This is one of the absolute strangest games to try to recap. The Hawks played pretty bad but the numbers don’t seem to bear it out. Let’s dig in.
– So, the Hawks CF on the night was 50.53%, which bears out a pretty evenly played game. But if you click that Natural Stat Trick link above and find the game flow chart, you’ll see that it took until the Hawks were down 4-1 for them to even start making substantial progress on bringing this back to even. Folks, we call that score effects. This was a piss poor performance from the start and they got shitbrained by a team that realistically shouldn’t be that much better than them. That’s bad.
– Cam Ward is a huge reason why the game went south so quickly, but it clearly couldn’t all be hung on him. He was awful in net, but that only compounded the problems – it might not have mattered as much how bad he was playing if it weren’t for the fact that the Hawks were playing like dog shit in front of him. Still, we knew that Ward was a bad signing when it happened, it’s continued to show as a bad signing since, and tonight was one of his worst games of the year. Luckily there are only 34 games left, and he probably will play less than half of them. So we have that going for us!
– Slater Koekkoek is awful. I don’t even need to see more of him to reach that conclusion. The numbers showed it before he got here, and it just took one night of watching him before we saw it. I don’t even give a shit that he had a 60% CF at 5v5. I don’t want him around.
– Patrick Kane is so wasted on this fucking team. He’s arguably the most wasted player in the NHL, and that says something considering Connor McDavid is still stranded in freakin’ Edmonton. But it’s clear that Kane is still one of the top-5 players in the game, and as Sam wrote last week he might be having his best season ever, and yet he’s wasted on this team that is approaching the inarguable status as the worst team in the league. Eat at Arby’s.
After taking two of the West’s best to overtime, and then losing in that gimmick when their slow defense wasn’t really prepared for 3-on-3, the Hawks venture for a week in New York to face some of the East’s sludge. There’s always sludge involved when you’re in New Jersey, but this time around it also applies to the team that resides there.
The Devils aren’t vying for a playoff spot this time around, like they somehow miracle’d their way to last year. One, Taylor Hall is hurt now, though he was over a point-per-game when he was fit. This time though, they aren’t getting goalie performance from out of a top hat, as Keith Kinkaid has returned to being Keith Kinkaid, Cory Schneider is now made out of boogers and adhesive, and they’re pinning their hopes on neophyte MacKenzie Blackwood. Somehow, the Devils only have the 12th-worst SV% at even-strength, even though both Kinkaid and Schneider can’t see .900 with a telescope.
It also doesn’t help that this isn’t a very good defensive team, with the fifth-worst xGA/60 in the league, and not much better in attempts against. It might have something to do with not having a d-man worth a damn on the roster. Andy Greene is a million years old and you’ve never heard of him anyway, so he’s the perfect Devils captain. Sami Vatanen has always been a power play weapon only, Will Butcher continues a long tradition of prized college free agents who end up being a fart in the wind, and Mirco Mueller has a really long neck. Damon Severson is probably worth holding onto, but that’s probably it. Look at this blue line and you’ll react like the business manager to Kramer. “I don’t know what this is supposed to be.”
Up front there’s some hope, even without the injured Hall. Nico Hischier is putting up some pretty impressive underlying numbers in a junior Bergeron act. Kyle Palmieri continues to score goals and also continues to make you wonder why you should give a shit. Miles Wood is a porn name. While this is a more dynamic and entertaining Devils team than the ones of yore, it still needs more talent than its got to be relevant…well, relevant maybe for the first time. I’m not sure they were relevant even when they were winning Cups. Certainly no one other than the highway-side strip club patrons bothered to notice.
For the Hawks, not too many changes one would think. Cam Ward will get the start to give Delia nearly a full week to reset after two tough losses his last two starts. Slater Koekkoek could make his debut tonight, and the Hawks might actually dress seven d-men to do so, but we won’t find out until gametime. The clear option is to scratch Seabrook and let Koekkoek run around on the third-pairing with either Carl Dahlstrom or Henri Jokiharju, but we all know Coach Cool Youth Pastor isn’t going to scratch Seabrook unless you dangled him off a cliff. Dahlstrom could face the axe as well.
