Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 9: When The Chips Are Down, They’ll Eat Each Other

By Sam Fels 1652 0

Let’s just dive right in because I want to get right to it.

Bruins 3 – Toronto Red Sox 1 (BOS leads 3-1)

That’s what they’ve become. The Leafs are now the pre-2004 Red Sox. It’s not enough for them to lose because quite simply they’re not good enough and have been just a little strangely put together. Because the Red Sox rolled out some good, not great, teams from the late 90s to the early 2000s, ones that could make the playoffs, but ones that were never near good enough to beat the Yankees or even Cleveland.

No, it’s about how their fans and media demand to be center stage, so that they make sure everyone can see just how tortured they are and how make it clear just how much everyone hates them when really we just want them to shut up. Their coverage spikes because they’re the most followed team, and when they’re done (which is very soon) the story isn’t about who will win the Cup but about what will the Leafs do in the offseason. And they’re sure you care, and if you don’t they’ll make sure that you do, and if you still don’t then clearly there’s something wrong with you. It’s become where the league simply exists to be a platform for the Leafs. Everything is against them don’t you know, even when everything is for them.

Recall one of the thousands of cheap Family Guy cutaways about two guys writing on their laptops in a coffee shop. And more than concern with actually writing, they constantly check to make sure the other is watching them write so that it’s clear they are writers to the other. That’s Leafs fans, except it’s stabbing themselves in the chests figuratively (and I can only hope it stays figuratively). “Is everyone watching me cut my heart out? Because that’s what it’s like being a Leafs fan! Are you watching? See how I’m bleeding? Are you watching how hard this is. It’s so hard can’t you see?!”

Quite simply, the Leafs got goalie’d last night, nothing more nothing less. And it happens. It happens when your masked man is Freddie Andersen, who has years of evidence that he’s just not quite up to it when the lights are brightest that THE NATION just chose to ignore. Rask’s pedigree is so far beyond him it’s laughable. In pretty much every series, each team will have a game where they get goalie’d. It’s why sweeps are so rare. It’s getting beyond that which is the true test.

It didn’t stop their coach from calling out his star, who only put up a 65% share last night, and chumming the waters for his braindead fanbase. I can only hope Auston Matthews sees all this and decides this is bullshit he doesn’t need for his career and asks out. It’s what Leafs fans would deserve.

They’d all rather be watching the Marlies anyway.

Capitals 4 – Jackets 1 (Tied 2-2)

When playing a team as mentally fragile as the Capitals, and you have them down 2-0 and heading home, and after they’d blown leads in the first two games, you wouldn’t think you’d come out and be on the tame side in front of your own crowd that’s never seen you win a series. But then, you’re not John Tortorella. If the Jackets lose this series he should be canned before they even leave the arena, but I doubt that’ll happen.

While the Jackets don’t have the world’s greatest set of forwards, with a team this much on the mat you’d send out your stall to tear into what is still no a great Caps blue line. Trade chances with them if you have to, because once Ovechkin is off the ice what really scares you? Get the Caps down early, get your building into a frenzy, because we know Washington needs only the slightest push to decide they’ve had enough. But no, that’s not how Torts works when he’s focused on getting everyone to block shots.

Honestly, I hope the Caps win this series. They took enough shit in the first two games and a third straight pile-driver to the Penguins would be even more entertaining. Or finally getting over them would be too. Either way, it’s clear we don’t need Columbus around.

Everything Else

You Get What Anyone Gets: Saying Goodbye To The Anaheim Ducks

By Sam Fels 2064 0

It used to be tradition that playoff exits were complimented by eulogies on Puck Daddy. But with Wysh off in the Connecticut hinterlands and those who remain at Yahoo! being a bunch of Canadian giblets who take things far too seriously (and Lambert being angry and definitely not a Bruins fan), we don’t need them to do what we do best. So fuck it. We’ll eulogize all 15 teams that will eventually fall. Today, perhaps our favorite target…

Here’s a stat for you: Four games, no goals, 25 shots.

That’s what Ryan Kesler, Corey Perry, and Ryan Getzlaf put up in their four-game surrender to the San Jose Sharks this past week. And that’s still what the Ducks forward group pivots around. It would seem their 2011-2013 Canucks cosplay is now complete, and we can look forward to the Ducks fading into Bolivia next year. Hey, Alain Vigneault is available!

And I get the impression that’s what they would prefer. We used to greatly enjoy the Ducks yearly capitulation in Game 7s at home, after leading 3-2. Then we marveled at it. Then we just accepted it as a rite of spring, right alongside canceled home games for the Cubs and Sox, summer beers hitting the shelves, and maybe one pothole in your zip code getting fixed.

