Everything Else

Central Matters

By Sam Fels 2418 0

We took a bit of a tour through the league last week, but of the more local concerns, what have the other Central Division teams been up to this offseason?

Nashville Predators – The reigning champs haven’t really done much of anything other than watch PK Subban have the summer we all dream of having. They have a ton of cap space but have yet to use it, and Ryan Hartman and Juuse Saaros remain unsigned. Perhaps they’re keeping their powder dry for next summer when they sign Ryan Ellis and/or Pekka Rinne to utterly hilarious extensions. This is probably a team that could use more firepower up front, despite what they keep telling you. Maybe they’re spending it on the Eli Toivanen PR machine. Not sure. Still awfully silent on the Austin Watson case, and they’ll almost assuredly welcome him to training camp with open arms because David Poile is the same bag of shit that every other NHL GM is when it comes to that sort of thing, and don’t let Preds fans tell you different.

Winnipeg Jets – The Jets have also been remarkably quiet, but you can do that when you probably were the West’s most complete team last season. There are still extensions waiting for Hellebuyck, Trouba, Tanev, and Lowry, and the first two could be quite expensive. Even Lowry should get more than you’d think as one of the better checking forwards last year. They lost Stastny to Vegas, but this was a borderline great team before he showed up, and going Scheifele-Little-Perreault-Lowry, or moving Copp or Roslovic to the middle should still make for a great team. They still need a backup goalie of some kind because Hellebuyck isn’t going to play 70 games, and I’ll laugh pretty damn hard if they bring Pavelec back to do that. Still, this is a team that needs to keep space reserved for next summer when Wheeler, Copp. Laine, and Connor are all up for new deals. This is still a team you have to figure out why they can’t come out of the West instead of why they can.

Minnesota Wild – Other than scouring the black market for bionic limbs for Zach Parise, this is the same collection of “Oh that guy” it’s been for at least five years now. J.T. Brown or Eric Fehr don’t really move the needle, and they’ll count on kids like Kunin or Greenway to take this rabble any farther than it’s gone, which they can’t do. Matt Dumba remains unsigned, though they have plenty of space to accommodate whatever his number comes in at. Bruch Boudreau “GO GO GO” ways and Devan Dubnyk probably monkey-hump this team to another playoff appearance, the question for everyone is what good will that do? This is a team screaming for a major shakeup that simply can’t produce one.

Colorado Avalanche – This was a team whose main goal was to not fuck up their rebuild too much, though they’ve been whispered to be in on Erik Karlsson. Matt Calvert is an interest signing who didn’t cost much at $2.8 per, and if he’s restricted to middle six minutes would be a boon to their depth. Tyson Barrie is somehow still here even though they’ve been trying to trade him since the first Obama administration and now he kinda sucks. They brought in Phillip Grubauer to replace Semyon Varlamov, which should be an upgrade. Basically, this team is looking at how much Yost, Kerfoot, Girard, Compher, Rantanen, and Kamenev grow for whatever their improvement is going to be, and that’s basically all they should do. It’s not as promising in Denver as some would have you believe, but it’s far from hopeless either.

St. Louis Blues – We went over this last week, but this is how a team should react to missing the playoffs. Bozak and O’Reilly are massive upgrades on what they had, and that includes Stastny. $4M on David Perron is a complete waste of time other than to my sense of mirth, but given what’s here he can pretty much be restricted to third-line duties which is all he’s ever really been. The defense is still slow and overrated, and Jay Gallon is going to piss fire all over whatever they try and do, but at least it’s a team acting with some urgency.

Dallas Stars – They were poised to make the biggest splash by acquiring Karlsson, and then fucked it up by bragging to everyone how badly they were bending over the Senators and hence the Sens pulled out. So now they’re left with the same problematic squad Jim Nill has built over the years. The return of Nichushkin at least raises some eyebrows, because he flashed being a dominant power forward in his first go-around. It was just drowned in a sea of confused faces the rest of the time. Still, this remains a great top line with Jason Spezza trying not to disintegrate behind it and Martin Hanzal gasping for air. And that hasn’t been addressed. They brought in Roman Polak, which I’m basically out of words for, and he’ll kill Julius Honka’s will to live by December 1st. Ditto Marc Methot and Stephen Johns. Also whatever’s left of Ben Bishop is claiming to still play goal, though Khudobin is not a bad insurance policy.

So if you want to feel better, other than the Blues this is a division full of teams that have stood still. Except the Hawks were worse than all of them last year, and right now you can only see them topping Dallas and Colorado with the second being a real stretch. If Dubnyk finally goes off the boil the Wild actually have a chance to be real bad, but Boudreau never has teams that are real bad in the regular season.

So it’s an even bigger shame the Hawks didn’t do anything to try and jump up in the standings, because it was there to be done.

 

Everything Else

You Get What Anyone Gets: Saying Goodbye To The Nashville Predators

By Sam Fels 3227 0

You can’t run from who you are.

