Anaheim Ducks – Page 4 – Faxes from Uncle Dale

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Game #9 – Ducks vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: I Hate Paul Kariya

By Sam Fels October 23, 2018 1778 0

I never said these things had to be rational.

Paul Kariya was a wonderful player. He ended up with over 400 goals and just short of 1000 points in his career. He perhaps played in the wrong era. If he played now, his speed would have been right in line with how the league is going and he would have been better protected from the hits and concussions that derailed his career. His post-playing life has been rough at times, which he’s been open about. He’s a cautionary tale. Certainly, there were few players more devastating when fully healthy and at full dial.

And I couldn’t stand him.

Maybe it was because the Hawks never had a player like him back then. They wouldn’t have seen past his size and ignored his game-breaking speed. Maybe it was because he had Matt Duchene’s face before Matt Duchene. Maybe it was the way he ran from trouble.

Or maybe it was this: When the Blues unveiled those third jerseys back in 2009, they had those tie-strings at the collar. Kariya came on stage with his wrapped in a neat little bow. Now, there’s nothing wrong with tying those strings into a bow. Except that you don’t. No one does. It looks ridiculous. And yet it seemed perfectly in character with Kariya the player.

Maybe it was he was just another annoying winger when the Predators first got good after the lockout and were routinely pummeling the Hawks, with Erat, Sullivan, Hartnell, Arnott, and three or four other ass-rashes. Maybe it was he and Teemu Selanne’s blood-pact that went balls-up in Colorado.

Maybe it’s all of it. Anyway, Kariya had his #9 retired on Sunday night, as he should have in Anaheim. But it was yet another chance for my blood to boil at the sight of that smile, that always-perfect hair, one I saw far too much as is streaked by Eric Fucking Weinrich again.

It doesn’t have to make sense. Fuck Paul Kariya.

Game #9 Preview Suite

Columbus Blue Jackets

Everything Else

You Share The Same Fate As The People You Hate – ’18-’19 Team Previews: Anaheim Ducks

By Sam Fels September 20, 2018 1941 0

They’re just never as bad as you or I want them to be. And they’ll be worse this year, but not bad enough.

While Bob Murray certainly had a hand in torching the Hawks on the ice in the late-90s, his work for the most part in Anaheim has been all right. Their depth has eroded, which happens to most teams, but they seem to keep producing youngsters who can at least step in and not have their brain drip out their ear. Corey Perry is now dead to match his stink, and Ryan Getzlaf will probably be an even bigger passenger than he was before if that’s even possible. Ryan Kesler may not even play, and that may not even be a bad thing.

And most of all, they play in a division that’s a car crash after the Sharks and maybe the Knights (let’s not just put their name in ink just yet until we see if Marc-Andre Fleury tosses up a .907 first). In any other division in hockey they’d struggle to make the playoffs. In this one, simply through Josh Gibson and their defense they probably don’t even have to worry about a wildcard spot, unless the Flames or Oilers get a wild hair on their ass. Let’s run it.

20187-2018: 44-25-13 101 points 235 GF 216 GA 48.6 CF% 48.4 xGF% 8.1 SH% .933 SV%

Goalies: Not only did the Ducks get John Gibson‘s best season, they got one of the better backup seasons in the league from Ryan “They Keep Calling Me” Miller. Gibson threw a .926 at the league and Miller supported that with a .928, which came in handy in 28 appearances. The Ducks get to run that back again this season.

That marked the third-straight season that Gibson was over .920 and second-straight over .927 at evens. As he’s only 25 and entering what you would think his peak would be, this is probably the norm and any team that can sport a .925 goalie every night is going to find it hard to be bad. Which is annoying because everyone, including everyone in Anaheim who would clearly like to be doing anything else but can’t because it’s fucking Orange County, would be happier if the Ducks were irrelevant.

If there’s one thing Gibson is going to have to overcome is an incomplete-at-best playoff resume, as he was silly putty against the Sharks last year and not much better against the Predators or Oilers the year before that. But the Ducks were so overmatched and outplayed by the Sharks I don’t think it matters anyway.