But I figured something out watching this team last night. They want to lose. They don’t want to be in Orange County any longer than they have to. Think about it. You can’t lose that many series from winning positions unless deep down somewhere inside of you that’s really what you want. There are no accidents, Freud. Which tells you just how bad the Oilers have to be because even with the Ducks actively trying to end their own season, the Oilers couldn’t walk through the very opened door.

Go back and look in their faces. They hate being Ducks. Because really, what’s the appeal? Oh sure, the sun and warmth? Would you really trade that to have to live in Anaheim? It’s San Diego without the whimsy. And San Diego is just Boston without the winter or unique architecture. And Boston SUCKS. And aside from the fish tacos and craft beer, San Diego sucks. So imagine being in a worse version all the time, and stuck in traffic. Choosing which mini mall you’ll shop at today. Cuisine that at its height features Del Taco. You play in a soulless building in front of perhaps the dumbest per capita fanbase in the league (as there are only like 19 Ducks fans). You have to wear a jersey that looks like something people thrown out of Tron wore. You play for  a coach who couldn’t make toast and makes anyone who completes two consecutive passes skate laps or drink canola oil. And he replaced a coach whose tactical plan consisted of a picture of The Little Engine That Could.  Nothing you ever do will matter. You claim a parking lot as your home. You’re second banana to a baseball team that hasn’t mattered in over a decade.

Thanks to a fluke championship where they also happened to lead the league in fights, the entire organization and fans think that if the Ducks aren’t fighting they’re losing. So everywhere you go some jackass in socks and sandals and a backwards and upside down visor is telling you to fight more when you can’t score. You’re always answering for Corey Perry’s and Ryan Kesler’s shit, even though they can’t play anymore. You’re watching Ryan Getzlaf barely enter the offensive zone for fear he might injure his check-endorsing hand. What’s the point?

Even Kesler doesn’t want to anymore. If you watched him enter any scrum last night you saw a guy doing what he thought he was supposed to from memory. The passion wasn’t there. He was just following a script. He wanted to go back home…the abandoned boathouse among the possums he calls his family. Whatever life-force he had has circled the drain round the 405 like the rest of the place.

It’s not that this team is old, though it is in spots. It’s not that it has holes in the roster, though it does. It’s that just that even being a Duck has robbed them of life. Whatever light they had has gone out. They don’t care anymore, and they won’t until the roster is completely turned over. And moved to Portland or Hamilton. Anaheim has robbed this team of any soul, to match the setting it plays in. This is a team that wants to fold in on itself. It wants to die. It wants to no longer exist.

So you’ve got your wish for another year, Ducks. But I’m sorry to say, for all of us, that you’ll have to do it all again in October. And it will be even more pointless than before. No one’s coming to put you out of your misery permanently. You’ll have to keep doing this, in the diseased prostate of California, forever. There is no escape.

 

Everything Else

Well Pilgrim, Not Until You Eat The Peanuts Outta My… -FFUD’s Player Reviews: Duncan Keith or Diminishing Flash

By Sam Fels 1802 0

Duncan Keith had a couple things going for him this year, in terms of not being the subject of the hairdryer treatment from fans and media alike that Seabrook, Saad, and Toews got. One, Seabrook soaked up most of it amongst the d-men, mostly because Seabrook’s contract was never a bargain which Keith’s has been for a decade now. Or was. Second, Keith has never been put center of the Hawks marketing blitz like Toews has, nor has he show much motivation to be so. While he was the most important skater for the Hawks for said decade, and he was, he’s never been covered or treated that way, even though his silverware cabinet eclipses that of any of his teammates and most players in the NHL (to review: three rings, two Norris Trophies, two gold medals, and a Conn Smythe, the only Hawk who actually got the Conn Smythe he deserved).

So even though Keith has clearly hit the back nine on his career, the knives for him aren’t nearly as sharp. And they probably shouldn’t be. Let’s dive in, folks:

Duncan Keith

82 games (first time he’s done that since 2011), 2 goals, 30 assists, 32 points, -29, 28 PIM

51.8 CF%, 0.73 CF% rel, 51.3 SCF%, 47.1 xGF%, -3.57 xGF% rel

So if I were to map out the numbers over the previous five years, you would see that yes, these are lower than what Keith used to do, but they’re not really that far off what he was doing in 2016-2017. That’s when he was mostly paired with Hjalmarsson, they were taking the hardest shifts in terms of opponents and zone starts, and both of them were starting to creak rather loudly.

