Calgary Flames – Page 5 – Faxes from Uncle Dale

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Game #53 – Flames vs. Hawks Q&A: Mike Pfeil of HockeyGraphs And The Underworld

By Sam Fels February 6, 2018 2622 0

Mike Pfeil is a stats-y guy at Hockeygraphs.com. He’s also a weirdo. So he’s our type of guy. Follow him @MikeFAIL. These were the questions we put to Floob on Saturday, and now Mike gets his chance.

Last time we saw the Flames on New Year’s Eve, they were just hovering around the last playoff spot, not meeting expectations, and still waiting to take off. A month later, they’re hovering around the last playoff spot, kind of not meeting expectations, and waiting to take off. Why hasn’t it come to a boil in Calgary?

The power play for starters, something that has approached near-catastrophically disappointing levels. On one hand, you still Dave Cameron, who hasn’t been encased in concrete and tossed in the Bow River. On the other hand you have Glen “Glenny G” Gulutzan being seemingly cognizant to the folly in front of him yet not solving. There’s enough talent at forward to not play Troy Brouwer on PP yet he does it again.

Also there’s the part where they’re chokers. Some would say that’s “mental fragility” and “they don’t know how to hold a lead.” I say they’re the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Do we know if Glengarry Glen Gulutzan falls into the “Moron” category or “Not A Moron” category yet?

He’s a slightly-slightly-above average coach at 5v5. Most coaches and the impacting of coaching is indiscernible from others. If you look at their 5v5 systems (last year, specifically) it was an easy observation to say “Yeah, he’s definitely better than Bob Hartley.” This year it’s weird and I think part of it comes from fan expectations, often bordering on unrealistic; some systemic changes that have hurt them, specifically in relation to how they struggle at shot suppression relative to last year; and some bets on players that haven’t worked like Michael Stone, Travis Hamonic, Brouwer (continued usage), Sam Bennett, and sub-optimal depth.

At least there’s Dougie Hamilton, right?

I fucking love that man. Well, minus the chud-ass Barstool shit he said a few weeks ago. Shout out to everyone who hates that fuck heap website. Play him at 5v4 more than any other defenseman and maybe things will improve. Seriously.

The Flames don’t seem to be in a position to just punt on the season given their development curve, so what might they do at the deadline? And are you afraid it’ll be stupid?

Going after Mike Hoffman or an actual top six RW scoring threat would be nice. Rick Nash would be neat on retained salary providing his acquisition cost isn’t absurd, but it’s doubtful. Maybe you can fleece Ken Holland, who might be struggling to realize what year it is and pry out a Tomas Tatar or Gustav Nyqvist for cheaper than expected? All that said I’m as afraid as others, but I’m emotionally checked out… providing they don’t acquire Zack Smith. Don’t do it.

Given that the Kings actually suck and the Ducks are weird, the Flames really should still get into the Pacific’s three playoff spots, right?

Yes, undoubtedly, providing they don’t continue shitting the bed. They’re going to shit the bed aren’t they, Sam?

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Game #53 – Flames vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: Still An Airhorn With Stupid Hair

By Sam Fels February 6, 2018 3090 0

This is the last chance, barring a very unlikely playoff meeting, we’ll get this year to once again rail against the “reputation” of Brian Burke. We don’t know if Burke has a lot of pull in the Flames organization anymore, or if he’s just there to make the press feel special and manly or whatever the fuck he claims to do.

Whatever it is, he got there on a wave of bullshit.

Burke’s rep is basically built on being bellicose all the time, and making old, stuffy hockey writers achieve half-tumescence for the first time in years because he talks about things like grit and fight and heart and everything that makes the same noise you do after a bathtub of chili. Burke threatens to fight other GMs of course and always talks a tough game, which leads you to believe if he was ever actually confronted he’d empty his bladder into his shorts.

Burke’s acumen is wildly overstated. While he drafted the Sedins and Ryan Kesler and traded for Roberto Luongo, the Canucks never made a conference final while he was steering that ship. And he traded for Todd Bertuzzi, which tells you just about everything you need to know.

His Cup win in Anaheim is bullshit, too. That team was already constructed when he got there, and all he had to do was take someone else’s assets and get a want-away Chris Pronger out of Edmonton. Real hard job, there. Remember, the Ducks had been in the Final just three seasons before.

And of course, he did exactly nothing with Toronto who didn’t get good until they turfed him but good. The only Burke picks that matter on the Leafs right now are Nazem Kadri and Morgan Rielly.

