Football

As the Bears prepare to face Matt Stafford on a short week…

With Matt Stafford out this week, Jeff Driskel will once again…

Making his first NFL start this week is done guy named David Blough…

Fuck it, no one know who is playing quarterback for the Lions this week and I wouldn’t be shocked if Scott Mitchell or Rodney Peete comes out under center on Thanksgiving.

The more interesting question is why Detroit always hosts a Thanksgiving Day game? I get tradition, but there are two reasons obvious why the city that time forgot shouldn’t be hosting any sort of national TV game:
1. The Lions almost always suck, which means its really never a good game, because either it’s a blowout or because like this year, both teams blow and the game is so poorly played, you’d almost prefer hanging out with your brother-in-law and talking about…work.
2. The city of Detroit shouldn’t and can’t have nice things. Detroit is a poor mans Buffalo, which is a poor mans Cleveland. You know you live in a shit hook place when the nicest thing the residents can say is how close it is to Toronto and Chicago.

My favorite joke about Detroit was the contest in which the runner up got two nights in Detroit, and the winner got one night. Shit writes itself.

People talk about what a great sports town it is and how passionate the fans are, but why then, aren’t these people showing up to support their teams:

Pistons

  • Currently ranked 2nd to last in attendance this season.
  • Ranked last in attendance last season.
  • Ranked 2nd to last in attendance in 2017.
  • Ranked 2nd to last in attendance in 2016.
  • Ranked 2nd to last in attendance in 2015.
  • Ranked 2nd to last in attendance in 2014.
  • Ranked last in attendance in 2013.
  • Ranked last in attendance in 2012.
  • Ranked last in attendance in 2011.
  • Ranked 3rd to last in attendance in 2010.

Red Wings

  • Currently ranked 18th in attendance this season.
  • Ranked 15th in attendance last season.
  • Ranked 10th in attendance in 2018.

Lions

  • Currently ranked 24th in attendance this season.
  • Ranked 16th in attendance last season.
  • Ranked 16th in attendance in 2017.
  • Ranked 11th in attendance in 2016.
  • Ranked 21st in attendance in 2015.
  • Ranked 12th in attendance in 2014.
  • Ranked 13th in attendance in 2013.

Tigers

  • Ranked 25th in attendance last season.
  • Ranked 22nd in attendance in 2018.
  • Ranked 16th in attendance in 2017.

What makes every single one of these numbers even more pathetic is that each of these teams are playing in what is considered “newer” stadiums.

But Brian, I came here to read about the Lions quarterback, not the city that was once Detroit. Yes, yes you did, so here we go:
Some guy named David Blough is probably going to start on Thursday. If you didn’t go to Purdue, you probably have never heard of this guy. Blough was undrafted this year, signed by the Browns, then traded to the Lions. The best part about getting traded from Cleveland to Detroit is that you wake up the next day and you are basically in the same city.

I can’t pretend to know how Blough will play against the Bears but getting de-virginized by Khalil Mack probably isn’t the most comfortable thing a rookie QB will experience. The Bears defense will scheme against system instead of individual personnel this week. It will be up to Chuck Pagano more than it has been this season to have the boys ready, as a loss to a David Blough led Lions team on national TV may be the straw that get some folks fired in Lake Forest.

I’m sorry you must witness these two teams play against each other; you will get eye-raped and it will not be pretty.

Bears 16 – Lions 0

Football

The Bears Offense Is Basically My Creative Writing Process – I’ll let you in behind the curtain a bit. From time to time, I like to dabble in fiction writing. Just to do something different, just to see if I can, just for myself. I have these big ideas, and occasionally one of them sounds pretty cool. And I poke around the edges, feeling like I might crack the case on a truly great story that might actually go somewhere one day. I come at it from different angles trying to find what will feel right. I prod, I rewrite, I ponder. But I never really get to the middle of it. Whether laziness or stubbornness or simple lack of talent, I just can’t quite bring to the page what I only have a loose grasp of in my mind. It never looks like it I think it should, even if I can’t actually state what that is clearly.

Maybe that’s why I identify with what the Bears have looked like the past few weeks so closely.

There are times when Matt Nagy and Mitch Trubisky look like they’re really moving toward what makes the Bears offense move. Whether it’s rolling him out, play-action, no-huddle, simplifying everything, the Bears actually get down the field. You saw it. There are big plays. People look open and Mitch looks decisive.

And then it just goes away. For whatever reason. Maybe a penalty, maybe one bad throw or bad decision, or sometimes just overthinking it and a constant telling of themselves, “You aren’t this you are something else so go back to your home, loser!” Or thinking it’s not creative enough and no one will care. And you saw that too, and you keep seeing it, with various pitches to receivers or RPOs or Tarik Cohen finding the next best way to run to the sidelines.

The Bears are inching, at an excruciating pace, to what would have made for an average offense. And it’s probably too late. Mitch has looked better, at an increment you can’t see without various tools, each week. But he only had one way to go. It’s sad, because even the meager total of 19 points every game would have seen the Bears with three more wins and not only in discussion for the playoffs but the division again. And 19 points isn’t even good!

Maybe both the Bears and myself have to hold ourselves to lower standards, and believe that through steady work we can crack open something. Or maybe I just like identifying myself in the ways I choose to waste my time.

I’m Sorry For Ever Doubting Khalil Mack And Am Terrified He Will Come Looking For Me – As you’ve probably guessed, from the very first half against Green Bay last year, Mack may be my favorite Bear of all time. There’s just something about a player who can make other people who are the best in the world at their job look so helpless. So maybe I was just disappointed I wasn’t getting to see him simply throw people out of his way like they were beaded curtains as often this year.

It’s hard to fathom that Mack went through a game like last week that he didn’t scratch anything on the stat sheet. Surely it was Chuck Pagano’s fault for not finding new ways to get him one-on-one. Or maybe it was everyone other players’ fault on the defense for not taking advantage of the wide berth he was giving them. Or, gasp, was it that Mack just wasn’t as good as we thought?

Pish tosh.