That’s the lesson for the Predators this spring. They told themselves a lot of things. They did a lot of things above their head the past two seasons. But eventually, the truth always comes back. And the Predators go home before any baubles are handed out, other than the Presidents’ Trophy which will hang around their neck like a boulder. And these days we know that trinket gets won by basic randomness of four or five points over the regular season. But it’ll make a fine banner for the yellow-clad, riddlin’, diddlin’, country fiddlin’ mob to make yet another chant about that involves the word “suck” eight times.

Pekka Rinne came into last spring as a Playoff Fleury – Finnish Model. He miracled three rounds, before turning into pop-rocks-in-soda in the Final. Patric Hornqvist is probably still laughing about that clinching goal he scored from the urinal. That was a warning shot. The Predators did not heed it. He put on a Vezina campaign, which was espionage-worthy cover for what was to come. But deep down you knew this was always there. Has any Vezina winner ever been pulled three times in a series? One has now! Don’t worry, at this time next year Preds fans will be convinced that Rinne will have something new figured out at 36.

But it goes deeper than Rinne of course. Let me present two season stat-lines for you:

79 games, 15 goals, 39 assists, 54 points, +1.24 CF% rel, -0.21 xGF% rel

74 games, 20 goals, 32 assists, 52 points, +4.79 CF% rel, +4.19 xGF% rel

One of those lines is Ryan Johansen’s, who I’m told is part of the new crop of young centers taking over the league and is signed for the next eight years. One is Jonathan Toews’s, who I’m told is clinically dead and his bloated carcass should be served to the lion house at Lincoln Park Zoo as food. By the way, Toews is the second one, the better one. Johansen did manage eight points in this series, which is nice. Mark Scheifele managed seven goals on Nashville ice alone. In case you were curious, Preds fans, that’s what a #1 center looks like. But you aren’t curious. Most people wanna know stuff, Predators fans, but you ain’t even suspicious.

It keeps going. Peter Laviolette basically coached this in the same fashion as an air raid siren. Kevin Fiala went from scoring an OT winner to getting scratched for the fat dude from Bloodsport. Lavvy’s team couldn’t do anything when they weren’t parking a bus in the neutral zone, and now you can look forward to this team quitting on him in November and being out of a job by 2019. You can set your watch to it. Oh and I think the Preds just took another dumb, offensive zone penalty. PK Subban at even-strength showed that “slower” and “roasted” isn’t just on the sign at Jack’s across the street. Hey PK, you were supposed to replace Shea Weber, not emulate him! Kyle Turris apparently played in this series. Much like his entire career, did you know he did? No, no you did not. Turris’s favorite food is a saltine in water. Good thing he’s signed forever to be a myth when it counts.

Will it save us from the holier-than-thou attitude Preds fans and hockey media bestow upon this franchise, only discovering it existed last year? No, probably not. We get it all the time here in Chicago about how the Preds are run “the right way.”

Here’s a phrase for you: Re-signed Mike Ribeiro. Shove your own fist down your throat until you can pop your own belly button out.

This was a team that celebrated welcoming back Mike Fisher, who then went on to be just about the worst forward in the league. He can go away forever now to plan his conversion therapy camp, a lifelong dream I’m sure. Maybe while they’re at it they can figure out what it is Carrie Underwood does for a living. “Carrie Underwood” is just another phrase for “Juliana Zobrist.” Nashville: Give us your talentless, your blonde, your utterly desperate to be relevant. I’m sure Underwood pushed to have one of her songs played whenever Fisher scored. Ha, just kidding, Mike Fisher never scored a goal.

They try to tell you Nashville is the cool place to be now, though how you do that by playing Black Keys after your goals is a real wonder. Just because Jack White chose to live there over Detroit is not something you fly a flag for. “We’re Not Detroit” was the tag line of a spoof video promoting Cleveland, remember. This is still Shit-Kicker-Burgh. They had the CMA awards not long ago. Or was it the NRA convention? Can you tell the difference? I couldn’t!

So now Cellblock and The Yellow Pickup go back home from the summer, rehearsing all those chants that have the same five words. Congratulations Preds fans, your lifted chants make you a run-of-the-mill MLS atmosphere. You must be so proud. Come to think of, Mike Fisher would be a the definition of a big MLS signing, given he’s 93 years old.

The Preds are pretty much jammed into bringing the exact same team back next year, when Rinne will be a year older and mentally broken, Lavvy will be fired, and David Poile can still make a deal to ruin it all. Maybe he can bring Paul Gaustad back. The Jets aren’t going anywhere, either. The Avs, who came a lot closer to pantsing the Preds in the first round than they had any right to, will be better. Corey Crawford likely won’t be hurt. The Stars might actually listen to a coach (yeah, right). It’s not getting any easier for them, and it certainly won’t if Johansen and Subban keep their Chips Ahoy! eating contest going before every game.

So long, Predators. Keep on keepin’ the red out. Maybe you can do a chant about that. We know you won’t have one about winning anything anyone remembers.

 

 

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 2 Day 12: All Good Things…

By Sam Fels 1534 0

Let’s jump right into it:

Caps 2 – Pens 1  OT (Caps win….wait, what?)