And let’s not even get to all the ways Burke has fist-fucked over Team USA in Russia and in the World Cup, making his 2010 squad clearly a goof when he was too drunk to pick his normal team.

All Burke basically is Bob Pulford with an ability to string more than four words together. And dumber hair. The Flames would be better off with him locked in the same room that the Hawks deposited Pully that he can’t escape.

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Game #52 – Hawks at Flames Preview/Immersion Therapy: Shadows In The Flames

By Sam Fels February 3, 2018 2797 0

vs.

RECORDS: Hawks 24-20-7 Flames 25-18-8

PUCK DROP: 9pm

TV: NBCSN Chicago here, Sportsnet up there

FRIENDS OF CAL AND GARY: Flamesnation.ca

It can get exhausting living this way. After most losses you pronounce the season over, only to build yourself back up by the next game to say the turnaround has to start RIGHT NOW, even though that’s what you said before the last game. The constant push and pull gets deeper every time, and no matter which side you’re on that day THIS TIME YOU MEAN IT. So it is with that in mind that we say once again, the Hawks have to start their attack run RIGHT NOW, especially considering the next four points on offer are four points they could deny a direct competitor in the Calgary Flames. They’re going to have to climb over teams, and they get to face Calgary, Anaheim, and Minnesota in the next two weeks. Biff it, and then we’ll know it’s all over but the shouting and we can get on to dreams of Yoan Moncada and a Kyle Schwarber renaissance.

And this might be a good time to catch the Flames, who appear to be a real mess. On the same night the Hawks were letting out a beer belch in Vancouver, the Flames were spectacularly blowing a 4-2 lead to the Lightning at home to lose 7-4. That probably doesn’t do it justice, either. Mike Smith gave up four goals in eight 3rd period minutes to blow that lead, and it was a singular meltdown. You probably saw the GIF of him breaking his stick against the post before being pulled, though we’ll excuse you if you can’t tell it apart from the dozens of other GIFs of Mike Smith going apeshit toddler on his posts and stick.

It broke a hot streak for Smith, who before that had only surrendered 14 goals in his last eight starts. Overall he’s been really good with a .922 SV% and a .943 SV% in January. And yet the Flames haven’t been able to get going fully, other than a seven-game winning streak which they counteracted by failing to win any of the six after that (four losses in OT or SO).

If Smith isn’t the problem, the offense is. Before the outburst against Tampa, they’d managed eight goals in five games. And Edmonton, LA, and Buffalo were part of that slate and you’re supposed to get goals against them currently. Basically if Johnny Gaudreau’s line doesn’t score, the Flames won’t. Michael Frolik has returned to reassemble the 3M line and give them something of a second option, and they’re slowly trying to fortify the bottom six with a couple kids like Mark Jankowski and Andrew Mangiapane. Also, Kris Versteeg looks like he might make it back before the season ends, but if you’re in a place where you need Kris Versteeg you’re probably in a place that has no running water.

The Flames aren’t clean on defense either. Mark Giordano and Dougie Hamilton have been just about the best pairing in the West all year. But below that, T.J. Brodie and Travis Hamonic are in a competition to see which can turn the other more into unidentifiable ooze all season. Michael Stone lives below that and that’s definitely a place that doesn’t have running water. And for some reason Glen Gulutzan won’t play Dougie enough to make a difference. Strange days, indeed.

Stop us if you’ve heard this before, but the Flames’ power play is also holding them back, and unlike the Hawks it has a couple natural QBs to run it. Their penalty killing hasn’t been as good either, and in this league special teams can make a huge difference. They won’t find much sympathy here, of course.

Now to the Hawks. There’s been yet another reshuffle, and it appears that Q’s patience with Brandon Saad has come to an end. Toews’s line remains the same (does anybody remember laughter?). Artem Anisimov moves back in between Schmaltz and Kane. On the surface this is a little frustrating, but then you remember that Wide Dick Arty is pretty much useless unless he’s playing with Kane and you have to maximize what you have. Saad is going to play with Wingels and Hartman as Q wants to keep Jurco-Kampf-Vinnie Smalls together, and with good cause. What a Saad-Wingels-Hartman line does is anyone’s guess, as we’ve said about the third line all season. What it might do is force Saad to start creating his own chances, which is in his holster but we don’t see very often. Or he can continue to drift aimlessly through games. He’s now gotten called out in the press by his coach, which is usually the last card Q wants to play. Now or never, bud.

