WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS???!!!!

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Game #69 and #70 – Hawks vs. Bruins: I Make A Lot Of Graphs

By Sam Fels March 10, 2018 1469 0

Game #69 and #70 Preview

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Game #69 and #70 – Hawks vs. Bruins: Lineups & How Teams Were Built

By Sam Fels March 10, 2018 1596 0

Game #69 and #70 Preview

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Friday Thoughts: Gustafsson, Rutta, And Last Night’s Pummeling

By Sam Fels March 9, 2018 2211 0

It’s been a couple days so we should get to it. Whatever your list is of grievances that you’d like to air by firing Stan Bowman, if you have one, you can add two more.

I’m sure the Hawks thought it would slip under the radar, and it kind of did because everything they do these days slips under the radar because almost all of the city doesn’t give a flying fuck about them anymore. Either way, the Hawks re-signed both Eric Gustafsson and Jan Rutta to extensions, and combined they will cost $3.5 million combined next year.

I’m going to try and be reasonable about this….

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS???!!!!

Now that that’s out, let’s get to it. There’s really no other way to dress this. Both Eric Gustafsson and Jan Rutta suck. They might not be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked, but they’re not far from the team photo. Neither one of these guys will ever rise to the level of anything more than a third-pairing d-man.

For literally no reason, Stan Bowman doubled Gustafsson’s salary. All he had to offer him was about 700K. Now, you might think the difference of about $500K really isn’t worth worrying about, but as we’ve seen, every dollar counts in a cap era, even if the cap goes up. And Gustafsson has shown nothing to warrant being offered much more than a pointed finger to the door. If he were going to provide offensive spark, we would have seen it by now. He’s 25 and basically never really flashed in the NHL. How much longer are you going to wait? And who was Stan bidding against? Who was coming to save Gustafsson from Chicago?

The Rutta one is even more baffling. He can’t regularly crack the lineup even after the trade of Michal Kempny, and yet you just hand him $2.3 million? What is it he does? Is Stan so fixated by the fact he’s been able to spasm six goals into the net and no one else on the blue line can find the right zip code with their shots? Again, what was Rutta going to get on the open market?

Here’s a list of UFA d-men you could probably get for $2.3 million this summer: Calvin de Haan, Cody Ceci, Luca Sbisa, John Moore, maybe Thomas Hickey, Dalton Prout, the aforementioned Kempny. Most of these guys suck, and yet all of them are better than Rutta.

It’s not like Stan hasn’t been able to admit a mistake. Fuck, he just traded Ryan Hartman and he wasn’t a mistake (and I’m fairly sure that trade is going to work out as having “sucked”). I have no idea why he’s doubling down on these two, but if it costs the Hawks a higher quality free agent this summer or a trade, it honestly probably should be the final nail in his coffin.

-I don’t think we can state long enough and hard enough just how pathetic the Hawks top players were last night. And you can toss out all the caveats you want–Canes are more desperate, they’ve always been a good possession team, blah blah blah–to have Corsi marks under 20% you actually have to try to do so.

I try and reserve myself about games where the Hawks haven’t looked like they care. Losing teams always look “flat,” or at least do most of the time. But the Hawks are a good possession team, or at least they have been. And for their top line and top pairing to simply get skulled by a team that doesn’t actually have a top line is simply unacceptable. You can’t say they were all there, or fully focused, to be that bad.

I can’t ask this team much more than to actually just show up and finish out the season professionally. Last night was anything but. That falls squarely on the leadership. They’re not going to fire Toews and Keith and Seabrook as captains, at least I doubt it. So you know where that goes. But I’m guessing Rocky and McD are too chickenshit to let that happen, nor do they have the scruples to replace Stan competently (which would involve probably firing Q anyway). So if the Hawks don’t care now, why am I going to assume they will next year at this time after another seven months of listening to a coach’s voice it’s becoming more and more apparent they’ve tired of?

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Game #68 Strong Men Also Cry – Hawks 2, Hurricanes 3

By Rose Rankin March 8, 2018 2131 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

My all-time favorite movie turned 20 years old this week, and seeing as Our Special Boy was the one to score the game-winning goal tonight, it seemed appropriate to recall this piece of wisdom from the other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire. To the bullets:

–The Hawks got killed in possession and shots tonight, so even those who played well (more to come on that) seemed like they had a dismal night if you just look at those stats (so don’t bother). We’re used to the Hawks dominating in those numbers while still managing to lose, but tonight they had a 37.5, 22.2, and 36.7 CF% in each period. Added to that, for most of the game the Canes had double or more than the number of shots that the Hawks did. The Hawks barely got to over half the amount of Canes’ shots, finishing with 24 to 40. Now, given the Canes’ consistency in giving up so few chances, I can’t say I’m exactly shocked by this. The fact that the Hawks only managed 24 shots but scored twice really drives home the point that Scott Darling has been quite bad.