Mack has been facing two or three blockers every goddamn play, and without Akiem Hicks to Kool-Aid Guy his way through the middle of the line, the Bears haven’t been able to make that count. That’s not on Mack. And really, the Bears only need one or two plays from Mack to change a game. And they got one yesterday.

I’m sorry Khalil. Please don’t hurt me. I’ll never lose faith again.

Soldier Field Will Always Be Toxic – I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a team booed on the opening kickoff before, but I guess I can scratch that off the list after Eddie Piniero sent that kick out of bounds. After missing two field goals last week, he always was going to have a short leash. And I want to believe a lot were doing it out of humor, but I doubt that. Because when have Bears fans had a sense of humor?

I’m not saying a team should always be cheered when they play like garbage. And lord knows Bears tickets are expensive enough that when the product before the customers is that unwatchable at times, bile and ire are going to rise at a quick rate. But it feels like we’ve become the new Philadelphia, where fans are simply waiting for the chance to boo and are almost only there to do so and are becoming the show. It’s part of the identity now.

And it’s been this way for a long time. If Bears fans had earned any cred, maybe you’d go along with it. But this is the same group that makes as much noise as it can while the Bears are on offense. Who openly bitched about Lovie Smith’s defense and then spent years pining for it again. Turned on Jay Cutler about four minutes into his Bears career. Still thinks Mike Singletary was any good or should be coach now. Ditka.

Look, the Bears have deserved a shit-ton of criticism and booing this year, there’s no getting around that. But when it becomes the main objective, what are we even doing?

Football

 

vs.

 

Giants (2-8) at BEARS (4-6)

Kickoff: Noon 

TV: Fox 32

Radio: 780 WBBM

For your future’s sake
I’ve got advice I’d advise you to take
Don’t keep betting on it
“Well, it’s gotta light me up sometime”
You lost your turn

Matt Nagy is getting some emo treatment this week, at least from FFUD. The lyrics of Anthony Green spell out where I think a lot of the media, NFL sources and Chicago fans are at with Nagy: If you can’t stop trying to force whatever it is you’ve convinced yourself is the plan on offense, you’re not long for this job. You could also argue this fits for Ryan Pace as well; you’ve lost this season but you can still assess what’s worth keeping for the run in 2020 and beyond – if you’re smart enough. Even Chicago fans can take the quoted advice – Let go of the sky high expectations and accept that this ain’t it. Wait for your next turn.

Will that turn be in 2020? Nagy, Pace and co. will certainly say all the right things and plan for that, but it’s whatever that plan entails that holds the fortune for this current Bears GM/HC contingent. That starts this week at home against the New York Giants, a team still trying to find it’s own way throw a plethora of odd management decisions and draft picks. Pace can learn a lot by looking across the sideline/press box, mostly the pitfalls he should avoid as he moves forward to try and fix his own debacle of a team.

The Giants limp in losers of six straight, though they do tend to keep it close with other cellar dwellers having lost one score games to the Jets, Lions and Cardinals in that stretch. Rookie Daniel Jones has taken over under center and been mostly bad with a few highlight reel tosses mixed in…sound familiar? The Giants bypassed Quenton Nelson, among others like Roquan Smith, Sam Darnold and Bradley Chubb) for the opportunity to take Saquon Barkley second overall in 2018 and make him the true focal point of the offense. Barkley has been one of the best weapons in the league since, but it hasn’t translated to success for the Giants, especially in year two where the offensive line and pass catchers have let them down in a big way. The defense is even worse, ranking 27th or lower in all relevant defensive metrics. The Giants are a -12 in turnover differential with only the Miami Dolphins below them. Barkley can go for 150-200 yards easily, but if the team around him is this terrible, what was the point of spending the second overall pick on a Ferrari you can’t get outside your own neighborhood?

Dave Gettleman and the G-men did themselves no favors, dealing WR Odell Beckham Jr. and DT Olivier Vernon for next to nothing and letting All-Pro safety Landon Collins walk away for nothing. Collins situation was especially absurd, as the team could have tagged him, didn’t, refused to make any sort of passable contract offer to him and ended up pissing him off to the point that he sought out a deal in Washington so he would have the chance to play his old team twice a year. Yikes. They also dealt OBJ mere months after handing him a fat extension, costing themselves millions in dead cap space in the process. I haven’t even gotten to the odd coaching hire decisions and the bungling of Eli Manning‘s contract. The Giants are trash, on the field and off it.

The Bears, at 4-6, are not going to make the playoffs. They’re not going to have a first round pick in April, either. Pace can’t do much about either of those things right now, but what he can do is work with his Head Coach and make sure that they’re giving reps to the players they need to make decisions on in the near future. Mitchell Trubisky remains the great mystery box, at least to Pace/Nagy. Many in the league and the fan base have given up on Trubs (including yours truly), but the fact is they still have six games with which to assess the young signal caller. Nagy has argued, with some pretty favorable, timely quotes from Chase Daniel, that Mitch has absolutely been better the last two weeks. Some have stated the choice to pull Mitch at the end of the Rams game was more about sending a message veiled as being all injury related. The stats are a little uneven, but a strong outing against a bad Giants team to follow up the disgusting offensive display at the Rams last week would do Mitch and Nagy a lot of good.

There are players all over the roster that need assessing as well, and the scrutiny is going to start coming in the form of analysis like “You’re going to need to see more from (insert player on a rookie deal) on a play like that to keep him in the fold” from pundits and the media alike. “I’m not sure if you keep (veteran on a deal that can save the Bears more than the dead cap hurts) if these are the types of efforts you keep seeing from here” should also be pretty prevalent. The good news is that the Giants present an opportunity for a lot of these guys to start making compelling cases as to why they deserve another deal or to keep the one they have/get new money. The list of players with something to prove is a bit larger than a year ago when off season business was kept to a minimum – Eddie Jackson, Leonard Floyd, Tarik Cohen, Allen Robinson, Roy Robertson-Harris, Nick Kwiatkoski, Nick Williams are all playing for new money; Prince Amukamara, Taylor Gabriel, and Eddy Pineiro are just trying to keep their jobs; ANY offensive linemen and tight ends are playing to earn a shot at all.