It’s Judgement Day for the Hawks over the next couple weeks, as nonsensical as that sentence actually is. They face a bunch of teams around them. They could actually gain ground. But they’d have to put a streak together for more than three or four games, and that’s been beyond them all season. You turn enough corners, all you’ve done is end up where you were.

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Game #52 – Hawks at Flames Spotlight: Not All D-Men Die At 34

By Sam Fels February 3, 2018 1626 0

That’s probably a little harsh on Duncan Keith, who hasn’t died, just diminished. And he’s carried a lot more playoff and Olympic miles than Mark Giordano. Though really, that’s not Giordano’s fault, because the Flames haven’t been good enough around him and Team Canada likes to huff ether before picking their blue line. And it doesn’t matter given the talent. But you’d be hard-pressed to find a defenseman that’s been any better than Gio the past seven years.

In those seven years, there isn’t a d-man who has a better relative Corsi to his team than Giordano, who checks in at +4.88. That’s better than Karlsson, better than Subban, better than Keith (though in this category Keith is hurt by the Hawks always being a dominant possession team in the past).

When it comes to relative expected goals percentage the past seven years, Giordano is second to Jared Spurgeon. Again, the Flames have had some pretty bad teams in that stretch, but only Spurgeon has stuck his head farther above the water level that his team established.

Giordano is having something of a renaissance season, though he was never as bad in recent years as some would have had you believe. Gio is rocking his highest CF% of his career a 57.3%. His expected goals percentage of the same mark is also the highest of his career. Gio has benefitted from getting more offensive zone starts than before, though that’s somewhat attributable to the Flames being a better possession team than before. And some of it is being partnered with Dougie Hamilton all year, forming perhaps the best pairing in the West.

All of this leads to whether or not Giordano will be a a Norris finalist. If he didn’t win for his tour-de-force 2013-2014 seasons he’s probably never going to. We’ve cataloged who should win but won’t, and he’s on that list. Generally how voters tend to do this, John Klingberg will get it even though Giordano whomps him in all the categories that matter other than scoring. Subban will also get those votes.

When he first signed his seven-year extension that kicked in last year that pays him $6.7 million per year, it was derided as Seabrook-like. The Flames have already gotten more value out of this one than the Hawks did. And you wouldn’t expect Gio to fall off the Earth next year. Yeah, the last two years might be ugly, but that will be post-lockout and who knows what the rules will be. Especially if Hamilton is riding shotgun for a while.

Going back to the Norris discussion, this will be a test again of how we evaluate the award. What else can you ask of a d-man than to keep the play out of his own zone and get it up the ice? Only Subban is scoring a ton of goals himself. Can others be blamed if their forwards don’t convert their passes at the same rate? No one’s doing it better than Gio this year. How many votes will he get?

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Game #52 – Hawks at Flames Douchebag Du Jour: Guess Troy Should Just Go Eat Worms

By Sam Fels February 3, 2018 1839 0

If you’re around a Flames fan and you mention the words, “Troy Brouwer,” you’d better have a spittoon handy. This is reason #123 to not have a Flames fan in your house, or be in their presence really. And you should probably always have a spittoon with them around. Or at least a plastic cup.

To be fair, putting up 16 goals in the past two seasons when he’d been around a 20-goal scorer for the previous seven seasons straight is probably infuriating. The thing about Brouwer is that he’s kind of been hated wherever he’s been.

Hawks fans didn’t like him because he was perceived to not play to his size. Even though he had 22 goals for a Cup team and scored twice in Game 1 of the ’10 Final, which just happened to be the Hawks first win in that round in 39 years. Caps fans didn’t care for him as he didn’t bring championship glow with him, as if it was his fault that Bruce Boudreau, Adam Oates, and Dale Hunter lacked oxygen to the brain. Blues fans hated him for not being T.J. Oshie, even though he scored the only goal they’ll remember for years against the Hawks (even if it took him three attempts at an empty net, in perhaps the most Troy Brouwer moment ever).

Until now, Brouwer was a perfectly fine 2nd or 3rd line winger. He just flashed at being more just enough to frustrate you. This was a guy who earned his role on a line with Marian Hossa and Patrick Sharp on a Cup-winner. But he couldn’t stay there. He’s now 32, and players his size don’t tend to age well. Especially ones that weren’t all that quick to begin with.

