Everything Else

Diamonds… And Dust

Well, the Hawks news creature briefly woke up from its springtime slumber to give us this little nugget today. Apparently the Hawks are trying to goad/threaten/beg, I’m really not sure which, the Vegas Golden Gods (I never said I was a golden god) into taking Trevor van Riemdsdyk off their hands. And they’ll do it by getting them to take Marcus Kruger along with him. Somehow, if the Knights don’t promise to take Kruger in a trade, the Hawks will then trade TVR to someone else who will… protect him? The nuts and bolts of this are a little fuzzy.

This is the NHL, and you can always find a dumbass GM who thinks your player is a hell of a lot better than he actually is, especially when you’re not that far removed from championship glow as the Hawks still just barely are. But this one is hard to figure.

In order for the Hawks to ship TVR off that easily that they could threaten this, they must know of a team or a few that A) wants TVR–which shouldn’t exist because…wanna make sure everyone’s paying attention here…HE SUCKS MORE THAN JUST ABOUT ANYONE HAS EVER SUCKED. HE SUCKS MORE THAN THAT THING IN YELLOW SUBMARINE WHICH SUCKED EVERYTHING INCLUDING HIMSELF SUCKS. LIGHT SHOULD NOT ESCAPE HIS SURFACE DUE TO THE SUCKING POWER.

And B) likes him so much that they would make him one of three or four d-men that they’re going to protect. Like, they’d value him almost as a top four d-man. I just can’t fathom that could exist, but I suppose people trade for and pay awful d-men all the fucking time. Hi there, Kris Russell.

And I’m not sure that’s even the worst part of all this. We here have been the leaders in the Marcus Kruger Fanclub since about 2013. And getting rid of Kruger isn’t going to solve the Hawks’ cap woes. The two of them together save about $3.9 million, which doesn’t even get the Hawks under the cap, not to mention the penalty they’re facing thanks to Panarin’s bonuses. Maybe Kruger is only the first step, but then you have to wonder how deep this rabbit hole goes.

But on the ice, it’s a real problem. We’ve catalogued for a while now just what a unicorn Kruger is, as no one in the league gets the dungeon shifts more than he does, and yet he remains one of the best possession players on the team. And if you think for one second that Working Class Kero is going to be able to replicate that, please report to the nearest pier and jump off of it as you are a danger to society.

Kruger’s fortunes on the ice are actually linked to Jonathan Toews’s. If the Hawks have hope of recovering anything resembling vintage Toews–whether that’s gone forever or not is a debate we’ll be having all of next season I’m sure–they’re going to want to get him away from other teams’ top lines. That’s where Kruger comes in and specializes. If Kruger is gone and Kero or Hinostroza or Schmaltz or whatever joker they come up with to man the middle on lines three and four are getting railroaded by the #1 centers of the league, it’s going to be up to Toews again to do it. How’d that look this year?

Again, the numbers might simply mean Kruger plus someone else has to go, and if that’s Hjalmarssson the Hawks are probably just going to be running in place and none of this matters anyway. No one is going to take Seabrook’s contract unless they take a shitty one in return, which went oh so well with Trevor Daley and Rob Scuderi.

Boy the Hawks sure do need Marian Hossa to “throw out his back” lifting weights this summer badly, huh?

Even our suggestion, which is looking to deal Artemi Panarin, isn’t going to be enough and that’s if you don’t take any salary back. The hope would be a d-man on an ELC (oh hi there, Noah Hanafin) but that’s going to be tough to do.

Everyone feeling good about the highest cap hits in the league being here? Bet you are.

Of course, even if Stan can somehow pull this off, following next season, Hartman and Hayden would be due raises, if Hayden is actually anything and we don’t know that yet. So would Kempny after he spends all season making Q look like a fool for not playing him this year, which he will. So it very well may be that next season is the last one the Hawks can seriously take a shot at it, and it’s going to take some serious one-legged crows to even make that happen.