Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 9: When The Chips Are Down, They’ll Eat Each Other

Let’s just dive right in because I want to get right to it.

Bruins 3 – Toronto Red Sox 1 (BOS leads 3-1)

That’s what they’ve become. The Leafs are now the pre-2004 Red Sox. It’s not enough for them to lose because quite simply they’re not good enough and have been just a little strangely put together. Because the Red Sox rolled out some good, not great, teams from the late 90s to the early 2000s, ones that could make the playoffs, but ones that were never near good enough to beat the Yankees or even Cleveland.

No, it’s about how their fans and media demand to be center stage, so that they make sure everyone can see just how tortured they are and how make it clear just how much everyone hates them when really we just want them to shut up. Their coverage spikes because they’re the most followed team, and when they’re done (which is very soon) the story isn’t about who will win the Cup but about what will the Leafs do in the offseason. And they’re sure you care, and if you don’t they’ll make sure that you do, and if you still don’t then clearly there’s something wrong with you. It’s become where the league simply exists to be a platform for the Leafs. Everything is against them don’t you know, even when everything is for them.

Recall one of the thousands of cheap Family Guy cutaways about two guys writing on their laptops in a coffee shop. And more than concern with actually writing, they constantly check to make sure the other is watching them write so that it’s clear they are writers to the other. That’s Leafs fans, except it’s stabbing themselves in the chests figuratively (and I can only hope it stays figuratively). “Is everyone watching me cut my heart out? Because that’s what it’s like being a Leafs fan! Are you watching? See how I’m bleeding? Are you watching how hard this is. It’s so hard can’t you see?!”

Quite simply, the Leafs got goalie’d last night, nothing more nothing less. And it happens. It happens when your masked man is Freddie Andersen, who has years of evidence that he’s just not quite up to it when the lights are brightest that THE NATION just chose to ignore. Rask’s pedigree is so far beyond him it’s laughable. In pretty much every series, each team will have a game where they get goalie’d. It’s why sweeps are so rare. It’s getting beyond that which is the true test.

It didn’t stop their coach from calling out his star, who only put up a 65% share last night, and chumming the waters for his braindead fanbase. I can only hope Auston Matthews sees all this and decides this is bullshit he doesn’t need for his career and asks out. It’s what Leafs fans would deserve.

They’d all rather be watching the Marlies anyway.

Capitals 4 – Jackets 1 (Tied 2-2)

When playing a team as mentally fragile as the Capitals, and you have them down 2-0 and heading home, and after they’d blown leads in the first two games, you wouldn’t think you’d come out and be on the tame side in front of your own crowd that’s never seen you win a series. But then, you’re not John Tortorella. If the Jackets lose this series he should be canned before they even leave the arena, but I doubt that’ll happen.

While the Jackets don’t have the world’s greatest set of forwards, with a team this much on the mat you’d send out your stall to tear into what is still no a great Caps blue line. Trade chances with them if you have to, because once Ovechkin is off the ice what really scares you? Get the Caps down early, get your building into a frenzy, because we know Washington needs only the slightest push to decide they’ve had enough. But no, that’s not how Torts works when he’s focused on getting everyone to block shots.

Honestly, I hope the Caps win this series. They took enough shit in the first two games and a third straight pile-driver to the Penguins would be even more entertaining. Or finally getting over them would be too. Either way, it’s clear we don’t need Columbus around.

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