Hockey

Days of Future Past – Anaheim and Seattle Previews

By Andy Jonathan 759

Well, you can’t say things aren’t at least getting interesting over on West Madison lately. After nothing but radio silence regarding the status of top prospect and A New Hope for the future Lukas Reichel was suddenly promoted to The Show on Wednesday. After initially saying he’d only be on the taxi squad, Coach King relented and tossed him in the lineup last night. What resulted was nothing spectacular, but also was not awful either.

How long he’ll be up on the main roster is unknown at this point, but I would hazard a guess that if he acclimates quickly and shows he belongs, the Hawks brass will be hard pressed to come up with an excuse to banish him back to Rockford. At least for the time being we have something to watch that might potentially be here in 3 years.

 

1/15 Vs. Ducks

Game Time: 7:30 PM CST

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Emilio Estevez Is A Moron: Anaheim Calling

 

Up until about 10 days ago, the Ducks were (somehow) the best team in what is admittedly a very barren Pacific Division in the Western Conference. How they got to that point nobody knows, but even after getting passed up by Vegas the meltdown everyone assumed was forthcoming has not shown. Part of the Ducks success has been their uncanny ability to make it into OT and secure the extra point before losing. They lead the entire Western Conference with the Loser Point with a whopping 7 of them thus far. To put that into perspective, they only garnered 9 OT loss points in the entirety of the 2019 season, so they’re on pace to blow that record out of the water.

The Ducks have very few familiar faces these days, other than Ryan Getzlaf’s giant one. The turnover on the front end has been what you would expect from a team that’s been sitting in the basement of the West the past 5 years. Troy Terry and Trevor Zegras lead the team in scoring, both high picks of the Ducks in the last few drafts. Columbus castoff Sonny Milano and his glorious hair seemingly has finally put it together after never living up to his 1st round pedigree in the O-H-I-O. The Hawks luck out, as two of Anaheim’s more dangerous forwards in Rickard Rakell and (to a lesser extent) Jakob Silfverberg will most likely miss Saturday’s tilt as Rakell hurt his shoulder during an awkward collision into the boards and Silfverberg’s got the Rona.

John Gibson is still here, and he’s about as exciting as white bread covered in mayo with his 2.64 GAA and .917 save percentage that is somehow good enough to get picked for the NHL All Star Game. Where he DOES stand out is when the Ducks are on the PK, which is the 3rd best in the league at suppressing shots. A lot of that comes from their very mobile defense, which denies zone entries with some of the best in the league. With the Hawks PP sinking further and further to the bottom of the league, the ability of the Ducks to flip the ice looms large.

 

1/17 @ Seattle

Game Time: 4:00 PM CST (Seriously)

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Johnny Depp Sucks: Davy Jones Locker Room

 

One of the few teams actually statistically worse than the Hawks, the Kraken are nevertheless providing some entertainment for their new fans in the Pacific Northwest. Jordan Eberle leads the team in points, which is somewhat impressive given his role as a #2 scorer for every team he’s ever been on. To be fair, some of that is due to the fact that Connor McDavid and later John Tavares were on his teams. He’s an excellent skater, and is able to create a shot for himself (which he needs to do quite a bit on this team). He’s also 31, which while not exactly young anymore is not so old that he can’t be the face of the franchise for the next few years while they attempt to cash in on all their draft picks.

On the back end they have…uhhh…Mark Giordano? And some other guys? Their goaltending is pretty terrible as well, with both Phillip Grubauer and Chris Driedger having GAAs over 3.30. The Kraken are pretty much what one would expect an expansion team to be, making Vegas truly the exception that proves the rule. They don’t do anything well, except play with a chip on their shoulder which can make them dangerous on any given night. Their fans are loud (mostly because they’re Seahawks fans which makes them insane criminals), and just happy to have a team. So they’ll probably drop 6 on the Hawks and toss the team bus into the Puget Sound.

Hockey

Here, There and Everywhere – Arizona, Vegas and Columbus Previews

By Andy Jonathan 789

Pardon the title of the preview, but I watched Get Back on Disney Plus the other day and have been listening to Beatles tracks ever since. Anyways, the Hawks played as expected the past 3 games since coming back from their extended Xmas Vacation, getting smoked in all facets in the Nashville and Calgary games and then playing a solid 58 minutes against Colorado but ultimately falling to a simply disgusting Makar OT goal.

What is becoming clearer by the minute is that the Blackhawks are desperately short on skaters that can finish off their shots. Outside of Patrick Kane and Alex DeBrincat (who is shooting absolutely lights out at a 19% rate, and will eventually come back down to earth) the cupboard is bare at the NHL level. This was never more apparent when Kirby Dach got run down in the 2 on 1 in the 3rd period against the Avs. Ultimately this will result in more of the same for the Hawks, making it only so far in games as Marc Andre Fleury can carry them and hoping Kane and Cat are able to pot a few before the dam breaks.

Reading the tea leaves as to why Lukas Reichel hasn’t been called up from Rockford yet is a pretty clear statement from Kyle Davidson as to what he thinks of the Hawks chances going forward. Why waste a year on his rookie deal for half of a wasted season? While the analytical part of my lizard brain agrees with this, the hockey fan in me wants to see what this kid can do. It would at least give us something to write about other than “the Hawks sucked again,” which feels like what I was doing in 2017-18 covering the White Sox for this joint.

Anyways, here’s who’s next for the Hawks this week:

 

1/6 @ Coyotes

Game Time: 8:00 PM CST

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Hockey Fans More Depressed Than Us: Five For Howling

 

If there were ever a salve for a hockey team that just had it’s ass lit on fire by 3 top tier teams, playing the Desert Dogs would be aloe vera. Not only are they constantly playing under the threat of being locked out of their own arena, the city they call home is actively trying to get them to leave. Not a very conductive work environment, and it shows. Sitting at or near the bottom in every advanced metric the internet could concieve of, the Coyotes are the A#1 team in contention for the first overall pick in the summer. While the Hawks are terrible in goal differential, the Yotes are taking it to an entirely new level with a -56 mark less than halfway through the season. To put that into perspective, the worst goal differential in 2018-19 for the whole SEASON was -64 (hello, Ottawa), so yeah. They’re bad.