–On that note, J-F Berube stole the show, and except for the one number that matters most, he led in every metric both qualitative and quantitative. I should point out that the first respective goals for each team couldn’t really be pinned on either goalie. Jurco tipped in a monstrous, classic Seabrook shot from the point, and a few minutes later Lindholm did exactly the same off Slavin’s own very Seabrookian shot. Redirects are tough to deal with. However, the second Hawks goal demonstrated what second-rate goaltending will get you. Sharp’s goal was all thanks to Duclair wresting the puck from under Darling’s pads, who then proceeded to completely lose his positioning which allowed a clumsily falling Sharp to put it in the open net.

Berube, on the other hand, finished the night with a .925 SV% after facing 40 shots. Williams just beat him one-on-one in the second, when today’s spotlight Justin Faulk sprung him the perfect pass as he left the box, and there also wasn’t much Berube could do on Aho’s power play goal off Finnish Jesus’ shot. All of this is to say that Berube’s positioning was far superior to Darling’s all night, and he had pretty saves throughout the game, with both the pads and the glove, which kept this from being an embarrassment. Notable among those were his stops in the third on Staal at point-blank range, and Skinner who, every time they said his name I just heard “Skinner, Skinner, faster than liiiiiightning…”

–Anthony Duclair had a strong performance, and I honestly was confused whether having Foley and Eddie say complimentary things about him during the broadcast was some kind of reverse-motherfuck, or if they were genuinely praising him and not following a script. This is how many strands are in old Duder’s head. But the point is, Duclair’s persistence in the crease led to the second goal, and he and Sharp had moments of chemistry. Granted, Duclair fumbled a pass at his feet when he had Darling one-on-one, and he botched a pass to Kampf in the same sequence. But, for being on the fourth line he was on the puck consistently, had a few shots and an assist. If you’re trying to work your way back up after a demotion, making Patrick Sharp look serviceable is a pretty nice feat.

–Of course Teuvo’s shot was the one that won the game. I know Aho is credited with the goal but it was yet another redirect. And it seemed destined to happen, but it still hurts.

The Hurricanes are fighting for a playoff spot, and with the exception of TVR, I can’t really root against any of the Parade of Former Hawks. So good for them, good for Our Special Boy, and good for Berube who still comes out looking decent from all this. Onward and upward.

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Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – March 8th

By Sam Fels March 8, 2018 1287 0

First Screen Viewing

Flyers vs. Bruins – 6pm

After getting their dick knocked in the dirt by the Penguins, in probably a pretty sobering preview of what might away in April or May, the Flyers head up I-95 to Boston to take on one of the other best teams in the league in the Bruins. The Bs are without their #1 center and #1 d-man in Patrice Bergeron and Charlie McAvoy, and yet they keep on rolling. Both Khudobin and Rask have hit something of a cold streak though so that might be the breaking point. The Flyers still need all the points they can get to avoid dropping out of the automatic spots or even out altogether. It’s that tight in the Metro. Also getting brained by two Cup contenders two nights in a row wouldn’t do much for morale. Then again neither does living in Philadelphia.

Second Screen Viewing

Jets vs. Devils – 6pm

The Devils find themselves swimming against the current as well in the Metro, as a Taylor Hall binge hasn’t been able to save them from dropping a few. They’re five points up on the Panthers but the Cats have three games in hand on them so it could get hairy in a hurry. Hairy in a hurry, he said. That’s funny. But the hockey world wants Taylor Hall in the playoffs. We need it. The Jets seem pretty entrenched in second in the Central, six points back of the Preds and six points ahead of the Wild. Geographical oddity that, six points from everywhere! Anyway, these are two of the faster teams in the league, so should be a good one for the 388 people in Newark who bother to show up instead of complaining about the snow, a New York metro area tradition.

