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Game #77 – Sharks vs. Hawks Q&A: Our Silicon Valley Reject

By Sam Fels March 26, 2018 1608 0

@ItWasThreeZero always answers our questions about the Sharks. We’d really like to think he has something better to do, but we and he know that he doesn’t.

Ignoring the fact that he’s a raging dickbag, what’s it been like on the ice having Evander Kane?

Kane’s off-ice history of sexual assault makes him an impossible player to cheer for but the on-ice results speak for themselves. With 7 goals and 12 points in 12 games, Kane has been the jolt of offense the Sharks expected when they traded for him and then some. They’d been looking for a Patrick Marleau replacement since the longest-tenured Shark signed in Toronto and at least on the ice they have one in Kane, another big fast winger who can score, kill penalties and fit in on just about any line.

Tomas Hertl has 10 points in his last 11. We’ve sort of been waiting for him to replicate what he looked like as a rookie. Is this it or just another hot streak?

Hertl’s talent level is always on display but the trouble with him over the past few seasons has been finding linemates he can click with. During the Sharks’ 2016 run to the Cup Final, those were Joe Thornton and Joe Pavelski but a need to spread out the offense more in Marleau’s absence has meant that’s a line Peter DeBoer hasn’t had the luxury of putting together very often this year. Over the past dozen games, Hertl has slotted in with Logan Couture and Mikkel Boedker on a very potent second line and it looks like he’s found linemates he’s comfortable playing with again.

Is Thornton going to play in the playoffs? What does it mean for his future as a Shark?

No one really seems to have any idea including Thornton himself. But given the fact he played in the majority of last year’s first round loss to Edmonton while both his knees were suspended in Jell-O, it’s going to take a lot to keep Thornton out of the lineup in late April regardless of whether that’s the most medically prudent move at this stage of the 38-year-old’s career. Even if he doesn’t return this season, there’s no indication Thornton intends to retire over the summer so I’m sure he’ll be brought back on a one-year deal with a more modest salary than this year’s $8 million.

How far can the Sharks go in the playoffs? The Pacific is something of a mess…

Their underlying numbers are still fairly middling but the Sharks have been generating a lot more offense in the 2018 calendar year even without Joe Thornton and Joonas Donskoi for much of that time, and despite a once 2^nd-ranked power play falling apart. If Thornton and Donskoi can be healthy in time for the playoffs, there’s no reason the Sharks can’t advance to the conference final. They match up against their own division as well as any team in the league. Of course they’re still the Sharks so a first round choke job against the Kings isn’t out of the question either.

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Game #77 – Sharks vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: Ruining a Good Thing

By Sam Fels March 26, 2018 2430 0

The problem with the NHL changing jersey manufacturers all the time, along with many others, is that they can’t seem to resist the temptation to fuck with things that are already working. Look at the Hawks’ collars now if you need evidence of that.

The original Sharks jerseys are nearly perfect, and should have been the template from there on out:

Simple, traditional, perfectly harmonious. A kick-ass logo, a good color scheme, matching stripes on the elbows and waist. Shoulder patches that are different than the logo. Why stray from this at all?

But it’s never that simple is it?

Then came the black alternates, which the Sharks used far too often. Black alternates is the fart joke to jersey design. It’s the simplest choice. Anyone can go to it. It’s boring, it’s been done. And the fact that the Sharks wore them in the playoffs is assuredly the reason they never won anything. You can’t wear your thirds in the playoffs.

Then this abomination:

Where’s the silver go? What the hell is the orange doing in there? Why the number in front? This is a band that’s trying to do too much in a song when it just needs a verse and a chorus. The shoulder patches are the same damn thing as the logo. It’s repetitive. It’s too busy.

And now the Sharks have this. Tell us, is this a Sharks jersey or a Dolphins jersey?

Same damn thing. And still this stupid fucking number in front. How hard is this?

We can go down the list of jerseys the NHL couldn’t help fucking with. The Flames, the Islanders for too long, the Oilers now, whatever the Canucks are doing, and on it goes. What a shame.

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Game #64 – Hawks vs. Sharks Spotlight: Martin Jones

By John Pullega March 1, 2018 1933 0

When success has a name as common as Martin Jones, it’s easy to overlook. But here we are, with Jonathan Quick’s former backup giving the Sharks a tenuous grasp on the second slot in the woebegone Pacific Division.