There are some pieces that can be salvaged at the deadline for them, however. Professional Hot Dog Man Phil Kessel is here, and 3rd on the team with 21 points and entering his free agent season. Shayne Ghost Bear has one year left on his 4.5 million dollar deal and is producing nicely from the back end on the PP. Assbag Antoine Roussel is also here, and brings that idiotic element that teams so love to acquire for the playoff run. Nick Schmaltz is also here and has 6 points, so…I guess that’s one trade that Bowman actually won.

The only player worth talking about with a future in the organization is Clayton Keller. Drafted 1st overall in 2016, the Yotes handed him an 8 year, $57 million dollar extension last season. He’s rewarded them for doing so by being the team’s leader on the ice night in and night out. While he’s generously listed at 5′ 10″, Keller plays a much bigger game than you would expect, and has the type of finish that reminds you of Alex DeBrincat. More impressively he does most of his damage at even strength, as only 3 of his 21 points have come on the man advantage. If the Hawks D can keep a lid on him, the odds of picking up 2 points goes up exponentially.

 

1/8 @ Vegas

Game Time: 9:00 PM CST

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Degenerates Unite: Sin Bin Las Vegas

 

After a very rough start to the season (7-8 in their first 15), the Knights have righted the ship and find themselves back atop the Pacific Division having gone past the surprising Ducks of Anaheim in the last week. Much of this is due to the Knights forwards finally remembering which end to shoot at. And boy do they shoot at it, because if the Knights don’t pot more than 3 goals a night it’s tough for them to win. After choosing Brain Genius Robin Lehner over MAF, the Knights GAA sits above 3.00 for the first time in their existence. As a team, the Knights have given up merely 2 more than the Hawks have (granted they’ve played 3 more games) and 37 more than conference leader Calgary.

The flip side of that is the Knights lead the West in scoring by a pretty large margin. Leading this charge is Washington castoff Chandler Stephenson who is tops on the team with 34 points. After him come the usual suspects in Reilly Smith, Shea Theodore and Mark Stone. The Knights can run 4 lines out there and have all of them score, and this is even before the eventual debut of ole Slinky Neck Jack Eichel. Take the over in this one.

 

1/11 @ Columbus

Game Time: 6:00 CST

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Did You Know Ohio State Is In Columbus?: Jackets Cannon

 

Another team slumming it at the bottom of the league statistically, the Blue Jackets are another opportunity for the Hawks to pick up some points on this Sherman-esque march to the sea. Columbus is very similar to the Hawks in terms of being unable to keep other teams from scoring, and only getting their own goals from very limited sources. The good thing for the Jackets is that all the goals they ARE getting are from the younger draft pick crowd. Alexandre Texier, Oilver Bjorkstrand and Zack Werenski are all going to be bright parts of the Jackets future. Even some of the “older” players like Boone Jenner and Gus Nyquist are still well South of 30, and could be a part of that future.

Boone Jenner currently leads the team with 11 goals, half of which come on the man advantage where he does most of his damage between the dots. Bjork Bjork Bjork leads the team with 23 total points, and is a lot of fun to watch with his combination of speed and hands. Also Jake Voracek is here.  In between the pipes is where the Jackets have issues, as their GAA over the last month and a half is North of 3.50. CBJ had brought up Daniil Tarasov up from the AHL to fill in for the broken (and terrible) Joonas Korpisalo, where he performed pretty admirably before leaving the game against Carolina with a lower body injury. Korpisalo is back now, and he’s been teaming with Elvis Merzlikins to be extra terrible. The Jackets have given up 7 goals in each of their last 2 games, and weren’t exactly setting the world on fire before that. This game seems like a good chance for Fleury to steal one for the Hawks, but again I’d still take the over.

 

Hockey

Blazing Saddles (Rona Rodeo Edition) – Washington, Smashville, Dallas Previews

By Andy Jonathan 1073

So after dropping 2 of their last 3 (one in mind-numbingly dumb fashion against The Leaf), the Hawks return to West Madison for an extended session of home cookin, with only the Stars matchup on the road until the Wednesday after Christmas. The issues the team faces remain the same (lack of scoring outside of Kane and Cat, questionable goaltending when Fleury isn’t in net), but there may be a glimmer of hope as Jonathan Toews potted 2 goals over that span, and has actually looked more himself than in quite awhile.

With Dylan Strome becoming more dangerous while actually getting meaningful minutes (who knew?), the Hawks are kinda sorta getting some of the secondary scoring the team so desperately needs right now. Even Domanik Kubalik was able to get one past The Leaf on Saturday night, so perhaps things are trending upward?

The Hawks will have to make due without having Reese’s Johnson (candy porno name) out of the lineup for at least a month or so, as he landed on IL Sunday with a broken clavicle. The Hawks also punted Mike Hard Man back down to The R, and recalled Brett Connolly and MacKenzie Entwistle. Hopefully Johnson being out means more meaningful minutes (alliteration!) for guys like Phillip Kurashev and Brandon Hagel.

With the game Monday night against Cal and Gary postponed to a Rona outbreak in the Flames locker room, the Hawks catch a break from what would have been (and still kinda is) a tough stretch of games. The Caps are still rolling, having gone 3-1 in the span since the Hawks beat them in the skills competition. The Preds are also hot, having won 7 of their last 10 (though 4 of them came against The Scum, Isles, Habs and Devils) and Dallas had a 7 game win streak before they dropped 3 straight. It’s not going to be easy, but 4 of 6 points here would go a long way to showing that this team is more than just a bottom-feeder right now.

