Everything Else

Wrecked Up And Paralyzed, Desert Dogs Are Sableized – Coyotes vs Hawks Preview, Insurance Audit

By 1333

nathan-arizona vs. Hawk Wrestler

RECORDS: Coyotes 8-12-4  Hawks 16-8-3

PUCK DROP: 7:30pm

TV: CSN

LOTTA STORIES IN THE DESERT: Five For Howling

Projected Lineups

coyotes-lineup-card

blackhawks-lineup-card

SCORE-ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Coyotes- 44.0 (30th)  Hawks – 50.1 (15th)

SCORE-ADJUSTED xGF %: Coyotes – 39.5 (30th)  Hawks – 47.4 (24th)

POWER PLAY %: Coyotes – 15.3 (21st)  Hawks – 15.7 (19th)

PENALTY KILL %: Coyotes – 80.8 (21st) Hawks – 70.7 (dead ass last)

If the Hawks could schedule it themselves, and really given the pull they have with the league they may want to try it, they’d schedule the Yotes four or five times while they’re without  Toews and Crawford. Because curveballs don’t hang much worse than this, and it’s boosted with the Coyotes having played last night in Ohio. Whatever is ailing the Hawks, this is how you medicate it.

Everything Else

You Again?: Flames at Hawks Preview/Dog Grooming

By 1293

flames atlanta vs. Hawk Wrestler

RECORDS: Flames 4-5-1   Hawks 5-3-1

PUCK DROP: 7:30pm

TV: CSN

TEGAN AND SARA FANS: Flamesnation.ca

Projected Lineups

flames-lineup-card

blackhawks-lineup-card

SCORE-ADJUSTED CF%: Flames – 49.0 (20th)  Hawks – 51.4 (10th)

POWER PLAY%: Flames – 10.8 (27th)  Hawks – 23.7 (10th)

PENALTY KILL%: Flames – 72.1 (28th)  Hawks – still bad but climbing!

TRENDS: Gaudreau has four points in his last three games…Elliot has a .941 SV% is last four starts

In another brilliant piece of NHL scheduling, the Flames return to the United Center for the second time in eight days, after having to return home in between because Calgary is just right around the corner. Oh, and after flying out here from Alberta they’ll turn around to head to California right after this one. That’s some excellent work there.

Anyway, much like the Hawks the Flames come into this one starting to cure, at the very slightest, some of the problems that affected the opening weeks of the season.

Everything Else

If You Know The Name Of The King Being Assassinated: Kings at Hawks Preview/Trust Fall

By 1345

JerryLawler_crop_exact vs. Hawk Wrestler

GAMETIME: 6pm

TV: CSN

NOBODY’S WALKIN’: The Royal Half

RECORDS: Kings 4-4-0  Hawks 4-3-1

Projected Lineups

kings-lineup-card

blackhawks-lineup-card

SCORE ADJUSTED CF%: Kings – 56.0 (1st)  Hawks – 51.4 (10th)

POWER PLAY: Kings – 17.5% (20th)  Hawks – 22.6% (13th)

PENALTY KILL: Kings –  77.8% (21st)  Hawks – Let’s not even

TRENDS: Kings have five players with a CF% of 60.0+… Zatkoff gave up five goals on 16 shots his last outing

It used to be this would raise everyone’s eyebrows when seen on the calendar. But these days, it only takes one first-round exit for both at the same time, the first West final to not feature either in five years, and suddenly it feels like we’re harkening back to something in the past to feel the rivalry between these two teams. Both getting off to somewhat wonky starts probably doesn’t help either.

Everything Else

Maybe They’re Lookin’ For Answers – C.I.’s Season Preview: Can Patrick Kane Repeat Last Year?

By 1393

Well, probably not. But these posts can’t be three words long.

It’s amazing what can happen for a player like Kane when he gets an actual line with which to play. After spending years with the likes of Michal Handzus and Andrew Shaw and Kris Versteeg or centering a line or whatever other jokers and punters the Hawks could drudge up rather than just playing him with Toews, Kane got Brad Richards two years ago and finally a center and other winger in Panarin and Anisimov. It resulted in an Art Ross and Hart Trophy.

And the Hawks needed all of it with Saad and Sharp gone, Hossa falling off, Toews not being able to produce a top line’s production all by himself, and basically no bottom six for most of the season. The problem for the Hawks is that they might find themselves in the same bind again this year. And this time, other teams are not going to be fooled by the names of Toews or Hossa and leave their best out against them instead of Kane’s line.

Everything Else

Fishing In The Clearance Bin At Some Tragic Casual Corner

By 1633

“…and it’s sort of comical how you think you’ve made a choice that exempts you from an NHL forward when in fact, you’ll be playing the forwards selected by the very people in this room from this pile of stuff.”

