks Player Previews: Nick Schmaltz

By Rose Rankin 2414 0

OK, we made it through the defensive previews. It was rough, I know, but we survived with maybe even a glimmer of hope about Jokiharju and even Gustafsson (ah Pullega, ever the optimist around here). Now we turn to the forwards, where the few silver linings from the shitcloud that was last season came from. And undeniably, one of those linings was Nick Schmaltz, who proved he can be a legitimate #2 center and became Patrick Kane’s best friend (seems like an inadvisable choice there but his game did improve). In fact, Kane led the team in points and Schmaltz ended in a three-way tie with DeBrincat and Toews for second. Not only that, Schmaltz was extremely fast, nearly doubled his point total from the year before (albeit playing in more games), and is now in a contract year, which should maintain the fire that seems to be burning under his ass. Let’s see what we have here:

2017-18 Stats

78 GP – 21 G – 31 A

51.9 CF% – 64.1 oZS% – 35.9 dZS%

18:14 Avg. TOI

A Brief History. Schmaltz centered Kane and Hartman for a significant portion of the year and they were definitely the most interesting line to watch. His speed played a factor in that of course, but he and Kane developed a real chemistry that provided some stability in contrast to the too many other frenetic lineup changes. Schmaltz was (rightly) criticized for passing too much, but his ridiculous 17.8 shooting percentage at least meant he was effective when he did shoot. The Hartman-Schmaltz-Kane line had a 51.2 CF%, and although they basically gave up as many high-danger chances as they got—unsurprising given their defensive weaknesses in aggregate—they did score more high-danger goals than they gave up (39 HDCF vs. 38 HDCA; 5 HDGF vs 3 HDGA). Hartman was of course summarily dismissed but he was also the expendable one from this line, so now the search for a replacement begins.

It Was the Best of Times: The best-case scenario here is that Schmaltz goes off for a career year. He scores 70 points, he and Kane continue their on-ice bromance, and a new winger slots into the left side seamlessly causing us all to forget about Ryan Hartman if we hadn’t already (we pretty much have). Who would that winger be? Possibly Victor Ejdsell, who had a solid prospect camp playing wing. Dylan Sikura is another candidate, should he pull an Alex DeBrincat and go straight to the top club after camp. Given his five games with the Hawks last year this doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility. And now Saad is in the running too, based on admittedly the tiny sample size of training camp so far.

Whoever it is, in this ideal situation the second line centered by Schmaltz provides stability against Q’s worst impulses and goals on a team with a defense and goaltending situation that could end up being classified as anywhere from “suspect” to “downright putrid.” What would really top it off would be if Schmaltz took a bit of a discount and the Hawks could re-sign him for maybe just under $6 million a year—i.e., not breaking the bank despite the Dylan Larkin contract hanging out there as a comp, and thus lowering the chances that his inevitable post-contract bed-crapping in 2019-2020 will be entirely tragic, as it would at $7+ million.

It Was the BLURST of Times: The worst-case scenario is, quite frankly, that Schmaltz sucks and they have to put Anisimov as the #2 center. His struggles in his own zone make him, Kane, and fill-in-the-blank guy a liability, and as the turnovers rack up and Cam Ward impersonates Swiss cheese (remember, this is the worst-case scenario we’re talking here), Q sees his chance to hit the blender and Schmaltz bounces between lines and, even worse, between playing center and moving back to wing. Adding to this would be giving him a big contract extension in the hope it’s an off year. Equally bad would be losing him to another team and having him bounce back strong in ’19-’20 and the Hawks’ front office falls officially into the “Moron” category.

Prediction: Like my colleague Hess, I often struggle with predictions but I’m going all in on Schmaltz and saying reality will be closer to the best-case scenario. No I don’t think he’ll double his point total again from year to year, but somewhere in the 60-65 range and assisting on about 20 of Kane’s goals sounds both possible and not entirely insane. The left wing spot is of course a question mark, but if Schmaltz can improve his work in the defensive zone and maintain the coked-up-gerbil pace that he had last year, I’m pretty confident that the Hawks will find some jabroni who can at least do no harm on the left side (I still want Saad on the top line so yes, that situation may work but I’m holding out hope).

And then they’ll pay Schmaltz $6.8 million for 6 years, which we’re all delighted about in April when they’re scraping into the playoffs, and then cursing come November 2019 when he’s hurt and/or terrible. Sorry, even when I’m taking the positive outcome I’m still a miserable pessimist.