But that won’t stop Flames fans from bitching about his contract, and you know how we feel about bitching about contracts. Brouwer certainly didn’t force the Flames to hand him that deal. Yes, Brouwer has been terrible. He has some of the worst relative marks on the team. And he’s got two years to go on his deal. He’s an excellent buyout candidate, that is if the Flames hadn’t used all their slots already (and Lance Bouma is one).

But he should have more esteem around here. If Scott Podsednik and Geoff Blum have hallowed names in this town…

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And Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Ass…

By Sam Fels January 12, 2018 2250 0

Been meaning to get to this for a few days, because no doubt those of you who’ve been with us for a while probably guessed we took unique glee when the news broke the Jaromir Jagr decided living and playing in Canada was too hard for his aged, check-cashing ass and is going to take his ball and go home. Or more to the point back to Europe where he can continue to rack up points no one gives a shit about and earn a paycheck to pay off whatever kind of debt he assuredly owes to Russian mobsters from his time at Omsk. And remember, it was his time in Omsk during the lockout with Roman Abramovich that apparently “inspired” him to play hard in the NHL again, not the millions he was being paid by NHL teams or the teammates that looked to him to make a play when they had to have it that he hasn’t made since the fucking 90s.

Let’s be clear: Jagr will slink out of this league having scored one playoff goal in 39 playoff games. And before you get all, “Yeah but he scored in the regular season and he’s old!” just stop yourself. This is a sport and a league that has always valued, overvalued more likely, what a player does in the playoffs than what they do in the regular season. If Roberto Luongo’s first-ballot Hall of Fame career is in any way tarnished because of his playoff failures–and Luongo had a lot more to do with the Canucks getting to where they did than Jagr has had on any team since probably 200-fucking-1, then Jagr shouldn’t escape either. And I could sub in the Sedins, or even Hossa as some use his playoff scoring record against him despite him being basically one-and-a-half-Jagrs.

Because what would have one more goal meant to the Bruins in 2013 in Game 1, or Game 4, or Game 5, or Game 6? It would have mean the series flipping completely, except he couldn’t be bothered to try until the B’s were on a two-man advantage. Fuck that noise right in the ear. He never intended to go on a deep playoff run and would have been far happier had the Bruins ate it in that Game 7 against the Leafs as they probably should have. The only person not dressed in blue upset about the Leafs collapse in that 3rd period was Jagr and you can fucking book it.

Remember this was the same guy who torpedoed the entire Capitals organization because on most nights he didn’t feel like it. And after his return to Philly after ditching the Rangers, who made him captain by the way, so he could sit in a hot tub with Abramovich for three years, look where he chose to play. Dallas when they sucked, New Jersey when they sucked, and then Florida. Three places where no one bothered to watch and he could just rack up his points that didn’t fucking matter and checks in anonymity. And when the Panthers were playing games that mattered? NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. Two assists in six games, highlighted by letting Thomas Hickey simply waltz down the middle of the ice while Jagr shit himself near the blue line for an OT winner in Game 3. What would have happened if the Panthers went up 2-1 in that game? They probably win the series, their first series win since 1996 and what a difference that could have made.

So for the first time in forever he signs in a market that actually pays attention and cares with a team that had real aspirations, and he snuffs it. “Oh wah, the coach isn’t playing me on the top six!” Never mind he actually doesn’t deserve to be in the least so shockingly everything hurts now. How can that be, because the hockey media couldn’t wait to tell me for five years or more now just what a workout fiend he is and how he could play until he’s 50 if he wanted to! Once again, hockey media is shocked by any player that actually gets in a gym.

So he’s fucking off, and his soulless pursuit of points and games played and most importantly a check will go back to Russia or even his homeland. Maybe he’ll even play in the Olympics where hockey media can get even more weepy about him beating up on some campers who got lost in the Canadian Rockies and the Hockey Canada just tossed a jersey on them and sent them to South Korea. Then again, the last couple times we saw him in the Olympics Alex Ovechkin was either rocking his ass to sleep or the Czechs were going absolutely nowhere.

Good riddance.

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Game #38 – Hawks vs. Flames Preview/Seaweed Facial: Goodbye ’17, You Know What I Mean

By Sam Fels December 31, 2017 2257 0

vs.

RECORDS: Hawks 18-14-5 Flames 18-16-4

PUCK DROP: 8pm

TV: WGN

FRIENDS OF CAL AND GARY: Flames Nation

The Hawks will close out 2017 in southern Alberta, because honestly where would you rather be, and for the most part 2017 has been a year the Hawks and their fans won’t shed any tears over. It started back with some brilliant hockey in the middle of last season, but ended with a humbling, if not downright humiliating, playoff defeat and a stop-start half season to this one. Things have to get better when the calendar turns, that’s for sure.