-Miranda Priestly, or at least she should have

Let’s get something out of the way right at the top. Jiri Hudler was not a make-or-break player for the Hawks. He was not the difference between them winning a Cup and them not. They would almost certainly need one more forward or two even if he signed here. But he might have been the difference between gaining an automatic playoff spot and fighting for a wild card, which could mean something and which might not.

However, the Hawks not having $2 million to scrape together to get a player pretty desperate for a job tells you the dire straits they are in. While some Hawks fans would love to believe that A) the Hawks didn’t really want Hudler or anyone else and B) this was all part of the grand plan, that is simply foolishness. If the Hawks didn’t want Hudler they’re simply wrong, whatever his flaws. They are short two proven forwards on the top six, and if we put Hossa with Toews to make up that gap then there are two holes on Kruger’s wing on the third line and in the West you have to have a top 9 at minimum. As for a plan, well, the Hawks are making it up with what they have to, thanks to holding on to somethings for longer and more money than they should have. But we’ve been over that and over that.

Everything Else

Mile High Poaching

By 1392

And no, that’s to referring to cashing out the last of the bowl on a trip to Vail while Tyler and The Bros aren’t paying attention.

Late last night Mike Chambers of the Denver Post reported that Blackhawks assistant coach Kevin Dineen interviewed with Joe Sakic and Avs brass for upwards of three-and-a-half hours, and is a finalist for the job vacated by intractable asswipe Patrick Roy along with Bob Boughner. And potentially losing Dineen behind the Hawks’ bench would be decidedly bad for the organ-I-zation on a lot of fronts.

Everything Else

Culture Club

By 1538

There is a part of me that wants to turn this into a Canadiens blog for next season because their implosion is going to be utterly hilarious to witness and I’m probably going to want to laugh at it every single day. I won’t do that, but I will take the chance to chew up and spit out the latest piece of drivel that GM Marc Bergevin had spill out of that orifice in the front of his face. It was simply more ass covering. Let’s get the quote in full, just to admire how deep in his own excrement he’s actually launched himself:

“Two Stanley Cups in five years. I like guys who don’t like to lose. Everybody likes to win, everybody’s happy when you win. I want guys, when you lose, it gets them inside. It hurts. And then you go back to work the next day.

 I don’t want a guy who walks out of the rink thinking, “Everything is cute, everything is fine even though we lost the game, life goes on.” Yeah, life goes on, but I want guys who feel hurt by a loss. It’s the culture that I want. It’s the Chicago culture, that’s what I want.

Andrew Shaw has it. I was in Chicago long enough to know they don’t take losing with a grain of salt. I want guys who don’t like to lose.”

That’s nice. It’s also utter bullshit.

Everything Else

Please Stop With Panik Silliness And Other Assorted Thoughts

By 1710

The combination of Prospects’ Camp at Johnny’s West and then the Convention not too far behind it is the last oasis for Hawks’ thoughts and goofiness before the doldrums of August hit. Even that will be cut a little short this time with the World Cup teams getting together to start training in August (and everyone seeing just how bad this US team is going to be which is just hilarious). This is the last time before training camp that all the beat writers are together covering hockey, which means they’re getting bombarded with a lot of inane and silly questions. And there’s one that’s been popping up ever since the season started that really has to stop.

I don’t know how to be any clearer on this: If Richard Panik is on your top six, your top six sucks.

Everything Else

It Keeps Getting Funnier Every Single Time I Hear It

By 2219

If only that were true.

Yesterday’s signing of Jordin Tootoo continues a trend which the Hawks themselves keeps having to disprove to themselves pretty much every single season. Before we delve further, let’s be clear that Tootoo is no guarantee to make the team, or to play regularly. However, there is the trend that Joel Quenneville has of trying to prove just how much smarter he is than everyone who has coached a player like this before. At least until the spring when he stops when someone locks in a room full of smelling salts and he comes to and actually starts playing a proper lineup (sometimes this doesn’t happen until May or June).

Let’s take a ride, shall we?

Everything Else

About This Time Of Night, 51 Phantom Gets To Feelin’ Right

By 1389

This was just about the worst kept secret around here in a while. The only question for the Hawks and Brian Campbell was just how cheaply they could bring him back. $2 mildo and the answer is, “pretty fucking cheap.” I hope Beavis and Butthead in the booth don’t pull a muscle having to backtrack all the things they said about him since he left.

In case you don’t watch the Panthers much, and there really wasn’t much reason you should unless you’re demented like me, Campbell spent the past two years playing with Aaron Ekblad and the two of them basically kicked the competition’s nuts up into their throat. They were +5.2 and +5.7% relative in Corsi to the rest of the Panthers, with pretty evenly split zone starts. Gudbranson and Mitchell (for some reason) took on the toughest competition most of the time for the Cats, but Campbell isn’t going to have to worry about doing that here either.