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We Like To Watch – May 31st – Jeremy Jacobs’ Nightmare

The “Fuck Boston” aspect of this series really isn’t getting enough play. While most are quick to rightfully piss all over Steve Simmons and his vendetta against Phil “Nice Guy, Tries Hard” Kessel, the fact that this is even a storyline along with Joe Thornton is because of the Bruins’ utter ineptitude in the front office. The entire organization perpetuates the city’s self-inflated image of being blue collar white guys getting by on minimal skill. It’s why Joe Haggerty has a dog named Looch and still has a priapism as a result of Shawn Thortnon’s leadership.

The first round picks this team has traded away is almost as staggering as the horseshit return they’ve received for them. Joe Thornton for Marco Sturm and Wayne Primeau. Kessel for picks. Blake Wheeler for Boris Valabik and Rich Peverley (sky point). Tyler Seguin (who was a pick in the Kessel trade) for a useful-but-who-gives-a-shit Loui Eriksson, and Dougie Hamilton (also a pick from the Kessel deal) for basically nothing. The pedigree they have shipped elsewhere because of some mythical and elusive notion of grit and leadership is truly amazing, added to the retrograde thinking at the highest levels of the team that have spearheaded three work stoppages. That they won a Cup in this era with this unbelievably bad asset management will go down as just as big of a “what the fuck?” cup winner as the Hurricanes once history gives proper perspective.

As far as what happened on the ice, it was pretty standard Game 1 punch-counterpunch fare, with Brent Burns getting put in the blender for the game winner. Justin Braun was beaten badly on the first two Penguins goals, but the hockey world later learned that Braun’s father in law, former Hawk Tom Lysiak had passed away right around game time, so it’s understandable if unfortunate that a couple of mental gaffes (a bad pinch, getting caught flat footed by Crosby) resulted in goals. After the success they’ve had to this point in the post season, even against a faster Penguins team it should not be expected for the Braun/Vlasic pairing to all of the sudden go to total shit.

  • Gary Bettman and Bill Daly spewed a whole lot of nothing during their annual State of the League presser before game one. They let everyone in on such revelatory information as “We don’t know what’s going on in Vegas” and “the cap will be flat”. Huge news all around.
  • Because the enjoying two things are mutually exclusive in the world of hockey fandom, there is a great hew and cry that the Warriors game drew about 6x the ratings in the Bay Area as SCF Game 1. One sport has likeable athletes displaying their personality while performing a goddamn trapeze act on the court, the other literally exalts shitheads like Shawn Thornton, as mentioned above. The reason I’m even writing this is because Sam preferred to watch the basketball game last night.
  • So the Blues are bringing Ken Hitchcock back, and he states it will be his final year. But in doing so, he’s screwed the franchise into stasis, just as our many prophecies have foretold. Neither of his assistants are committed to coming back, with Brad Shaw opting out and Kirk Muller weighing his options, and GM Doug Armstrong has admitted that they’ll have a hard time bringing in free agents with the coaching situation in flux (not to mention the Blues are somehow capped out even if Backes walks). Vlad Tarasenko is no doubt thrilled with all of these developments.