The Devils murdered the Hawks twice last year, and basically killed Corey Crawford while they were at it. While not the most skilled, this is an extremely fast team and the Hawks couldn’t cope. The same rules as Saturday apply here, which the Hawks followed pretty well for the first 40. None of the complicated breakouts, just get the puck up to the forwards or ahead of them aw quickly as possible. Any missteps will be pounced on by the Devils’ quick forwards, so the simpler the better. Blackwood has looked very good in his brief foray, but put him under pressure and see what happens. The Hawks are slightly better equipped for these track meets than they were, though still not their strength.
There’s four games before the Hawks hit the bye. They probably need them all to not be buried by the time the bye is over and all those games in hand are made up. They can’t say their season is over, or act like it, even if we can. So if they’re intent on still a death rattle, it probably has to be now.
It is truly strange how quietly young goalies sneak into the league. Carter Hart is about the only goalie you hear mentioned as a future building block for any team, despite how many teams need goalies. Even here in town, you didn’t hear Collin Delia‘s name until last year, and he wasn’t even mentioned as a possible future starter until this season. Teams just arrive at a starting goalie, almost by accident.
And considering it might be the most important position in the four major sports, it’s startling that it is that way. Your team drafts a quarterback and a city’s entire economic future depends on it. Everything is dissected. If there’s one at the top of the draft, you get him. And if you don’t, everyone thinks you’re an idiot. Remember when the Texans passed on Vince Young for Mario Williams? People lost their goddamn minds! So why aren’t goalies like that?
In the last draft, the first goalie was taken in the second round. The year before that there was one taken in the first round. The year before that, Hart was the first one taken in the second round. Given the outsized importance of the position, shouldn’t the draft look like your fantasy draft and a goalie taken with like the first 15 picks? It’s the position you have to get most right, and yet it doesn’t seem like anyone has a surefire system for doing so.
Look around the best goaltenders in the league and you kind of get the impression every team found them by accident. Pekka Rinne was an 8th-round pick. Ben Bishop is on his fifth team. Robin Lehner is on his fourth. David Rittich came from nowhere. There are a handful of European signings, where the goalie system seems to be completely different and yet no one is trying it here. Only Andrei Vasilevskiy and John Gibson appear to be drafted for exactly this, going in the first and second round, respectively.
MacKenzie Blackwood is an example. He had a .920 the last two years he was in the OHL, but can you really get a read on a goalie there behind and stopping children. His numbers in the AHL are hardly inspiring, but again, you could be playing behind any collection of janitors and gym teachers there instead of prospects. And you could be playing in a different system than the one you’ll get in the NHL. Corey Crawford‘s numbers in the AHL weren’t all that inspiring either, but all the good d-men the Hawks had were on the Hawks. He never managed a .920 there, and yet look what the Hawks go.
The Devils future may hinge on Blackwood, as you can’t really be good without a goalie. And if you can get one that is young that you can keep cheap for a while, that’s even better, much like a QB on a rookie deal. If he’s not good, then the Devils are going to either have to trade for one and lose good players, or sign one and use up cap space. You’d think teams would be better at developing the most important position, and they’re just not. Looking around, Rinne, Vasilevskiy, Gibson are basically the only premier goalies on the team that drafted them (fuck off, Jonathan Quick stans). You can throw Henrik Lundqvist on there if you want, and maybe Carey Price. Connor Hellebuyck? Is he officially on that list yet? Hard to say. Braden Holtby is another.
Even being kind, that’s still over half the teams in the league who are fishing or have. You’d think they could do better. But this is hockey, baby.
@HellBlazerVice is yet another creature we pulled out of the bin marked, “Unmentionables.” We took him home and fed him and now we can’t get rid of him.