Here’s the scary part of Keith’s numbers this year, though. It’s with a huge uptick in offensive zone starts. This year Keith’s Zone Start Rating–the measure offensive zone starts against total starts–was 59.2. Last year it was 52.3. So even with start many more shifts in the offensive zone, Keith wasn’t really pushing the play at all. That’s a problem.

Another problem was finding someone to play with Keith. At this point in his career, Keith needs someone to do some of the work for him. He can’t be the ultimate defensive guy and squeeze the play up the ice as he had done in the past, with either Seabrook or Hjalmarsson basically being the “Break Glass In Case Of…” guy behind him. Most of his time was spent with Jordan Oesterle, who we know is basically a faint suggestion of anything. Oesterle is basically the blank slate you get when you Create-a-Player, before you earn any points to improve him. Even though they went back to it at the end of the season. Brent Seabrook simply isn’t up to it anymore. The pairing with Connor Murphy just didn’t quite work, which had to have been the blueprint before the season started. Then again, they only got about 10 games together, so it’s probably worth trying again next year.

A lot was made of Keith’s lonely two goals (one of which kept the Blues out of the playoffs so that should count for like 10, if not 100). What’s kind of funny is that Keith got more attempts per game, more shots on goal per game, and more xG per game than in his previous seasons. He just shot an utterly unfathomable and really quite comedic 1% overall. Even for a d-man that’s…I mean I think the adjectives are beyond me. Farcical would be a good place to start. Seuessian might be another. Some of that has to be a result of starting in the offensive zone more than ever before.

The thing is Keith has never been a great offensive d-man. And that sounds strange for a two-time Norris winner and has a few 50+ point seasons to his name. But Keith’s offense, as we’ve said repeatedly, springs from his defense. He’s not Karlsson. He’s not Subban. He’s not Hedman. He would stop rushes against at his own blue line or before, get the puck up to the forwards ASAP and then join the rush. He would be the late-man or rack up secondary assists. He’s not really, nor has never been, a playmaker.

So next year you can look for his point totals to go up simply because HOCKEY. But that doesn’t mean the Hawks can count on him to be a top-pairing puck-mover ever again. He’s not going to be. To go with the numbers, you could see that the plays Keith used to make, and the ones you wouldn’t necessarily teach, he couldn’t quite get to anymore. He couldn’t step up outside his blue line as consistently anymore because he could get beat to the outside. He couldn’t chase outside the circles in his own zone because more and more forwards could get around him. He couldn’t fly out to the corners in the same way because he wouldn’t get there in time or he’d get beat back to the net.

That’s not to write off Keith at all. His instincts are still upper echelon. What he needs is to find a way to shrink his game, and to do that the Hawks are going to have to find him a partner who allows him to. It has to be someone mobile, because you want someone who can cover for Keith and not the other way around. It has to be someone who can get up the ice the way Keith used to, and it has to be stressed to Duncs that he’s just not that guy anymore. Murphy in theory can do the first part but not really the second. Gustafsson is too wonky in his own end to do the first part. If Jokiharju were two years older, he has the skillset to be that guy. But he’s not going to be ready for that. Forsling has the Gustafsson problem. The answer is going to have to come from outside the organization. I just don’t know what that answer is, and know it most likely will be very expensive in terms of either money, chips in a trade, or both.

But then…all of Karlsson, OEL, and Faulk are probably going to be out there in the trade market…I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 8: California Is Burning

By Sam Fels 1859 0

Let’s all shed a tear for SoCal hockey. Because they love being called “SoCal.” Anyway, now that that’s over…

Penguins 5 – Flyers 0 (PIT leads 3-1)

Only in hockey would it basically go under the radar that the Flyers rock-person defenseman Radko Gudas…

Injured their #1 center in practice! Sure, they’re all calling it an accident but there was video of it and it sure didn’t look all that accidental. Gudas, who thinks toothpaste comes out of the tube via magic, who can’t do anything but put other players in danger, kneecapped his own team’s chances in practice! We’re talkin’ bout practice! Imagine if like…fuck I don’t even know what to compare it to…Tristan Thompson tripping LeBron James? Ok, Sean Couturier isn’t LeBron on ice or anything close.

The point is that in Philly, this is just the price of doing business. Flyers fans don’t seem to care, because they either think their players are supposed to do Medieval Times for real in practice or that the Flyers are just such a ridiculous entity that of course their d-man who sets the sport back a decade is going to injure their #1 center because FLYERA. What a team. What a city. Maybe they’re still drunk from the Iggles (maybe?!).

