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We Like To Watch – June 2nd: High Speed Dirt (Penguins 2-1 Sharks)

By 1401

Well I didn’t get that one right. I thought the Sharks’ PP would clock the Penguins’ high-action PK (they only got one look). I thought the Sharks would get a better handle at the pace the Penguins play. They didn’t, though Martin Jones almost made it hold up to take a split back to California. Wasn’t to be though when the Penguins ran a pretty brilliant play off a faceoff in overtime.

Only when San Jose’s top line is on the ice are they consistently getting things going, because those guys are generally skilled enough to weave around the Penguins flying at them and then can mash them along the boards until something else opens up. All the other Sharks’ lines are having problems.

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We Like To Watch – June 1st: You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine (Sharks at Penguins Game 2 Preview)

By 1383

shark vs. Ron-Cey

PUCK DROP: Just after 7pm Central

TV: NBCSN

THOSE HYPERVENTILATING: Pensblog, Pensburgh, Battle of Cali, Canafornians

Figure with only the one game we can give it the usual preview treatment.

You may recall a few years ago, when people still scoffed at the idea of puck possession and Corsi and all that and that having the puck was a good thing (hey that’s today too!), there were some out there who claimed, usually from Toronto, that they were opportunistic. That they played counter-attacking and hence would purposely give up the puck to then spring out faster when it was turned over.

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We Like To Watch – May 31st – Jeremy Jacobs’ Nightmare

By 1462

The “Fuck Boston” aspect of this series really isn’t getting enough play. While most are quick to rightfully piss all over Steve Simmons and his vendetta against Phil “Nice Guy, Tries Hard” Kessel, the fact that this is even a storyline along with Joe Thornton is because of the Bruins’ utter ineptitude in the front office. The entire organization perpetuates the city’s self-inflated image of being blue collar white guys getting by on minimal skill. It’s why Joe Haggerty has a dog named Looch and still has a priapism as a result of Shawn Thortnon’s leadership.

The first round picks this team has traded away is almost as staggering as the horseshit return they’ve received for them. Joe Thornton for Marco Sturm and Wayne Primeau. Kessel for picks. Blake Wheeler for Boris Valabik and Rich Peverley (sky point). Tyler Seguin (who was a pick in the Kessel trade) for a useful-but-who-gives-a-shit Loui Eriksson, and Dougie Hamilton (also a pick from the Kessel deal) for basically nothing. The pedigree they have shipped elsewhere because of some mythical and elusive notion of grit and leadership is truly amazing, added to the retrograde thinking at the highest levels of the team that have spearheaded three work stoppages. That they won a Cup in this era with this unbelievably bad asset management will go down as just as big of a “what the fuck?” cup winner as the Hurricanes once history gives proper perspective.

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Remembering The ’15-’16 St. Louis Blues

By 1854

Once again, we were asked to eulogize the St. Louis Blues upon their exit from the playoffs for Yahoo!’s Puck Daddy Blog. 

“Slayed the dragon!”

That’s a phrase we’ve gotten used to around these parts. Upon this day when we come to mourn/kick dirt/wildly celebrate yet another Blues playoff exit before anything a banner would be raised for, It’s time to consider that. We heard it five years ago, when another continually good-but-not-good-enough team hellbent on measuring its manhood every shift beat a deeply flawed Hawks team, took the most amount of time to do it, and celebrated as if it was discovered drinking beer gives you superpowers. A team with Cup aspirations screaming out its lungs needing every bounce and break to beat a third-placed team. It was Vancouver then. It’s St. Louis now. That’s some company you keep, Blues.

The Blues told us that triumph in the 1st round signalled that everything was different. This win proved that they’d learned their lesson. No longer was this a disgusting organization run by calculating, ham-handed, born-on-third executives with a section of their fandom doing their best to prove that evolution does not actually exist and become the scorn of the rest of the hockey world.

Oh wait, we’re supposed to be talking about the Blues and not the Hawks. Sorry, back to that.

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Farewell Jon Cooper

By 2889

While not a proper eulogy per se, over the past year, we’ve become intimately acquainted with the odd public speaking demeanor of Tampa Bay coach Jon Cooper, who comes across as an oily, depraved step-dad, complete with juris doctor in hand. Over that time, speculating on Jon Cooper’s extracurricular proclivities has become a running joke in these editorial offices that has simply been begging for an IPO. So in honor of Tampa’s ouster, we’re burying this on a holiday weekend Friday afternoon.

And as fair warning, things are going to get incredibly weird after the jump.

Please note, these #CooperFacts are parody and not actually true (that we are aware of), and that this reflects more on us than anything else. 

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We Like To Watch – May 26th: #ThisTimeWillBeDifferent

By 1602

Sharks beat Blues in Game 6

It is for one team. Was it really for the other?

I suppose a trip to the conference final is different for the Blues. Winning it certainly is for the Sharks. But all the noise and concerted effort to make it clear that this was a different Blues team than before makes me wonder who were they really trying to convince? It took the Blues seven games to beat a team that basically didn’t have a blue line in the first round. It took them seven games to beat a team that certainly didn’t have a goalie in the second round. And winning is obviously better than losing to those horrifically flawed teams, and that’s what we all thought the Blues would do, but how much of a triumph these things really were is debatable.

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We Like To Watch – May 25th: It’s The Goalies, Stupid

By 1280

Penguins-Lightning Game 6

Sometimes this hockey thing is silly and simple. Now that this series is going to a seventh game the story out of it will be how evenly it’s been played and how it could have gone either way. And on the surface, that’s true. This series could well be decided tomorrow night on a high-sticking call or another offside review or some goal that goes in off Tyler Johnson’s ass (again). By definition these are all coin-flips.

But in reality, the Penguins have spent a great majority of this series kicking the ever-loving shit out of the Lightning, but Andrei Vasilevskiy has simply held them in.