There’s a lot to take out of last night’s seismic shift. I think the one that sticks with me most is that since the Islanders won four in a row, no team that’s going for its third straight Cup has gotten past the second round. Now, that’s a touch of a misnomer. If Steve Smith hadn’t fired the puck into his own net in ’86 the Oilers almost certainly win five straight Cups, and the Flames back then were actually an all-time great team that just kept running up against probably the best team of all-time. When they went for a three-peat the second time, they had the small obstacle of TRADING WAYNE FUCKING GRETZKY before that season started. Speaking of which, what would Twitter have been like then if the Kings traded Gretzky and then lost to him in the playoffs, and then won a Cup without him the next year? You think the treatment of LeBron is bad?

BUT THAT’S NOT WHY YOU CALLED.

What I’m saying is the Penguins looked a spent force last night. The will was there but the legs weren’t. Because of Burakovsky’s and Backstrom’s absence, the Caps had no choice but to gum this one up, which they did very well. The Penguins the past three seasons have always been a high-wire act, and it’s something of a miracle they’ve gotten as far as they have. Much like the Jets–there’s going to be a continuing theme here–this is not a team really built to bust traps. You’d think they would be with Letang and Schultz but both seem to be better joining a rush than starting one. The Penguins have lived by pushing and pushing and if their d-men get caught so what? Murray will bail them out. He couldn’t any more last night or really this series, and now they’re going home early for the first time since the Hawks last won, 103 years ago.

At some point, Malkin (who clearly is not healthy) and Crosby run out of miracles. It’s also official now that Olli Maatta sucks. I highly doubt the Pens won’t be contenders next year, but it also feels like things need to go right for them a lot. Then again, that’s true of any team.

I got a huge kick out of Pierre McGuire coming to their defense with the players they’ve lost from last year: Trevor Daley, Ron Hainsey, Fleury, Nick Bonino, Ian Cole. The three d-men aren’t any damn good, the goalie wouldn’t be playing for them anyway, and I guess Bonino is fine but was replaced by Derick Brassard is basically the same thing.

For the Caps, it’s impossible to prove if everyone kind of ignoring them this year helped or didn’t matter, but they’ll take it. You can’t help but be happy for Ovechkin, who’s had to eat a lot of shit because his coaches were fucking morons or his goalies weren’t up to it or they just ran up against a better team. Sure, this won’t matter all that much when they’re turned into processed waste by the Lightning, but at least he’ll get a glimpse.

Predators 4 – Jets 0 (Tied 3-3)

We all would have asked for a Game 7, but I’m not exactly encouraged that the Caps and Preds got to where they are today by having to turn the game back to 1997. The Preds did exactly what they did in Game 4, admit they can’t run with the Jets and hence trap the shit out of them and wait for their opportunities. And once again, because Paul Maurice hasn’t quite left his moron tendencies behind, has Dustin “Have You Tried The Nacho Fries?” Byfuglien skating five more minutes than any of his other d-men. Buff is not a trap-buster, he’s too stupid and lazy. He’s going to provide the mistakes the Preds can capitalize on, which they did. Trouba, who admittedly didn’t cover himself in glory on Forsberg’s ludicrous second goal, barely played more than Tyler Myers, who’s doing a damn fine Byfuglien impression himself. When the Preds put this on the Winnipeg defense instead of their forwards, they’re a lot better off.

Again, just like Game 5, the question becomes do the Preds have the gumption to do this at home and bore the shit out of their fans? They won’t care as long as they win, but they didn’t in Game 5 and they got smoked. And again, the margins are small when you do this. They’ve gotten away with it twice but a third might be asking too much. What happens if the Jets can manage to score first? What if all the dumb penalties the Preds are taking, and there’s a lot of them, finally puts them behind when they just want to trap?

They don’t really have a choice. Giving any space to the Jets is pretty much death. We’ll see if Maurice has the light hit him and figures out a way for his team to stop panicking with the puck when faced with three guys back. The Jets are big and fast and there’s really no reason they can’t find something if they just have to keep putting pucks behind the Preds’ defense and win it back. They seemed reluctant to do so last night, instead just turning it over at the blue line repeatedly.

It should be a fascinating Game 7. I don’t know that it’ll be entertaining.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 2 Weekend 2 Wrap: The Truth Comes Out

By Sam Fels 1527 0

Found out a lot about a lot this weekend. Let’s get to it:

Winnipeg Leads Nashville 3-2

This series has basically been delicious. It confirms everything we thought about the Preds, in that they were more Pekka Rinne than they or any of their sycophants who just want to drink on Broadway again in the spring for free wanted to consider. The Preds got back into the series by trapping and basically playing 90’s Knicks basketball, and they still needed a miracle save from Rinne to make that work. Back at home and in front of a crowd too busy trying to memorize all their chants that are just variants of the word “suck,” they didn’t feel they could do that. They tried to go toe-to-toe with the Jets, and they got stomped. Sure, the shots and attempts charts will tell you this was a more even game. But an even game with the Jets isn’t an even game. They have more firepower than just about anyone in the league at forward. So if you’re getting the same amount and type of chances they are, most likely they’re going to bury more of them.