Photo: Nick Schmaltz’s Twitter, which I wish he would post at more often

Previous Player Previews

Corey Crawford

Cam Ward

Duncan Keith

Connor Murphy

Brent Seabrook

Brandon Manning

Jan Rutta

Erik Gustafsson

Henri Jokiharju

 

Everything Else

The Folly Of Transparecy

By Sam Fels 2480 0

Friend of the program Jay Zawaski had some thoughts on Tuesday. This is a subject we discussed a lot last year, what was the Hawks real intent on the season versus what they told everyone it was and why there was a difference. Jay’s not wrong about anything he says here, and it is a nice thought he wishes for where the Hawks were completely transparent about what their plans are going forward.

But the more I think about it, what do they have to gain?

Quite simply, the Hawks are not going to sell more tickets if they tell everyone that they’re in the process of turning over the team to their younger players. I don’t know that they’d sell less, but their position in the Chicago sports landscape isn’t so secure that they would feel they can risk it. While telling us exactly what “The Plan” is would make us all feel better, our mental state isn’t of real importance to them. The Hawks quite simply can’t take the risk of telling their only casual fans that this season might not matter. And that’s assuming there is “a plan.”

Secondly, the Hawks can’t really send that message to Keith, to Seabrook, to Kane, to Toews, and maybe even especially to Crawford. While the organization might be looking at the days already where they’re no longer the main contributors, considering they’re the guys who pulled this organization out of the seventh level of hell they’re owed a certain amount of promises from the front office. You can’t really tell these guys that they’re going to spend the next season or two or three playing games that aren’t going to matter. Maybe they know it already, maybe they don’t, but you certainly can’t give them that message in public. And considering whatever Crawford is working his way back from (and right now “working” is just a claim), it would be truly unfair to have him bust his ass to come back to backstop a team his bosses just told everyone isn’t really relevant.

These guys are made, and I think the only way the Hawks could even consider it would be to meet with them privately and say this is where we want to go, and you have the option of being a part of it or not. These guys all have full NMCs and I doubt any of them are interested in moving, but they also might not want to have another playoff-less season or two.

At the same time, the Hawks simply can’t move them, because of the aforementioned fragility of their place in the market. Toews, Kane, Keith, Seabrook, and Crawford are still the players most fans can identify only and buy the tickets to see. You and I might go to see Top Cat’s or Schmaltz’s (or hopefully Jokiharju’s) development (because we’re sick and our lives our empty), but the guy or girl you work with doesn’t. Even if we passed through some undiscovered wormhole into a world where the Hawks could and would do a full tear-down, McDonough and Rocky are not going to stomach a season or two of a half-empty building. Not after all the back-slapping they’ve done with each other by taking the Hawks out of that by simply standing there while the roster that was already in place took shape.

However, the Hawks “rebuild” plan is flawed. You “rebuild, ” whether fully or on the fly, if you have players to build the future around. The Hawks don’t. Nick Schmaltz maxes out as a great #2 center. Maybe DeBrincat is a genuine top line scorer, and maybe he’s something of a tweener from a #1 or #2 LW. He could be any iteration of Phil Kessel, really. There’s no top-pairing d-man anywhere near ready. If you’re building a team around #2 centers and maybe 1st-line wingers, congratulations you’re the St. Louis Blues or the Minnesota Wild. And you know where that road goes and it’s nowhere pretty.

Which brings me to Erik Karlsson. If you’re a team that’s called about Justin Faulk, then you’d obviously call about Erik Karlsson because Erik Karlsson is the absolute idealized version of Justin Faulk. Sure, the Hawks would have to clear out Hossa’s contract to fit him in for this season, and then need more salary cap rises to accommodate him for the next contract he’s going to sign. But based on what’s been rumored to be the return from the Stars or Lightning, the Hawks could probably match it.

So if they’re not rebuilding, and they say they aren’t, and they’re after Justin Faulk, why aren’t they calling? Why aren’t they at least saying they’re calling? Karlsson is the quickest route to maximizing whatever you have left in “the core.” If you’re stated aim of competing every season is your actual aim, and we don’t know that it is, you’d be in on this. You would have been in on Tavares too, but the Hawks didn’t even get in the room.

McClure has a theory that the Hawks would never take on any player that would have to be paid more than Toews and Kane (which is funny in itself, because Keith has been the most important player throughout this run but that’s another discussion). Karlsson doesn’t make that yet but obviously will. I wonder if that’s the case and whether that really matters to either if they’re staring at finishing out their careers playing on middling teams.

Given what’s already on the roster, the Hawks simply can’t be bad enough to draft high enough to get a true difference maker without a shit-ton of luck either in the lottery or by getting a player of that quality in the spots they don’t generally come from. So why are those picks so important? And if everyone’s job is on the line like they claim, wouldn’t you be after the one player that basically assures everyone keeps their job? Karlsson takes this dreck and at worst it’s a playoff team with a healthy Crawford (and maybe even not). That would at least see Quenneville finish the season and Stan get to see out whatever his plan is.

