vs. 
Records: CHI 1-1 WAS 0-2
TV: ESPN 7:15 CST
Radio: WBBM 780 AM/105.9 FM
Fun Fact: The Washington football team name is racist!
Welcome back, sports fans! It’s Week 3, and we’re all eagerly anticipating the arrival of the Chicago Bears offense to the fold. Come join us, dudes! It’s been a pretty fun season for plenty of other teams and I’d like to be able to talk shit to the Packers fan I work with. After a wild Sunday where all the other NFC North teams won, the Bears need a “Get Well” game for the boys on the offensive side of the ball to maintain pace with the relevant Packers, Vikings, and the somehow 2-0-1 Lions. There’s “Must Win” cliches all over this game, since the abysmal offense has written the team into a corner early on just like a Stephen King novel.
This should be the game the Bears really lock it in and turn up, ideally with a trip to Club Dub after a thorough thrashing of America’s least-favorite perennial cellar dweller. The Washington Slurs don’t have the “woe is me” luck of the Browns, the tailgate ECW homages of the Bills*, or even the “How could this get any worse?” vibes of the 2019 Miami Dolphins.
*If the Bills are ECW, that makes Josh Allen Tommy Dreamer, which I fuck with.
Mitch Trubisky has talked all week about how close the Bears offense has been to breaking through, and this soft Washington defense gives us all the chance to see how close they are. The Bears should carve up this awful team. Their offensive line is held together with duct tape, their defense couldn’t stop any sort of running attack, and their QB has been garbage his entire career, save the year he had two top-10 wide receivers and an outstanding defense. Simply put: this team is shit-awful. They come in 0-2 after blowing a lead in Philly, and getting smacked in the face by Dallas. They’ve given up 50+ yard touchdown passes in both games, and have put up a majority of their (admittedly decent) statistical output in the first half of week one and in garbage time in Week 2. Basically: this is a get-well game early on in the season, and the Bears must capitalize.
Is this the week when the offense shows us what it can really do? It’s a question worth repeating. They’re a joke so far, looking downright lost and vanilla even with the most impressive skill position roster I can remember in my 33 years on this Earth. Ideally, the Washington pass rush continues to look like a calm summer breeze and Mitch can sit back in the pocket and pick them apart. Honestly, I’m sick of worrying about the offense. They need to come in and drive the ball up and down the field in a dominant way. Even though the offense looked better in the first few weeks last year than the first few weeks this year, it took Nagy’s group until Week 4 to hang a 40-burger on a team that they should’ve blown out. Let’s hope it happens earlier this season, and everyone executes in a way that eases some of our collective fears.
The biggest story this week is the uncertain status of kicker turned folk hero Eddy Pineiro, who hurt himself in the weight room and is listed as questionable as of this writing. If he can’t go, the Bears have until the early afternoon to pick someone up off the street to play in this game. It’ll be tough to see him not play if that ends up being the case, but let’s be honest with ourselves: if the game comes down to the kicker, the Bears have already lost. There’s no excuses here: no “we didn’t play starters in the preseason so they’re just getting warmed up”, or “Vic knows our offense well so of course they didn’t play super well.” This is it, the team has no reason to not look like a well-oiled machine tonight.
The defense has played stoutly so far this year, but need to really step up in the turnover department. So much of what made the Bears successful last season was how much the constant pressure led to quick changes of possession and the dramatic flipping of the field. With an offense struggling, having a short field will help the offense get into rhythm.
Look for big plays on offense, a couple turnovers, and solid play all around from our beloved Bears. If this team is a contender, Monday night should be easy and boring to everyone who isn’t a fan of the Blue and Orange.
Prediction: Bears 31 Washington 17