And Kyle Connor turning Treat Boy into bucket-and-mop material didn’t do my heart any worse either.

So now Laviolette has a choice. He can try and trap and stall his way back home to a Game 7, a method that works but has a very low margin for error. One bad deflection undoes all the work. And if it doesn’t work he’s going to face some tough questions about why he was fucking with his lineup all playoffs long to get guys like Scott Fucking Hartnell in the lineup but not Calle Jarnkrok or Kevin Fiala. It’s especially hilarious because next year is almost assuredly the time on Lavvy’s clock when his players start to regard him as a bellowing meat sack and tune him out. It’s happened everywhere he’s been, and it’s a miracle he’s lasted in Music City this long. A lot rides on tonight.

Knights defeat Sharks 4-2

I had suspected that the Sharks weren’t all that good, but hoped for better. Then again, I don’t know what you do when a goalie is throwing a .965 at you at evens, which is what Marc-Andre Fleury is doing. And that’s really what it comes down to. It’s not that the Knights aren’t deserving winners of this series. But if Fleury were playing at a mere mortal level, even with like a superb .930 or something, this series is headed back to the desert for a Game 7 or it’s already over the other way.

The Sharks will have some decisions to make this summer, as every key player they have is over 30 with the exception of Martin Jones. They’re considered the leaders to get Tavares, which would certainly change the complexion of the next couple of years whether Thornton stays or retires or goes because of it. If they don’t get Tavares though, you wonder how much longer they can keep coming up with decent seasons and playoff runs. Especially if  Calgary and Edmonton were ever to get their act together (don’t need to worry about the latter, thought).

As for the Knights, my suspicion, based on anything normal, is that this all comes to an end against whoever’s next. They can’t outrun the Jets for sure, and though the Preds’ might isn’t what most think they can match Vegas’s forwards and have a fleet defense that won’t be overawed by Vegas’s forecheck. They also wouldn’t insist on playing Paul Martin for a portion of it because they’ve been hit with a brick when they weren’t looking. But that assumes a normal goalie performance, and Fleury is doing anything but that. To bet against him is a fool’s errand.

Also, with Rinne and Fleury having career renaissances at 33 and 34 as they have, that gives you faith that should Corey Crawford ever be healthy he can maintain the level he was setting too.

Capitals lead Pittsburgh 3-2

Oh, Caps. Won’t you ever learn? Don’t you see where this is taking you? Haven’t you walked this road again and again? We know this road. We know exactly where it ends.

As sick as I am of Caps fans everywhere nailing themselves to a cross every four minutes, it’s about time Alex Ovechkin broke through. Sure, they’ll get railroaded by the Lightning in the next round, who are now going to be rested and having played just 10 games to get this far. But do you trust them? Do you trust Holtby to play well enough to keep the Penguins down for two games? Do you trust the Caps to get goals from anywhere else besides their top line? Do you trust Tom Wilson not to completely fuck up Game 7 when he comes back?

It could happen. These things always seems to reverse at some point. Even the Canucks got to a Final once. The Penguins just might be out of gas. Their defense might just be too creaky and the Caps might have sensed they can get behind it whenever they want. Maybe Sid doesn’t have any magic jewels left in his bag.

But which way would you wager?

Lightning Beat Bruins 4-1

We’ll save most of our thoughts for the eulogy, but the Bruins might have been the biggest mirage we’ve seen in a long time. They were one line and a goalie playing well, and because that one line was so other worldly it masked all their other problems. But when that one line couldn’t go for three a night, they got utterly stomped.

The hockey season is long enough that there’s plenty of time to outthink yourself. The Bolts were the best team before the season started, and there really was never a reason to think they were otherwise other than boredom and injuries. They have four lines and three pairings, though someone is going to expose Dan Girardi and Anton Stralman. It won’t be the Caps or Penguins though, at least not the Caps. We should be all in for a Lightning-Jets Final, not only because it would piss NBC off to no end and you’d get many hockey writer tears about not being able to go to Nashville or Vegas on the company dime, but because it would be a Final packing more firepower than any since at least 2013, probably 2010, and maybe even longer than that.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 2 Day 8: Once It Cools…

By Sam Fels 1405 0

It felt like we got back to what we’re used to seeing in playoff hockey after the mainlining Special K that the first few games were. And that’s fine, as coaches aren’t here to entertain. Maybe we’ll get back there, maybe we won’t, but we won’t be short on drama at least. But man did I miss the high.