I guess I haven’t really gotten into any X’s and O’s of what these two teams might try to do this weekend, but I also don’t really know that they know what the hell they’re going to do. Neither has managed sustained success in any facet in 2019, but both have plenty they’d like to point to and prop up as “the Future” of their franchise. For Chicago, that needs to start with a passable display from Trubisky and the offense and some steady play and added pressure on the young QB Jones (looking at you, Khalil Mack) from Pagano’s defense. A loss, or even another terrible day of paltry offensive execution, could spell real doom for Nagy and Pace and a bunch of players up and down the roster. It could also be the spring board to some encouraging results in tough matchups to close out the season. Here’s to hoping Nagy takes the advice.

Prediction: Bears 22, Giants 17

Football

Tony Martin: Today’s matchup post is going to look a little different than usual- since this year has been anything but normal, we are having to seriously discuss how to spend our Sunday afternoons. I just started a new job, I’m still in grad school, and I still play in multiple bands- that time of the weekend would be perfect to spend it on anything other than shitty football that I’m emotionally invested in.

Yet I know for a fact that I’ll be parked on the couch this Sunday, watching the lifeless Bears play against the Giants. I’m not sure if I’m watching to see if they have something to prove or if I do it out of sheer tradition. I feel like if there was a Dawn of the Dead style zombie apocalypse, instead of lurking to the mall you’d find my dead ass sitting on the couch with a half cashed bowl and a LaCroix within arms reach of my rotting arms, waiting for the Bears to come on.

What do the Bears have to prove over these last few games? Is this just a talent evaluation process by now? It could be. I’m thinking they need to assess what options they have at so many different positions- both sides of the line, tight end, linebacker, kicker, and the defensive backfield. At this point, let’s see what this team has going forward. A lot of what Pace and Nagy should be focusing on where the holes in this leaky sink are coming from, because even though Mitch is the most glaring problem, the reason we are where we are is deeper than bad QB play. If Kyle Orton can win games as a starting QB, so can Mitch, but the franchise needs to build and play to his strengths. A great game plan can help mitigate a lot of deficiencies if done right.

This team absolutely has a playoff core, but Pace/Nagy need to spend the offseason figuring out what the identity of the franchise actually is and then building towards it. The end of last season covered up a lot of the problems with this roster from an identity standpoint on offense. They had a bruising running back and then a scatback, an all-star caliber wide receiver and a bunch of undersized speedsters, and a tight end that was not worth the money. All they did was replace the running back with a much better prospect that fits the offense, but they get away from running as soon as they fall behind, even if it’s by something as small as a first half field goal. Now might be the time to find those things to build upon, but it’s going to be boring as shit from a fan perspective to see it.

To wrap this part up, I’ll tell you what I’m looking for as the Bears play us off (insert Bill O’Reilly impression here):

-Is there an NFL-caliber tight end on the roster?
-Is Anthony Miller consistent enough to warrant a spot as the starting slot WR?
-Which defensive linemen could create pressure on their own in the absence of Khalil Mack?
-Does Leonard Floyd still play for this team?
-Eddie Goldman somehow has a grade of 74.3 so far from PFF- how much of 2018’s 88 rating from PFF was aided by the presence of Akiem Hicks?
-Do the Bears look to extend any of the following players: Danny Trevathan, Haha Clinton-Dix, Aaron Lynch, Nick Williams, Nick Kwiatkoski, or Roy Robertson-Harris?
-Are the Bears interested in taking a harder look at Javon Wims or Ryan Nall?

 

Wes French:Tony, I have to admit – If there is a Dawn of the Dead style scenario, I’d like to come find that couch and help you finish off your party favors. Barring a Hollywood situation on Sunday, though, I think I’m checking out on the Bears for a week.

It’s the Sunday before what’s basically a holiday week – yeah, I’ve got to work a few days at the beginning, but am I REALLY working? Fuck no. And the fact the Bears don’t really seem to be working the last month+ makes me unsure about investing another 3-4 hour block of my weekend, especially against a putrid trash heap like the New York Giants. I guess this might be the BEST time to check in, since the Bears should be able to get a W against the rookie-QB led G-Men, but the last time we had that narrative was all of two weeks ago against Detroit and that game was about as entertaining as a wet fart. Plus we’ll get that same wet fart four days later, bright and early before we’re all stuffed.
Am I interested in another slog between trash teams trying to sort out how exactly to best use the players they employ? No, no I’m not. Tony outlined plenty to look for in terms of WHY you may want to check in to this game on Sunday, and beyond the Bears sorting themselves out for a hopefully more spirited run in 2020 I could see you being mildly interested in who this Daniel Jones character is playing QB for NYG and wanting to see the sometimes electric Barkley do what he does. Outside of those two, the Giants have nothing to hold the interest of anyone but the diehards in the Big Apple and even those dummies are probably on to other things by week 12 of a 2-8 season. The Giants are pretty terrible and deserve no one’s attention, and in the immortal words of Local H – And Fuck New York, Too.