But it hasn’t been free roses for Jones all year. You may remember that there was something of a goalie controversy for the Sharks back in December, when Jones found himself swimming around with an 88+ SV% for the month. Much like the to-do the Hawks had after the 2015 playoffs—in which people yelled themselves hoarse for Darling over Crawford in an ethereal dance that simply never, ever seemed to end—the unwashed in the Bay brayed and spat for Aaron Dell to start. And start he did, only to prove why he was an undrafted pick up in the first place. BUT THAT’S NOT WHY YOU CALLED.

Since the December dregs—which those in the know think was a result of an undisclosed injury—Jones has gone on to post one of the better stretches of his career as a starter. After a mixed bag January that saw him post a shutout and a 43-save shootout loss among a couple of putrid attempts, including allowing three goals on six shots against the Coyotes and a five-goal shin-kicking against Colorado, Jones has caught fire in February, posting a 93.2 SV%. Over the last eight games, he’s only allowed more than two goals once, and that was in OT against the Wild. Over that stretch, he’s gone 5-2-1, and the Sharks have needed every bit of it as they try to ward off the Army of the Damned that is the Kings, Ducks, and Flames on their tails.

Yet, despite this hot February, Jones’s SV% sits at about average: He’s currently at 91.7%, whereas the league average is 91.4%. But it makes sense, given how wildly Jones’s performance has swung this year. He bookended his horrid December and below-average January with save percentages no lower than 92.5% each month.

Jones is the Hot Pocket of goaltenders: either ice cold or scathingly hot, never quite finished cooking, and only satisfying to those who consider gastrointestinal distress a virtue. Unless, of course, he’s playing the Hawks.

In eight career games against the Hawks, Jones has posted a 93.3 SV%, a 2.00 GAA, and a 3-4-1 record. All 16 goals he’s ever given up against the Hawks have been at evens, but knowing what we know about the Hawks’s constantly confounding PP, that’s hardly a surprise. As has been the word all year, the Hawks will have to look to attack him at evens if they want a shot at solving this league-average riddle of theirs.

To borrow baseball parlance, Martin Jones is about as close to a spot starter as you can get. But given the Sharks’s outstanding special teams play, that’s really all he ever has to be. At 28, he probably doesn’t project to get much better than the literal league average, which is just fine for regular season wins. But when the games really matter, average usually doesn’t cut it. And unless Jones can show some consistency in the stretch run here, which he has not been able to do on the whole this year, the average goaltender with the average name will contribute to the average finish the Sharks seem to fall into year after year, and Jumbo Joe will continue to pine after the one trophy missing from his mantle.

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Game #64 – Hawks vs. Sharks Douchebag Du Jour: Unfortunately Familiar

By Adam Hess March 1, 2018 1733 0

There is no pleasure in writing about an NHL winger named Kane who has had sexual assault allegations brought against him in the past. I certainly don’t envy the position Sharks fans are in here one bit – when the Hawks stood by Garbage Dick you saw it coming because you knew they wouldn’t abandon their star child and face of their franchise. He was already here and given his status you knew he wasn’t going anywhere. In some sense, you could understand it, no matter how much it made your skin crawl.

But I imagine there is somehow a more gross feeling when your team actually goes out and acquires an individual like this. It’s one thing to stand by a player you already have when he reveals himself as a fuckstick, but it’s entirely another to invite one a fuckstick into town knowing full well he is a fuckstick. And as we around here have experienced, trying to analyze and cover a player like Kane (take your pick which one I am referencing) is a delicate balancing act, and sucks a good bit of the fun out of doing this.

Part of that balancing act is just being able to break down the actual hockey of a player like this. Both Kane’s are good players, and hockey-wise this is a good move for a the Sharks to get Evander for their playoff push. But trying to engage in that side of it objectively when you feel negatively about them personally is really hard. Fear The Fin editor Sie Morley bravely and excellently articulates what her vision is for doing so, and I think her plan the right one. It’s pretty much the approach I’ve taken personally, and this blog has taken as a whole.