Capitals 1 – Penguins 3 (Tied 2-2)

The theme coming out of this one seemed to be the Capitals thought they missed a chance to really take a hold of this series, Capitals history being littered with excellence after going up 3-1 of course, but I don’t have any idea where that came from. Matt Murray didn’t have to work all that hard to keep them to one goal, as Ovechkin and Oshie–presumably their two biggest scorers–didn’t come up with a shot at even-strength all night. Oshie at least bagged one on the power play, but Ovie and Kuznetsov got Sid and Guentzel in their face on every shift and were left with tire tracks on their intestines. I don’t buy into the Ovechkin as playoff failure narrative that everyone is so eager to trot out (there are dozens of other reasons the Caps have never managed eight playoff wins) but after a fine Game 3 it was pretty damn clear why Sid has the hardware last night, both from his performance and his teammates. Again, I don’t always go for this kind of thing but this heatmap seems pretty telling of the events last night in The Burgh:

That’s a pretty easy night for Murray. Heading back to DC either Trotz is going to have to put Backstrom back with Ovechkin or get Ovie and Kuznetsov out against someone else for the majority of the game.
Caps fans will bitch that the league is out to get them, ignoring the fact that Wilson probably should have been suspended longer for repeated offenses, in a world that made sense Oshie might be looking at one for his Fosbury flop attempt into Kris Letang’s head that was only five seconds late, and they got the Gift Of Parallax (my favorite Jethro Tull song) in Game 2. They’ve been on the margins for both of their wins, and will have to find a gear this organization has never found to get out of this one alive. I’m here for however this goes.
Predators 2 – Jets 1 (Tied 2-2)
Goddamn you, Peter Laviolette.
Realizing that playing at the most ridiculous pace anyone’s seen was not going to benefit his forwards who were outgunned by the Jets, Lavvy went all NHL-coachy last night and man did it work a treat. As McClure discovered yesterday, the first three games of this series were averaging 129 attempts for 60 minutes of even-strength play. For comparison’s sake, the Kings-Hawks tilt-a-whirl of ’14 averaged 114 in Games 5-7 when that one went plaid. So yeah, we might not have seen anything like that before.
Well, the Preds weren’t having it last night. They kept their third forward especially high in the offensive zone, and every time the Jets looked up there were three Preds back, and they were contained between them and two hard-back-checking forwards. This is a problem the Jets have, as the only thing close they have to a trap-buster on defense is Byfuglien and he’d have to care more to really be one. It’s not really Trouba’s game and though Tyler Myers is under the impression it’s his that is most certainly not the case. That leaves the forwards to do it but then there really isn’t anyone to get in on loose pucks chipped into the Preds’ zone and the Preds also have the fleetest defense to win those races anyway.
It was not an especially good night for Paul Maurice. Again, if I squint I can see why Buff by far was the busiest d-man for the Jets, because in theory he’s the only puck-rusher of the bunch. That ignores the fact that when he’s not in the offensive zone he blows. He took the penalty that resulted in the difference on the scoreboard because he’s a dumb and lazy defender, getting completely pantsed by known-magician Matthias Ekholm. Maurice tried to get Buff out against the bottom six of the Preds but even that didn’t work, as he managed a 38% share and was his fat ass was harassed and bothered all night because he didn’t bother to move. Buff is fine if he can outscore all his problems, which he’s mostly done these playoffs. He scored in Games 2 and 3, and that’s enough to ignore that he’s mostly been getting his head stuck in the pencil sharpener for the entirety of the games. When he doesn’t score, it’s impossible to ignore.
Still, this approach from Laviolette made the margins all that smaller, and if it wasn’t for Pekka’s knob (oh lord) then this could have gone sideways on him anyway. The Jets would have had the lead, the building rocking, and it’s a lot harder to stay patient with all that going on. Fascinated to see if they Preds can do this at home in front of their crowd demanding a higher pace. We were also treated to a Ryan Hartman playoff goal, which is going to have the construction worker focus group McD keeps outside his office window in a fine mood.
It also was a shit night for hockey coverage, because scratching Kevin Fiala for Scott Hartnell is a shit decision no matter what your plan is. And Hartnell didn’t do anything all night except yell and smell but because the Preds won, this is hailed as genius. Try it again, Lavvy, I dare you.
Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 2 Opening Weekend: This Is Better

By Sam Fels 1574 0

I think we can all admit without turning in our hockey fan cards that the first round was pretty middling as far as entertainment. And that’s actually fine. When you have a few, clear, really good teams as the NHL does, the first round probably should be underwhelming. The Jets, Preds, and Lightning were always going to bludgeon whoever they saw (which the Preds eventually did). The only long series of intrigue really as the Leafs and Bruins and that was more for the comedy of what we all knew was coming. But this round shaped up to be the true must-see theater, and it really has been.

Jets-Predators goes plaid, and 1-1

It’s with a slight twitch of pain that I say this, because it’s always cool knowing your team played in the best playoff series of the post-lockout era even if it lost it, but this Jets-Preds has every chance of being as good if not eclipsing Hawks-Kings ’14. The pace last night simply was ridiculous, and both of these teams seemingly have accepted they’re going to give up chances to get their own. Last night was an example of how the Jets defense might be the first to crack, as on Arvidsson’s goal Chiarot got caught wandering and the Preds have the forward depth to make that a problem, and then for the winner a clearly still rusty Toby Enstrom got caught on a pinch and Byfuglien played the ensuing 2-on-1 like the dog that he is in his own zone. He was awful from the 3rd period on and it’s a small miracle he didn’t help create the winner for the Preds before that.