At 38, Miller has found a home as a backup, and the Ducks are one of the few teams that could survive an injury to their starter. You wouldn’t want Miller playing 50 games, but anything short of that is a boon.

Defense: On paper, this has a chance to be a pretty young, dynamic blue line. And yet…

You look at Hampus! Hampus!, Cam Fowler, Josh Manson, and Brandon Montour and you think, “Wow, that’s a lot of mobile, skilled d-men there.” And yet you watch the Ducks and you struggle to find a shit to give. Maybe it’s Randy Carlyle‘s system, but none of these guys pushed the play at a positive rate last year. Cam Fowler has mastered the “So What?” method his entire career. Really, only Manson and Hampus! Hampus! were weapons last season, and they don’t play as much as Fowler and Montour for reasons. If Manson and Hampus! Hampus! take the top pairing minutes and Fowler and Montour do a little more bum-slaying, it will be good. If Carlyle’s mush-brain gets in the way…

The third-pairing looks to be rookie Marcus Pettersson and glorified ent Andrej Sustr, who’s never done anything for anyone. Korbinian Holzer could return in March or so, if that’s something you want to wait for and believe me you don’t.

Forwards: If the Ducks were smart, or smarter, they’d have been trying to move Ryan Getzlaf and his inability to find a fuck to give anywhere down to the #2 center role at least two years ago. But they haven’t, counting on the gremlins and duct tape that Ryan Kesler was made out of to do all the hard work. Well, now thats not an option, and the Ducks will be rolling with essentially an older, balder, dumber, less-determined Jonathan Toews as their #1 center. Getzlaf managed 61 points in just 56 games last year, which would make you think he rediscovered his give-a-shit, but don’t you believe it. He got run over in the playoffs, which is his finisher, and you can count on him to do so again this year. And without Kesler around, he may have to take on harder assignments which he’ll have about as much interest in as your dog does of learning geometry.

Corey Perry died, and good riddance. Rickard Rakell is going to have to do a lot of the scoring to make the top line go, which makes his 34 goals last year pretty handy. Without Kesler, Adam Henrique will be the #2 center with Fifth Feather fave Andrew Cogliano and Jakob Silfverberg, which is a pretty nifty second-line except thanks to Perry’s rotting corpse and Getzlaf’s rotting want-to it’s probably the first line.

The depth after that falls off a cliff though, with really only Ondrej Kase having any level of NHL-success on the bottom six. If the top line misfires, there’s not going to be anyone to pick up the slack, and that’s even if Carlyle could be convinced to trust young kids. Troy Terry and Sam Steel come in with serious junior/college pedigree, and the four Ducks fans who actually know what’s going on will be livid when The Toast Maker is trying to cram Patrick Eaves in ahead of one of them.

Outlook: If Steel and Terry stick, this is a pretty young Ducks team below the top line. The goalies are good, and with the right coach the defense could be as well. But Perry is done, and Getzlaf has to pile up the points that end up not mattering if this team is going to score enough. Still, there is no softer landing than the Pacific., They’re not the Sharks, they’re probably not the Knights. But they’re better than whatever else is stuck to the pipes out west. Another playoff appearance awaits. Just don’t blink or you’ll miss it.

Previous Team Previews

Detroit Red Wings

Buffalo Sabres

Boston Bruins

Florida Panthers

Montreal Canadiens

Ottawa Senators

Tampa Bay Lightning

Toronto Maple Leafs

Carolina Hurricanes

New Jersey Devils

New York Islanders

New York Rangers

Philadelphia Flyers

Pittsburgh Penguins

Washington Capitals

Everything Else

Night Songs – Round 1 Day 8: California Is Burning

By Sam Fels April 19, 2018 1840 0

Let’s all shed a tear for SoCal hockey. Because they love being called “SoCal.” Anyway, now that that’s over…

Penguins 5 – Flyers 0 (PIT leads 3-1)

Only in hockey would it basically go under the radar that the Flyers rock-person defenseman Radko Gudas…

Injured their #1 center in practice! Sure, they’re all calling it an accident but there was video of it and it sure didn’t look all that accidental. Gudas, who thinks toothpaste comes out of the tube via magic, who can’t do anything but put other players in danger, kneecapped his own team’s chances in practice! We’re talkin’ bout practice! Imagine if like…fuck I don’t even know what to compare it to…Tristan Thompson tripping LeBron James? Ok, Sean Couturier isn’t LeBron on ice or anything close.