So what else should you be doing on Sunday? I’m going to play hockey and casually catch a nice dose of Red Zone with NINE noon games. Why the NFL can’t sort themselves out enough to have a better division of games through the day (there are only TWO late afternoon contests, but one is DAL @ NE) remains a mystery, but I digress. There are some strong teams on bye this week (KC/MIN), but while the schedule at first glance looks like a mirror of Bears/Giants, I’d say we’re in for a noon slate of some wild football with goofy fun matchups galore: 
– SEA @ PHI: The best game on paper at noon, Seattle looks to keep the Eagles down as they chase the 49ers for the NFC West/#1 seed. The Eagles are maddening, but always capable of a breakout performance and still have a shot at their own shitty Division
– TB @ ATL: Human Turnover Machine/Piece of Shit Jameis Winston goes into Hotlanta, quietly one of the best defensive units in the league since Week 5; I’ll guarantee at least 3 INTs and a DEF TD
– DEN @ BUF/ OAK @ NYJ: On the surface, the Bills and Raiders should cruise, but the Broncos have proved a difficult out and the Jets are scoring in bunches of late. The Bills and Raiders also remain the Bills and Raiders, so place those bets cautiously
– PIT @ CIN: A once fierce rivalry reduced to Mason Rudolph against Ryan Finley. I’ll be honest, this one excites even less than the Bears, but it does produce a decent opportunity for the Bungals to get their first win…it could totally be worse, Bears fans
– CAR @ NO: This sees two teams heading in wildly opposite directions, with the Panthers looking like they might be onto their third QB of the season and just about dead in the NFC at 5-5. Saints are aiming for NFC’s top spot. Divisional games can be weird, though
– MIA @ CLE/DET @ WSH: These two matchups pit four of the leagues worst franchises (of late, at least) against each other, and while on the surface the matchups look shit you should NEVER discount a game between the worst of the worst. How will Cleveland respond after the brawl to end last week’s game? Can Miami make it 3 wins in 4 after starting 0-7? Will the Lions continue to be the tonic that aids young/under-performing QBs for Dwayne Haskins and the Racial Slurs???
TUNE IN TO FIND OUT
Football

Our Coach/QB Axis Of Confusion – This probably should be one. And it’s basically all we’ve talked about for the whole season, but where else do you start?

I don’t know that Sean McVay is any more of a genius or idiot than Matt Nagy. Something tells me they’re of the same cloth, and the Rams season is likely to spin out of control after this anyway. And I’m fairly sure Jared Goff sucks too. But I guess that means they’re both working with the same thing.

Which made last night’s developments all the more infuriating. Because it looked like McVay had an actual plan, even if it was conservative as all fuck. They were going to run the ball, run it some more, and keep running it, if only to keep it out of Goff’s hands as much as possible. And McVay probably knew that the Bears would shift to that 6+1 front to stymie the run, which they did. And yet he remained patient.

He could do that because Nagy’s offense never got away from the Rams or forced him to have to chase the game, but McVay also knew that when the game was on the line, he could take all that had come before and react off of that to get the one touchdown he would need to win the game. So with the Bears in that same front, the Rams finally went to play-action and suddenly Goff has some pretty simple open and easy throws to make. And it didn’t even matter that his best was called back to an illegal formation. How open was that? And then they went down the field anyway.

When has Matt Nagy ever had a consistent plan like that? When has he ever just said, “We’re gonna do this until they make an adjustment, and then we’ll counter that?” Or has it all been “We’re gonna do everything on every drive?” You know the answer. So do I.

We see the Bears do something that tends to work–I-formation, no-huddle, rolling Mitch out–but it never lasts more than a drive or two. The Bears don’t wait around for the move to stop it. They just assume it’s coming and try to change before it does. But they always end up changing back to something that doesn’t work (hi there, option play on 3rd-and-1 with a possibly injured QB!).

It’s a metaphor I go back to far too much, but watching Matt Nagy I’m reminded of how Chuck Klosterman described how Axl Rose writes songs:

But Rose is the complete opposite. He takes the path of most resistance. Sometimes it seems like Axl believes every single Guns N’ Roses song needs to employ every single thing that Guns N’ Roses has the capacity to do—there needs to be a soft part, a hard part, a falsetto stretch, some piano plinking, some R&B; bullshit, a little Judas Priest, subhuman sound effects, a few Robert Plant yowls, dolphin squeaks, wind, overt sentimentality, and a caustic modernization of the blues.

Matt Nagy’s offense has to do everything, even when it clearly has neither the QB or the offensive line to do so. The Bears need simple. One thing, then a counter. They need basically Tim Duncan’s early career post-game. McVay was content to do that last night. Nagy never has been. And this is what you get.

The other thing is McVay revamped his offensive line that had been leaky all year. I don’t know if that’s available to the Bears given the talent level, and they sort of tried that with flipping Daniels and Whitehair back between guard and center. But it’s definitely not a plus in Nagy’s category either.

It’s Ok Mitch, A Lot Of Careers Come To An End In LA – I have to imagine 75% of being a quarterback sucks, unless you’re one of like the five good ones in the world. You’re the only player, in any sport that I can think of actually, that has to have your own press conference after every game and during the week. You know your whole team is looking at you from the moment you show up. No matter how good your focus is, you have to be somewhat aware that an entire fanbase/city is basically judging your entire self-worth on how you play, even if things within your own team are working against you.

I don’t think Mitch got a lot of help last night. The receivers had a few killer drops. His o-line still sucks, though they held up mostly ok last night even with that Mad Titan Aaron Donald around. His coach won’t accentuate the things we think he does well. He may be hurt. The overarching issues aren’t his fault either. He didn’t trade up to draft himself. He didn’t choose to be taken ahead of Mahomes or Watson, something he can do nothing about and that he’ll never live down. His skills are his skills. His coach’s and GM’s inability to read those correctly aren’t really his fault either.

But what I can’t get past, and really haven’t been able to all season, is the big plays he misses. That’s what keeps everyone from living with the mistakes. The miss to Anthony Miller is a touchdown. Miller would still be running. That would have put the Bears up 7-0 and really erased the worries over the kicker. He missed Braunecker on another that would have gone for 30-40 yards. There were two others where Robinson and Cohen had their men beat but he was going for back shoulder throws that were a good 5-10 yards behind them. The INT was just an awful throw.

You make those throws, or even most of them, and the Bears win. You can’t miss the big plays when they’re there, because they don’t come around that often, especially with this line. Fuck, two of them and the Bears probably win.

Maybe it’s confidence. Maybe a Mitch feeling himself hits those. Maybe. I don’t know that we’ve ever consistently seen it. And you can go back and find more. Gabriel in the Chargers game stands out. And maybe it’s harsh to say just three more throws and the Bears are 6-4 right now with at least a chance of something.

And maybe that’s how thin the line is that takes you from being a good QB to a bad one. But in a league built this much on parity, maybe all the lines are that thin. But at this point, it’s clear which side Mitch is on.