 

12/15 vs. Capitals 

Game Time: 7:00 PM CST

TV/Radio – NBC Sports Chicago, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720

Bulldog Front – Russian Machine Never Breaks

 

After securing their first win in DC since the 2nd Bush administration, the Hawks look to take the season series against the Caps. The offense (and some of the defense to be honest) still resides in the orbit of the best hockey player of the last decade, Alexander Ovechkin. He’s had 7 points in his last 5 games and 44 overall (good for 3rd in the league behind the twin wizards in Edmonton), 10 more than the guy behind him. 20 of those 44 points are goals, good for 2nd in the league. The guy is still a dynamo, and his shot is almost impossible to stop if he gets it off from his spot low in the circles. Adding to the Hawks misery in this game is that TJ Oshie has returned from the land of wind and ghosts, giving the Caps another scoring option.

Defensively the Caps line up pretty well against the Hawks, with John Carlson having another very solid year resulting in Washington having the 2nd best goal differential in the league behind Carolina.  In net, the tandem of Ilya Samsonov and Vitek Vanacek have pretty similar numbers, and actually kinda look like each other too. They’re basically the same guy, with an average GAA and Save % to go with it. Just goes to show how often the Caps score if they can have an OK goaltending duo and still be tops in differential. Professional Assbag Tom Wilson is still here, so if the Hawks powerplay could find it’s way in from the cold, that might go a long way towards giving themselves a chance in this one.

 

12/17 vs. Predators

 

Game Time: 7:30 PM CST

TV/Radio:  NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Getting Smashvilled:  On The Forecheck

 

Since the last time the Hawks saw the Preds they’ve managed to go on a mini-heater by going 11-5 in that span. As noted above, however, a good chunk of those 11 have been against lower-tier teams. Granted, the Preds can only play the schedule barfed out by the league office, but that record can be taken with a grain of salt. Nashville’s advanced stats look like one of my old training reports back in the day, which said “does nothing well,” which describes them to a tee. They’re not top 10 in any meaningful metric other than PP% (and even then they’re 9th), and yet they currently sit in 2nd place in the division. Much like in every year past, this is due to their goaltending, and playing the part of Pekka Rinne this year is his countryman Juuse Saros. The Juuse keeps the Preds playoffs afloat all by his lonesome, and does so with a 2.24 GAA and a .925 save percentage. On the surface those don’t look like superior numbers, but when you combine those with the Preds style of game and Saros’ excellent save percentage of high danger chances you get a Nashville team that does just enough to be very annoying. If the Hawks plan on pulling themselves out of the basement, this game needs to be won in regulation. Having a coach that understands the benefit of matchups could go a long way to making that happen.

 

12/18 vs. Stars 

Game Time: 7:00 PM CST

TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720

Jerry Jones Runs This Town: Defending Big D

 

Last and most certainly least on this list are the Dallas Stars, who have lost 3 in a row during a down road trip. The Stars are actually statistically better than the Preds in a few categories, but are not great inbetween the pipes. Anton Khudobin has turned back into a pumpkin after a few years of relevancy with a 3.73 GAA. After leaving Washington for greener pastures, Braden Holtby has been a pretty mixed bag, with a terrible year in Vancouver and now a slightly above average one in Dallas with a 2.40 GAA and a .920 save percentage. That comes from a team that is one of the better ones in the league in shot suppression, currently ranking 7th in the league in that department at evens. The fact that the Stars are only slightly better than the Hawks at scoring 5 on 5 and you get all the ingredients for a thrilling game. Roope Hintz and Joe Pavelski lead the way for the Stars on “offense,” with Hintz leading the team with 11 goals and Pavs with 21 points respectively. Russian expatriate Alexander Radulov is still here, and his production has gone off a cliff, with only 1 goal and a -11 to his name thus far. With the Hawks actually improving over the last few weeks under Derek King at evens, this game looks to be their best chance to pick up an easy 2 points in regulation.

Hockey

Sucker Train Blues – Calgary, St. Louis, San Jose Previews

By Andy Jonathan 948

With the last stop of the mini circus tour tonight ending in Calgary, the absolute worst the Hawks can go is .500 on the trip which all things considered is pretty respectable. Which is not to say that the actual PLAY of the team has been up to snuff on the defensive end, because it has most definitely not been the case. Were it not for the herculean efforts of one Marc-Andre Fleury the Hawks would most likely have banked zero points on this swing as opposed to the 4 they currently own.

Looking at the metrics themselves, they bear this out as the Hawks have only managed a 45% share of CORSI in the last 3 games, which I’m being told is not great. A lot of this stems from the fact that Coach King’s new system of “just play some hockey” results in the forwards (especially the top line of Kane/Cat/Dach) flying the defensive zone Paul Kariya-style looking for an odd man rush. While this has definitely helped the Hawks on the scoresheet (all 3 goals against The Krak were on the rush), a fair amount of the time it results in the D getting pinned in their own end.

This is still in the honeymoon phase for Coach K, and to be fair it’s worked out pretty well so far with the Hawks winning all but one game under him. What we saw in Edmonton, however, is what you get when it doesn’t work.

 

11/23 At Calgary

Game Time – 8:00 PM Central

TV / Radio – NBCSN, WGN-AM 720

Read The ScorchStack – ScorchStack

 

Nothing like ending your road trip with the best team in the Western Conference. The Flames are (pardon the pun) scorchingly hot as of late. They have the best goal differential in the entire league at +27, and are 5th best in CORSI for. The Flames are tough to get around on the back end, with a very solid defensive corps headlined by Rasmus Andersson who has come into his own this season.

Offensively is where the Flames shine, with Andrew Mangiapane tied for 2nd in the league with 15 goals. They also still have Johnny Gaudreau and Elias Lindholm racking up the points, along with Keith Tkachuk’s garbage child stirring the shit with 17 points of his own. Speaking of shitbags, Milan Lucic is here along with monolith Nikita Zadorov, so DeBrincat and Kane need to have their heads up in this one.

Between the pipes, Vancouver cast off Jacob Markstrom should draw the start against the Hawks as backup Dan Valdar shut out the Bruins on Sunday night. Markstrom has been outstanding so far, with a 1.71 GAA and .942 save% so far. He’s only given up 24 goals in 14 games, so the Hawks forwards are going to have to make every shot count.