The point is that in Philly, this is just the price of doing business. Flyers fans don’t seem to care, because they either think their players are supposed to do Medieval Times for real in practice or that the Flyers are just such a ridiculous entity that of course their d-man who sets the sport back a decade is going to injure their #1 center because FLYERA. What a team. What a city. Maybe they’re still drunk from the Iggles (maybe?!).

Anyway, the Flyers are done and the Penguins are more fun anyway.

Lightning 3 – Devils 1 (TB Diddler’s lead 3-1)

This series is still taking place in the dark, but if you missed it they did try and kill each other last night. Nikita Kucherov probably should get whacked for a game for his hit on Sami Vatanen, which if you missed, and the Devils spent the rest of the night trying to exact a pound of flesh. Which really isn’t their strength. And the Lightning just skipped off with the space. This will end soon, which is fine because the Devils aren’t supposed to really be here in the arc of their development anyway. At least Taylor Hall got the spotlight.

Predators 3 – Avalanche 2 (NSH leads 3-1)

Just outclassed. Filip Forsberg can probably do this himself, even if it never feels like the Preds have hit anywhere near top gear. They did enough in the first two periods to demonstrate what a mismatch this is, considering what the Avs are and what they’re missing. The Avs did mount a furious comeback but when you’re there that’s rarely going to work. Let’s get to what we’ve all been waiting for.

Ducks 1 – Sharks 2 (Sharks sweep)

I’ll have more on this in the Ducks eulogy later today, but safe to say no one’s going to miss the Ducks. Even the Ducks. The Sharks are just an efficient team built to win a round or two but then job for one of the powers out of the Central. Then again, you can see them giving the Preds or Jets a real problem simply from memory because they’ve done this so much. It’s a very good blue line that’s fully healthy, Jones is playing really well, and if Thornton returns and THEY KEEP PAVELSKI AT CENTER WHAT’S SO HARD ABOUT THIS then they’ve got real depth. It feels like it’s very Sharks-depth though, where it’s just enough to break their fans’ hearts again. But that’s their way.

Everything Else

Watching The Party – FFUD’s 1st Round Preview: Ducks vs. Sharks or Impetigo in My Armpit

By John Pullega April 12, 2018 1836 0

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SCHEDULE: Game 1: Thursday, Game 2: Saturday, Game 3: April 16, Game 4: April 18

It’s fitting that the only series that would give the Kings/Golden Knights series a run for its “things I would rather hit myself over the head with a tack hammer than watch” money pits two unbearable monoliths against one another. The Sharks are looking for their first Cup ever while the Ducks are looking to make one more run with the Perry–Getzlaf–Kesler Connection in a matchup that only Gary Bettman has frothy loins over. Let’s get to the on-ice equivalent of that image here.

Goalies: John Gibson proved his mettle this year with the Ducks, posting a sparkling 92.6 SV% over 60 games. There’s only one goaltender with a better save percentage and at least 50 games under his belt on the year, and that’s Ol’ Shit Hip down in Nashville. And Gibson got his beak wet in the playoffs last year, with 16 starts, a 9-5 record, and a 91.8 SV% before bowing out late in the Nashville series. The only question now is will he make the bell, as he’s been nursing an upper body injury since April 1. He’s expected to go tonight, but if not, they’ll have Ryan “Kane for” Miller in the crease. Miller’s been on a bit of a hot streak, giving up just four goals over his last three starts against the Wild, Stars, and Coyotes, including a shutout of the Coyotes in the last game of the year. They’d much prefer Gibson you assume, but they aren’t entirely up shit creek if he needs to sit the first one out.