I Blame The Defense Because I’m Lashing Out – It’s hard to get past the Bears defense giving up a game-winning drive in pretty much every loss this year late. The only one that wasn’t was the Packers. They got bailed out in Denver.

But y’know, 17 points surrendered is enough to win. It should be. The defense is still good, and if those drives that lost the game came in the second or third quarter, we probably wouldn’t notice as much. And if you had an offense, those drives in the 4th would be in vain anyway.

Pagano even changed his plans last night. He went to that special front to thwart the running game that had been killing them earlier. Was he slow on the uptake on the final drive with the play-action? Maybe, and he had to know that was coming. But there’s only so much you can do.

Still, he hasn’t found a way to get Khalil Mack loose. Chris Collinsworth mentioned night how Wade Phillips was bringing extra heat if only to get Aaron Donald one-on-one. When has Pagano done that? Khalil Mack can’t go through a whole game without being noticed. And eventually, the excuses of being doubled or chipped, or having the running game go away from him, or being schemed outside more and more are tired. Make a play, or more to the point find a way so that he can put himself in position to do so. Just one sack last night would have made a huge difference somewhere in there.

But again, we do this because we’re simply tired of bitching about the offense and coach. They got the turnovers last night. They got the three-and-outs. An average NFL offense wins that game going away. It’s been that way all season.

Football

vs.

RECORDS: Lions 3-4-1   Bears 3-5

Kickoff: 12pm

TV: CBS 2

THAT DORK LOOKS LIKE JAM: Pride Of Detroit

Do you get the impression the Bears would rather play on the road these days? A home date with the Lions should be a joyous occasion, and it usually has been in the past, but considering the air around the Bears and the suddenness with which Soldier Field can turn toxic, you really feel like the Bears had better score on their first drive or it’s going to bet poisonous in a hurry. They might be booing at the pregame tailgate. Mitch Trubisky pointing at the TVs screaming, “DEATH!!!” isn’t going to help the cause much.

So the Bears will have to turn it around against what’s normally their favorite punching bag, and really everyone’s favorite punching bag. Luckily, the Lions contain some things that could really help the Bears if they’ve conditioned themselves during the week to change. Sadly, they also contain the Bears destruction within them as well.

First the good news. As my father would say, “The Lions defense stinkums.” They’re 27th in rush yards against per game, 31st in pass yards per game against, 27th in sacks, 27th in interceptions, and 27th in points against. So yeah, you’d think with the lack of pass rush and the lack of ballhawks and the lack of linebackers total, the Bears could actually find something they could do successfully against this outfit. Whether that’s lining up in the I more often and simply running the ball, or getting to play-action off of that, or rolling Mitch out where he’s clearly more comfortable, the Lions offer a fucking buffet of things you can get to them through. Then again, the Chargers were dressing their bus driver as a d-linemen and the Bears couldn’t crack that code until late. So no guarantees here.

The Lions defense has had various problems, including health in the secondary, but this chart is pretty telling (stick-tap to Jeremy Riesman at PoD for linking it):

Brain genius with birds living in his beard, and probable rapist, Matt Patricia hasn’t been able to get any pressure from his front four and they haven’t brought much heat either to try and make up for that. So maybe the Bears offensive line can hold up against this? And give Mitch time? Which won’t cause his eyes to drop to the rush? And maybe he can just pick-and-stick some guys in the open spaces? Am I asking too much? I probably am, aren’t I? More pissing in the wind, YAY!

Of course, it’s not that simple. On the flip side of the ball, Matt Stafford is playing at a ridiculous level, which Brian laid out here. I suppose the good news, if there is any on this front, is that he’s done his best work flinging the ball deep, which is something the Bears have given up next to nothing of this year. The plan against them has always been to get it out quick to avoid Khalil Mack ending your world, and the hope would be if Stafford and the Lions insist on taking their shots that Mack and Leonard Floyd (brief flickering signs of life last week) and others can get to Stafford to either bring him down or force errant throws. Then again, Stafford’s been so good at this he might be able to find the shots others haven’t. Then it could be trouble.

But hey, more good news. The Lions can’t run the ball for shit. Have they ever? This is just like the Lions condition, right? Like the Bears and quarterbacks? The Hawks and power plays? It’s just something they’ll never do. Anyway, Ty Johnson is averaging barely 3.5 yards per carry, and they don’t even go to him much as he’s gotten over 10 carries just once this season since he took over for Kerryon Johnson, who’s on IR with knee-knack. So whereas the Chargers and Eagles and Raiders and oh fuck let’s just stop it here pretty much ran it up the Bears giggy, that’s not something the Lions are built or even motivated to try.

The things is though, the Lions are a couple inches from being 5-2-1 or even better. The refs screwed them over in Green Bay. They had a last-second loss to the Chiefs. They probably should have beaten the Raiders last week. So they have just as much reason to look at the Bears and think they can get healthy against them as the Bears do looking the other way. Other than Mack, who will be heavily watched, Stafford is the best player on the field and is capable of winning this on his own given the right breeze.

Still, the Bears are basically built to not have a quarterback beat them. Yeah, sure, the defense hasn’t gotten the big stops they’ve needed the past two games, and even Denver drove right down the field against them in the 4th. But a lot of that was predicated on rushing attacks, which the Lions just don’t have. And does Stafford really have the patience to five- and six-yard outlet his way down the field? He might, but you have to feel there’ll be a shot or two that Eddie Jackson or Kyle Fuller can get their hands on.

So if they can keep Stafford from going power cosmic, you have to believe the Bears offense will find SOMETHING against this team. Maybe not 35 points something, but like 24? Detroit has given up 23 or more points in every game save one. The fucking Giants hung 31 on them. If Daniel Jones can go for 322 yards against this collection of lost souls, surely Mitch can have at least a decent game? Right? Right?!

This is it for the Bears, this next month. They get the Lions twice and the Giants, and a Sunday night in LA. Win those three and sneak some weird victory out of the Coliseum (where they come to see ’em), and the season isn’t lost. Hell, just take the three you’re supposed to and you’re 6-6 with at least something to hope for in December. But it has to start with one. If you can’t get this one, it’s pack up the cats time.

