Everything Else

Blah Blah Blah: Predators at Hawks Game 2 Preview/Rug Cleaning

By 1733

 vs. 

Preds lead 1-0

PUCK DROP: 7pm Central

TV: NBC 

WHY DID YOU KILL THAT BIRD, ASSHOLE?: On The Forecheck

Projected Lineups

It’s almost as if it’s scripted these days. We’ve seen it before. Whatever playoff game the opponent simply packs it in their zone, traps just outside the offensive blue line, crowds their own crease, and we hear all the same things from the Hawks and the media covering them. “Traffic.” “Take away his eyes.” “Be harder (PHRASING).” “Annette Frontpresence.”

And it’s not that all of this is wrong. It’s just that you wouldn’t hear any of it if Anisimov isn’t rusty and buries one or two of his chances, or a shot into that said traffic bounces onto someone’s stick or past Rinne. It’s not like the Hawks have to make massive changes, and we don’t know if the Predators will or not either.

Everything Else

Aloha – Game 1 – Predators vs Hawks Preview, Instant Re-Finance

By 1692

 vs 

Game Time: 7:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN (US), TVA-S2 (Canada), WGN-AM 720
Golden Showers: On The Forecheck

The long national nightmare is over, The Chicago Blackhawks are once again playing hockey games that matter. And they’re doing so from their most advantageous position in four years, with home ice for as long as they remain in the Western Conference playoffs. For those counting at home, under Joel Quenneville the Hawks are 11-1 in series wherein they have home ice, the lone outlier being the 2014 Western Conference Final, which took to Game 7 in OT to end. That also remains the only series that the Hawks have ended up losing wherein they have taken Game 1. The road is laid out for them, and the first step is tonight on West Madison against the Nashville Predators.

Everything Else

Feed The Animals – Hawks at Penguins Preview, Overdraft Notification

By 1447

 at 

Game Time: 7:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Noah Didn’t Take No Penguins With Him On The Ark: PensBurgh

Once again the Hawks find themselves a part of NBCSN’s RIVALRY NIGHT with a team they see a sum total of twice a year. The network should just call the event “Wednesday Night Hockey” and play up the rivalry when there actually is one. Though, to much of rockheaded fanbase of this league, there is still somehow a “rivalry” between the captains of these two teams, even though it’s long been established that the one on the Penguins’ side of things is far and away the better player. But a superstar matchup is a superstar matchup, even this late in the season when most of the playoff picture has been settled and teams like this are basically trying to not get hurt.

Everything Else

Till The Wheels Fall Off – Hawks at Lightning Preview, Security Camera Installation

By 1524

 at 

Game Time:  6:30PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Haunting, Haunted, Haunts: Raw Charge

While the Hawks might be in cruise control with at home ice in the first round only two points away from being clinched and being seven up in the conference for home ice in the West, this week is could certainly make things interesting by playing 5 straight games in the east, with every one of them with at least something on paper to play for. Saturday night already saw the Hawks get bitten in the dick by the Cats, and tonight they stay in Florida to face a Lightning team hanging by a thread.

Everything Else

No One Can Be Trusted, Everyone Is A Suspect – Hawks at Panthers Preview, All-Inclusive Spring Break Package

By 1559

 at 

Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: WGN, NHLN (US), WGN-AM 720
Panther Like A Panther: Litter Box Cats

With the season coming around the final turn, the Hawks find themselves nearly completely clear of divisional and conference play with 10% of the schedule still remaining. Of the eight games left, only one is against a Central opponent, and since it’s Colorado it doesn’t even really count anyway. And the first five of that stretch are all against eastern conference opponents, beginning with a Florida trip starting tonight in Sunrise before swinging up to Tampa on Monday.

Everything Else

Orgasm Addict: Stars 2 – Hawks 2 (Hawks win Shadowrun)

By 1220

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

“Well, you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks
But now you found out that it’s a habit that sticks”

For the third game in a row the Hawks couldn’t raise their give-a-fuck level much beyond tepid against one of the products of the league’s sludge factory. And once again they came out of it with points, this time maximum. Only a possible goalie-interference denied them six points out of six from three games that they played as a bar bet. It’s a neat trick if you can pull it off. With the win the Hawks move eight points up on the the Zack Wyldes with nine games to play. They’re almost dormie!

This isn’t one that anybody would use as an example of what the sport can be. The Hawks weren’t bothered, the Stars didn’t seem interested in anything more than getting to the end of the season quicker. It was like an exchange at a 4am bar where the invitation to go home together is out there but the other party realizes they’re too drunk and stupid to do much good if they take it (just me?). The Hawks surrendered 40+ shots again to a team they shouldn’t be doing that against, but we’ll chalk it up to late season, nothing-to-play-for malaise than anything structural or worth worrying about.