So welcome, Shark fans, to the club of fans whose teams have deciding selling their souls for hockey results is a defensible move. It’s fucking miserable here.

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Game #62 – Sharks vs. Hawks Spotlight: Brent Burns – The Ultimate Heat Check

By Sam Fels February 23, 2018 1794 0

Brent Burns is crazy. You knew this. You’ve seen the clothes and the beard, and it doesn’t really appear to be an act. Sure, it’s tailored for the cameras and Iphones, but one gets the impression he’d be this way anyway if no one was watching. Hockey has just given him a bigger platform.

Brent Burns is also crazy on the ice. One of the most remarkable statistics of this year is that Brent Burns, a defenseman mind you, leads the league in attempts per 60 at even strength. He’s tied with Vladimir Tarasenko. He averages 22.3 attempts per 60 minutes. You have to go down to 11th to find the next d-man, which is Yohann Auvitu. To find the next d-man who actually matters, you have to go all the way down to 37th for Johnny Boychuk. And he’s at 16.3 attempts per 60. Again, this is at even-strength. Again, this is a defenseman.

And this is not unusual for Burns. Burns led the league last year in attempts per 60. And again, you’d need a telescope to find the next d-man on the list. Burns was fifth the year before that. And this season he’s averaging more attempts than he ever has.

While it obviously doesn’t quite connect that if you lead in attempts you will score a lot, Burns’s uniqueness is what marks him out. He’s headed for another 60+ point season from the back, so you can hardly argue with the results. And it’s not as if Burns is just firing to fire. Burns leads all d-men in shots-on-goal, and by some distance. He has 247, over four per game. The next d-man on the list is Roman Josi at 202. It was the case last year, when Burns led all d-men in shots by nearly 100! Burns already has the first and fourth most shots by a blue-liner in a season, and if he doesn’t get hurt and continues at this pace this season will probably rank in the top three or four as well.

While it looks like Burns’s production has dropped off, and it has, it can be mostly blamed on a 4% shooting-percentage overall and 2.3% at even-strength. His career shooting-percentage would see him with 17 goals instead of the 10 he has now, and the chances he’s getting are of the same quality.

It’s such a unique weapon. Given how offense is produced these days, and how teams defend, if you have a d-man who can open himself up for shots this much you create all that furor in front of the net that result in most of the goals scored now. It’s not much of a shocked that all of one of Joe Pavelski’s goals have come with Brent Burns on the ice, given his usual proximity to the net.

Sadly, Burns may soon be toiling in obscurity if he isn’t already. We know he’s paid $8 million until the universe explodes. And what happens when Burns can’t get these shots off at this rate anymore? Burns is 32, and the fact that he can do this even now is really astonishing. You’d have to think in the next two or three years, the Sharks would have to find a way to get him into a bum-slaying role where he could still shoot this much. We know the end can come quick for mobile d-men.

The Sharks have all of Thornton, Couture, and Pavelski with expiring contracts this year or next. Burns is going to be around for the next iteration of the Sharks when they’re competitive. What he’ll be then is anyone’s guess. For now, he’s truly a phenomena.

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Game #62 – Sharks vs. Hawks Q&A: Some Punter From The Bus Station

By Sam Fels February 23, 2018 1635 0

@ItWasThreeZero seemed lost and confused and wandering around. We figured that was the best type to answer our questions about the Sharks. Just another Bay Area refugee who can’t understand the outside world.

First look we’ve gotten at the Sharks. Somewhat comfortable in second in the Pacific, and yet we don’t know if they’re actually good? Are they good?

At this point the better question might be “is anyone in the Western Conference good?” Nashville probably is but unless William Karlsson and Erik Haula are gonna keep shooting at Mike Bossy levels for Vegas, the Predators might be the only legitimate Cup contender in the conference. The Sharks are clustered alongside eight or nine other teams with postseason aspirations and it wouldn’t be a surprise if they finished anywhere from second in the Pacific to 11^th in the West and out of the playoffs.

The main issue with the Sharks is their lack of offensive firepower as most of their former high-end scoring threats are firmly in the “old as balls” and/or “signed a three-year contract with the Toronto Maple Leafs last summer” stages of their respective careers. That said this is a deep roster that can capably roll four lines even in the midst of key injuries and has eight NHL options on defense. Combine that with good goaltending and strong special teams and you have a solid if unspectacular team. That might be enough to make the playoffs and even a win a round or two in the West this year.