The Sharks will throw Martin Jones in their own crease, whose career similarity score compares him most closely to John Gibson. IT’S LIKE I’M SEEING DOUBLE: FOUR KRUSTYS. After pitching seven straight wins to the tune of a 91.9 SV% in mid-to-late March, Jones has gone a bit cold, going 1-4 with an 87.4 SV%, including allowing five goals on 19 shots against Minnesota last Saturday. But Jones has a habit of showing up when it counts, as reflected in his career 92.5 SV% and 2.01 GAA over 32 playoff games.

Defense: The Most Appropriately Named Player for His Team, Cam Fowler, is going to miss the entire round and perhaps more if the Ducks find their way out, which throws oil on an already average-at-best defensive corps. Once you get past HAMPUS! HAMPUS! and Josh Manson, you start entering “They have guys who can play minutes” territory in Francois Beauchemin—who figures to be as quiet as most of the letters in his name—Brandon Montour, Marcus Pettersson, and Andy Welinski, who’s played all of seven games this year, and only three in 2018.

The Sharks corps will live and die by Brent Burns and his “I promise not to skin you alive in a secluded cave” aura. Beyond him are the criminally underappreciated Vlasic and Justin BRRRRAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUN, who coupled their shutdown pairing ways with respective 32 and 28 point seasons. There isn’t much hiding from the Sharks D-corps, and it’s here that you can expect the Sharks to pull away.

Forwards: For what seems like the trillionth, and mercifully and hopefully final time, the big bag of ass-hair clippings known as Corey Perry will skate alongside Bald Asshole Ryan Getzlaf in this playoff series. Along with Rickard Rakell, this line will probably see a whole lot of Pickles and Braun, which doesn’t bode well for Corey Perry’s tiny-faced, hair-trigger temper or Getzlaf’s “Good When It Doesn’t Matter” playoff play style. And you’ll no doubt hear all about Ryan Kesler’s “spirit” and “ability to get under opponents’ skin” because once you get past the fact that he’s a giant pissbaby, there’s not much more to say about him. He’s hurt, he sucks, and he’ll take a bad penalty when it matters. The third-line of Ritchie–Henrique–Kase will need to do some sneaky damage, as they have the best chance of avoiding the Sharks defensive buzzsaw in the Top 4.

The Sharks have one of the better on-paper Top 9s in the league, especially now that The Other Asshat Kane has joined the top line. He’s been nursing an arm injury but expects to play tonight. The third line of Meier–Tierney–Labanc has all the potential in the world to turn the series, as each had 35+ point seasons and all are 23 or under. Tierney is the only one with extensive playoff experience, but I suspect that Hampus and Manson will get saddled with the Pavelski and Couture lines, leaving this line space to make magic. And there’s the outside chance that Jumbo Joe makes his HBK from the rafters appearance at some point, but that’s far from a guarantee.

Prediction: This series has all the appeal and intrigue of treating an impetigo infection in your armpit. The Ducks are coming in hot, having won 10 of their last 12 and five of their last six, but if they’re asking Miller to do anything more than spot start, they’re going to have trouble. The Sharks defense and special teams figures to be the difference maker, especially if Martin Jones does Martin Jones-y things in the playoffs. The Sharks still have that late-aughts Cubs feel to them, but that oughtn’t rear its head until at least the second round. Sharks in 7.

Everything Else

Game #66 How Does it Feel to Be One of the Beautiful People? – Hawks 3, Ducks 6

By Rose Rankin March 4, 2018 2433 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

As is their way, the Hawks ricocheted from being interesting yesterday to incompetent today, managing to dig themselves into a hole from which light could not escape, much less their shitty offensive capabilities. To the bullets:

–Putrid defense put the Hawks down early. In the first Keith got beat on Rakell’s goal, and Jordan Oesterle went full-on Jordan Oesterle and just watched mesmerized as Corey Perry spin-o-rama’d around him for the second goal. On both Pettersson’s and Silfverberg’s goals in the second, I wished Forsberg would have had them, but he was being screened on the former and generally hung out to dry on both. Of course, Forsberg took the heat for all this and got pulled for Berube mid-way through the second. I can’t fault Q for that decision, but at the same time I can’t fault Forsberg for all those goals (winner: most well-worn line this season).