It’s been quite a comedown for the Devils from last year. Is it just the goaltending that’s landed them here?
I’d say it’s mostly the goaltending- they’re virtually the same team as they were last year with regards to their possession and expected goal numbers, but they’re losing a lot because no one can make a stop. Their horrid goaltending combined with John Hynes trying to get the Devils to play a faster style like the Leafs has generally put them in a tough spot because most of the time they’re down 3-0 early and they stop playing aggressively because they’re too worried about putting themselves in a deeper hole. They’ve also had a really tough schedule to start the season- they’ve played a third of their games against legitimate cup contenders or elite teams in Toronto, Tampa, Nashville, Winnipeg, San Jose, Washington and Vegas so that’s not helping either. They’re doing surprisingly better without Hall this year mainly because in at least half of the games where Hall’s been hurt, they’ve gotten strong goaltending from their top goaltending prospect MacKenzie Blackwood, which has given them the confidence to play a bit more aggressive. Outside of Zacha, Butcher, and Wood most of the skaters have met or are exceeding expectations so it’s probably safe to say that the goaltending is the issue.
Shero is just as tight lipped as Lou so it’s hard to tell what Schneider’s status is, but I remember seeing a quote in 31 Thoughts which said that there was some concern about Schneider’s injury being career ending- and I think that might be the case. He just can’t move the way he used to and over the past few years he’s been dealing with a lot of core muscle injuries to go with the hip problems he’s had so that’s going to affect him. He turns 33 in March so the chances of him returning to form are minimal. They can’t give him game time to work out his issues because they’ve got to try and win games in order to have a better chance at keeping Taylor Hall around. His days as a Devil are numbered and he’s probably going to get an amnesty buyout after the inevitable lockout in 2020.
What are the Devils going to do with Taylor Hall? He has one year left on his contract…
The good news is that unlike the Sens or Isles with Karlsson and Tavares, the Devils don’t exactly have the same issues those teams have. Unlike Mean Gene Melnyk, Josh Harris isn’t a cheapskate and the Devils lack of spending has more to do with Shero showing a ton of restraint and not overpaying for mid-tier free agents. Not only do they have the cap space, but they’re probably more than willing to give Hall the money to stay in New Jersey. Unlike the Isles, the Devils have a good GM and aren’t going to replace him with a ghoul like Lou and so far there isn’t a can’t-miss free agent destination like the Leafs- Nashville would fit that bill but playing with Nico and Kyle Palmieri is probably more enticing than playing with Kyle Turris and Colton Sissons on a contender. Re-signing John Hynes should help their chances as he seems to like playing for Hynes. They’re also in a good spot to retool the current roster given that Shero’s trade record is excellent, they might be able to get one of the really good free agents in this year’s class (or alternatively, his good buddy Jordan Eberle) with the $30+ million in cap space they have going into next season and they’ve obviously got a lottery pick with a lottery ball specialist so maybe they end up with one of Hughes, Kakko or Cozens. My guess is that they’ll offer him a blank cheque on July 1st and either he takes the money or waits to see if a contender emerges while having the Devils massive offer in his back pocket as a contingency plan.
At least there appears to be a step forward from Nico Hischier?
The thing about Nico is that you have to watch him closely to appreciate what he brings like someone like Patrice Bergeron or Patrik Elias. He’s not going to be lighting the scoresheet up with four-point games or hat tricks but the Devils have been winning the possession battle when he’s been on the ice. Considering he doesn’t get power play time and Rick Kowalsky has no idea how to run a power play his numbers there aren’t great, but he’s scoring at a better rate than he did this year and that’s probably going to go up once Hall returns from injury and Kowalsky gets his head out of his ass.
The Devils were a rebuilding team last year that spasmed a playoff spot. Is it possible for them to be much worse in the standings but actually moving forward as a team?