Kevin Labanc has 31 points this season. Is he a thing?

Labanc is the most recent late-round gem the Sharks’ scouting staff has unearthed and he fits the mold of previous finds like Joe Pavelski. He’s a smaller dude and far from an effortless skater but what he lacks in size and speed he makes up for with puckhandling ability, vision and a heavy, accurate shot. Labanc scored over 250 points in his final two OHL seasons and was a point-per-game player as a 20-year-old in the AHL last year getting his first taste of pro hockey. The kid is legit and seems to have a bright future as a middle-six scoring winger. He’s basically Kirkland Signature Alex DeBrincat.

Timo Meier is getting his first serious run in the NHL. We know there are high hopes for this kid. What have you seen?

Everyone knows the Sharks should have taken Mathew Barzal 9^th overall in the 2015 draft. What this answer presupposes is…maybe they shouldn’t have? Okay they definitely should have but that doesn’t mean their actual selection, Timo Meier, hasn’t been a valuable addition to the team. He’s a big kid who always showed a preternatural ability for generating shots in junior and that’s carried over to his nascent NHL career. He currently has the 20^th best 5-on-5 shot rate of anyone in the league (min. 200 minutes) and while his actual finishing ability could still use some work he should flirt with 20 goals this year, which is all you can ask for from a 21-year-old winger in his first full professional season.

Joe Pavelski only has 15 goals so far. Is this anything more than Thornton being hurt for part of the season? He is 33, is this the decline?

Pavelski has actually scored five of those 15 goals in the 14 games since Thornton went down with a knee injury so it’s not that. In fact, he’s played his best hockey of the season since being moved back to his natural position of center in Thornton’s absence. Some of his decline in production can be blamed on injuries he was playing through earlier in the year but the reality is Pavelski, like many of the Sharks’ key players, has probably aged out of his scoring prime.

He’s still a useful player but it’s likely he’ll never score 30 goals again and that’s something Doug Wilson has to plan around this summer. Pavelski is still a big name and it might be worth it to the Sharks to get some future assets for him while they still can. On that note it’s a shame the NHL didn’t send players to the Olympics this year because the whining from Toronto over Mike Sullivan or whoever giving Pavelski more minutes than Auston Matthews would have been hilarious.

The Sharks finishing second means they’ll probably see a pretty flawed team in the first round. They then could get Vegas or a wild card if the bubble bursts on the Knights. Could the Sharks simply fall upwards to a conference final?

It would be the most Patrick Marleau thing ever to play through 20 years of increasingly painful heartbreak with the Sharks only to have them turn around and fall ass backwards into a Stanley Cup the year after he leaves, thanks to a weak playoff field and Steven Stamkos’ leg falling off or something. Now I’m convinced this is going to happen.

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Game #62 – Sharks vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: Get Some Real Damn Names

By Sam Fels February 23, 2018 1981 0

At this point, we’re pretty sure Doug Wilson is just trolling the world, and when he gets to about the fourth or fifth round in the draft he just takes the dumbest name possible. Any kid who’s come through the Sharks system has had a dumbass name for what feels like 10 years.

Check out the current roster: Melker? Brenden with an e? Joonas? Barclay Fucking Goodrow? Where do you find these people? They even have a Timo, and we all know the only Timo allowed is Timo Perez and that’s only so Hawk Harrelson can yell at him. C’mon Timo!

This is long-standing tradition in the Bay Area, and maybe that’s why it’s happened. There are plenty of annoying people there with annoying fucking names and maybe the Sharks are just trying to appeal to their base. Mirco Mueller? Eriah Hayes? Hell, even Tommy Wingels needs the prologue of “it’s a name not a condition.”

We also have their dumb-shit beards with Thornton and Burns, and we can only hope they get tangled in each other in a playoff game. It’s like the Sharks are trying way too hard to convince you they’re weird and cool. Which is pretty much the whole area around them as well.

On second thought, just blow up the Bay Area. Wait, all we have to do is be patient and it’ll just go away, right? Yeah, ok.

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