–The Hawks actually did show some life after the goalie switch. They ended the second with a 61.2 CF% and were beating the Ducks in shots thanks to sustained pressure late in the period. Tomas Jurco made himself useful with a couple shots and a redirect of Connor Murphy’s shot for their first goal. So it was nice that the Hawks felt nervous enough to actually try skating after Forsberg got pulled, but we should note that it didn’t come after another eventful moment in the second…

–…And that moment was the Toews-Kesler fight. Now, admittedly I was genuinely laughing out loud as this took place. Normally during theses GRIT HEART FART demonstrations I roll my eyes and complain, but the lack of physicality and the total uselessness of this “battle” was truly hilarious. It did absolutely nothing in terms of FIRING UP the Hawks—in fact they gave up two more goals while Toews was in the box, basically putting the game out of reach before it even got to halfway through the second. Amusing as it was, this fight encapsulated why fighting is dumb and pointless: it doesn’t make guys play better and it lands someone in the box for five minutes. Well done.

–Schmaltz’s first goal in the third was a good case study in persistence. It was also kind of a softie for Gibson, but whatever, I’m going to take what I can get. I’m hoping that as this LONG offseason proceeds, he works on his strength so that he can out-muscle backcheckers just like that all the time. Also, the play of that line (Top Cat-Schmaltz-Hinostroza) on the third goal was lovely, and gives me hope for the future after said offseason.

Whatta weekend, right? It’s been quite a time in California, but now the Hawks are coming home so they can fuck up at the UC for the next week. Now that we know what this season is, and we know what will not be happening come April and May, we can just innocently wonder what each game will bring, because as this road trip showed, you really never know with these assholes. Onward and upward.

Beer de jour (accurate for once as this game was de jour not de nuit): Furious by Surly Brewing (because no two adjectives could describe me better)

Everything Else

Game #66 – Hawks vs. Ducks Preview/Remote Programming: Smile Gets Blue, Someone Should Have Warned You

By Sam Fels March 4, 2018 2061 0

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RECORDS: Hawks 28-29-8 Ducks 32-21-12

PUCK DROP: 3:00 PM

TV: NBCSN Chicago

UNDERGROUND DISNEYLAND OVERLORDS: Anaheim Calling

After showing an actual pulse yesterday in the third period, after a comeback we hadn’t seen in a very long while, and after an actually stirring win (though signifying nothing), the Hawks reward is to huff it down the I-5 to Orange County. Almost doesn’t seem fair. Anaheim isn’t a reward for anything.

What the Hawks will find when they get there is much like yesterday, a team clutching the last playoff spot with one or two cla…feet? Beaks? Whatever, carry your own metaphor here. The Ducks are in the last wild card spot, one point ahead of both the Avs and Blues and three ahead of the Flames. They’re four behind the Kings for the right to have another Battle of California in the first round.

It’s been up and down since you last saw Anaheim take a tight one over the Hawks here at the UC 20 days ago. They won the next three in Dallas, Vegas and Minnesota, but then found a way to only find a point in back-to-back games against the Coyotes and Oilers. They bounced back on Thursday with a win over the similarly flailing Blue Jackets.

Not much has changed with the Ducks in that time, roster-wise. GM Bob Murray didn’t think this team was worth investing too heavily into at the deadline, and with good cause. The problems they have–i.e. Cory Perry died, Ryan Getzlaf stopped caring about three seasons ago, and Ryan Kesler is now made of gum and duct tape–aren’t going to be solved by any trade. The Ducks can’t score much thanks to Perry dragging down the top line and Kesler the second, and Adam Henrique on the third can only do so much. But they don’t give up much either, thanks to the sterling form of John Gibson and Randy “Concussions Happen Because The Brain Gets Hot While Wearing A Helmet” Carlyle’s system not really allowing for any adventure on either side. They do that while still playing Kevin Bieksa, which is a hell of an accomplishment.

That’ll make for a real decision for Murray this summer, as Gibson will be heading into the last year of his deal. Thankfully for Murray it’ll only be an RFA problem but we know what starting goaltenders go for. Another big year from Gibson and he could ask for a lot from a team committed to paying their three cadavers at forward $23.4 million from here until The Reckoning.