Other Games

Avalanche vs. Blue Jackets – 6pm

Sabres vs. Senators – 6:30

Knights vs. Red Wings – 6:30

Rangers vs. Lightning – 6:30

Canadiens vs. Panthers – 6:30

Ducks vs. Predators – 7pm

Islanders vs. Oilers – 8pm

Capitals vs. Kings – 9:30

Blues vs. Sharks – 9:30

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Game #68 – Hurricanes vs. Hawks Preview, Reflexology Appointment – Mirror In The Bathroom

By Matt McClure March 8, 2018 2128 0

vs.

Game Time: 7:30PM CST
TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720
The Big Short: Canes Country

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Game #68 – Hurricanes vs. Hawks Spotlight: Is This All There Is, Justin Faulk?

By Sam Fels March 8, 2018 1829 0

Four years ago, Justin Faulk was something of a surprise inclusion on Team USA in Sochi. We got it, of course. He had been a young, dynamic puck-mover simply plying his trade in anonymity in Carolina, which as far as hockey coverage is concerned might as well be Narnia. While the Hurricanes have always been a metric-lovers delight under Bill Peters, for the most part Faulk had stayed above the team-rate and pushed the play the other way. It’s why you heard rumors of him being the name exchanged for Taylor Hall once upon a time, and he would have been a great improvement on Adam Larsson. Then again, so would dozens of players, but we’ve done the Chiarelli post before.

Now we sort of wonder if Faulk missed the point where he was supposed to take THE LEAP. And if it’s going to come around again for him to jump off.

On this Canes team, and last year’s, Faulk has essentially been skating second-pairing shifts. Brett Pesce and Jaccob Slavin take the hardest shifts in terms of both zone-starts and competition. They do the mine-sweeping. Faulk and rookie Haydn Fleury (and his missing “e”) or Noah Hanafin are next up. Everything is basically set-up for Faulk to mimic what Brent Burns does in San Jose, to at least be the poor man’s version of that (or the Carolina version, if you will. And you won’t). Simply slaughter the competition below the top lines of the opponent.

And yet, Faulk comes into this one with just 26 points. That’s not horrible, of course, but given Faulk’s skillset you can’t help but wonder if he shouldn’t be pushing 50 or 60 points when the season is over. And he’s never really come close to that. His career-year was three seasons ago already when he managed 49 points.

Faulk still pushes the play at a clip of 54% Corsi and that’s above the team-rate. But his scoring-chance percentage is below the team rate, and while some of that can be attributed to the growing pains of Fleury when they’ve been paired, considering they’re getting second and third lines you have to figure that should be better.

Faulk has also been undone by a 3.6% shooting-percentage, almost half his career-rate. And he’s firing more attempts than he ever has, and getting more scoring-chances per game than he ever has. Clearly bad luck is playing a huge role in this.

Which makes one wonder if a team couldn’t get Faulk this summer at a possibly lower rate than they should if they’re looking at those numbers. After this season, even if they’ll both be RFAs, both Pesce and Slavin are going to be due big raises. After next year so will Fleury. Elias Lindholm up front is due one after this season, and Teuvo is up after next. While the Canes have plenty of cap space, they’re something of a budget team, at least for right now, though that could change with their new nutcase owner. And they have to make room to find a #1 center, and probably a goalie if Scott Darling can’t find reverse on a Russian tank anytime soon.

So you know what we’re thinking. Justin Faulk would solve a lot of problems around this town, though what the Hawks have to offer is unclear. The Canes would certainly ask for Schmaltz or DeBrincat, and for the Hawks that might just be running in place. You can be sure the Leafs, Oilers, Canadiens, Sabres, and a host of others will be bothering Ron Francis at the draft if he puts Faulk on the market. Faulk has two years left on his deal that pays him a mere $4.8 per, so his value is through the roof. The Canes won’t get any more for him than they will this summer.

But is he the unlucky player who will start finding the net and assists with regularity next season given what his chances are? Or is he the one who just quite can’t break through? It’s probably worth finding out for someone.

Game #68 Preview

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Game #68 – Hurricanes vs. Hawks Q&A: The Creatures of Section 328

By Sam Fels March 8, 2018 1812 0

@Section328 are the hardcore in PNC Arena in Raleigh. They took off their facepaint long enough to answer our questions.

Let’s start with Scott Darling. Why hasn’t it worked out this season? And are the Canes going to give up on him or try again next season?

Great question. It truly seems like a confidence issue. We’ve seen Darling play some really solid games, but on more nights than we care to remember, he’d let in a soft or questionable goal, then it’s all downhill from there. His contract isn’t a total albatross, but with a new owner, we wouldn’t be shocked if they completely cut bait. We’d like to see him get another crack at it with another full offseason to prepare.