 

11/26 vs St. Louis

Game Time – 2:30 PM Central

TV / Radio – ESPN, WGN-AM 720

Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy – STL Gametime

 

Ugh, these assholes again.

The first game back in the UC and the Blues come oozing into town, 2nd overall in the division but squarely in the middle of the pack statistically everywhere else. Their +12 goal differential is tied with Colorado in the division, but is less than half of what the Flames boast. That’s more a statement on the quality of the Central Division than it is an indictment of how good the Blues are.

Jordan Kyrou leads the team with 18 points, and seems to have taken the leap from “2nd round pick with potential” to “possibly a thing.” While his 17% shooting percentage doesn’t seem sustainable, the fact that 1/3rd of his points have come on the powerplay leads one to think that his value won’t dip too much when that comes back down to earth. David Perron is also here, and he still sucks.

Jordan Binnington and his 2.8 GAA average will most likely man the crease come Black Friday, and if the Hawks can get him moving side to side there will be gaps for them to shoot at. The Blues don’t give up a lot of space for offensive forwards, so the Hawks will most likely have to do their damage in transition (which is currently their MO).

 

11/28 vs San Jose

Game Time – 6:00 Central Time

TV/Radio – NBCSN, WGN-AM 720

Pied Piper – Fear The Fin

 

Last and least of the 3 teams here is the San Jose Sharks. Currently caught in the limbo of cap hell, the Sharks are a mix of overpriced vets (Erik Karlsson, Brent Burns, Marc-Edouard Vlasic), expiring cap-friendly contracts (Tomas Hertl, Timo Meier), and rookies making a splash (Jonathan Dahlen, Alexander Barbanov). They also have Evander Kane here, at least until the casinos break his legs and leave him for dead in the desert outside of Vegas.

The Sharks are actually playing better than what everyone expected at this point in the season, dropping Carolina on their collective heads 2-1 last night at home. Karlsson and Burns are both playing well (though not $20 mildo per year good), with Karlsson in particular looking a little more like himself when paired with youngster Jacob Middleton who allows Karlsson to leap into the play as he is wont to do. The Sharks back end is a pretty good mix of old and young, with Karlsson, Burns and Vlasic pairing with the younger crew of Middleton and Mario Ferraro (who has steadily improved his play the last two years).

With James Reimer doing the thing he does in the first half of every season (1.87 GAA and .940%), there’s enough talent there to keep up with most teams and allow the younger players to make mistakes without every one of them ending up in the back of the net.

The Sharks are basically a better coached Blackhawks team, and I’m curious how this game in particular is going to go. Both teams are right on the periphery of the playoff race, but stuck with a couple of contracts that prevent them from going whole-hog on a rebuild. It’s games like these that can turn into the fun kind of track meet that makes for entertaining viewing. Or it could be a horrible slog. Either way, we’ll be watching.

Hockey

You’ve Seen The Butcher – Hawks Win 2 of 3 In Pacific NW

By Andy Jonathan 875

I mean, 4 points is 4 points…right?

 

Sometimes your hockey team gets completely outplayed in 3 straight games, and yet somehow comes away with wins in 2 of the 3. When that happens, all you can really do is shrug your shoulders and just say “hockey is dumb sometimes.” You could also say “Marc-Andre Fleury is a dope motherfucker and he does dope shit” and you wouldn’t be wrong, especially on Sunday night.

Historically the Pacific NW corner of this landmass has been a house of horrors for the Hawks, especially around this time of year. Even though the circus no longer calls the UC home around Thanksgiving, it just so happens that the NHL schedulers decided 2021 would be a good time to revive a portion of that road trip. With still 1 game remaining in Calgary, this mini Circus Trip should be considered a success with .500 the bare minimum before the team heads home to face off against the Blues and Sharks.

It hasn’t been pretty, but at this point in the season any and all points for a team attempting to claw it’s way back into the playoff picture should be considered a plus…especially when it was accomplished during regulation.

 

TO THE BULLETS!

 

NUMBERS DON’T LIE

 

November 17th, 2021

Hawks 4 – Krak 2

Box Score / Natural Stat Trick 

 

The Hawks actually came out in the game a house of fire, pressuring the Kraken in their own zone and holding the lions share of the possession for the period (64% CORSI share). Sometimes owning the majority of the possession time doesn’t create the results you would normally expect, but this was not one of those instances as Seth Jones got his 2nd goal of the season off the rush with a sick tic tac toe play from Kane and DeBrincat to put the Hawks up 1-0.

DeBrincat put the Hawks up 2-0 just 2 minutes into the 2nd period after the entire Kraken defense fell asleep when Riley Stillman won a board battle in the corner of the Hawks zone (where Gufstasson was also inexplicably located, but that’s another story) and kicked it over to Kirby Dach, who saucered a sick pass to a streaking DeBrincat. After this goal the ice tilted severely in the favor of the Kraken, who began to pour the pressure on the suddenly underwater Blackhawks. The Kraken owned the posession time the rest of the way to the tune of a 73% share. If it wasn’t for the heroics of Marc-Andre Fleury, the Kraken might have ended up winning this one by 4.

As it was, the Krak made another sloppy mistake that resulted in your standard “Kane Roofs A Backhand On Transition” kinda goal to make it 3-0 Hawks. Then it was all Krak the rest of the way, pulling within 1 goal before Jake McCabe managed to pot an empty netter from 400 feet away. As was mentioned on the podcast by McClure, the “just go out there and play hockey” style of management from Derek King works when the team is trying to score goals, but not so much trying to protect a lead. It’s a process, but at least it feels like the ship has a rudder again.