While the Ducks will be flapping furiously until the end of the season (see what I did there?) to make the playoffs, that’s basically only window dressing for them. This team is most likely first-round cannon fodder for anyone they see, unless Gibson simply goes nuts. They don’t have the front-line scoring as Perry and Getzlaf are just too easily taken out of games now (as they always were in any game that mattered when they could move). Hampus! Hampus! is having a Norris quality season but Carlyle is insisting on playing him with Bieksa now, so what’s that shutting down? Cam Fowler and Brandon Montour aren’t doing that either. Stranger things have happened of course, but don’t bet on it. And once they’re out, this Ducks window is almost certainly closed.

Shouldn’t see too many changes from the Hawks, other than in net where JF Berube will hopefully not have Erik Gustafsson trying to kill him emotionally and physically as he did in San Jose. Q could get cute we guess and start Forsberg again, trying to ride the wave of yesterday. Whatever at this point. More of The Nuclear Option and see just what Carlyle wants to combat that with.

We know most of you are rooting for losses and better drafting position. We don’t blame you. But given how much we hate Anaheim and that they still have something to play for, seeing the Hawks try and build something off of yesterday and making life harder for the Ducks has major appeal. This one won’t be pretty given how the Ducks normally play, their stakes in this one, and the Hawks having played yesterday. But as is always the case in Orange County, just get through it and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

Game #66 Preview

Everything Else

Game #66 – Hawks vs. Ducks Q&A: We Couldn’t Bother Jen About Cam Fowler Again

By Sam Fels March 4, 2018 1627 0

A scheduling quirk sees the Hawks play three straight teams that they just played, so here’s the Q&A we did with @MsJenNeale just two weeks ago.

The Ducks have had their injury problems, but are kind of floating in the netherworld below the playoffs and all the metrics suggest that’s about right. Is this where this team should be?

Yes, I would say so. John Gibson is epically average – as I’ve insisted for years. Randy Carlyle is who we thought he was, Mr. Dump ‘n Chase. Kesler is playing at 60% after offseason hip surgery. The Ducks are lucky the rest of the Pacific (sans Vegas) is a dumpster fire or they’d be worse off.

Rickard Rakell is having another big season, though accumulating a fair amount on the power play. Is he or will he be a premier even-strength scorer?

The kid is magical. It depends on if he can stay healthy and who he plays with. Keep him with Getzlaf and he probably starts getting more even strength goals. Lord knows Getzlaf won’t shoot and Perry couldn’t put a beach ball in the net.

Corey Perry has 12 goals so far after 19 last year. Is he D-O-N-E?

He certainly appears to have stopped stealing souls or drinking the blood of sacrificed animals in order to gain his talent. He’s still doing Corey Perry things on the ice, but the scoring isn’t there. I don’t think he’s done-done, but he’s not scoring 25 goals anymore. Dude doesn’t even play in OT because he’s too slow. When Getzlaf is out-skating you, you got a problem.

On the flip side, we’ve been trying to make a Norris case for Hampus Lindholm even if he doesn’t have the points. That good?

So, so good. He embodies what the Norris Trophy should be rewarded for. The sad part is he plays out West and won’t score a ton of points so he won’t get the attention he deserves. His shot is getting better so maybe one day he’ll get a Norris (for points).

Where is this Ducks team headed in the next couple years?

Hear that creaking sound? That’s the window closing. Getzlaf, Perry and Kesler are signed until the end of time, and they’re clearly on the downside of their careers. Around them are a lot of young, but good parts. If Patrick Eaves never plays again, I’d hope the Ducks could keep Adam Henrique with that money. He’s been a revelation.

I’m mostly concerned with what Bob Murray does when Gibson’s contract is up after next season. He’ll be an RFA and Murray looooooves him. I don’t want the Ducks money tied up in an average goalie for a long time. They’ve already done they with three forwards. It’s only going to make future success by the team damn near impossible. (I still miss Freddie Anderson.)

