Everything Else

Cinch It Up & Hunker Down

By 1540

Tonight marks the NHL’s annual award ceremony in Las Vegas, where F-list celebs uncomfortably deliver patter at the podium prior to drunk hockey players receiving replica trophies and mumbling through an acceptance speech in between impossibly poorly curated musical acts. It truly is one of the greatest events in all of show business and sports.

So naturally, because nothing Cardinal John McDonough and his PR cadre ever do is on accident, the night before he could walk home with as many as three trophies, information “leaked” that Garbage Dick is on his best behavior this summer here in the placid lakeside outpost that is Chicago under the team’s watchful eye, rather than in the cesspool of temptation that is Buffalo, New York.

Everything Else

The Chicago Bruins

By 1648

Day late to this, was traveling yesterday so apologies for the delay.

As we spent a season watching the Hawks fuck up pretty much every chance to make themselves likable as an organization, or even appear competent in the ways of PR or understanding, yesterday’s post-trade bus-tossing of Teuvo Teravainen shouldn’t really be disappointing considering the heights of incompetence and deafness they’ve already scaled. And yet it’s another minor notch on the post showing that the Hawks aren’t really anywere near the first-class organization they love to tell us that they are. Maybe they were once again too busy filming an ad with a sick kid they use to sell tickets where they don’t tell us what disease or condition that child has and/or provide information where others might find out where to learn and help.

Everything Else

It’s Hard To Leave When You Can’t Find The Floor

By 1668

Most of Hawks Nation is still clearing the cobwebs from the news that Teuvo Teravainen had to be included to rid themselves of Bryan Bickell’s contract. It’s yet another case of the Hawks choosing to go with their veteran’s floors instead of their prospects’ ceilings. Teuvo is probably the highest ceiling of the players the Hawks have had to lose next to Brandon Saad, and that’s why the sting is so great. Then again, the real sting is that while the Hawks probably HAD to lose Saad given his salary demands, they didn’t have to lose Teuvo. They decided, or more to the point Q decided, that Andrew Shaw was the higher priority.

We’ve done this before, but it’s worth examining whether that’s really the case.

Everything Else

Be Here Now

By 1953

It was rumored a week or two ago but a lot of us didn’t want to believe it. The Hawks pulled the trigger on trading Bryan Bickell and having it cost them Teuvo Teravainen to do so, shipping them to Carolina for 2nd and 3rd round picks this year. Remember, Patrick Sharp can’t get you picks in return for a salary dump but Bickell and Teuvo can. MMMMMM THAT’S GOOD GM-ING!

There are various levels on which to view this, and you can’t really judge it until we see what the Hawks get to do with the cap space they now have. Though you have to ask yourself if the $1M in savings this does over simply buying out Bickell, and the $1.5M next year, is worth losing Teuvo. I don’t think it is.

Everything Else

We Like To Watch – June 14 – Garbage In, Garbage Out

By 1732

Now in the refractory period between the hoisting of The Chalice and the flurry of activity that comes at the Draft, a slow trickle of minor news has been seeping out across the league. Vegas is apparently a go, without the approval of Nevada Gaming Control somehow. Randy Carlyle is hilariously the head coach of the Ducks again, apparently at the behest of the refusing-to-go-away Teemu Selanne. The Flames seem to be zeroing in on Glen Gulutzan, who is not to be confused with any number of Elaine’s dipshit boyfriends on Seinfeld, but actually was last seen coaching the Stars in the pre-Genius Jim Nill era to nowhere in particular.

But on a day where bullshit like this constitutes news, one seemingly minor thing crossed the wire that could have gone unnoticed at any other time during the year, and that’s piece of shit with teeth Matthew Barnaby leaving his post on the NHL Network on SiriusXM to be an assistant coach for the OHL’s Kitchener Rangers. This is just so disgustingly perfect.