 

November 20th, 2021

Hawks 2 – Oilers 5 

Box Score / Natural Stat Trick 

 

Connor McDavid is the best hockey player in the multiverse right now, and it’s not even close. Not covering him is a recipe for failure, and not surprisingly he ended the game 10 minutes into the 1st period after Seth Jones got his pocket picked behind the Hawks net, and Kirby Dach decided he was gonna try and fly the zone for a Paul Kariya breakaway instead of putting a stick on McJeebus as he sat alone in front of poor Kevin Lankinen. Shortly thereafter the Hawks gave the Oil an almost 2 minute 5 on 3 PPG where Tyson Barrie put one in. A Yamomoto SHG and a Ryan McLeod rebound a few moments later and it was 4-0.

The Hawks tried to make a game of it with a couple of DeBrincat goals, but a terrible dump in by Toews on a PP in the waning moments of the 3rd turned into the Oil’s 2nd SHG of the night with Draisatil depositing the 5th goal of the night behind Lankinen.

This game was over 10 minutes into the first, but credit to the Hawks forwards for not realizing it until the 3rd. Lankinen really only had a chance on McLeod’s goal, so he’s not entirely to blame. Honestly the Oilers are just the better team and it showed. Moving on.

 

November 21st, 2021

Hawks 1 – Nucks 0

Box Score / Natural Stat Trick 

 

Sometimes you just need your goalie to save your bacon. For the longest stretch, Cory Crawford was the guy between the pipes keeping the Hawks in games they had no business being in. Last night it was Marc-Andre Fleury’s turn. Luckily he’s been doing shit like this longer than any other active goalie in the business right now. 40 shots and 0 goals later, and the Hawks sneak out of Vancouver with a 1-0 victory in a game that saw the Nucks pour 30 shots on goal in the first two periods vs the 13 the Hawks were able to muster against Thatcher Demko.

Yet there it was, 4 minutes into the 3rd period with Brandon Hagel (who has looked excellent in his return from injury) screening Demko and catching just enough of the puck to deflect it into the back of the net, giving the Hawks a lead Fleury wouldn’t allow them to cough up. The Nucks carried a 60% CORSI share for the entire game, and yet come out the losers here (shame, that). When the heat map looks something like this, you know your team done just got goalie’d:

What is interesting about the Hawks lately is despite the lack of shots being generated by the offense, the high danger scoring chances haven’t really gone down at all. Obviously this is a result of Derek King’s laissez faire approach towards directing the offense, but I can’t tell if it’s a conscious effort from the forwards to hold off for better shots instead of firing the puck at the net. The Hawks PDO since King has taken over has been in the triple digits in every game (except Edmonton, obvs), whereas only twice in the 12 games Colliton was in charge. It’s a small sample size, but it’s encouraging for sure.

As far as shoring things up defensively, the Hawks can’t continue counting on Fleury to stop 71 of 73 shots in two games. The forwards are going to have to start helping out down low, but it’s a process adjusting to playing pickup hockey after Colliton was trying to get them to split the atom in their own zone. Let’s revisit this before Xmas and see if there has been any improvement.

Moving on.

Hockey

Terminal Failocity – Hawks Still Winless After 9 Games

By Andy Jonathan 719

It just keeps getting dumber.

The Hawks continued their slide into oblivion this week, with 2 regulation losses and one OT loss to Toronto. With the specter of the sexual assault of Kyle Beach fresh in everyone’s minds, combined with less than stellar statements by some of the Hawks longest-tenured players, the on-ice product continues to be secondary. That being said we’re still a hockey blog so I suppose we have to cover what’s actually occurring in the games as well, so for those who still give a shit (I’m still trying to process all this and where it leaves me as a fan of both the Hawks and the NHL in general) here’s a nifty recap of the week’s failings:

 

NUMBERS DON’T LIE

 

10/27/2021

Leafs 3 – Hawks 2 (OT)

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick

 

The Hawks absolutely did not deserve to get any points out of this game, but Toronto is something of an overturned clown car in their own right, so naturally the Hawks jumped out to a 2-0 lead on the backs of goals by Dach and DeBrincat. This ended the record setting leadless streak of the team, with the new Time To Beat at 365:44. Amazingly, the lead held up for almost a period and a half before reality came crashing back down in the form of Old Friend David Kampf potting the tying goal with 6 to go in the game. Once that happened it was just a question of if the Hawks could hang on until overtime before they urped up the losing goal.

Up until that point, Kevin Lankinen kept them in the game with a boatload of saves off high danger chances off the sticks of Toronto players. Despite the lead the Hawks maintained, they got fucking skulled in possession with the highest percentage in a period being the 2nd where they held a whopping 38% of the share. The ending was inevitable, and nobody was surprised when Nylander’s shot in OT found twine.

 

10/29/2021

Hawks 3 – Canes 6

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick

 

Wow, back to back games with a lead for the Hawks as Brandon Hagel scored his first of the season 6 minutes into the game. This one lasted less than a minute, and in typical Hawks fashion it was because Jake McCabe pinching in to try and keep the play alive, but instead missing the net and starting a 2 on 1 the other way, leaving Connor Murphy out to dry and allowing racist shitbag Tony DeAngelo to pot his first goal of the year.

After that, the floodgates opened and the Hawks ended the 1st down 4-2. Raanta had the answer to any question the Hawks were asking until a PP goal in the 3rd, but by then it was far too little too late. On the cooler side of things, Isaak Phillips made his first career start, making him the first ever alumn of Team Jamaica to play in the NHL. Sadly the Boy Genius paired him with Erik Gustafsson and now Phillips hates the sport of hockey.

 

10/30/2021

Hawks 0 – Blues 1

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick

 

If Marc Andre Fleury wasn’t questioning his sanity in coming to Chicago instead of retiring before, I guarantee he is now. Fleury did everything he could to keep the Hawks in this game, and was successful for 55 minutes of it before the inevitable happened. The 1-0 shutout leaves the Hawks winless and completely without answers to any fucking questions at all. If the Hawks can’t beat Ottawa Monday, there’s no end to this in sight.