Game #66 Preview

Everything Else

Game #58 Out of Nine Lives, I’ve Spent Seven – Hawks 2, Ducks 3

By Rose Rankin February 15, 2018 2350 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Hockey Stats

An eight-game losing streak. A two-goal lead squandered. Numbers are not our friend right now. To the bullets:

–We basically saw a unicorn tonight: Keith scored on a power play (a sentence I was beginning to think I’d never write). Saad also got a goal for the first time since early January. It’s hard to know which one to be more excited about, if one thinks they warrant excitement. Keith took a hard shot from the point early in the second, on a tripping penalty drawn by Top Cat (more on him later). Saad’s was exactly the type of goal he needed to maybe get his confidence going. It was off a beautiful pass from Our Cousin Vinny, and Gibson belly-flopped leaving Saad with a wide open net to just taaaaap it in. Both goals happened in the first half of the second period and things were looking up.

–And then the defensive breakdowns came. Forsberg held up well during the first, including when Keith went all shinpads which led to a breakaway that he (Forsberg) stopped. But Murphy and Kempny both fumbled and allowed turnovers that directly led to Ritchie’s and Kase’s goals. As someone who has sung the praises of both Murphy and Kempny and argued LOUDLY for them to remain in the lineup, I naturally cringed at these plays, not so much because I thought they were particularly egregious (anyone seen the play of Jordan Oesterle lately?), but because I’m afraid both will get benched for making mistakes. It certainly wasn’t their best game, not for either one of them—Murphy managed to end the night with a 55 CF% but had the bad turnover, and Kempny only finagled a 41.4 CF%. But I still don’t want to see talented guys who just need some confidence, and probably some predictability, get fucked over by the Q Double Standard. To wit, Kempny managed to lay out and break up a 3-on-1 in the first, but you know Q won’t be thinking about that when the time comes for Saturday’s lineup.

Oh, and on that note, Seabrook was a mix of dumb and unlucky on the go-ahead goal by Henrique in the third. The puck took some bizarre bounces and he was left standing there rather helplessly…think he’ll be in the press box again? Hahahaha, I know, funny joke amirite??

–The Ducks falling all over each other in an attempt to beat up Hartman, who was smart enough to not engage, was truly peak Anaheim. Hartman leveled Silfverberg late in the second but it was a clean hit. Manson & Co. couldn’t jump his ass fast enough, and despite Hartman playing it cool he still got called for roughing, which was yet another example of shitty calls not going the Hawks’ way lately. Of course it’s impossible to know what could-have-might-have happened if the Hawks had had a four-minute power play, but it was a bullshit call nonetheless.

–Foley and Eddie couldn’t stop drooling all over Tommy Wingels and Lance Bouma, but I’m here to tell you they sucked. If the Hawks were trying to showcase their wares in the trade marketplace (which I sincerely hope they were and I have to tell myself this is the reason they were playing on the top two lines), it probably backfired by reminding everyone how un-skilled they really are. I lost track of how many opportunities Bouma floundered away—a feed to Kane in the first, a pass from Hinostroza in the second, and on and on and on. The only silver lining of putting them on the top lines for this game is that thanks to the outcome, Q’s blender will dump them back in the bottom six.

–While we’re searching for silver linings, the kids once again showed us that there is hope. None of the younglings scored a goal, but Hinostroza set up Saad perfectly, he and Schmaltz had excellent speed throughout the game, and Top Cat was as good as we’ve come to expect. In the first, he was smart enough to stall on a delayed penalty while Anaheim was on a power play, effectively killing the penalty and extending what would become a Hawks power play. It’s the little things now where we have to find happiness.

–We’ve been saying it’s a goalie league, and this game was living proof. Forsberg wasn’t terrible but he got beat by Gibson being better, the latter of whom made a huge stop late in the third on Saad, and ended the night stopping 42 of 44 shots for a .955 SV%.

Well, this is where we are these days. Tonight they (again) didn’t play terribly, and for the most part they showed up and gave it the ‘ole college try. But sometimes it’s not enough, and this is one of those times. Onward and upward.