But again, there’s no impetus for them to tell us. The sweaty hand-clappers and their ugly fucking kids will still be at the Convention happily sopping up whatever tripe they’re fed. There won’t be much scrutiny from a press corps that has the Cubs and Bears training camp a mere two weeks away. Quite simply, the Hawks won’t tell us what they’re doing because they don’t have to.

Everything Else

Well Pilgrim, Not Until You Eat The Peanuts Outta My…-FFUD’s Player Reviews: Patrick Kane or The Barometer?

By Sam Fels 1928 0

It was kind of a weird season for Patrick Kane. And not all of it was self-inflicted. But perhaps no player symbolizes what went wrong for the Hawks, and their reaction to it, better than him. Let’s deep dive.

Patrick Kane

27 goals, 49 assists, 76 points, -20, 32 PIM

51.6 CF%, -1.1 CF% Rel, 48.0 xGF%, -2.36 xGF% rel

There are a couple thing to know about Kane before you get into how this season fit. While his previous two MVP-level seasons are the ones that get the most attention, Kane had actually been a point-per-game player for five straight seasons before this one. One was the season-in-a-can of 2013, and the next two were ended prematurely due to injury where he only played 69 and 61 games. So he could have had eye-popping numbers in five seasons instead of the two he did simply due to different fates. So to complain he’d fallen off that a bit this seasons would seem the most petty of tactics, but it’s the standard he set.

Second, it’s important to note that Kane is one of those players that the metrics don’t mean a ton to. He’s never been a great possession player, and has always lagged behind the team rates for the past six years. In fact, his relative marks above are the best he’s had in the past four seasons. Some of that is playing with exclusively offensive players like Panarin or basically glorified obelisks like Artem Anisimov or players needed heavy sheltering like Brad Richards or Michal Handzus (the horror…the horror…) or Andrew Shaw. The roster wonkiness has always seemed to affect Kane most or thereabouts, but it doesn’t matter because he’s going to score anyway.

So why the dip in points this year? Quite simply, luck and linemates. Kane’s personal SH% dropped to 9.5% this year from 11.6% last year and 16% the year before that. Even if 16% is the outlier leading to a 46-goals season we’re probably not going to see again, 9% is low enough below his career 12% mark that you know it’s crap luck. Even that career mark would have seen him score 34 goals this year instead of 27. The team’s overall shooting-percentage when Kane was on the ice dipped from 9.5 to 7.7. That might not sound like a lot but it’s a difference of 12 goals over the season at evens just for Kane’s time on the ice.

And we can boil it down to luck, mostly, because he was getting the same chances as he had the previous seasons. Kane actually had more attempts at evens per 60 minutes this year than he had in five seasons. Some of that could be a product of playing with the pass-happy Schmaltz. Kane got more shots on net than he had in five seasons as well. His individual expected goals was higher than it was the previous two seasons, though not as high as ’15 or ’14. Again, this is where we can’t measure if he somehow lost something off his shot or accuracy, but it’s a good sign he was getting the chances we’re accustomed to seeing.

It would be easy to point to the power play as a points-dipper (phrasing?), but Kane actually only had one less point on the power play than he did last year, though obviously nowhere near the 37 power play points he piled up in his Hart year. But this is where the discussion turns. Because most will tell you the Hawks power play struggles due to it standing around and waiting for Kane to do something. Our argument this  year is Kane is just as much of a problem. The puck dies when it gets to him. It’s isolation basketball, and there’s little temptation for anyone to do anything when that consistently happens. It’s not near the full explanation for why the power play in a constant state of self-fuckery, but it’s one. Going forward, whoever is running it has to get Kane to make decisions quicker and to move around more. The stick-handling at the circle for 10-15 seconds isn’t getting anyone anywhere except closer to the embrace of the reaper.

And this is where we get beyond the stats. There wasn’t anything Kane could do to save this season. A 110-point tour-de-force still lands this team well outside the playoff spots. And there were some nights, or at least periods, where it did seem Kane was trying to salvage everything himself, and drag this team to relevance.

But there were other nights, or shifts, where it was clear Kane couldn’t locate a fuck to give. On some level, you understand. As well-informed about hockey matters as he is, Kane almost assuredly knew this season was toast in January. And in his 12th year, you could understand if a game against Minnesota in February just doesn’t have the same ring as it did when the Hawks were good. Still, that’s not what he’s asked to do. There were lazy passes or changes, a lack of desire to backcheck, or trying shit simply to entertain himself. Cynically looking for his 500th assist when the Hawks were getting clubbed in Arizona was a particular highlight.