Anyway, the Flyers are done and the Penguins are more fun anyway.

Lightning 3 – Devils 1 (TB Diddler’s lead 3-1)

This series is still taking place in the dark, but if you missed it they did try and kill each other last night. Nikita Kucherov probably should get whacked for a game for his hit on Sami Vatanen, which if you missed, and the Devils spent the rest of the night trying to exact a pound of flesh. Which really isn’t their strength. And the Lightning just skipped off with the space. This will end soon, which is fine because the Devils aren’t supposed to really be here in the arc of their development anyway. At least Taylor Hall got the spotlight.

Predators 3 – Avalanche 2 (NSH leads 3-1)

Just outclassed. Filip Forsberg can probably do this himself, even if it never feels like the Preds have hit anywhere near top gear. They did enough in the first two periods to demonstrate what a mismatch this is, considering what the Avs are and what they’re missing. The Avs did mount a furious comeback but when you’re there that’s rarely going to work. Let’s get to what we’ve all been waiting for.

Ducks 1 – Sharks 2 (Sharks sweep)

I’ll have more on this in the Ducks eulogy later today, but safe to say no one’s going to miss the Ducks. Even the Ducks. The Sharks are just an efficient team built to win a round or two but then job for one of the powers out of the Central. Then again, you can see them giving the Preds or Jets a real problem simply from memory because they’ve done this so much. It’s a very good blue line that’s fully healthy, Jones is playing really well, and if Thornton returns and THEY KEEP PAVELSKI AT CENTER WHAT’S SO HARD ABOUT THIS then they’ve got real depth. It feels like it’s very Sharks-depth though, where it’s just enough to break their fans’ hearts again. But that’s their way.

Everything Else

You Get What Anyone Gets: Saying Goodbye To The LA Kings

By Sam Fels 1998 0

It used to be tradition that playoff exits were complimented by eulogies on Puck Daddy. But with Wysh off in the Connecticut hinterlands and those who remain at Yahoo! being a bunch of Canadian giblets who take things far too seriously (and Lambert being angry and definitely not a Bruins fan), we don’t need them to do what we do best. So fuck it. We’ll eulogize all 15 teams that will eventually fall. And we take unique pleasure in getting to do the Kings first. 

Leave it to the Kings to play quite simply the most unwatchable series since the Lockout of  ’04-’05. There are snuff films that have been lighter fare than their four-game outhouse-cleaning loss to the Knights. If they’d offered this as a prop bet it would have been easy money. While they locked Darryl Sutter out of the dressing room multiple times and eventually kicked his muppet-gone-wrong face out because he made them play a style that would have broken Noriega, when the chips were down John Stevens went back to the only thing the Kings know. Dump, crash, rumble, back up, repeat. Except it didn’t work, and the Kings three goals in the whole series pretty much attest to that. But what three goals they were!

What’s infuriating about the Kings is you can find no better example of a team not learning a lesson from its own methods. Better than the Oilers or Flames or even Hawks. While the Kings were able to belch/fart/ralph their way to a Cup in ’12 thanks to a sweetheart draw and Quick’s .946, they won again in 2014 by beating the Hawks at their own game. They were fast. They were creative. They were lethal. They had Kopitar, Gaborik, Carter, Toffoli, Pearson, Williams shotgunning all over the place. Doughty, Muzzin, Martinez, Voynov (blech) were pushing the play from the back to a ridiculous pace. Nothing has ever come close to the sheer madness and coke-binge hockey (maybe literally) that was the ’14 West Final. The Kings got it, and did it better than anyone to win their second in three years.

And then they went back to their covered-in-dung ways, while the rest of the league went about trying to replicate what they had just done. Such brilliant moves as trading for Milan Lucic and/or Dion Phaneuf or Vincent Lecavalier or bringing back Rob Scuderi. It was like Homer telling the car designers “I need an immobile asshole here, here, and here!” The result has been one playoff win since. One.

The Kings are basically the obnoxious frat boy who did well in college with dumb sorority girls who didn’t know better (or were forced not to because all frat boys are rapists, SCIENCE FACT), but then met a wonderful girl right after and suddenly became a really good guy…until dumping her after reading Barfstool or a few months because she didn’t shotgun beers or something. And now they’re just the old guy at the same bar, not realizing it’s all over.