Everything Else

We Like To Watch – After All Is Said And Done, Gotta Move While It’s Still Fun

By 1468

So it took one game longer than I thought it would, and most thought it would. And for at least two periods, it was probably the best the Sharks have looked in this series last night. But because their coach couldn’t stop playing Polak and Dillon, they immediately surrendered the tie they had just gotten, and couldn’t find a way through the smothering Pens defense. It’s too simplistic to pin it all on the Sharks’ third pairing (though awfully tempting), because the Penguins were clearly the better team in this series. But still, that was opening the door and rolling out a red carpet sprinkled with flowers for Pittsburgh to stroll on in.

Whenever we have a new Cup champion, there is a rush to see what we can learn from them and how teams should apply their plans going forward. That’s a little harder to do with this one.

Everything Else

Friday Foofaraw: Euro 2016 Preview

By 1310

It’s Friday, so let’s get loose. If you’re like me and you spend your summers feckless and inert, summer soccer tournaments are your Valhalla. Or if you just want to take a long lunch or half day, they’re also an excellent excuse for that. The Euros used to be kind of the hipster soccer fan tournament over the World Cup. When it was 16 teams, the big teams couldn’t avoid each other in the group stages or knockout rounds, and there wasn’t really anything as an “easy” draw. But like all things in sports, the higher-ups couldn’t ignore the money to be made and bloated this thing to 24 teams, meaning we’ll go through a group stage to eliminate exactly eight teams and some teams that didn’t win a match or just won one will get through to the round of 16. But hey, it’s better than nothing. So let’s go through the groups together in a way only I can!

Everything Else

We Like To Watch – June 9th: In The House And An Anniversary

By 1391

There’s an added buzz to the hockey world when the Stanley Cup actually enters the building. It will be in Pittsburgh tonight, and one gets the feeling it’s almost certainly going to come up for air. You tend to feel like that when one team hasn’t had a lead all series. At this point it almost feels like we’re just putting the Sharks out of their misery.

You would think that being on the brink would finally force DeBoer to empty the tanks, tell Dillon and Polak that they’re playing eight minutes each at most and try and keep his top four d-men out there as much as possible. But if it hasn’t happened yet it probably won’t now. And basically no matter how well the Sharks play tonight, one shift or two from those will turn the tides.

Everything Else

We Like To Watch – June 7th: On The Precipice

By 1386

It’s kind of startling that through four games, the only time the Sharks have led this series is after Donskoi’s goal in OT in Game 3. While every game has been “close,” that has more to do with Martin Jones and the nature of playoff hockey than these two teams being evenly matched. That’s exacerbated when the Sharks’ coach is running this series with both hands around his throat.

It may seem strange that two years ago, at this time, we were bemoaning Joel Quenneville opting to basically play eight forwards against the loaded Kings and now we’re in utter shock as to why Peter DeBoer insists on playing all six of his d-men. These things are fluid, and given the difference in requirements of the positions the same needs don’t apply.

Everything Else

How Summer Of Saad And Sharp Altered Hawks View

By 1659

We awoke today, if you’re a tomato can like me who wakes up late during the summer because you don’t have anywhere to be, to the news that once again that the Hawks are doing everything they can to flog Bryan Bickell off their cap. But it might cost them Teuvo Teravainen in the process. Those who do not learn from history…

There is obviously shock value here. It’s no secret how we feel about Teuvo, despite the organization’s (intentional or not) bad-mouthing of him and/or misuse at given times. Teuvo is yet another piece who could have backed up the “core” when their age and mileage (or stomach, in some cases) starts to show (which isn’t far off).

However, look a little deeper and you can see what Stan sees on the horizon. There’s an expansion draft coming, and the Hawks have so many NMCs that they are forced to protect that they simply might not be able to keep Teuvo. I’d have to guess he’d be one of the more attractive assets on offer for Vegas if it comes to that. Perhaps Stan is once again realizing he might do what he can to get anything instead of losing yet another asset for nothing.