If you ask me, moving forward means moving away from the chickenshit conservative style they had towards the end of Lou’s tenure and moving towards the kind of style that teams like Toronto and Tampa play. While they’re trying to do that and it’s not necessarily working, it’s better they do this than go back to playing the chickenshit style they played under DeBoer where the games would be much closer but they couldn’t win because they lacked the skill to win. The thing is with the way they’re playing, it’s going to be much easier to insert difference makers than it would be while playing a conservative style that relies on bad, risk averse players. This is important because they’ve done a better job drafting and most of the guys they’ve drafted are smaller, high skill guys. Someone like 2018 1st rounder Ty Smith- a 5’10”, 175-lb defenseman with great puck skills, is now much easier to play in a system where his puck skills matter rather than one where his puck skills have to be toned down to fit into the safer style. As long as they’re not going back to the ineffective conservative tactics that have failed them in recent years I’m fine with them losing while trying to play a more effective style.
It says something of the nondescript nature of this Devils team that were still left to talk about the ones from the distant past in order to stir any kind of emotion. But that’s where we are. There’s nothing about this Devils team worth getting in a furor, or even a tizzy, over.
Normally, a team that defines an era is a celebration of it, no matter the sport. The Hawks moved along the line of the Red Wings in dominating the game through skill. The Penguins as well, with even greater star power. The Patriots through ruthless planning and quarterback excellence. The Cowboys of the 90s the greater speed needed. The Bulls on having the greatest player to play and killer defense at the right moment. You see where we’re going here.
The Devils were an example of the disintegrating of the sport. Their excellence came when the sport was impossible to watch, when the tactics employed were meant to destroy anything good about hockey. And they did it better than anyone–the clutching, grabbing, trapping, the boredom–which only made it harder to watch. As more and more eyes turned away from hockey, the Devils flourished and only expedited that process, and then more teams tried to copy them. They were sports’ Invisible Boy, only flourishing when no one was watching.
Of course, that only brought glory to fucking northern New Jersey, which is somehow perfect. A place no one wants to be with a team that no one wants to watch that no one could get rid of. It’s not even a place. It’s an area. It’s somewhere you might know on a map. Maybe. You think of landmarks anywhere else. Think of New Jersey, you basically think of sludge and pollution and highways to literally anywhere else. Maybe the airport. The Devils reflected that in hockey form.
It looks like hockey and the NHL has finally recovered from that era, with scoring up and more creative and fun players than perhaps they’ve ever had. It took this long. You can thank the Devils for that.
Notes: Ward gets the start tonight, which seems fine as Delia was a little wonky against the Knights. Overall fine, but his tracking and rebound control were not up to snuff, gives him almost a full week off before the Rangers on Thursday…Not too many other changes, though don’t be surprised if Murphy and Dahlstrom are split up late if it’s close. Dahlstrom really struggled on Saturday, and his first flash is fading. Still worth looking at, but maybe not under the glare of the hardest shifts possible…We’d like to see Jokiharju and Murphy together, but that would involve flipping Murphy to the other side and Coach Cool Youth Pastor doesn’t seem inclined to do that yet…we don’t know how Caggiula got himself onto that third line but he’s done jack and shit with it…
Notes: Taylor Hall is still missing through injury…we have Noesen listed but he’s hurt and is on IR…Blackwood is their prime goalie prospect and with both Schneider and Kinkaid either hurt or terrible it’s his net to lose for the next while, or years….Palmieri has one goal in his last eight, but he always seems to score against the Hawks…Hischier has eight points in his last nine games, which on this team is a veritable bonanza…
It’s time once again for the good, the bad, and the mildly entertaining in all things Blackhawks. This has been a rather relentless part of the schedule, and even though the Hawks will see New Jersey and New York for what may be a bit of a respite, they still have four more games before the All-Star break. Let’s see where we’re at as we get to the end of this death march through January:
The Dizzying Highs
Alex DeBrincat: Sounding a little like a broken record here but in the best way possible. Top Cat has been a force lately, and lord knows we need all the help we can get. He scored twice last night and has five goals in the last week. He’s a fixture on the first power play unit, and he’s a huge part of why the man advantage has actually been, well, advantageous lately (five pp goals since right before Christmas). His shooting percentage is 17.2 right now, and while you’d expect that to decline a little, last season he ended with a 15.5, so there’s every reason to expect he can sorta keep this up. Let’s fucking hope so.