Encouragingly for the Jets though, it was the top line that basically had to do everything for Nashville as Winnipeg rolled over the rest. Not encouragingly is that Peter Laviolette was happy to let the top lines go at each other and Scheiele did not come out ahead, but also he kept throwing Byfuglien out behind them. Maybe Paul Maurice thinks his top line is enough protection for Buff and Enstrom, but it most certainly was not last night. Look for Trouba and Morrissey to be the ones getting the assignment in Winnipeg. And for this series only to get faster and more frantic, which is great for all of us.

Sharks and Knights split with 2OT as well

Clearly the Sharks weren’t ready for Vegas in Game 1 and everything that could have gone wrong did. They were hellbent on slowing the game agains the Knights in Game 2 and it mostly worked. You get in trouble with Vegas when you let them get behind you in the neutral zone or hit the line with speed with or without the puck and harass your d-men. The Sharks made sure their d-men backed up at the first sign of trouble, basically put three across their own line so even when the Knights dumped it in they couldn’t come over the hill like starving Scotsmen painted blue on the forecheck. It requires you basically bury a good percentage of your good chances because you won’t get as many as normal, but the Sharks did. Interesting to see if they can do this at home with a more expectant home crowd. Then again, Fleury can’t keep this up, can he?

Pens Caps Is Pens Caps

I’ll admit I basically thought that once the Caps coughed up a two-goal lead in the time it takes to take a shit in Game 1 at home that this series is basically over. And it may still yet prove that way. Of course, this being the NHL, we can’t talk about how it’s been really entertaining and both Ovechkin and Crosby are giving this series the battling star-power the league has been dying for because it’s overshadowed by either the league’s incompetence or stupid shit like Tom Wilson braining Brian Dumoulin.

Do I know it was a goal? No, I don’t but you can’t tell me the call was confirmed when there was no call. The refs just blew the play dead and then high-tailed it for the headphones. And I get that different angles can skew things, but we can pretty much conclude that thing was over the line. As for Wilson, he’s lost any benefit of the doubt and the league would do well to try and cap any future stupidness from him by sitting him again. But they won’t, and it’s not like it would work from a real life Venom anyway.

Bs kneecap Bolts

This was a surprise, but sometimes the team that’s sat around for a while just isn’t as sharp as the one that played two nights ago and this is what that looked like. Also, why is Brayden Point and Anton Stralman your choice to deal with the best line in hockey? If you have any hope of beating the Bruins you have to keep Pastrnak-Bergeron-Marchand on a leash and you’re not doing that with Brayden Fucking Point, whatever his season was. And Stralman might be dead, and if he isn’t he’s definitely on a lot of tubes. The Bolts might have the second best line in hockey so they should be fighting fire with fire and if Victor Hedman is a Norris candidate then he should be out there trying to keep Bergeron’s line in their own end. Ryan McDonagh is fine but he’s a second pairing guy now. Then again, if they’re going to insist on pairing Dan Girardi with Hedman maybe that’s the problem. They’re going to have to figure out something, because letting that line go off or multiple goals is a great way to assure you’re going to enjoy the Florida sunshine full-time right quick. Ha, just kidding, no one enjoys Tampa.

Everything Else

Watching The Party – FFUD’s 2nd Round Preview: Winnipeg vs. Nashville or How S**T Kicker Can We Get?

By Sam Fels 1510 0

 vs. 

SCHEDULE: Game 1 Friday, Game 2 Sunday, Game 3 Tuesday, Game 4 May 4th

While Boston-Tampa will take most of the attention by merely being on the East Coast and everything Boston must be covered at all times otherwise Bill Simmons urinates on most of LA, this is the series that will hold the most entertainment value. These are certainly the two best teams in the West, and two of the four best in the NHL. Both are simply stacked at forward so goals should be prevalent. This one is going to be a coke-binge and catch as much as you can.

Goalies: Connor Hellebuyck didn’t really have to do much in the first round than maintain requisite oxygen intake in the first round, because the Minnesota Wild were barely there. But that’s probably a perfect way to wet your feet into playoff hockey, and he’s going to have to be much better this series. It did not go well for Hellebuyck in the regular season against the Preds, as he gave up 19 goals in five starts against them. That doesn’t really matter here, but you’d have to be the most cockeyed, Jets optimist with a fair amount of glue to huff to think that Hellebuyck is going to completely stonewall the Preds. How he reacts to his first playoff adversity is anyone’s guess.

It would be totally on course for the Pekka Rinne Ride to be pretty mediocre last regular season to a playoff marvel and then switch it this year to a Vezina-worthy season this year to turning into a Jalopi in the playoffs this year. He was very not good against the Avalanche, and they only have one line, which is daunting considering the Jets have four. Maybe he was playing down to the competition, maybe the whole team was. But a .909 against the Jets is going to see the Preds go home and probably rather quickly. He’s going to have to be better.

Defense: Again, it’s hard to learn much from the first round about the Jets’ defense when they were playing a bubble hockey opponent. The Jets look like they’ll get a boost back here with Toby Enstrom returning for this series, and he’ll be the one who holds the leash on Dustin Byfuglien. Trouba and Morrissey were excellent against the Wild, and punting Tyler Myers down to a third-pairing bum-slayer role is exactly what he was cut out for. You worry about what the Preds might do when Byfuglien goes out walkin’ after midnight searching for a McGriddle, but the rest of this outfit is pretty solid.