He’s not alone. Toews had his nights. So did Keith. When you’ve spent as long at the top as these guys have, finding the same charge when at the bottom is near impossible. They shouldn’t be given a pass but they also shouldn’t just be accepted either.

If the Hawks are going to be good again, they’ll need Kane back at his PPG+ form. And he probably will be with simple luck rebounding. But it would also help if he were there every night, and that can’t be dependent on if he thinks the rest of his team is at his level. Sure, accepting the problems and putting Top Cat on his wing for the 35 goals he could assuredly score with Kane wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

But also, whatever fatigue there is with Joel Quenneville has to be cleared by the team’s veterans. Our suspicions before have been that Kane and Toews have sort of tired of the coach’s voice, but with the Hartman trade it appeared that it was the kids who weren’t really responding. And yet…and yet…

Get to the 5:07 mark of this video, and while dabbling in body language and speech analysis is probably a really dumb thing to do, does this strike you as someone believing in the direction of everything? Something tells me there are interesting times ahead, and that doesn’t necessarily mean smooth.

Everything Else

And You May Ask Yourself, Well, How Did I Get Here – Hawks 3, Islanders 1

By Rose Rankin 2059 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

It’s a pretty sad commentary on the season when holding on to beat a bottom-feeder after being eliminated from playoff contention is the best we can muster, but hey, here we are. To the bullets:

–With Toews out and nothing really of consequence to play for (pride? Does that matter?), the lines were more jumbled than usual. However, the top line of DeBrincat-Kane-Saad was enjoyable to watch, in the same sense that Taco Bell after a night of drinking is enjoyable: in the moment it solves a specific need and makes you feel better, but it doesn’t fix the underlying problem—no matter what you tell yourself about that food “soaking up the alcohol,” that hangover is still coming. And so it is with this scenario. These guys aren’t really a viable line and Kane, notwithstanding his foiling a Tavares shot in the third with arguably his best defensive play of the season, is not a center. But what does that matter? At evens this line ended with a CF% right around 70, and they totaled nine shots between them all.

Plus they scored the goals that mattered (Seabrook had an empty netter, bfd). Kane’s goal was on the power play, so I’m not chalking that up to his fantastic chemistry with these linemates. But Saad overcame his generally terrible luck and banked a shot off Halak’s ass, as he looked around frantically for the puck in all the wrong places. Not only was it enjoyable to see shitty goaltending screw over someone else, it was also nice to see Saad score the goal that would end up being the difference maker.

–And that’s because John Tavares came close to single-handedly getting the Islanders back in the game. He had a pretty wretched 31 CF% and no shots until the 3rd, but he scored the only goal after continual pressure and just plain old creating the chance to go top shelf on Forsberg. He probably would have had two goals if Kane hadn’t lifted his stick just enough on the opportunity he had in the slot, which was shortly before the goal he did score. I know it’s unlikely that the Hawks could pull it off, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want them to make an attempt to bring him here after he hits the market this summer.

–Anton Forsberg looked nervous and at times shaky in net, but he played the part of serviceable backup pretty well tonight. He finished with a .969 SV% (NICE), and while it’s rather pathetic that this display of goaltending prowess could only be managed against the lowly Islanders, at this point we should just be happy that the guy who started in goal was able to finish the game. And it’s not like Halak was any better, so there’s that.

–Vinnie Hinostroza was his usual energetic self but he seems a bit snakebitten. After missing the net on a good chance in the second, he was visibly frustrated and took it out on his stick against the post. I can’t fault the guy—he’s consistently one of the fastest if not THE fastest Hawk out there, and he and Schmaltz seem to have good chemistry. Yet he hasn’t scored a goal since March 3rd, and hasn’t had a point all week. I hope he can rack up a couple more points before the season ends, and finish it on a high note. For all his effort, he deserves at least that.

–Jan Rutta did a good thing! He had a nice play in the first to stop Barzal on a breakaway, exactly the sort of thing a defenseman is supposed to do. It should speak volumes about our defense that one good play by this guy would stand out so much, but again, here we are. The defense actually wasn’t awful tonight, but again, it’s the fucking Islanders so I’m not sure how much this really means. But we’ll take our victories where we can get them (literally).

There are so few games left…we can almost count them on one had. It’s sad, it’s a relief, it’s frustrating, it’s a lot of things. At least this one was a win.