Football

vs.

RECORDS: Bears 3-4   Eagles 4-4

KICKOOFF: Noon Sunday

TV: FOX

BRING BACK THE KELLY GREEN, DOOFUSES: Bleeding Green Nation

If it wasn’t bad enough the state of the Bears right now, Sunday is going to be filled with the kinds of stories and headlines that broadcasters love to reach for and beat into a pulp because they’re so easy. A playoff game from the previous season. Former players against their former teams. Struggling QBs. Questions over another kicker. You’re going to hear all of it Sunday, and probably by the time the second quarter starts you’ll be ready to go Elvis on your TV. And that might not even have anything to do with the actual play on the field. Then again, it might.

The Bears will roll into South Philly just about as big of a mess as they’ve been in…well, it’s really only been two years. They don’t know what they do on offense. They don’t know what they can do on defense at the moment. The special teams remain horrible. Their coach might actually be going Colonel Kurtz. And playing an opponent in similar straits didn’t do much for them last week. This time, they’re on the road.

The Eagles have some of the same problems, but they have the gloss of a Super Bowl and at least a passable defense of it still shining somewhat, at least buying everyone some time. Their quarterback at least needs it.

Carson Wentz went through some offseason character assassinations, some of which stem from him not being at the helm when the Eagles were achieving the business end of their success the past two years. There’s no Nick Foles now to lob up wounded prayers that no one can seem to get their hands on except those clad in green (still think Eddie Jackson would have won that game last January, and this is about all I have to hold onto now), so it’s all on Wentz. Our own Tony Martin documented how Wentz has been a bit all over the map this season.

Still, the Eagles have done a very good job of protecting Wentz, much better than Nagy has done with Mitchell. The Eagles have ramped up their rushing attack as the season has gone along, and they rank third in the amount of times they run the ball on first and second down in close games. Which is where NARRATIVE #1 comes in, and that will be Jordan Howard. He has steadily improved as the games have racked up, and with some Bears fans and media still befuddled at his trade and the Bears inability to get David Montgomery on track outside of last week, you can bet this is going to be harped on consistently by whatever meatbag is in the broadcast booth. If it’s Thom Brennaman again, he’ll probably be in a Howard Eagles jersey.

And as we’ve seen, the Bears haven’t exactly been a Spartan phalanx against the run this year. Which means Chuck Pagano is going to have to come up with something, which might leave the Bears even more vulnerable to some big shots to possibly returning firework DeSean Jackson along with shorter throws to another old friend in Alshon Jeffery and Julie Ertz’s husband in the seams. Fun times.

On the flip side of the ball, it’s once again a balance of whether the Bears catch a break in that they won’t face a hellion of pass rushers or the Eagles absolutely jonesing to get a look at the Bears offensive line. The Eagles have been pretty good against the run, which means Mitch is probably going to have to make some throws and you’re already hiding in the bathroom with a bottle of Old Crow and a shotgun. The Birds went heavy on man-coverage last week in terrible conditions in Buffalo against Josh Allen, daring him to make accurate throws in the wind. It’s not their usual forte, but there’s also no reason to think they won’t double up on that given that the entire league, country, world, and possibly a few alien civilizations feel that Trubisky can’t hit a bull in the ass with a banjo when the chips are down.

Which means we’ll get a whole lot more stories and narratives about last year’s playoff matchup, and how the offense let the defense down, how they missed a kick to win it, how Trubisky didn’t make enough plays in the first half to win the game, and how perhaps something broke that day with this team that has yet to heal.

All that said, it’s not like the Eagles secondary has been great, they’ve taken the ball away just about as much as the Bears have (i.e. not enough) and Allen Robinson should be getting open a lot of they’re going to insist on man-coverage a ton. Let him make the plays.

For no reason whatsoever, this feels like a game the Bears are going to win for no reason whatsoever. Other than football can be truly stupid, I guess. Everything points to the Eagles winning. They’re at home, they won last week, and they have the voodoo signs of last year. They seem to have found something of a formula for themselves last week in running the ball, which is ahead of the Bears. However, this is the Eagles and they’re always capable of throwing in a clunker, as evidenced by them getting crushed by the Vikings and Cowboys back-to-back (though both were on the road). But they’ve also lost to the Lions at home.

For the Bears, the season very well might be gone already so calling this a last stand is probably not accurate. Still, a loss here could very well send this team to oblivion, especially a bad one. A win with a home game against Detroit waiting at least allows everyone to keep breathing for a time. And I think we all want to believe last week was bottom. If it wasn’t…well, I already told you about the Old Crow and the shotgun.

*Glass Breaks*

“Oh my god that’s DJ Yung Milwaukee’s music!”

*Air Horns*

Fels-

Imma let you finish (oh wait you did), but I’ve got some piping hot takes I’d like to toss in here, because like Randy Orton on Monday night, I gotta wait until minute 19 of your 20 minute match to waltz in and hit you with an RKO to give you a DQ win. 

I think your last couple paragraphs are super telling, because you’re right- the Eagles sometimes lay an egg, but these Bears are Mancow from those Eagleman commercials: they have already crashed the car on which the egg is laid. The Eagles could play a stinker and beat the Bears, similarly to how the Packers, Chargers, and to a lesser extend Raiders all played poorly enough to lose but had the Bears nobly snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. 

The key to beating the Eagles defense is through the air, because as you mentioned they have a fairly stout run defense. Naturally, this doesn’t play to the strengths of the Bears offense. The key to beating the Eagles offense is to make them one-dimensional, which also would require a strong start offensively. The projected game script doesn’t favor the visiting team, but as last night’s 49ers/Cardinals game proved, a QB with decent mobility that can step up and away from the pass rush can make the big play if the blitz loses contain. The only hope I have that this is a possibility is how crisply Anthony Miller was running on Sunday, and there is certainly a chance he can break off a route and turn a busted play into a big one, which will inevitably end with him being tackled on the 5-yard line and the Bears settling for three points. 