There’s really nothing left to say about how this hockey team plays the game. They can’t get out of their own zone cleanly, and when they happen to get into the offensive zone they can’t generate any pressure at all. They’ve only scored 7 even strength goals in 9 fucking games, and average a 45% CORSI share (2nd lowest in the league) per. It’s like the early 2000s, but at least those teams had the excuse of being comprised of AHL talent. This team is capped out to the max, and nobody seems to know where they’re going or what they’re supposed to do. Colliton is a big part of this, but you could put Claude Julien in there right now and it wouldn’t make a TON of difference if the players had this level of urgency. It’s all one giant shrug emoji right now, and I don’t know what they can do about it other than keep losing.

 

Eat At Arby’s

Hockey

We’re Not Gonna Stop Until We Make You Hate Us – Hawks Set Record For Futility To Start Season

By Andy Jonathan 909

It’s not getting any better, folks.

The Hawks have now lost 6 games in the fledgling 2021-22 season (Motto: Good Seats Still Available) and have set an NHL record for shame and futility having now gone 360 straight minutes to open a season without having a lead in a game. In addition to that heaping pile of pathetic, the Hawks sellout streak ended in acrimony on Sunday night with an announced attendance of 19,042 but in reality looked a lot more like this (courtesy of Ben Pope on the Tweet Machine):

The end of the sellout streak resulted in this unintentionally hilarious statement from front office bobblehead Danny Wirtz, which basically implied that yes, good seats ARE INDEED STILL AVAILABLE:

With a slate of games upcoming against higher tier opponents like St. Louis and Carolina, its very possible that this Hawks team will start the season 0-8-1. While everyone assumes the team is going to HAVE to launch Jeremy Colliton into the sun if that were to happen, I’m not entirely convinced Stan will put him out of his misery. The two are irrevocably tied together, and Old Yeller-ing one would require the same of the other.

I personally have no evidence of this, but I’m wondering if the Wirtz Clan is keeping Stan around to take the fall for the sex abuse scandal when the discovery phase of the trial hits. Either way, this shit has become nigh unwatchable and based on ticket prices on Stubhub I don’t know if Danny Boy will be able to wait that long, or if there will be anyone left to care when he does.

TO THE BULLETS:

NUMBERS DON’T LIE

 

October 19th, 2021

Islanders 4 – Hawks 1 

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick 

 

One period into this game, it kinda sorta seemed like the Hawks were going to make an effort of it. They kept the Isles pinned in their zone to the tune of a 60% CORSI for (their highest number for a period thus far in the season), and had a couple of dangerous chances against Ilya Sorokin that should’ve had the Hawks feeling pretty good about themselves heading into the locker room after 1.

The reality of it all was, however, that the Isles were simply playing the perfect road game there on Madison and they merely waited for the Hawks to (inevitably) make a stupid mistake and then capitalized on it. That mistake came in the form of Henrik Borgstrom, Riley Stillman and Erik Gustafsson (of course) chasing Oliver Whalstrom below the fucking goal line, leaving Anthony Beauvillier all alone to slip one past a sprawling Marc Andre Fleury, making it 1-0 and giving the Isles a lead that they’d never relinquish.

The Isles made it 4-0 on two goals by Whalstrom and one by Cal Clusterfuck before MacKenzie Entwhistle was able to end Sorokin’s shutout bid with 26 seconds left in the game. As we’ve been saying all along, any coach worth his salt will eventually pants Jeremy Colliton right out of the building and Barry Trotz is worth mountains of it. This outcome was preordained and shouldn’t have been a shock to anyone with a functional parietal lobe.

 

October 21st, 2021

Canucks 4 – Hawks 1

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick 

 

Once again, it seemed like the Hawks might have a chance in this one as the first really wasn’t the dumpster fire the other first periods were during week one of the season. The Canucks did score first, and predictably it came from Erik Gustafsson being out of position chasing a hit below the goal line again and leaving the slot wide open for a Jason Dickinson one timer. The Hawks were able to answer not 2 minutes later however when Kyle Burroughs was sent to the sin bin for tripping up DeBrincat. The Hawks power play (which has been the only fucking decent thing so far this year) went right to work, with Kane winning a board battle against Dickinson and Tucker Poolman (porn name) and sent the puck up to Seth Jones who set up DeBrincat with a nifty one timer that beat Thatcher Demko far side.

Looking at the CORSI for the game, you’d have to assume that the Hawks got goalied as they held a 52 and 61% share of the possession in the 2nd and the 3rd, and had a majority of the high danger chances the rest of the way, but it never really felt like Demko had to work much to keep the Nucks on top. Meanwhile at the other end, every time Vancouver crossed into the Hawks zone you pretty much expected the puck to end up behind Lankinen and that’s pretty much what happened. Demko made some choice saves and Lankinen didn’t. 0-4-1.

 

October 24th, 2021

Red Wings 6 – Blackhawks 3

Box Score | Natural Stat Trick

 

Honestly, there’s not much to say here. The Hawks got absolutely domed in all facets of the game by a team that had played the night before (and been scorched to a crisp by what had been a winless Montreal team up to that point) and was on it’s 3rd game in 4 days in 3 time zones. Marc Andre Fleury looked completely disintristed, and really who can blame him when most of his “defenders” avoid the area in front of his crease like Tyler Bertuzzi and scientific evidence.

With Patrick Kane out as a close contact exposure to BERTUZZI-19, the power play was pretty lifeless, pissing away two 5 on 3 opportunities. Tyler Johnson made a nice play in the 1st powering his way to the net, but then wiped it all away by taking 2 dumb stick penalties immediately after the Hawks had score, killing any momentum generated. The UC was half empty, and the half that was filled was at lest 50% Detroit fans. The sellout streak ended, but it’s been replaced by a much worse one with the Hawks now owning the dubious distinction of going the longest to start a season without a lead. Then the cherry on top of the shit sundae happened in the 3rd:

Un-fucking-real.

There’s no end in sight for any of this, as much as we all want to get off this poorly maintained carnival ride. The roller coaster is out of tracks, and Stan Bowman is the carnie asshole who forgot to finish building it. There’s no coaching going on, there’s no fun being had by anyone, and there’s little hope that anything could possibly be turned around before the coaster flies into a brick wall, but at least there are still good seats available.