Beer de jour: 312 by Goose Island (there’s a bunch of it in my fridge and, well, I was too lazy to bother getting anything else)

Line of the Night: OK, so I don’t have one and that’s because I was listening to music with the game on mute, which apparently my esteemed colleagues just figured out is a thing you can do (sorry guys but I’ve been laughing my ass off about this all week). For those of you who haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend it and not just for hockey—it works with any sport. But don’t fret—Line of the Night isn’t going anywhere…now you know why I don’t always have one. And what was I listening to? Well, it’s a vinyl evening here at Casa di Rankin, going through my catalog of Bob Marley records, including Live from the Record Plant, Kaya, and Uprising, among others.

Photo credit: Washington Post

Everything Else

Game #75 – I’ll probably die anonymous – Hawks 2, Canucks 5

By Adam Hess 2064 0

Box Score

Hockey Stats

Natural Stat Trick

This one was a real shit show, and that all started this afternoon before the game even started. I have some questions. Let’s get right to the bullets:

– So let’s get to the one that I think is the most glaring: what the heck was this lineup? Please don’t get me wrong, I know that with Toews out with an “upper body injury” aka getting his offseason started a bit early, there aren’t a lot of really good options available. But why aren’t you just top-loading then and putting Top Cat and Kane on the wings of Schmaltz? With Toews and Duclair out, you really only have 4 players worthy of top-six minutes – these three and Saad. You’re out of the playoffs already, and the league is trending toward the top-heavy lineups already. There’s no value in “depth” or “balance” in your lines at this point. Even though it’s just the Canucks, let your two young guns – who are the future of your forward group, by the way – take on the top competition with your best player and see what they can do.

– My next question: Why are we still trying this Oesterle thing? His contract is fine, of course, but that’s only because he had done jack and shit before getting here. He’s been actively bad all year. I guess I sorta see the goal in pairing him with Murphy, who has been good, and hoping it evens out, but I’m just not sure what Oesterle is giving you that Dahlstrom’t or Forsling didn’t, and those two are obviously going to be more integral to the future success of this team than Jordan Fuckin’ Oesterle. Nothing to play for, so why not just claim Keith is hurt, use an “emergency” recall for Forlsing, and use him in that role instead and see what happens? Yes I know Keith probably wouldn’t play along. Put some legos in front of his locker or something.

– Thirdly: what’s your best guess on career NHL games played for JF Berube after this season? Because teams often get desperate for backups, I’ll go optimistic and say he probably gets another two or so years to see if he can be that. Which will be hilarious for whatever team that is (it’ll be this one) because he is very clearly NOT that. I’m setting the over under for him at 55.5. What do you got?

– I’m out of questions, but I have some more thoughts. Sam put on Twitter tonight that sitting Toews is the best outcome for the pro-tank people, like myself. That’s pretty obvious. The only way it could get more tank-y would be to sit Keith as I said before, or maybe Kane, but I doubt either wants to play along, and I certainly am not about to give Kane any longer of an offseason than he deserves (don’t forget, we’re three years since his last act of menace, so we’re on pace for another one). But I’m not sure how much actual value is in that. Even if you get to 4th-to-last place, you’re only improving your draft odds by about 1.5%. Maybe giving Keith the rest is worth it, if he wants it, but I think even with him in the lineup this team is bad enough to slip, and teams like Detroit, Monteal, and Ottawa will probably fuck up by going on a run to close the year out. So basically what I’m after here is, leave Toews out, see if Keith wants to sit, and start praying to whichever diety you follow that the ping pong balls go our way.

– To close out on a high note, I want to wish my sincere congratulations and well wishes to Eddie Olczyk on him kicking cancer’s ass. Having a few family members who have done it, as well as a friend and co-worker here in Rose, it makes me happy as hell to hear every time someone tells cancer to get fucked. I am very happy for Edzo and hope for only good health for him in the future. And on a selfish level, the less Steve Konroyd we have to deal with, the better. Fuck Cancer.

Everything Else

Game #74 – Can Someone Tell Me When Something Good Became So Bad – Hawks 1, Avalanche 5

By John Pullega 1989 0

Box Score

Hockey Stats

Natural Stat Trick

The last three minutes of this game were the most pathetic display of hockey I’ve seen from the Hawks all year. The Hawks are officially and mercifully out of playoff contention. To the bullets.

– Let’s get the worst part out of the way. The last two goals the Hawks gave up were the direct result of defensemen flat out giving up. First, Seabrook watched the puck roll into the net on the empty netter. He half-assed his way back toward the puck as it exited the Avs’s zone, and only started busting it when he realized it was going to go in. A guy with his lack of speed cannot half-ass his way back to anything. Whether the Hawks had any shot at coming back is irrelevant. That sort of lack of effort would get anyone else (e.g., Connor Murphy) benched, but since he managed the Hawks’s only goal, and he’s Brent Seabrook, he’ll be right back out there Thursday. Unless he was hurt from the Comeau hit, his effort was simply unacceptable, especially with the “A” on his sweater.