While I’m here, you’re partially right in your assessment that Eddie Jackson puts the Bears over the edge, because while that might be debatable, if both Jackson and Bryce Callahan were playing that game ends differently for sure. Jackson hasn’t had the opportunity to make his signature breaks on the ball since this year’s pass rush is lacking, and Buster Skrine isn’t really blowing minds as a replacement for Callahan. 

This game has “letdown” written all over it, but hey we’ve been let down since London so why worry? I’m more interested to see what Nagy does now that the season is getting away from this team from a play-calling perspective. This team is on the verge of being dangerous because they have nothing left to lose.  

 

Football

Matt Nagy Is The Weirdest Combination Possible – I’m not sure how a coach can both be as far up his own ass as Matt Nagy is that he probably came back around again and also coaching scared all the time. They don’t seem to go together at all, but Nagy has managed it. “Be You” means so many things now.

Let’s get to the top story right here. The end of the game, why are the only results in Matt Nagy’s head are a run for a loss, fumble, or incomplete pass? Why do you just assume that you can’t find one or two plays that you know you can hit to give you just five yards? There’s gotta be something you can just go to.

They’d actually run the ball. You can’t line up in the I-formation and get a few yards? And if you’re so convinced the Chargers are going to know you’re running, you really don’t have a play-action fake with that rollout and the tight end and receiver behind him that every team runs in the holster? That’s a play where even Mitch can probably figure out if I can’t complete this, I can just throw it into row three. Simple stuff, every team runs it, and those yards would have made a difference.

But that didn’t lose the game all by itself. Nagy actually adjusted and ran more conservative formations to run the ball kind of effectively. But then being up his own ass gets in the way. You get to the goal-to-go, and suddenly he has to be Matt Nagy again. Five receivers from the four. A screen to Cordarelle Patterson we all saw coming, including the Chargers. RPOs. Tough reads. Things the Bears haven’t shown they do well. He’s got to do it his way. The one touchdown they got is when they just lined it up and let Montgomery just run the fucking thing in there.

Nagy got out of his comfort zone between the 20s, actually running simple run plays. Play action off it. But when it mattered, Nagy was too scared to stay out of his comfort zone, and went back to what he wants to work. What he thinks has to work. But it doesn’t, and he’s the only one who doesn’t see that.

He coached scared as the Chiefs OC. He coached scared in the playoffs last year. He’s coached scared this year, all while convinced he has all the answers. I don’t you know how you do both. Pick a lane.

It’s Rex All Over Again – There comes a moment with every Bears quarterback who shows any promise or has any billing, where you realize it’s just not going to happen. It’s like my father said about horse racing, “There comes a moment in most races where you say to yourself, ‘I’m gonna lose here.'” A lot of people are long past that with Mitch Trubisky. I’m there now, mostly because I just didn’t want to keep doing this for my entire life.

Mitch has some obstacles. He only started one season in college. He came to the pros into a mess of a team, and basically everything he learned his rookie year had to be thrown out. His coach very well might be a madman who doesn’t know what he can and can’t do. He’s battled injuries. Fine.

But Mitch can’t make the throws. That Taylor Gabriel miss… you can’t miss that. That’s the game. Second tier QBs hit that. He’s not accurate enough to be the cowboy he wants to be. Not being able to move a safety with his eyes, that’s baseline skill stuff. If you don’t have it you don’t have it. You can scheme all you want, but if Mitch misses too many throws that are open, what does it matter?

The thing is if the season is truly lost, and I think it might be, the rest of it probably should be used to see if there’s anything to be salvaged with Mitch. There’s really no other option. Even if it’s just to pump up any value if you decide to swap him out. You know where the Chase Daniel road ends.

I Don’t Want To Hear The Defense Talk Anymore – Yeah yeah, 17 points surrendered is more than good enough to win. They got a couple short fields thanks to Mitch. Whatever.

One sack. One turnover. Up 16-7, and you let aged Marmalard march it down on the field on you. Melvin Gordon drags Eddie Jackson some five yards like a grocery bag. When the Bears have needed a big stop all season, they haven’t gotten it. When the defense could win the game, they didn’t. They let Joe Flacco march it up their ass. Derek Carr got to as well. Now Rivers. Aaron Rodgers is one thing. This is another.

At some point Chuck Pagano is going to have to figure out something else. I don’t know if becoming Blitz-burgh Reincarnated is the answer. But Khalil Mack isn’t getting home through either three blockers or quick passes. Leonard Floyd is at the Kerry Wood Memorial Zoo. Maybe we should see if Roquan or Trevathan can bring it a little more often. You need more turnovers. You need more sacks. The defense isn’t getting them. There’s too much talent on the field for this, even without Akiem Hicks.

Of course, the real question might be can Matt Nagy hold together a team when the defense mutinies. If he keeps coaching scared, I’m fairly sure I know what the answer is.

Football

I had some friends over for the game, and as Eddy Pineiro’s last second kick hooked left, there was no anger. No rage, no Youtube-worthy TV smashing, no nothing. I think this level of numbness is part of the basic experience of being a Bears fan, this existential cloud that hangs over moments like today’s loss where we say to ourselves, “I knew he was gonna miss it”.

This game was gift-wrapped to the Bears by a vastly inferior Chargers team, with multiple end-zone drops, missed field goals, and drive-extending penalties. The last sequence before the end of the first half, with three defensive penalties awarding the Bears first downs in the red zone should have been a decisive score. Taylor Gabriel had a linebacker beat on a 4th quarter go route that Mitch overthrew, missing a sure touchdown. Naturally on the next play Mitch lost the ball and Los Angeles recovered.

That two play sequence exemplifies the 2019 Bears: even when they catch a break, they can’t catch a break by capitalizing on it; and before you can lament that missed opportunity, they do something even worse. This one stung, friends. This was still a winnable game, in spite of the Bears lack of offensive panache. They had three trips inside the Chargers 10 and came away with 9 total points. Eddy Pinerio missed a 33 yard kick earlier in the game. The Bears were in Pinerio’s range TWICE in the last three minutes and came away with zero points, after the second to last drive ended with a Trubisky sack taking the Bears out of field goal range.