Patrick Kane: You know he’s good, we know he’s good. Sam wrote about the year Garbage Dick is having so I won’t re-hash it here, but in the last week and a half he’s racked up 10 points, including a goal and an assist last night, and he had a playmaker a week back, just for good measure.
The Terrifying Lows
Artem Anisimov. You know he sucks, we know he sucks. Apparently everyone does and yet there he still is on the second line. Despite starting nearly 60% of the time in the offensive zone, and despite playing on a line with one of the best players in the game having one of his best years, ‘ole Wide Dick is underwater in possession (48.9 CF%) and makes multiple dumb mistakes every game that cost his line quality chances. I’ve lost count of the times I make a note during a game about him fumbling a pass, losing a puck in his feet, and basically just standing there staring at things. He’s officially reached “glacial” as the speed at which he skates, and overall is a complete waste of space while also being doubly annoying as the moron not helping them take advantage of Kane’s current performance, and taking what should be Alex DeBrincat’s spot. I know it’s not Arty himself making that decision, but as the useless oaf inexplicably placed there, he’s going to face some wrath.
The Creamy Middles
Collin Delia. I honestly want to put him in the Dizzying Highs really just as a mark of appreciation for what this guy’s putting up with, but let’s be honest about the win/loss column lately. Still, three of his four recent losses came in OT which is stupid anyway, and his play is a big reason why they even made it to those overtimes (particularly against the Flames last week) in the first place. He’s got a .932 SV% with THIS defense in front of him, and with Jokiharju not being around the last couple weeks they had all of about 2.5 functioning defensemen. Delia’s been good.
Jonathan Toews. It’s been a little while since Toews has made the Sugar Pile and I guess we’ve just accepted that he’s good again and taken it as a given. He’s got five points in his last five games, including a gorgeous short-handed goal against the Predators the other night. His 50.8 CF% isn’t mind-blowing but it’s getting the job done, and that’s with just over half his starts in the offensive zone. If he can score consistently and the top line can stay as reliable as it’s been most of the year, this team will remain much more bearable to watch.
The Rockford IceHogs dropped the first two games of what will be a three-game road trip in Texas. The IceHogs picked up a standings point Friday against the Texas Stars, but lost that game in Gus Macker Time before losing the following night in San Antonio.
In losing 4-3 to the Rampage, San Antonio leapfrogged the Hogs in the Central Division standings. Rockford (16-16-3-5) is now in seventh place in the division.
Roster Activity
Defenseman Neil Manning was brought back from the Indy Fuel of the ECHL on Wednesday. Going to Indy (on paper at least) was defenseman Luc Snuggerud, who returned to the Hogs the following day.
Snuggerud has been inactive since a concussion suffered on November 3. Perhaps this is a sign that he is ready to begin skating in Indy or Rockford soon.
Also being assigned to the Fuel was forward Matheson Iacopelli. Like last season, Iacopelli has found it difficult to secure steady ice time in Rockford. He’s appeared in 25 games with the IceHogs this season with two goals and two assists.
On Sunday, defenseman Brandon Davidson was loaned to Rockford by the Blackhawks after he cleared waivers earlier this week. Jan Rutta, who Chicago had sent to the Hogs a month ago, was traded Friday to Tampa Bay.
Recaps
Friday, January 11-Texas 4, Rockford 3 (SO)
This back and forth contest was settled in penalty shots, where veteran Stars forward Travis Morin got the only puck into a net to limit the Hogs to a point in the standings.