Eat At Arby’s

 

Baseball

It’s A Fucking Time Warp: Sox Season Ends In A Very Familiar Way

By Andy Jonathan 756

BOX SCORES

Game 1: White Sox 1 – Astros 6

Game 2: White Sox 4 – Astros 9

Game 3: White Sox 12 – Astros 6

Game 4: White Sox 1 – Astros 10

 

So after all that, the Sox season ends the exact same way it did almost 12 months ago with the team winning one measly postseason game mostly due to the fact that their starting pitching couldn’t get it done. Lance McCullers almost singlehandedly pitched more innings than the White Sox starters combined (granted it may have cost him his UCL joint, but I digress), and the Sox managed a whopping 2 runs off him.

We were told at the beginning of the season that the whole reason Tony LaRussa was brought in was so he could provide the type of playoff experience the previous manager couldn’t. If he was making some amazing tactical decisions from the dugout, I don’t think the message made it to the field. He actually set the tone pretty early by pinch hitting for Adam Engel in game 1 with Leury Garcia, a move which bore fruit for the Astros not a half inning later when Leury took the kind of path to a Carlos Correa line drive that’s normally associated with roadside sobriety tests.

We got to watch the Sox offense pound the ball into the dirt thanks to the brilliant philosophy of one Frank Menechino, who “doesn’t give a fuck” about home runs but apparently loves his team having the 3rd highest ground ball ratio in the entire league, behind such luminaries as the Texas Rangers (84 wRC+) and the Washington Nationals (So good they traded Max Scherzer and Trea Turner to the Dodgers).

The only deadline acquisition that worked for Rick Hahn was Ryan Tepera, and he’s the only one who should be brought back in the off-season. Craig Kimbrel will have his option picked up and traded to a different contender so he can resume being lights out, and the less said about Caesar Hernandez the better.

So the same issues the team had last December will be the same fucking issues they’ll have this December, mostly because of their skinflint owner (who in true Chicago Tradition will either have to sell the team or die for anything to change) refuses to spend the money to fill the necessary holes.

Instead we’re left with another fall watching teams that know how to operate play in the postseason, wondering what professional baseball would be like on the South Side if the GM had full autonomy to make the moves necessary to create a true monster of a baseball team. Instead we’ll get Rick Hahn in December talking about how Aristides Aquino is going to finally put it all together for the Sox next year.

I tried taking a few days off before writing this to see if I’d get “less angry” as time went on, and the opposite happened. So I’m gonna maybe take a month off or so and see what the winter meetings bring before I come back and write anything else.

Thanks to all of you who hung with us this season, it was (mostly) fun for me and I hope you enjoyed some of the content. Thanks to the FFUD brain trust for letting me write pretty much whatever I wanted and whenever I was able to do so this year. At least now I get to look forward to writing about the Blackhawks, which I’m sure will definitely not be frustrating at all.

Baseball

Series Recap – Sox Sweep Reds: It’s All Coming Together

By Andy Jonathan 910

BOX SCORES

Game 1: Reds 1 – White Sox 7

Game 2: Reds 1 – White Sox 6

 

In a 2 game stint against a team clinging to playoff contention with a single fingernail, the Sox walked to the edge of that cliff and stomped squarely on that finger, sending the Reds to the bottom of the sea. Both Reynaldo Lopez and a diminished Carlos Rodon were able to hold a disinterested Cincinnati offense at bay, while Luis Robert continued to put the rest of the league on notice that he’s coming for his seat at the Table Of The Upper Echelon.

In other news, word broke yesterday that Tim Anderson somehow landed himself a 3-game suspension for supposedly “making contact” with umpire Tim Timmons (clearly a fake name) during the benches-clearing fracas stemming from Jose Abreu getting plunked for approximately the 6,548th time this season. In video posted to the internet, you can see Timmons and Timmy (new jazz-fusion group name) face to face but really nothing comes of it. The suspension is being appealed, and won’t affect Timmy’s availability for the postseason. I guess we’ll just wait and see what actually happened down there.

 

NUMBERS DON’T LIE

GAME 1

-Reynaldo Lopez continues to make a solid case for him to be on the postseason roster with another excellent outing. His 6 innings of 2 hit ball were only slightly marred by an Eugenio Suarez bombshot in the 5th inning. Even better, he only needed 80 pitches to get through 6, showing his newfound efficiency. Nice work.

-Luis Robert had two dingers on the night, the second of which was absolutely murdered and briefly showed up on our radar here at work. He’s been a force of nature recently, and has matured into the world destroyer Rick Hahn was hoping for when he coughed up that international signing money.

-In addition to Robert’s two blasts, Yoan Moncada and Gavin Sheets each added solo shots of their own. Sheets is another one who I would say has absolutely earned himself a playoff roster spot, as that kind of insane power from the left side will be very useful going forward.

-Jose Ruiz, Aaron Bummer and Matt Foster all added scoreless innings of relief, and while only 2 of those 3 will be pitching in the postseason it’s good to see.

GAME 2

-Carlos Rodon looked solid in his final tune-up before postseason play, though his velocity was still considerably down. Instead of dominating the Reds lineup with 98-mph fastballs, he kept them off kilter with 85 mph changeups and sliders then occasionally peppering them with a fastball that topped out at 93. Whether or not he was holding back due to the impending playoff pitching he’ll be asked to do (I don’t think this is the case), he was definitely good enough to hold down a depressed Reds offense. Will it be enough next week? We’ll see, but either way his arm strength will be one of the biggest storylines heading into the Astros series.

-Oh look, more dingers from Gavin Sheets.

-Michael Kopech finally got to go more than 2 innings, and made the most of the 3 he was given. The 2 walks weren’t great, but the overall performance is exactly what you’d want to see out of him.

-Leury Legend continued to swing a hot bat, going 2-4 with an RBI and run scored. Once Adam Engel is fully stretched out and ready for the playoffs, it’ll be interesting to see how much Caesar Hernandez actually plays.