What they’ll find is a Flames team that is just about as weird and stop-start as they have been. Before the season, looking at the Flames top four and at least their top two lines, you thought if Mike Smith could at least be competent (a big ask) they should challenge for the top of the Pacific. And the thing is, Mike Smith has mostly been competent. His backups have been anything but, but Smith has been ok. And yet the Flames still find themselves complaining that the goggles do nothing.

It’s been more than one problem for them. For one, that top four hasn’t been THE TOP FOUR you would have expected, at least not until of late. Mark Giordano and Dougie Hamilton (a grown man named “Dougie”) have been beyond excellent, but for the first two months T.J. Brodie and newly-acquired Travis Hamonic couldn’t find the A-button on a Nintendo controller. They’ve somewhat regulated of late, but it hasn’t been the bread and roses Flames fans hoped for.

Secondly, the Flames have been especially agoraphobic in front of the net — i.e. terrified of putting the puck in an open space. They can’t score. Both on the power play and at evens, they have some of the lowest shooting percentages in the league. Their underlying numbers are where you want them to be, they should be scoring more, and yet they’re putting it everywhere except where it should go like it was post-prom.

Combine that with Jaromir Jagr being hurt and old and thus unable to give the Flames a representative third line, and you see the problems. He’s moved to replace Michael Frolik on the 3M line now that our beloved Fro’s bottom jaw is currently a jigsaw puzzle. A couple promising kids in Jankowski and Bennett are trying to give the Flames a third option at the moment.

Still, with Gaudreau-Monahan-Ferland and the 3M line that’s more than a lot of teams have. And the Flames are going to have to find another option because Smith’s numbers have declined as the season has gone on. Odd for a goalie who is 35, I know. And we still aren’t really sure if head coach Glen Gulutzan Glenross is a Moron or Not A Moron.

As for the Hawks, the lineup will remain the same as it was on Friday, including Jeff Glass in hs hometown. Again, this is a great story but asking for more than what you’ve already got from him seems an awfully big risk. On another night, with that rebound control, Glass could have given up a touchdown. He might not be so lucky tonight, and Anton Forsberg has not been bad outside of a couple of ugly outings. Vancouver certainly had nothing to do with him, so what are you doing to his confidence? He’s clearly the more important of the two going forward.

But hey, we get more Kempny and we get more of that intriguing third line with the three kids. So let’s not head into the new year bitching that much.

The Flames and Hawks are going to be competing for the same wild card spots, or at least that’s how it looks. So these two points are going to matter when we total it all up in April. After biffing Vancouver hardcore, the Hawks simply can’t here.

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Game #38 – Hawks vs. Flames: Spotlight – Mikael Backlund F**CKS

By Sam Fels December 31, 2017 1861 0

We occasionally like to spend time discussing what the Selke, and Norris, award would really look like if voters didn’t used outdated methods to find their winners. Of course, this is all pie in the sky stuff. Hockey and “evolution” are infrequent dance partners. Perhaps one day we’ll get our King-Felix-wins-Cy-Young-with-13-wins moment, but it seems unlikely.

If it were to happen, Mikael Backlund may be the one who wins it.

For too long, coaches of the Flames were too fixated on what Backlund couldn’t or didn’t do. As a first round pick, he was (perhaps rightly) expected to be a #1 center who scored a ton. It wasn’t Backlund’s fault that until the arrival of Sean Monahan, there really wasn’t anyone else around to do the job. So it was foisted upon him at time, and it didn’t go so well. Backlund’s first six full seasons in the NHL never saw him amass 50 points, as well as deal with some serious injury issues. It looked to be that he was a bust.

It took the arrival of Bob Hartley, himself hardly a genius, and further expounded upon by current coach Glen Gulutzan Glenross to really unlock what Backlund is. And that’s one of the league’s best checking/possession centers.

If you’ve been tuning into hockey for the past couple seasons, you’ve probably heard all about the 3M like of Backlund, Michael Frolik, and Matthew Tkachuk. They have been the biggest human shield line in the league. The Flames routinely send this unit out in its own end and against the toughest competition, and they routinely send the play the other way. Over the past three seasons, Backlund is fifth in the league in his relative Corsi. But of all the other players in the top ten, Backlund and his linemates get by far the worst zone starts, barely getting 40% of their shifts to start in the offensive zone. They have the biggest hills to climb, and they climb farther than just about anyone else.