Texas took a 1-0 lead with a power play goal by Joel L’Esperance, who put a rebound past Rockford goalie Kevin Lankinen at 12:41 of the first period. The IceHogs drew even late in the period while on the man advantage. Lankinen had just stopped a shorthanded attempt by the Stars James Phelan. Rockford came down the ice, scoring with 44 seconds left when Dylan Sikura knocked in a pass from Andreas Martinsen.
Denis Gurianov put Texas up 2-1 midway through the second period. Late in the period, Nathan Noel tied the game with an outstanding individual effort for a shorthanded goal. An Anthony Louis power play goal 4:38 into the third period gave Rockford a 3-2 advantage. Texas, however, tied it up at 15:42 with Gurianov’s second goal of the night.
It was a scoreless overtime before Morin beat Lankinen in the shootout. Viktor Edjsell, Sikura and Louis all came up empty on their attempts.
Saturday, January 12-San Antonio 4, Rockford 3
Jordan Schroeder had a two-goal evening…but so did the Rampage’s Jordan Nolan. The veteran’s three-point night proved to be too much for the Hogs.
Trevor Smith hit a one-timer from the slot that zipped past Rockford goalie Anton Forsberg and into the net 7:43 into the opening period. The IceHogs tied the score early in the second. Luke Johnson dropped a pass to Dylan Sikura above the right circle. His attempt found its way past San Antonio goalie Jared Coreau at the 1:29 mark.
The Rampage built a 3-1 lead in the second period on strikes by Tanner Kaspick and Nolan. The IceHogs closed the gap to 3-2 4:23 into the third after a faceoff win by Johnson. Schroeder gathered in the puck in front of the San Antonio crease and lifted home the goal past Coreau’s blocker.
San Antonio caught the Hogs napping midway through the third. Nolan took a stretch pass from Joey LaLeggia, skated to the high slot and beat Forsberg to the cord for a 4-2 Rampage lead at the 11:05 mark. Schroeder got his second goal with ten seconds to play with Forsberg on the bench, assisted by Darren Raddysh and Viktor Ejdsell. Unfortunately for Rockford, time ran out on the comeback bid.
Coming Up
The IceHogs finish the road trip with a rematch with the Rampage on Tuesday night. Rockford then comes back to the BMO Harris Bank Center for a Friday tilt with Grand Rapids. Saturday night, the Hogs visit Rosemont for a game with the Wolves.
Follow me @JonFromi on twitter for thoughts on the IceHogs all season long.
Vegas pulls a Kano on the Hawks, throwing knives and ripping hearts out. It’s gonna be a long, cold winter. To the bullets.
– Certainly not one for Carl Dahlstrom’s highlight reel. You can easily blame him for all of Vegas’s last three goals, including the one where Shea Theodore pissed his entire name, including his fucking Confirmation name, in Dahlstrom’s snow. On Vegas’s goal at the end of the second, Dahlstrom confusingly backed off of Carpenter coming down the boards, giving Carpenter just enough room past the near-side dot to snipe the gloveside corner. On the game-tying goal, Dahlstrom was on the completely wrong side, forcing Murphy to try to over everything. Then on the OT goal, Dahlstrom was either flatfooted for simply too slow to keep up with Theodore, and the puck went off Dahlstrom’s stick through Delia’s five hole.
Dahlstrom and Murphy haven’t looked great together lately, and the reason is clear: Dahlstrom had his flash in the pan, and now he’s going back to the milquetoast Jared Dunn lookalike we always knew and were indifferent toward.
– On the plus side, Connor Murphy did look good for most of the game. Aside from a weak holding call in the second, he gummed up several chances from Vegas, especially in the third. Wouldn’t be surprised to see him line up next to Davidson or Koekkoek on Monday.
– Collin Delia once again did the best he could with what he was given. Vegas’s first goal is partially on him though. After stopping Nate Schmidt’s shot from the blue line, Delia failed to cover the puck even though he had his glove hovering over it like someone who has “Hooters photo op” circled on his calendar. Combined with Jokiharju getting pushed aside like the 19-year-old he is by Alex Tuch, it gave Tuch all the time he needed to post his 16th of the year. Hard to be mad about his performance otherwise.