Then, Oesterle found himself strolling back on the last goal after jumping into the play on the offensive end, watching Kerfoot pot an uncontested shot while he trailed like an unwanted puppy. Of all the things the Hawks have done this year, the last three minutes of this game may have been the most embarrassing.

– The whole giving up at the end thing really tarnished what was an otherwise decent effort. The Hawks clobbered the Avs in possession, posting 65+ CF%s in the second and third but, as is wont to happen when they play Varlamov, they simply couldn’t find the net. With the game still in reach, the Hawks managed to hit a post and Landeskog’s stick before the puck squirted out of the blue paint. At least some things never change, and horsing the Avs in possession and still losing looks like it’ll always be that shitty totem we go back to.

– Patrick Kane put his entire ass into this game for the most part. He was flying around the ice and drew so much attention on the PP that Seabrook managed a half slapper all by himself for the Hawks’s only goal. And even though Varlamov stopped it, watching Kane wind up for a FUCK YOU slapshot in the third was kind of cathartic.

– Whatever offensive upside Gustafsson has is buried by his complete inability to do anything right on defense. His whiff on a clearing attempt in the blue paint in the second nearly cost the Hawks a goal. He took a completely unnecessary icing penalty in the first. Then, also in the first, after jumping in on the play and taking a shot, he failed to get back, leaving Seabrook all by himself on a 2 on 1. Oh, and he had the lowest Corsi for the Hawks tonight, with a 42+ at evens. The team rate was a 58+. Bravo.

– And Seabrook was right behind him. I get that this year is now officially lost, and so it’s time to experiment a bit. But there’s no doubt that Gustafsson and Seabrook absolutely cannot play together regularly. Gustafsson is too reckless and unaware, and Seabrook is too slow and apparently unmotivated to cover. If this is the second pairing next year, then Rocky’s going to have to get off his fat ass and make some phone calls.

– After clubbing the MacKinnon line in the first, Saad–Toews–Kane fell apart. Each ended below water in possession for the game, despite a strong performance against the MacKinnon line on the night. And Saad looked either nonplussed or uninterested for most of the night, especially on the Avs’s second goal. While MacKinnon’s patience was the key to that goal, watching Saad sort of float in the Royal Road while MacKinnon stick handled in anticipation for a lane surely didn’t inspire confidence. He, more than anyone, needs next year to be here.

The only thing to worry about over the rest of this year is preventing injuries and seeing what the younger guys can do. I’ll be keeping an eye on Schmaltz, Vinnie, Kampf, Top Cat, Saad (pray for Mojo), and Murphy.

Just eight more, then this nightmare is over.

Beer du Jour: Left Hand Milk Stout and Guinness

Line of the Night: “He has one of the longest sticks and he uses it so well.” –Peter McNab describing Alex DeBrincat, who, despite being named the Player of the Year by the Blackhawks, continues to play on the third line with Artem Fucking Anisimov and Tomas Motherfucking Jurco.

Everything Else

Friday Thoughts: Gustafsson, Rutta, And Last Night’s Pummeling

By Sam Fels 2189 0

It’s been a couple days so we should get to it. Whatever your list is of grievances that you’d like to air by firing Stan Bowman, if you have one, you can add two more.

I’m sure the Hawks thought it would slip under the radar, and it kind of did because everything they do these days slips under the radar because almost all of the city doesn’t give a flying fuck about them anymore. Either way, the Hawks re-signed both Eric Gustafsson and Jan Rutta to extensions, and combined they will cost $3.5 million combined next year.

I’m going to try and be reasonable about this….

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS???!!!!

Now that that’s out, let’s get to it. There’s really no other way to dress this. Both Eric Gustafsson and Jan Rutta suck. They might not be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked, but they’re not far from the team photo. Neither one of these guys will ever rise to the level of anything more than a third-pairing d-man.

For literally no reason, Stan Bowman doubled Gustafsson’s salary. All he had to offer him was about 700K. Now, you might think the difference of about $500K really isn’t worth worrying about, but as we’ve seen, every dollar counts in a cap era, even if the cap goes up. And Gustafsson has shown nothing to warrant being offered much more than a pointed finger to the door. If he were going to provide offensive spark, we would have seen it by now. He’s 25 and basically never really flashed in the NHL. How much longer are you going to wait? And who was Stan bidding against? Who was coming to save Gustafsson from Chicago?