In the end, this is what Kings fans want, because it’ll give them more time to bitch about the individual awards their players won’t win. Not only do Kings fans feel aggrieved that Kopitar or Doughty won’t be taking home hardware, they’ll accuse everyone of lacking moral fiber who doesn’t think they should. I guess we shouldn’t expect anything else from a city that blows itself as hard as LA does about the industry they created and only they really care about. DiCaprio didn’t campaign as hard for “The Revenant” as these dinguses. Last week every writer east of the Mississippi received a tote bag marked “from TheRoyalHalf on behalf of Anze.” Next year everyone get ready for a “Trevor Lewis Should Win The Selke And If You Don’t Vote For Him You Killed Jesus” campaign.

The Hawks window may be over, but it didn’t slam nearly as hard as the Kings did. And no one in LA is going to miss them, because next year the Lakers might win 30 games. Also, Drew Doughty eats the homeless from Skid Row.

Everything Else

Well Pilgrim, Only After You Eat The Peanuts Outta My… -FFUD’s Player Reviews: The Rest Of The Goofuses And Nincompoops

By Sam Fels 1778 0

Because we have to, we’ll go through the rest of the goalies who suited up for the Hawks, but altogether because they really were a mishmash of goo that is indiscernible from the next. I’m not sure any of these guys are going to matter ever. Maybe one might. Let’s just get through this and go about our day as if none of this ever happened. It’s pretty much what the Hawks are doing.

Jeff G.L. Ass

15 apperances, .898 SV%, 3.36 GAA, .909 at even-strength, .870 on the PK

We get why Q went to Glass when he did. At the time, his team couldn’t play defense to save their lives (and that never really did change). Anton Forsberg hadn’t grabbed the job with either hand. It was a nice story, and maybe the team would somehow try a little harder or be more aware in their own end with this journeyman punter in the net. Otherwise they’d get embarrassed.

And the thing was, it kind of worked for a game or two. Glass’s rebound control was awful, his positioning not much better, but the team did sorta kinda fight to clear all those rebounds away (so many rebounds…). His first three starts saw a win in Edmonton, an OT loss in Calgary, and a win in New York (Rangers version). Of course, looking over the list of opponents there and things get a little clearer, don’t they? After beating the Jets two starts later (seriously, Jeff Glass got a win over the Jets), he wouldn’t get another win and the team wouldn’t locate a fuck to give again. And that was that.

Glass isn’t an NHL goalie, and isn’t going to become one at 32-33. No, he’s not Tim Thomas, and that might never happen again. I suppose it was worth a shot, and now back to whatever smoke filled backroom he came from.

JF Berube

13 appearances, .894 SV%, 3.78 GAA, .905 at evens, .846 on the kill

I think I’m gonna car-ralph reading more of these numbers. Anyway, Berube was brought in for training camp, which means the Hawks thought they might have something to at least look at here. And if you squinted, you could see something of an NHL goalie in Berube. He ended up more square to the shooter than Forsberg or Glass. His rebound control was better. The problem was it took him roughly the same amount of time to move side-to-side as you would age a prime cut of beef. So it doesn’t really matter if you’re square if the puck is already behind you. Berube is 26 so I suppose there’s time for him to establish a career as a backup, but he’s going to have to get way quicker if that’s ever going to happen. We’re almost done I swear.

Collin Delia

I’m only throwing him on here because it’s been a while since the Hawks had a goalie in their system a while and brought them through. You’ll recall Niemi was only in Rockford a year. Raanta was straight into the Hawks team. Darling only spent half of a season in Rockford, and not even that. Delia is only 23, will be 24 at the start of next year, and I have this feeling the Hawks are going to give him a lot of time and a lot of chances. Delia’s numbers in Rockford aren’t all the impressive, but then again Rockford isn’t all the impressive (take that in whatever context you want and it’ll still be correct). But he closed the season well, and if he has a strong playoff series or two (assuming he gets the starts) then he could come into camp with a shot at surprising or at least getting the starting job in RockVegas next year all to himself.

 

Everything Else

Night Songs- Round 1 Day 7: It’s much funnier when it happens to someone else

By Adam Hess 1811 0

Last night was an exercise in the duality of these NHL playoffs. I can’t really remember the last time I felt like the NHL playoffs were somewhat resembling the NBA’s tournament, but this year kinda feels like that – there are a few series which have a clearly dominant team for whom winning seems inevitable, and then a few series that definitely could go either way. In this case, we watched Winnipeg continue their dominance of Minnesota, which has felt inevitable since puck drop of Game 1. We had Washington and Lumbus, which has been very even – because both teams suck, not because they’re both good – and went to OT for the third time in three games. Vegas and LA was kinda even but the Knights ended up completing a sweep because the NHL is a urinal.