With Slavin and Pesce taking the hardest assignments, shouldn’t Justin Faulk be a little more of an offensive weapon seeing second-pairing minutes? Is this why he occasionally pops up in trade rumors?

You’d think so, right? Let’s just say he pops up in trade rumors more often than he’s an all-star defenseman worthy of being a captain of this team. We’re looking back at the rumor from a couple years ago of a trade centered around Justin Faulk and Taylor Hall with great sadness.

What’s the feeling about Bill Peters? We’ve always liked him, the Canes always have some of the best underlying numbers in the league no matter where they are in the standings, but at some point it he has to get a team to the playoffs, right?

We’ve always liked him too. He’s as Albertan as the day is long, but we feel he’s taken this team as far as he can. Every coach has their favorite players, but why Bill Peters insists on giving Derek Ryan featured minutes and Jeff Skinner is playing with Lee Stempniak and Phil DiGuiseppe is totally beyond us. Maybe Derek Ryan has some kind of incriminating photos of the coach?

His system is stifling the offensive creativity of guys like Aho, Skinner, and Teuvo The defense, while still good, hasn’t improved. If there’s not hockey here in late April, it’s time to part ways.

Ok…fine… we put it off long enough…tell us how much you love Our Special Boy.

Joakim Nordstrom?

He’s alright. OHHHH, you mean Taco Tuesday, Torso Tonguepunch, Teuvo Teravainen. Yea, we like him a lot, and we’d like to keep him for a very long time. Thanks for paying Toews $10.5 million until we believe 2033 so that we could have him. That’s very thoughtful of you guys!

Given the blue line, and the style of play, can the Canes make the playoffs and at least throw a scare into a top seed? Or will the goaltending and a lack of scoring punch keep them from both?

If we had to place a bet today, it wouldn’t be on the Canes making the postseason. That being said, we think this team would fare better in a seven game series than it would in any seven games against different teams. They play a “playoff-style” game already for whatever that’s worth, and we’re still waiting to see Jeff Skinner in a playoff game. But in the playoffs, you want a number one goalie to carry you to the promised land. Right now we don’t have that, we just have Cam Ward playing in perpetuity.

Game #68 Preview

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Game #68 – Hurricanes vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: Their New Jerry Jones Wannabe

By Sam Fels March 8, 2018 1745 0

One of the things the NHL probably wasn’t missing that other sports have is a self-involved, I’m-gonna-do-everything shitbag owner. Well, the Hurricanes have one now, and last night we saw the first moves in what will assuredly torpedo this team for the foreseeable future. And Tom Dundon was a shitheel before he ever step foot in the PNC Arena as well.

You may have missed it, because you probably don’t care about the inner workings of the Canes. And fair play to you. Dundon kicked GM Ron Francis upstairs, and now he’s going to sink his hands into the day-to-day hockey operations, no matter who he hires to replace Francis in the GM chair. You can be sure Bill Peters is going to eat it when the season ends, unless he somehow miracles a playoff appearance and might even have to make some noise when and if they get there.

Francis certainly made his mistakes. He’s invested too heavily in Cam Ward for too many years. He got burned by investing in career backups at the time Eddie Lack and Scott Darling, who simply weren’t up to the challenge of being starters (or in Darling’s case, just not yet). Francis has failed to find the Canes a #1 center. But he also put together this fabulous blue line they have, as well as draft nifty forwards like Skinner, Rask, Aho, Lindholm, and stealing Our Special Boy from the Hawks. He’s not a complete idiot.

And really, when has an owner making himself the GM ever worked? Jones hasn’t won a Super Bowl since he started constructing his own rosters. The one he got without Jimmy Johnson was still one with Johnson’s roster. Mark Cuban, shockingly a close friend of Dundon, didn’t get a title until he stepped back from personnel decisions. It’s hard to think of another. And it’s not like the Canes are so stable they can deal with an owner lighting the entire team on fire.

Beyond that, Dundon got his money by simply ripping off the most vulnerable in our society. He started out financing used cars to those who were likely not up for the loans, and cashing in on their late fees and foreclosures as they feared losing their jobs over losing their cars as they could no longer get to said jobs. All you need to know is right here.

Look, most sports owners get their money or protect it in sadistic ways. Just the nature of the thing. But Dundon seems the extreme in his wealth acquiring, and also thinks he’s a goddamn genius for doing so. And Canes fans are going to pay for it.

Game #68 Preview