What it isn’t is as dynamic as the Preds’ blue line, though maybe as deep. They conspired to give up a ton of chances to the Avalanche, figuring they’d win a track meet with their depth. That’s what this blue line does, with Subban, Ellis, Josi, and Ekholm all willing and able to get up and down the entire surface. They know no other way, but leaving gaps against this Jets team is a different story than doing so against the Avs. Still, overall, possession-wise, the Preds kicked around Colorado, especially the pairing of Subban and Ekholm. Rougher ride here.

Forwards: The Jets depth is truly scary, and just about everyone chipped in during the first round. What we’re most looking forward to is if either coach settles for fighting fire with fire and has Scheifele match up with Johansen, because we’re fairly sure he’ll inhale Treat Boy. Johansen won’t find much more shelter with either Little or Stastny either. The Jets didn’t lose a step when Ehlers had to miss a game, but he’ll be back for Game 1. The best forward grouping in the league.

The Predators are hardly thin, but don’t boast quite the weapons on their bottom-six as the Jets do. And Forsberg isn’t going to get to go traipsing through three guys whenever he wants like he did against the rotted scarecrows of the Avalanche. If the Jets keep the top line of the Preds somewhat quiet, you then wonder if the Preds can come up with enough goals to run with them. Turris didn’t really do anything against the Avs, and this is much deeper water here and you feel like he comes out barely even or worse against either Little or Stastny. And Mike Fisher is not keeping up with this crew.

Prediction: Been waiting for this one for a while. The Preds have become everyone’s darling while ignoring what their flaws are. It’s a great blue line, but the Jets advantage at forward is just a touch bigger than the one the Preds have on defense. The goalies could be a wash, though you could see either melting down. With how many goals they’re likely to share, just about anything could happen. But if we expect, and Scheifele and Wheeler outplay Treat Boy and Forsberg, the Jets take this. But it’s going to be a ton of fun getting there. Jets in 7. 

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 10: An Ice Water Fountain of Urine

By John Pullega 2160 0

The two teams that were supposed to win won, in mostly convincing fashion. Let’s do a quick clean up.

Penguins 8 – Flyera 5 (Penguins win series 4–2)

Only in Philadelphia can a game that had two hat tricks—one being the four-goal variety and the other coming from a guy with a frayed MLC—be overshadowed by, well, anything. But to no one’s surprise, the Flyera faithful became the old sports cliché of leaving a piece of yourself on the ice, pelting players with trash, and half-full cans of Yuengling and whatever other canal runoff they drink. Hilariously, the complete toddler meltdown that is fandom in Philly led to Pittsburgh’s final empty netter, as a rogue towel in front of Provorov led him to turn the puck over to Brandon Rust for the final dagger.

Guentzal’s four consecutive goals and Couturier’s hat trick despite his torn MCL were the undercard on the night. Pittsburgh will probably get extended time to wash the garbage out of their hair, because you know the Caps/BJs series is going to seven.

Predators 5 – Avalanche 0 (Predators win series 4–2)

Not the way you want to go out at home, but there probably wasn’t a bigger mismatch in all of the playoffs than this series. But when it really mattered, Nashville got up and Dammit Doll’d the Avs. There may have been whispers about Nashville not having “it” against the Avs in this series, but last night’s drubbing ought to put that to rest.

There really isn’t much to say about a 5–0 shutout. Shit Hip continues to defy his age, and the Bonino–Sissons–Watson line continues to impress in the playoffs. Whether we like it or not, Nashville can be an overpowering team when it needs to be, which will make the matchup with Winnipeg probably some of the best hockey we’ll see in the playoffs.

With the way things have gone in the NHL this year, the Preds and Jets will mash each other to a pulp, then the winner will have to play a well-rested Knights, fresh off a sweep against the Sharks, because fuck you. Then the Knights will find themselves as an expansion team in the Stanley Cup while the rest of us drink hemlock and/or eat Arby’s.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 8: California Is Burning

By Sam Fels 1764 0

Let’s all shed a tear for SoCal hockey. Because they love being called “SoCal.” Anyway, now that that’s over…

Penguins 5 – Flyers 0 (PIT leads 3-1)

Only in hockey would it basically go under the radar that the Flyers rock-person defenseman Radko Gudas…

Injured their #1 center in practice! Sure, they’re all calling it an accident but there was video of it and it sure didn’t look all that accidental. Gudas, who thinks toothpaste comes out of the tube via magic, who can’t do anything but put other players in danger, kneecapped his own team’s chances in practice! We’re talkin’ bout practice! Imagine if like…fuck I don’t even know what to compare it to…Tristan Thompson tripping LeBron James? Ok, Sean Couturier isn’t LeBron on ice or anything close.

The point is that in Philly, this is just the price of doing business. Flyers fans don’t seem to care, because they either think their players are supposed to do Medieval Times for real in practice or that the Flyers are just such a ridiculous entity that of course their d-man who sets the sport back a decade is going to injure their #1 center because FLYERA. What a team. What a city. Maybe they’re still drunk from the Iggles (maybe?!).