Everything Else

Game #58 – Ducks vs. Hawks Preview/Curling Watch Party: Love Letters In The Sand

By Sam Fels February 15, 2018 2106 0

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RECORDS: Ducks 27-20-11 Hawks 24-25-8

PUCK DROP: 7:30

TV: NBCSN Chicago

NOT MISCHA BARTON: Anaheim Calling

It seems so long ago now that games between these teams really meant something. Really got the blood going. There was the one in 2013 in Anaheim that was between the two best winning percentages in like NHL history. Then another one a week later. There was the ’15 Conference Final, one of the weirdest and stressful series the Hawks ever played. It’s memories like that we’ll have to cling to even tighter now, to get through the last two months here. They’re going to seem a little foggier than they did.

Anyway, the Hawks are scheduled to show up to host the Ducks tonight. The Ducks still have things to play for, as due to the Pacific Division’s utter incompetence they haven’t been bounced from those playoff spots and they’re only three points behind the Wild for a wild card spot. Not that you’ve thought about the Ducks at all this season, and really nor should you.

For one, the Ducks have been beat up, and they weren’t all that interesting to begin with. Getzlaf, Perry (not sure if it still matters), Kase, Kesler, Fowler, Hampus! Hampus!, and Eaves have all missed significant time this year. They’ve barely had a full lineup at any point. At the moment only Eaves is still out, so this is as close as they’ve gotten.

But even that lineup isn’t really impressive, at least not at forward. Corey Perry is just an anal fissure now, as he can’t score or move. He’s basically a slow Burrows, except he’s so slow he can’t even get there to provide his normal bullshit. He won’t get suspended at any time because he’ll never be there in time to knee anyone. Ryan Getzlaf stopped caring about shooting or skating in between the circles at least four years ago, and that’s only gotten worse. Kesler is on one hip now and can’t really score to make it all count the way he used to, and he can barely get in range so you can hear whatever he’s yapping about. That basically leaves the Ducks without a #1 center or much of a #1 line. Rickard Rakell is making a fist of it but a good portion of his scoring comes on the man-advantage. Kase, Silfverberg, apple of Fifth Feather’s eye Cogliano, these are all useful players but they’re middle six players. Adam Henrique has threatened at being more since coming over from Jersey, and without him, boy who knows where they’d be? It’s hardly a shock that the Ducks are 24th in goals per game, and Randy Carlyle’s “hit that thing with that thing” method of opening up offense or any jar in his house isn’t helping.

It’s unfortunate, because there could be a pretty dynamic, young defensive group here. Hampus! Hampus! might be the most underrated player in the league. Brandon Montour has had a breakout season. Josh Manson has kept pace with Hampus! Hampus! Cam Fowler actually turned out to be what we always made fun of him for not being. But they’re weighed down by Kevin “Vacuous Maw” Bieksa and Francois “No I’m Not Dead I Always Look Like That” Beauchemin. And they aren’t given much license to get creative from their coach, to which a good dump-in is akin to a religion. Whenever the Ducks blow it up, if they decide to or even can, the blue line will be a nice building block.

They’ve been backed up most of the year by John Gibson, who’s just good enough to break your heart. He actually goes RFA this year which should make for some interesting viewing. Either way, the Ducks should be a desperate team tonight.

For the Hawks…I don’t even know any more. It looks like Erik Gustafsson will be the scratch tonight as Carl Dahlstrom has impressed enough to stick around. And that’s fine. Glass Jeff has been punted back to Rockford, and that’s fine. J.F. Berube is your new import, which tells you everything you need to know. Tommy Wingels and Lance Bouma are on the top two lines as Stan hangs a “For Sale” sign out in the hopes of mid-round picks for both. To compensate for that Top Cat is on a fourth line with Hartman and Sharp, and we are left to look around and where we are and think about all our regrets and mistakes in our lives.

At this point, as we’ve said, it’s really just about pride. The Hawks really didn’t play badly in Vegas and were undone by a goalie who simply didn’t belong. Not really anyone’s fault on that. They at least looked like they wanted to be there. Should be an interesting atmosphere at the UC tonight. First off, probably won’t be more than three-quarters full, which will come as a shock to some. And it will be a crowd ready to groan, jeer, and boo at a moment’s notice. This is the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days! They’re back, there’s no choices left.

Game #58 Preview