Capitals 3 – Jackets 2 (20T) (CBJ leads 2-1)

Barry Trotz finally stopped out thinking himself and put Braden Holtby in net. I know Holtby didn’t have a stellar season, but ultimately I still think it was foolish to not start him in this series to begin with. And yeah, I don’t know how much of a difference it would’ve ultimately made given both of the first two games went to OT as well, but overall Holtby is a better netminder than Grubauer and I’m willing to bet he stops that Panarin winner from Game 1. This game was just as evenly played as the other two have been, and I think CBJ might really end up eliminating this Capitals outfit. And hey, Caps fans, at least losing to the Jackets would save you from losing to the Penguins again.

Jets 2 – Wild 0 (WIN leads 3-1)

We all would’ve been better off if the Wild had just accepted reality and let Winnipeg run over them in Game 3 as well, just accepting the defeat of a sweep. Instead they got mauled again last night – the Jets controlled nearly 60% of the shot attempts in all three periods! – and are in for another belt-over-a-raw-ass beating again in two days. I wish I could feel bad for them, but I most definitely do not. Chicago is the state of hockey, bitches.

Golden Knights 1 – Kings 0 (Knights sweep series 4-0)

The NHL is a urinal. A team made of paper mache and scrap heaps just swept the Los Angeles Kings out of the playoffs. Look, I know the Kings were hardly a force to be reckoned with this year, but neither should Vegas have been. I think there’s probably something to the idea that the underdog status and borderline disrespectful expectations for them, even as champs of the Pacific Division, is motivating them, but an expansion team with a bunch of guys who have had to add “who?” to their name in their career sweeping a team with one one of the league’s best 1C/1D combos is just outrageous. There is no way this kind of shit happens in any of the other leagues that isn’t a single entity. But, this league is a urinal.

Everything Else

Well Pilgrim, Only After You Eat the Peanuts Out of My…– FFUD’s ’17-’18 Player Reviews: Anton Forsberg, Show Business is a Hideous Bitch Goddess

By Rose Rankin 1731 0

Anton Forsberg

35 GP, .908 SV%, 2.97 GAA, .910 SV% at evens, .865 SV% on the kill

Way back in August, I wrote the preview on Forsberg and mused that he seemed like a quadruple-A player, and that if he didn’t take things up a notch we’d be wondering why that preview wasn’t about J.F. Berube. First of all, that was the closest thing to an accurate prediction I made all season, and second, we sadly found out that Berube didn’t deserve the preview either. But we’ll get to the rest of the cast of jamokes-in-net later; for now, let’s focus on Forsberg.

I have frequently expressed that Forsberg seems truly unlucky—the unluckiest man in the NHL at times, and in this league that’s saying quite a lot. But the truth is that it wasn’t all bad luck, plain and simple. At some point you have to overcome bad bounces and defensive breakdowns and make some big saves—it’s a goalie league, after all. And at too many points in time Forsberg showed he wasn’t really capable of doing that. That .908 SV% overall? Not going to get it done. His save percentage on the PK? Downright shitty. When you give up three goals on 13 shots to the Coyotes (back in mid-February before they went on a hot streak, which, actually, BEGAN with that game), that says something.

Now, for some of the caveats: the defense. There’s no getting around the fact that a shitty defense puts undue pressure on a goalie, which is why Crawford’s numbers and achievements are all the more impressive. Remember the Rutta-Forsling combo that just never seemed to die? The on-ice save percentage when they were out there was .899, and if you can believe it, we somehow survived 406 minutes of watching that combo this season. And then there was Nachos and his inability to move his churro-laden ass, and there was Jordan Oesterle, and a slower Duncan Keith…you know the story by now. So while Forsberg most certainly deserves responsibility/opprobrium for his numbers, they alone don’t tell the whole story.

Also, coaching and personnel choices have to be considered. If you were kinda nervous at a new job and hoping to overcome jitters, and then after a few mistakes you got replaced with an inexperienced nobody who was practically a generation older than you, where would your confidence be at? Even for stiffs like me with desk jobs, that would be sad. For a young athlete with the opportunity of a lifetime to become the starting goalie for a Cup contender, I imagine it would be devastating. Again, at the end of the day it’s on Forsberg to perform, but Q’s short leash and the mental ramifications can’t be ignored.

Where Do We Go From Here: The answer to this question really lies with Crawford, and as Sam’s review discussed yesterday, that’s all smoke and mirrors right now and probably will remain so for at least a decent chunk of the summer (wtf is that? This hellscape tundra will never end).

