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We Like To Watch – June 14 – Garbage In, Garbage Out

Now in the refractory period between the hoisting of The Chalice and the flurry of activity that comes at the Draft, a slow trickle of minor news has been seeping out across the league. Vegas is apparently a go, without the approval of Nevada Gaming Control somehow. Randy Carlyle is hilariously the head coach of the Ducks again, apparently at the behest of the refusing-to-go-away Teemu Selanne. The Flames seem to be zeroing in on Glen Gulutzan, who is not to be confused with any number of Elaine’s dipshit boyfriends on Seinfeld, but actually was last seen coaching the Stars in the pre-Genius Jim Nill era to nowhere in particular.

But on a day where bullshit like this constitutes news, one seemingly minor thing crossed the wire that could have gone unnoticed at any other time during the year, and that’s piece of shit with teeth Matthew Barnaby leaving his post on the NHL Network on SiriusXM to be an assistant coach for the OHL’s Kitchener Rangers. This is just so disgustingly perfect.

A couple months ago, the NHL’s problem with having regressive tomato cans being the ambassadors and analysts of the game was covered at length here, but Matthew Barnaby takes all of this a step beyond the bounds of the law. While stupid and pointless, his needless commentary on the sport is actually preferable to when he’s not in front of a microphone, where he’s driving drunk on three tires or terrorizing his ex-wife. Not to mention other unbelievably disgusting and violent acts that we have received word of over the years from his not-short-enough tenure here. And good for him that none of these happened while he was here before Cardinal McDonough’s reign began.

So all of this combines to make Barnaby an absolutely perfect fit for the cesspool that is junior hockey, where even Golden Boy Kyle Dubas can’t resist the urge to perpetuate a culture of absuse towards women. Placing entitled, shitty, abusive men in charge of teenagers who have only ever heard how great they are and have been allowed to run wild because of sporting talent does nothing but keep this sport and league intractably fucking terrible in its treatment of marginalized people. You Can Play ads be damned, because the message the other 99% of the time from the league and media outlets is that pieces of shit like Barnaby are to be congratulated and be in charge of shaping the future of the sport.


Garbage in, garbage out.