Backlund has also added a scoring touch he didn’t have before. He put up 53 points last year and is on pace to break 50 again this year, with a bit of hustling.

This is the type of player more GMs should be seeking out, or converting underperforming centers to be. When most hockey minds think of a checking center, it’s some mattress like body that wins a lot of draws, blocks a lot of shots, but essentially is a trench for their team. Yes, they’re hard to pass but they’re also hard to move forward off of. Backlund is in the Marcus Kruger school. And there are others out there who could play this role.

Of course, some of this might be a problem for the Flames in the summer, as Backlund goes UFA. At 28, it’ll be his best chance to cash in long-term, and the Flames aren’t swimming in cap space .They can probably hand him most of Matt Stajan’s money that’s coming off the books and think that’s enough, but do they pay him as the #2-3 center that he is? Or the unicorn that he actually is? It’s a decision that’s going to be generating a lot of debate in Calgary, between cleaning the horseshit out of everyone’s boots.

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Game #38 – Hawks vs. Flames: Q&A With A Drunken Rodeo Clown

By Sam Fels December 31, 2017 2187 0

We don’t know what it is Mike Pfeil does. He claims he works at Hockey-graphs.com but we’re pretty sure that’s a front. We do know he lives in Edmonton, we’re sure we don’t know why, and we’re more sure he doesn’t know why either. Anyway, he’s a Flames guy, further proving just how lost he is as a human. But he found the time to answer our questions, which doesn’t say much for him either.

It’s been a disappointing first half for the Flames. What has been the problem(s)?

Luck, the lack of stolen vaccines from the provincial government, and some roster/usage issues. Hitting post, after post, after post is exhausting; Mike Smith letting in some weirdo goals (that he’s known for) can be tiresome; a lackluster power play at times; a penalty kill that cratered (and made my PK project difficult); and some awful roster management have been factors. All that said I put more stock on the lack of stolen vaccines being provided.

Did moving to Calgary give Travis Hamonic brain worms?

Are we so sure he didn’t get them while he was in Long Island? I’m pretty sure most drinking water in New York state is contaminated given the cretins that exist out there. He’s also from Manitoba originally and that place has lots of mosquitoes so maybe they laid mosquitoes in his brain, too.

He’s getting better though and I think “adjustment” period of playing with a guy like TJ Brodie has been hard. Brodie loves to skate and jump up in the rush while Hamonic prefers more conservative means to being involved. Part of the improvements have come from Gulutzan’s deployment of the pairing (more on-the-fly usage versus actual zone starts) which has helped immensely. Plus you know hockey terms like poise, confidence, composure, tenacity, pugnacity, all the nacities, and his shaft is firm.

Jaromir Jagr, seven points in 19 games. One goal. Can you believe signing someone closer to 50 than 40 hasn’t worked out for the Flames?

Injuries, no training camp, and playing along side Hawk alumni member Troy Brouwer will do a number on your counting stats. Still, I’m worried that a gust will break his hip and we’ll have to send him to the nursing home up north. From a fan perspective – whatever is left of that in me – I want him to succeed, but the cold number-loving analyst has made me question whether or not it’s best to play him every night he is available.

Every time we watch the Flames the broadcast mentions how much they miss Kris Versteeg. That can’t really be true, can it?

It’s tricky because on one hand I love the dude, but it’s a bit of a media-driven narrative. From a locker room/glue guy/intangibles angle yeah he’s missed. The tangible aspect he brings was from a power play perspect; Dave Cameron and Gulutzan used him on the first unit as a zone entry guy and half-wall option in the 1-3-1. He’s nowhere close to where he was last season or even during his prime but he has value even if he’s fast approaching Martin “Pelvic Mesh Imploding” Havlat territory.

Why is Matthew Tkachuk such a shithead? Typical rich kid stuff? Or did Dad teach him “well?”

He’s the equivalent of the Dreaded Laramie from the Clickhole quiz “Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?” He’s out on the ice yelling “Saab demolition” at every opposing player and spray-painting ISIS on their cars. There’s definitely that reputation established, but every team wants someone like him. Tkachuk is really fantastic blend of shit heel antics and legitimate hockey skill — anyone who tells you he’s a passenger on the 3M line is a cop. If he keeps it up and his point production continues to improve he could be a top-end winger in this league.

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