If Crow is healthy and comes back to start the season, then Forsberg deserves a chance as the back-up again. He was serviceable, even solid in net at times. His positioning and rebound control was definitely better than Feel-Good Story Jeff Gl-Ass, and at least as good as Berube’s. With some confidence and even a slightly better blue line in front of him, he could probably be perfectly acceptable for 20-ish games.

If Crawford doesn’t come back at the start of the season, then Forsberg may be able to stay as the back-up but shouldn’t be the No. 1 guy. Whoever the Hawks would go after (Bernier? Grubauer?) would also be a factor: would it be a guy who expects to step into the starting role? Or would it be someone more on the cusp, who would have to earn the starter’s spot over Forsberg? Again, Crawford’s expected return time and condition will impact all of those answers, not to mention how the cap figures into all this. The Hawks should have some money to play with, but as we’ll see with the rest of these reviews, they also have a lot of questions to answer.

And if none of it went down that way and Forsberg was traded, that would be OK too. Berube could be the back-up if they landed someone better, and that same scenario works if Crow is back at 100%. It’s disappointing, no doubt about it; I really had hoped this would have been Forsberg’s year, my frent. But in the end, we’re back at quadruple-A. Sometimes I actually don’t like being right.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 6: A Couple Fightbacks, and One Capitulation Please

By Sam Fels 1482 0

As I said yesterday, it’s really rare to see sweeps in the NHL playoffs. All it takes for any team to get one win is a good goalie performance, or a bad one against you, or just a few pucks going in that didn’t in the first couple games, or maybe a weak call or two. It’s not like the NBA, where if a team doesn’t have an answer on defense for a certain player or matchup, their opponent is just going to keep going to it or force an adjustment and they’ll just open up something else. So the Leafs, Devils, and Avs were able to scratch last night. Meanwhile, the Ducks continue down a familiar and utterly hilarious path.

Bruins 2 – Leafs 4 (BOS leads 2-1)

While it would have been wonderful, the odds the Bruins could continue to smack the Leafs upside the head with a shovel for four straight games were always long. The Leafs had to muster their most energy and best game of the season, and they did just about that last night. While the postgame thread was mostly about how Babcock decided to match up Tomas Plekanec with Patrice Bergeron and how that line for once didn’t rip out most of the Leafs’ vital organs, in reality Bergeron kicked around Plekanec as he normally does with everyone else. They just didn’t score as much as they did in Games 1 and 2. Unless the Leafs think Bergeron taking a 66% share of attempts while Pleks was out there against them is a good thing. That line also had nine shots on goal for the Bruins combined, and if the Leafs try that again they’re going to be very, very sorry. Freddie Andersen was very good, which will be all the more deflating when he turns into a whoopi cushion again soon.

Lightning 2 – Devils 5 (TB Diddler’s lead 2-1)

They might have declared this series over if it wasn’t for Taylor Hall. It’s rather amazing the Devils got this one, because they were crushed over the first two periods to the tune of the Lightning having a 65% share in the first 40. But Schneider held strong long enough for Taylor Hall to do Taylor Hall things, the Lightning weren’t all there, and the Devils get some life. It won’t last long but hey, cheap thrills.

Predators 3 – Avalanche 5 (NSH leads 2-1)

Would have been the most enjoyable outcome of the evening if not for the Ducks. I gotta tell ya, as I’ve been saying, this Preds team is vulnerable. Yes, the first playoff game in Denver in four years was always going to lead to a lively atmosphere, and the Avs were always going to throw a heavy bag of desperation at the Preds. But they simply ran the NashVegas out of the building in the first and could afford to coast from there. BEDNAR! didn’t have MacKinnon out against Treat Boy Johansen, and instead threw him at Kyle Turris, who he inhaled anyway to the tune of a 77% share. Also two goals. Both Turris and Doughboy were -2, Turris had no shots, and Johansen only managed a goal on a 5-on-3 he couldn’t miss. You can get over this center twosome, I’m telling you. Oh, and PK Subban acted a tool, as is his way on the ice. Rinne got pulled, and in three games so far he has a .861. That’ll play for long for sure.

Ducks 1 – Sharks 6 (SJ leads 3-0)

I’m going to steal a comparison from friend of the program, Stace Of Base. And she’s free to break a glass over my head at her earliest convenience. You’ll recall after the Canucks bit it in the Final of ’11, they basically kept the same roster together, and thanks to the crap-tacular nature of the Northwest Division back then, they could continue to win that division. They would muddle through a couple regular seasons, but close hard at the end to win the thing because everyone else was too busy spinning in a circle. In 2012 they got thwacked by the Kings, and then in ’13 they got horsed by the Sharks and basically the Canucks have never been heard from again.