Anyway, the Flyers are done and the Penguins are more fun anyway.

Lightning 3 – Devils 1 (TB Diddler’s lead 3-1)

This series is still taking place in the dark, but if you missed it they did try and kill each other last night. Nikita Kucherov probably should get whacked for a game for his hit on Sami Vatanen, which if you missed, and the Devils spent the rest of the night trying to exact a pound of flesh. Which really isn’t their strength. And the Lightning just skipped off with the space. This will end soon, which is fine because the Devils aren’t supposed to really be here in the arc of their development anyway. At least Taylor Hall got the spotlight.

Predators 3 – Avalanche 2 (NSH leads 3-1)

Just outclassed. Filip Forsberg can probably do this himself, even if it never feels like the Preds have hit anywhere near top gear. They did enough in the first two periods to demonstrate what a mismatch this is, considering what the Avs are and what they’re missing. The Avs did mount a furious comeback but when you’re there that’s rarely going to work. Let’s get to what we’ve all been waiting for.

Ducks 1 – Sharks 2 (Sharks sweep)

I’ll have more on this in the Ducks eulogy later today, but safe to say no one’s going to miss the Ducks. Even the Ducks. The Sharks are just an efficient team built to win a round or two but then job for one of the powers out of the Central. Then again, you can see them giving the Preds or Jets a real problem simply from memory because they’ve done this so much. It’s a very good blue line that’s fully healthy, Jones is playing really well, and if Thornton returns and THEY KEEP PAVELSKI AT CENTER WHAT’S SO HARD ABOUT THIS then they’ve got real depth. It feels like it’s very Sharks-depth though, where it’s just enough to break their fans’ hearts again. But that’s their way.

Everything Else

Watching The Party – FFUD’s First Round Preview: Avalanche vs. Predators or There Can Be Only One

By Sam Fels 1783 0

 vs. 

SCHEDULE: Game 1 Thursday, Game 2 Saturday, Game 3 Monday, Game 4 April 18th

There’s been so much hype and yapping coming out of Nashville that they’ve gone from a team and fanbase I generally had no problem to one I’d be happy to see eat it and as soon as possible. Sadly, a one-man team is almost certainly not going to be able to pull off the job, and that’ll give us the Jets-Predators series we all want to watch anyway. Still, it could get trickier than it needs to be for the Preds.

Goalies: The Avs are going to have to resort to their backup, though they have one of the better backups in the league. Semyon Varlamov hurt a tentacle and is done for the year, so it’ll be up to Jonathan Bernier. Bernier was about league average this year, which for your #2 is exactly what you’d want. Since taking over the past few games he’s barely been ok, though he shut down the Blues enough in the last game of the season. Still, he wasn’t very good against the Sharks, Ducks, or Kings, three playoff teams. And the Avs really needed those wins. So that’s a problem.

The Predators have no such problems. Thanks to Vasilevskiy’s fall-off this year, there’s not much doubt that Pekka Rinne is going to win the Vezina this year. There’s no way around a .927 this year, and that’s what Rinne put up. Rinne had been an underwhelming playoff performer until last season, where he put up a .930. Most goalies don’t figure out something at 35. Clearly Rinne has. This matchup alone is probably enough for the Preds to get through, and easily .

Defense: Let’s face it, the Avs roll into the playoffs with probably the worst blue line of any playoff team. Patrik Nemeth and Deputy Samuel Girard are on the top pairing. Tyson Barrie is about the only experience they have at anything with plodding Nikita Zadorov. It’s a real issue. And considering the speed the Preds have, they’re going to get buried. Which means Bernier is going to have to bail them out, and he’s not really equipped to do that.

The Preds blue line… you don’t need me to tell you. It’s the best of the teams left. There are at least three top pairing guys here, and you could make a case for Ekholm if you want. And if they keep Alexei Emelin on the third pairing where he belongs, they will have these four guys on the ice for 45-50 minutes of each game. That’s enough.

Forwards: The only thing you can say for the Avs is that they’ll have the best player in this series. Nathan MacKinnon is your Hart Trophy winner, unless every voter had an embolism while voting (which they did). The Avs only hope is he goes nuclear, and even that might not be enough. Past his line, there’s just nothing. Tyson Jost and Alex Kerfoot have nice futures ahead of them but they’ve got a long way to go. Carl Soderberg do anything for you?

Meanwhile, the Preds are deep and fast. Even if Ryan Johansen is a dough-filled dog now that he got paid (and he is), and even if MacKinnon eats him alive and spits him back out to eat him again (he will), the Avs aren’t going to have an answer for Kyle Turris’s line or Nick Bonino as a #3, which he won the past two Cups as. Johansen might be a problem in future rounds, but it really won’t matter here.

Prediction: You just can’t find a path for the Avs, other than HOCKEY. MacKinnon could steal them a game, maybe even two, but you wouldn’t count on it given all the Preds have. Let’s get to the main event here. Preds in 5.