I can’t write an entire article without mentioning how great it looked to see the Bears commit to the run, and how explosive David Montgomery looked. There was even a Mike Davis sighting! 162 team rushing yards is something to be proud of, especially for a team like the 2019 Bears. The run blocking looked better than it has all year, and the balance really opened up throws for Mitch. Anthony Miller looked great, creating separation and running deeper routes with ease. Mitch looked comfortable taking deep shots on the two free plays he got after drawing the Chargers offsides. It’s weird, I had no idea that having a good run attack might help set up the pass…?

Matt Nagy used the I-Formation a few times after mentioning it in a presser earlier in the week, and it looked good. I appreciate the Bears bringing in an extra lineman on a few plays and using J.P. Holtz as a fullback since he’s on the 45 man active roster and, well, idk I like seeing a power run game. I guess I am turning into my dad after all.

The defense looked good, with Kyle Fuller coming up with a great interception that he almost took to the house while Chris Spielman kept calling him Kendall. Khalil Mack came up with a crucial 4th quarter sack, and the team did well save for a few nailbiter deep shots that should’ve been touchdown catches but were dropped. Of the two touchdown drives they gave up, one was on a short field after a turnover and the other was a long Chargers possession when the Bears did their classic “we’re up by more than one score so we’re gonna play a soft zone” defense that I’ve seen my entire life.

Playoff teams win that game. Playoff teams score touchdowns in the red zone, playoff teams hit open receivers and playoff teams make field goals.

Ugh.

Football

vs.

RECORDS: Chargers (2-5) at Bears (3-3)

KICKOFF: Sunday, 12:00pm

TV: FOX 32 

Radio: WBBM 780 AM/105.9 FM

Is it possible for both teams to be looking at the same game as a “get right” matchup? Sunday at noon we’ll find out which of these teams is worth saving, and which one needs to start “assessing the talent on the roster” (tanking). The Los Angeles Chargers show up to Soldier Field on a three-game losing streak, and the Bears come in losers of their last two, but really let’s be honest the Bears don’t look like they could beat the bye week so let’s just say both teams are damn near on tilt. Barring huge turnarounds, this game (which looked like a great matchup six short weeks ago) will have zero national attention and no relevancy to anyone but fantasy football players. That said if you have any Bears players on your fantasy team who aren’t Allen Robinson, you should quit fantasy football (as I glare at David Montgomery on my bench).

Something’s gotta give, right? Looking strictly at DVOA, the Bears on offense are -12.5%. That’s bad. The Chargers on defense are 12.1%. That’s also bad. The Chargers are 22nd against the run this year, the Bears are the 28th ranked rushing attack in football. I’m picturing one of those electric football games to take place when the Bears offense is on the field, in fact it might be an improvement if it was. At least during electric football the margin of error is so big you couldn’t blame the offense for being hot garbage.

Brian Baldinger (he of the amazingly disfigured pinky) had an outstanding Baldy’s Breakdown video of a Bears run that I think encapsulates the problem. In the video, a shotgun run up the gut with Tarik Cohen, Baldy shows how Nagy’s jet motion brings the DB into the box that ends up going unblocked and stuffing the run, when otherwise there’s nothing but green grass in front of the diminutive speedster. Can Matt Nagy scheme his way out of a wet paper bag and embrace the run, or is this game another seven rushing attempts game? Will Joey Bosa destroy Mitch Trubisky? Can the Bears contain the one Bosa brother I actually LIKE rooting for?

The answer is going to depend on how well the Bears defense and special teams play. Remember when the defense was getting to the quarterback, stopping the run, and forcing turnovers? Last year seems so far away right now. The Bears are getting turnovers, but have been exposed by Jon fucking Gruden by all people. Teams know to run away Khalil Mack now that Akiem Hicks is out. The linebackers are getting blown up on the second level, and the defensive backs are playing more on their heels instead of jumping short routes. The Chargers have the blueprint to beating Chicago, and Chuck Pagano hasn’t adjusted.

The special teams is so bad. So, so bad. Sherrick McManis is still in concussion protocol as of this writing, so punt returner Desmond King has the chance for a big day, assuming the Bears punt protection holds long enough for Pat O’Donnell to get a kick in the air. He was only credited with one block last week against New Orleans, but it should’ve been two; and the Bears starting defense was brought in against the Raiders to stop a fake punt and couldn’t do that either after a running into the kicker penalty moved Oakland up, a sequence that eventually cost the Bears the game. A good punt and kick return over the last two games doesn’t negate the pisspoor blocking and kick coverage.

Keenan Allen is a stud at wideout, and if the Chargers are trying to get Melvin Gordon back into form they’d be wise to run him early and often. The team has rushed for 106 yards over the last three games COMBINED, and a goal line fumble by Gordon sealed their fate last week against Tennessee. Mike Williams and Hunter Henry are also outstanding players, even if Henry is basically a slower Evan Engram and Williams is almost exclusively a jump-ball threat.

Oh, and Philip Rivers is still around, somehow. The man has been the starting QB for the Bolts since 2006, which was three Presidents, like 18 children, and countless bolo ties ago. His 11 TDs to six picks this season looks a lot more impressive than it really is, considering most of it has come via checkdowns. Let’s find out if the Bears can stop Austin Ekeler and Keenan Allen from dominating with the short routes that make everyone look good statistically. Rivers is basically the upgraded Jay Cutler, with constant temper tantrums and meltdowns on various sidelines over the years, but if the Bears had Rivers during those early 2010s teams, Chicago would have at least one Super Bowl trophy.

Since around November 2nd 2016, Chicago sports has begun to worship the hallowed “players only meeting”. The Bears had one of their own this week, which is either a total indictment of Matt Nagy or just what they need to right the shit. Yeah I know that’s a typo, but if you’ve been watching this team you know why I’m leaving it in.

Final Score Prediction:
Chargers 23 Bears 6, and Virginia McCaskey comes down from the luxury box and fires Matt Nagy, making herself head coach. The Bears win out the rest of the year.