– As Fels keeps saying, the Brain Trust and Coach Cool Youth Pastor are eventually going to have to tell Seabrook “It’s not us, it’s you.” Putting Jokiharju on his off side to accommodate Porkins isn’t going to help Harju’s development in any way, shape, or form, and it should not be considered again after tonight. Jokiharju had a 36+ CF% next to Seabrook and was often overmatched in his own zone. Asking him to cover for Fatso while on his off side is simply asking too much. If they’re going to fluff Seabrook for everything he’s done for them in the past, they should do it with someone like Murphy, who’s proven he’s up to the task. Having Harju with Seabrook is doing to destroy his development.
– On the plus side, Alex DeBrincat is now the one doing the fucking. His game-opening goal was an absolute masterpiece, and if you don’t believe me, just look:
He managed to tip Kahun’s shot out of mid-air and disrupt Flower’s timing on the stick sweep, then reached out as far as his 5’6” frame would let him and backhanded the puck in. You could hang that in the Louvre and it wouldn’t be out of place.
Then, he and Garbage Dick did what they’ve been doing on the power play. Kane drew everyone to him, leaving DeBrincat so embarrassingly open that Foley made the call before the shot came off his stick. The next time someone says RE-SIGN PANARIN, after you’re finished telling them to fuck off, show them the clip of that goal and ask “Why?” The Hawks have a younger, cheaper, more defensively responsible version of Panarin on the team right this second. As I am wont to say, thank fuck he’s 5’6”.
– Even though Kane’s original goal got called off because of Saad’s offside, there was a lot to like about everything that led up to that. First, Gustafsson made a crisp pass to Saad at the Hawks blue line, and then Saad kicked it out to Kane. Kane made just one too many hesitation moves for Saad to stay onside, which is something that wouldn’t happen if, you know, Saad were playing next to Kane regularly instead of the gigantic, useless obelisk that is Artem Anisimov. There was a nice fluidity to everything outside of the offside, and it’s something Colliton should look into.
– Because seriously, Artem Anisimov sucks. I challenge anyone to show me what he brings to this Blackhawks squad aside from the mental vision of a comically and barbarically large dick swinging like the pendulum of a clock that makes too much noise and can’t keep time. He makes plate tectonics look like something a premature ejaculator would critique as too fast. He took a hooking penalty late in the first, forcing the Hawks’s completely horseshit penalty kill to do what it has proven time and again it can’t do (they did kill the penalty, so hooray?). He contributed absolutely nothing. Dylan Strome does all the things he’s supposed to do, except better and for less money. If you can trade Manning and Rutta, you can trade Anisimov.
– If Erik Gustafsson ever decides to even feign defensive responsibility, he can be something special. His assist on Kane’s goal gave him an assist in eight straight games, something that hasn’t been done since Keith in 2013. He’s catching up to Chelios and Pilote in that little stat race, and while no one will ever mistake him for Chelios or Pilote, there is something there.
– Colliton opted to go with Kruger over Strome in the last seven minutes. Colliton is obviously a bright dude, but sometimes, you can’t help but wonder how much smarter he’d look if he’d stop trying to show us how big his galaxy brain is. You can argue that Strome had a team worst 25 CF%, but no one on the Hawks managed to crack 44% on the night. In that context, you can’t tell me Kruger centering Kane over Strome is a good idea.
The Hawks would have been lucky to win this one because they were so thoroughly thrashed throughout the night. But hey, it wouldn’t be Vegas if they let you come out with your shoes.
Onward.
Booze du Jour: Tin Cup & High Life: The Christmas gifts that keep on giving.
Line of the Night: “Was that John Scott?” – Eddie O., because John Scott is a gigantic joke whose presence you have to question at all times.
vs. 