The Rutta one is even more baffling. He can’t regularly crack the lineup even after the trade of Michal Kempny, and yet you just hand him $2.3 million? What is it he does? Is Stan so fixated by the fact he’s been able to spasm six goals into the net and no one else on the blue line can find the right zip code with their shots? Again, what was Rutta going to get on the open market?

Here’s a list of UFA d-men you could probably get for $2.3 million this summer: Calvin de Haan, Cody Ceci, Luca Sbisa, John Moore, maybe Thomas Hickey, Dalton Prout, the aforementioned Kempny. Most of these guys suck, and yet all of them are better than Rutta.

It’s not like Stan hasn’t been able to admit a mistake. Fuck, he just traded Ryan Hartman and he wasn’t a mistake (and I’m fairly sure that trade is going to work out as having “sucked”). I have no idea why he’s doubling down on these two, but if it costs the Hawks a higher quality free agent this summer or a trade, it honestly probably should be the final nail in his coffin.

-I don’t think we can state long enough and hard enough just how pathetic the Hawks top players were last night. And you can toss out all the caveats you want–Canes are more desperate, they’ve always been a good possession team, blah blah blah–to have Corsi marks under 20% you actually have to try to do so.

I try and reserve myself about games where the Hawks haven’t looked like they care. Losing teams always look “flat,” or at least do most of the time. But the Hawks are a good possession team, or at least they have been. And for their top line and top pairing to simply get skulled by a team that doesn’t actually have a top line is simply unacceptable. You can’t say they were all there, or fully focused, to be that bad.

I can’t ask this team much more than to actually just show up and finish out the season professionally. Last night was anything but. That falls squarely on the leadership. They’re not going to fire Toews and Keith and Seabrook as captains, at least I doubt it. So you know where that goes. But I’m guessing Rocky and McD are too chickenshit to let that happen, nor do they have the scruples to replace Stan competently (which would involve probably firing Q anyway). So if the Hawks don’t care now, why am I going to assume they will next year at this time after another seven months of listening to a coach’s voice it’s becoming more and more apparent they’ve tired of?

Everything Else

Game #65 – Iron from ice – Hawks 5, Kings 3

By Adam Hess 2106 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

In the interest of full disclosure, I missed like 50 minutes of this game. I forgot it was a day game and I had work. However, I really saw all I needed to see, based on early reports from the game not much happened. But those last 12-ish minutes that I did see were very good. Let’s dig in, breaking down the four goals I witnessed after turning it on at 3-1:

– I cannot tell you how much joy I got out of turning on the television to see Drew Doughty being led to the penalty box only to throw a fucking temper tantrum because his little shitstained diaper hadn’t been properly changed. He slammed his helmet and whined at the referee, earning a second penalty and giving the Hawks 4 minutes of penalty time. They didn’t do much with the first half of it, but were able to keep at it and eventually Wide Dick slammed home a one timer off a rebound to make it 3-2.

– The next goal was a direct result, in my opinion, of Nick Schamltz being really fucking good at hockey. He got a long, cross ice pass floated to him near chest height, which he expertly knocked down with control. Then, being alone in the zone, he slowed up and evaluated the ice with his SuperMan vision (no I am not being hyperbolic) while letting his teammates get up ice, before making a good pass for Dahlstrom to hit a one timer toward the net. That resulted in a really terrible clear attempt by something called Derek Forbort, which fell right to Vinnie Hinnie and he squeaked it through Jonathan Quick’s five hole. Yeah it took a little help, but none of it is possible if Schmaltz doesn’t knock down that tough pass, then have the presence of mind to wait for his teammates and giving Dahlstrom a nice pass to hit toward the net. 3-3.

– I don’t know what got into the power play tonight, but I kid you not they scored two power play goals in one period in this game. I am not entirely sure if it was on purpose, but Kane and Toews found themselves flipped in the formation, with Toews on the right board in one-timer position while Kane was weak side. Kane got the puck at the half board and fucked around with it as he wont to do on the power play, and must admit I loudly groaned while watching him fiddle with it with seemingly no plan. But then, miraculously, he actually waited a passing lane open, and fed Toews with a nice little cross ice pass. Toews settled it for a beat before firing past Quick low blocker side. 4-3.

– The fifth goal was an empty netter that was hilarious because #1 Kane absolutely did not have to put it home. He was all alone on a “breakaway” with just 3 seconds left, but he put it in the net anyway with 2.9 seconds remaining which is just great. But the Kings then wet their diapers even more, as they are known for, with Anze Kopitar, Drew Doughty, and Jonathan Quick (who wasn’t even on the ice!) slamming their sticks in such embarrassing fashion you could actually hear audible gasps from the Staples Center crowd on the television. 5-3.