As he’s been most of the season, Crawford was able to bail the Hawks out. Because that’s a thing he does.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

Yeah, She’s Doing The Lindy Hop: Stars at Hawks Preview/Vinyl Swap

By 1330

 vs. 

RECORDS: Stars 29-33-10   Hawks 47-20-6

PUCK DROP: 7:30pm

TV: CSN

YU DARVISH FAN CLUB: Defending Big D

PROJECTED LINEUPS

TEAM ADJUSTED CORSI%: Stars – 49.3 (2oth)  Hawks – 50.8 (11th)

TEAM ADJUSTED xGF%: Stars – 48.3 (20th)  Hawks – 49.2 (18th)

POWER PLAY: Stars – 18.1 (19th)  Hawks – 19.1 (15th)

PENALTY KILL: Stars – 74.0 (Dead Ass Last)  Hawks – 77.7 (26th)

What a strange little stretch for the Hawks. They saw teams at the top of the standings, didn’t play well for the most part, won all of them. They returned home to face two things from the bog in the Avs and Canucks, and had to pull a rabbit out of their hat to get a win and a point against them respectively. So where their attention level is going to be tonight is best estimated by throwing a dart at any wall in your office/apartment (and if you’re wondering if I really mean “coworker” instead of “wall”… I leave that to you). They get another look at sludge tonight in the Dallas Stars.

Everything Else

Jackie, Dressed In Cobras – Canucks 5, Hawks 4 (OT)

By 1438

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

 

Whenever the Hawks and Canucks get together Canucks fans love to recall when every matchup between these one time rivals meant something. Now it means almost less than nothing, if possible. The Blackhawks are going through the motions at this point, resting whoever they can whenever they can, while somehow inching ever closer to wrapping up the division title as Minnesota farts and burps their way into a first round divisional matchup.

At one point almost everyone who watched the sport would agree that Chicago vs Vancouver produced some of the most aesthetically pleasing hockey of the era. Two highly skilled, fast teams, loaded with depth who absolutely hated each other. Tonight was mostly the direct and absolute opposite of that. This was unwatchable garbage for the first two periods with Vancouver barely able to get the puck to the Hawk net (and when they did it seemed to have a 50/50 shot at going in).

And then the usual shenanigans happened. The Blackhawks did exactly what McClure urged them not to do and waited until the last half of the third period to storm back and steal a point, only to eventually lose in OT despite outshooting the Canucks 398-4. Here’s some crap I noticed.

Everything Else

Why Do Guys Like You And Me Know What A Bernier Is?: Ducks 1 – Hawks 0

By 1236

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Well that’s a funny looking strike.

These are the games that really annoy fans like you and us, and not because the Hawks got goalie’d by the Ducks backup. That happens. It’s hockey. This is why it should have been Andy Warhol’s favorite sport, because any jamoke in the gear can have his night. Bernier’s actually been really good the past few appearances, so whatever.

No, what’s annoying is you’ll see a bunch of utterances and belches from players and coaches about how they didn’t get traffic, or didn’t get the greasy goal, or their shot selection is off, because no one can ever admit the guy in the other crease was just better than everyone else. There was nothing wrong about what the Hawks did tonight. They had traffic. They had chances. Another night, they go in. This was not another night. Move on.

Anyway, guess we’d better clean it up.

Everything Else

All Your Friends Are Moving To Denver: Hawks at Avs Preview/Metal Spin Class

By 1326

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 27-14-5  Avalanche 13-27-1

PUCK DROP: 8pm

TV: CSN, NBCSN for those outside the 606

CHILLING AT THE INVENTING ROOM: Mile High Hockey

PROJECTED LINEUPS

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Hawks – 50.0 (15th)  Avs – 44.8 (Dead Ass Last)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Hawks – 47.3 (26th)  Avs – 41.5 (Dead Ass Last)

POWER PLAY %: Hawks – 18.6 (15th)  Avs – 13.0 (29th, because the Wings are Dead Ass Last)

PENALTY KILL %: Hawks – 75.6 (28th)  Avs – 78.5 (24th)

If this recent stretch of Hawks hockey, be it this past weekend or the past couple weeks or the last month and a half, would be something you would define as “middling,” or “disappointing,” there simply can’t be a better cure than a visit to Denver for a contest with the Avs. Though the Hawks lost the last tilt to this bombed out structure, that was the game before the Christmas break when the Hawks were clearly had the motor running. Do that again, and you’ll know the Hawks simply could care less right now.