Well, the Ducks have two of the main cogs from that roster, so that’s going well. It feels like they peaked in ’15, when they simply handed the last two games of the conference final to the Hawks. They were beaten by Nashville the next year, and though they got to a conference final last year because their division was so bad, they were once again swatted away by the Preds who lost Johansen halfway through that series (when he was actually trying because he wasn’t paid yet). This Ducks team is finished, and you know it by the way they lash out when they’re done. Randy Carlyle knows no other way. Corey Perry is finished. Ryan Getzlaf somehow cares even less than he did and wants no part of Pavelski or Couture. Kesler can barely walk, but man can he talk.

It’s an interesting bind, because the Ducks blue line is actually good. But when it’s doing its work for a forward corps that eats its dinner at 4pm and then falls asleep, what’s the point? To fix the forwards would mean taking a piece or two off the blue line, and that would be running in place. Can’t wait to see what GMBM does here.

Everything Else

Well Pilgrim, Only After You Eat The Peanuts Outta My… – FFUD’s ’17-’18 Player Reviews: Corey Crawford or Come Back, Shane!

By Sam Fels 1939 0

It’s that time. We gave you a week break. But now we must all pick through what was before we can figure out what should and shouldn’t be. It’s time for our world famous player reviews. And let’s start with the key log to everything, the player this season and the next few will hinge on, Corey Crawford.

Corey Crawford

27 starts, .929 SV%, 2.27 GAA, .935 SV% at evens, .902 SV% on the kill

God, don’t your eyes just bleed looking at those numbers? Doesn’t it make you wonder what might have been? You forgot about them, didn’t you? Because we spent so long looking at Forsberg’s or Glass’s or Berube’s .888s or whatever they were, it’s hard to understand was a .929 even means. Are those real numbers? Can you do that?

It’s important to remember how good Crow was. Crow’s SV% at 5-on-5 was fourth-best among all starters when he got hurt. His .859 high-danger save-percentage was the best in the league. His dSV%–basically the difference between what his expected save-percentage is based on the chances his team gives up and his actual save-percentage–was second-best behind Sergei Bobrovsky. His PK SV% was sixth-best. Crow is among the elite, and this debate is over on just how good he is. You’ll recall the Hawks’ PK was actually in the top five when Crow was around. It finished in the bottom half. He makes that much of a difference.

There’s no point in going any deeper on Crow, because everyone now knows the season collapsed without him. He’s far and away the most important Hawk, and probably the best. On the ice, there’s no question.

The problem is off the ice. Crow got dinged in Dallas right before Christmas, was awful in the last game before the Christmas break, and then simply became one with the ether from there on out. No one’s seen him, barely anyone has talked to him, and the Hawks’ shroud of secrecy isn’t helping matters. So that kind of affects…

Where We Go From Here: It’s impossible to say. In a vacuum, it’s real simple. Crow is back in the crease in September, he keeps the Hawks from being bad and any other move from there pushes them toward “good.” Crow by himself provides a high floor for the whole team.

But we can’t say that. While the Hawks and their media didn’t make anything of it, Crow apparently did get back on the ice somewhere around late winter and then wasn’t there anymore. In any other language, that’s a setback. And he hasn’t been on the ice since. The Hawks never used the words, “shut down,” which means Crow simply couldn’t get back on the ice with whatever it is he’s dealing with. He wasn’t kept off it. He just wasn’t out there.

So the Hawks can say everything will be fine and he’s on course to be ready for training camp, but there’s simply no evidence of that anywhere. When does he have to be back on the ice? July? August? What if he’s not? Is that part of the plan? If things were fine, I have to believe he’d be in contention to play for Canada at the World Championships if he so desired. It would at least give him game time. Knock off some rust. But that hasn’t been mentioned at all.

Thankfully for the Hawks, no one gives a shit around here about them in the summer. So Crow can not be on the ice all summer and they can say everything is fine and no one’s really going to look any deeper.

But until you actually see #50 out there, you’re never going to know. And the Hawks are going to have to find a way to shield themselves from this disaster again in case Crow isn’t going to be there. Which might not be possible, because there are only four or five guys who can do what Crow does. Do you make a play for a Bernier, or Lehtonen (barf), or Khudobin to get you out of a few weeks? Or one of Grubauer or Holtby if the Caps make a choice? Is that even possible? Bring Carter Hutton back? He wants to start full-time. How does that affect the cap room you have now?

The questions on this go deeper than the Hawks really want to admit.