 

 

Next up is the final series of the regular season. Naturally it’s against the team involved in the bench-clearing incident from the other day. I would fully expect things to be less chippy this time around, and wouldn’t be shocked if both teams start with umpire warnings in effect.

With the Astros 1.5 games ahead of the Sox in the standings, the odds of home field advantage are pretty long. The ultimate goal this weekend is to get out of the series unscathed, so expect to see pretty short outings from Giolito and Lance Lynn. In addition to that, it should be the last appearances for guys like Mike Wright Jr and Matt Foster so just one more time to deal with that. Stay healthy and get through the weekend, then it’s time to fuck up the Asstros.

Let’s Go Sox!

Baseball

Series Recap: Sox Swept By Tigers – The Drizzling Shits

By Andy Jonathan 926

BOX SCORES

Game 1: White Sox 3 – Tigers 4

Game 2: White Sox 3 – Tigers 5

Game 3: PPD (RAIN)

 

As the Sox continue their inevitable slide towards the postseason, the consternation and fears of a fanbase that has watched a lifeless team slog it’s way through the 2nd half of the season has reached a crescendo. Game one of this series saw the Sox jump out to a 3-0 lead, then promptly ball their hands up into a fist and punch themselves collectively in the dick with some terrible-ass fielding and less than stellar relieving from Kimbrel. Game 2 had the Sox strand 17 runners on the diamond, and Jace Fry doing Jace Fry things.

In reality, this series is basically the Sox 2nd half in a nutshell. Ample opportunities to break the game open but runners stranded on base due to a lack of timely hitting. Starting pitching that was unable to make it past the 5th inning, putting undue strain on a pretty taxed bullpen. Defense that is eye-bleedingly bad, putting more on the shoulders of said pitching staff. TLR playing get away lineups every day. It just hasn’t been great.

Despite the above, the Sox are all but guaranteed to be in the postseason thanks to the complete disinterest of the Cleveland Guardians during the same time frame. This lack of urgency to be competitive in these games is understandable, simply due to the avalanche of injuries that have come the Sox way that were the result of hustling down the line or in the outfield. Maintenence has become the most important thing for Tony LaRussa, and understandably so. With only 12 games remaining however, it might be time for him to roll with the big guns the rest of the way to remind everyone how things were done on the South Side in the first half of the year.

 

To The Bullets!

 

NUMBERS DON’T LIE

 

GAME 1

-The biggest concern out of this game is the health of Carlos Rodon. From the 2nd inning onward, it was pretty apparent that there was something going on with his arm, as he was topping out at 92-93 MPH on his 4-seamer, and by the 3rd inning he couldn’t break 90. TLR said after the game that there was concern about his shoulder and it was unlikely he would pitch again before the last series of the season. Yikes.

-This was not a great night for trade deadline acquisitions. Caesar Hernandez forgot how tagging runners with the ball works in the bottom of the 3rd inning, allowing the Tigers to tie the game. Then Craig Kimbrel (who was cruising up to this point) plunked Robbie Grossman on the shoe top in the 8th with the game tied. Grossman promptly stole 2nd, then scored as Kimbrel semi-hung a 2-2 knuckle curve to Harold Castro (who last took a walk during the Obama Administration) where he laced it into right field. Game over.

-The Sox had a chance to blow this open in the top of the 3rd, loading the bases with nobody out. They ended up getting 3 out of the inning, but only 1 of those was knocked in by an actual hit. The other two were an RBI ground out by Yoan (who deserves credit for blazing down the line and breaking up the DP), and a sac fly by Grandal. The woes of the offense leaving people stranded continue.

– The trio of Jose Ruiz, Garrett Crochet, and Ryan Burr deserve a lot of credit for keeping the Sox in the game after Rodon left after the 3rd inning. Only Ruiz allowed a baserunner, and the trio had 5 Ks between them. Good shit.

GAME 2

-Dallas Keuchel had his 2nd straight decent start, going 5 innings and allowing 2 runs. The 11 hits and 1 walk in those 5 innings is where potentially having to start him in the postseason becomes very itchy. Anyone with a 2+ WHIP shouldn’t be pitching in a playoff game, let alone starting one. If Rodon can’t answer the bell, the Sox should be going Lynn/Gio/Cease/and a Kopech and Lopez combo if the need arises.

-Eloy is scuffling right now in the worst way. He singlehandedly left 6 runners on base, and grounded into a double play with the bases loaded in the top of the 3rd, killing all the momentum dead. There’s still time for the Big Baby to turn it around, but it just doesn’t look like he’s having much fun right now.

-Timmy got his average back above .300 in the game with a pair of hits (one of which was of the extra base variety), and is starting to look like himself again (especially with sweet off balance throw home in the 6th to nab Victor Reyes after air mailing a throw earlier in the inning).

-Luis Robert and Yasmani Grandal might be the only Sox hitters approaching the peak of their powers right now, as they’re both clearly dialed in.

-Yeah, Jace Fry sucked. He’s not gonna be on the postseason roster, however. So I’m not too burned up about it.

-Liam Hendriks is a delight.

 

With the Magic Number currently sitting at 2 for the Sox, it’s only natural that their opponents this weekend will be the Cleveland Guardians. A chance for the Sox to clinch the division on the field at The Jake should be motivation enough for them to sweep the double header on Thursday and beer it up in front of the Cleveland faithful. LaRussa has yet to announce the pitching lineup for the weekend, but Lance Lynn would be going on normal rest Thursday with most likely an opener for game 2. Maybe Kopech? I’d love to see it.

The Sox need to get the clinching out of the way, so perhaps they can unclench and get back to playing fun (watchable) baseball. This team hasn’t been at “Full Strength” all season, and I really wanna see the offense turn into the Death Star we all know it can be. Take Cleveland out behind the barn, end their misery, then celebrate and forget about how shitty they’ve been playing. Relax and just have fun the rest of the way, and bring us all along for the ride.

Let’s Go Sox.