– Just to circle back, the Hawks whole comeback was the result of known fuckstick and giant pissbaby Drew Doughty shitting his diaper in the penalty box because he wasn’t happy he was sent to timeout. That is extremely my shit. I am still in favor of the quasi-tank, but beating the Kings like this, and having it be a result of Doughty being a baby, is so satisfying.

– Another takeaway from this game – that didn’t look like a team that has quit on it’s coach. After a truly shitty second period when they gave up 3 goals, they could’ve taken their ball and gone home. They battled. Don’t count Q out of that job just yet.

Everything Else

Game #64 – Hawks vs. Sharks Douchebag Du Jour: Unfortunately Familiar

By Adam Hess 1751 0

There is no pleasure in writing about an NHL winger named Kane who has had sexual assault allegations brought against him in the past. I certainly don’t envy the position Sharks fans are in here one bit – when the Hawks stood by Garbage Dick you saw it coming because you knew they wouldn’t abandon their star child and face of their franchise. He was already here and given his status you knew he wasn’t going anywhere. In some sense, you could understand it, no matter how much it made your skin crawl.

But I imagine there is somehow a more gross feeling when your team actually goes out and acquires an individual like this. It’s one thing to stand by a player you already have when he reveals himself as a fuckstick, but it’s entirely another to invite one a fuckstick into town knowing full well he is a fuckstick. And as we around here have experienced, trying to analyze and cover a player like Kane (take your pick which one I am referencing) is a delicate balancing act, and sucks a good bit of the fun out of doing this.

Part of that balancing act is just being able to break down the actual hockey of a player like this. Both Kane’s are good players, and hockey-wise this is a good move for a the Sharks to get Evander for their playoff push. But trying to engage in that side of it objectively when you feel negatively about them personally is really hard. Fear The Fin editor Sie Morley bravely and excellently articulates what her vision is for doing so, and I think her plan the right one. It’s pretty much the approach I’ve taken personally, and this blog has taken as a whole.

So welcome, Shark fans, to the club of fans whose teams have deciding selling their souls for hockey results is a defensible move. It’s fucking miserable here.

 

Game #64 Preview

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

Game #61 We Could Talk or Not Talk for Hours – Hawks 2, Senators 2 (Hawks Win Ice Dancing Long Program)

By Rose Rankin 1736 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

It’s a good thing this game started at 7, because honestly, staying awake through this crapfest was hard enough—had it gone any longer I, and probably most of the people who showed up at the UC, wouldn’t have made it. You would think that a game with back-and-forth scoring that went to a ridiculously drawn-out shootout would be an exciting affair, but you would be wrong. Except for brief flashes of effort, neither team really looked like they half a shit. The level of play was equally lackadaisical and as exciting as one would expect because of that. To the bullets:

–The shootout went on for what felt like 14 rounds, and fortunately Schmaltz’s goal was enough to eke out the win. Anton Forsberg actually had a good game, despite giving up goals right after the Hawks had scored (neither of which were entirely his fault, as usual). He made clutch saves on Marion Gaborik, who inexplicably came to life in the third, and he made just enough stops in the shootout. He finished with a .941 SV% and even got to be the second star of the game, which warmed my cold, blackened heart.

–Out of the sleepwalking there were other guys who had a decent night. Carl Dahlstrom played mostly intelligently at the blue line, and he ended the night with a 52.6 CF% while taking 55% of his starts in his own zone. Top Cat of course scored a shootout goal that should have ended the game, and well before that he made excellent passes that would have been assists had they been to anyone more competent than Brent Seabrook and Ryan Hartman.

–Patrick Kane was involved in both goals: on the first, Our Cousin Vinny made a pass that was spot on, and Kane picked up his own rebound; on the second he assisted on Wide Dick’s goal where Arty managed to sneak behind Karlsson. But, both times the Hawks scored they gave it right back all too quickly, and Kane also stood by and literally watched as Duchene sped past him and scored the tying goal, so there was that. His shootout goal was appreciated, but don’t go thinking Kane’s give-a-shit meter was anywhere above the “Ah, fuck it” level.

–The power play remained dismal, with their only two chances being entirely useless.

–Overall, it was a back-and-forth of two bad teams, where one just sucked a little bit less than the other. However, we have to cherish each win because who knows when another one may come along. The Hawks have gotten beat by shitty teams enough times this season; if we can be on the other end of it for once, we should appreciate it. And hey, maybe some teams were impressed with Anisimov’s goal and will put more thought towards taking that contract off our hands. A girl can dream…