Everything Else

As You Were – Hawks at Blues Preview, Dog And Pony Show

By 1431

evil empire at bluestrumpet_jersey

Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Literally A Fucking Radioactive Trash Pile: St. Louis Game Time

Because literally nothing John McDonough and Jay Blunk do is on accident or by coincidence, the NHL’s quiet announcement that they have concluded their “investigation” of Patrick Kane and have predictably found nothing calls into question a couple other media blips over the past 24 hours.

First, yesterday afternoon the geniuses running the Hawks’ social media department thought it was important to include Patrick Kane and his mother in a tweet acknowledging International Women’s Day, which is insulting and disgusting. And today it leaked that Sports Illustrated will be doing a (regional) cover story on just how much Garbage Dick has had to overcome this year on his way to being the league’s leading scorer and a Hart Trophy front runner. Because John McDonough is very good at his job, these events are not to be viewed as anything other than deliberate and connected.

And the purpose of it is potentially two-fold. At the very least, with any bureaucratic loose ends now tied up with the conclusion of the NHL’s farce of an investigation, which allows McDonough and Blunk to start building a ground game and controlling a narrative ahead of what they figure to be a bright and direct spotlight once again on this team into May and June. The second more stomach-churning purpose is for a potential Masterton Trophy nomination, the NHL’s perseverance award for which every team submits its candidate. It would be a tremendously nauseating and ballsy move on their part, considering recent winners include a widower, a bereaved father, and an MS sufferer. But John McDonough is known for big moves after all.

[extremely sportsy radio host voice]….just like tonight’s big rivalry night tilt in St. Louis between the Blues and Hawks!

Everything Else

Let It Snow – Avalanche vs Hawks Preview, Dental Cleaning

By 1265

Avalanche Snowman Christmas vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:30PM
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
Rocky Mountain Oysters: Mile High Hockey

While the Hawks’ schedule at first blush would indicate an opportunity to get right over the next couple weeks while facing teams behind them in the standings, things don’t always end up playing out that way. Especially against the Avalanche who visit tonight, who continually have given the Hawks problems over the better part of this decade.

Everything Else

Welcome To Wherever You Are – Hawks 3, Jets 1

By 1331

Box Score
Event Summary
War on Ice

Well that looks a bit more familiar. While some of the components of the roster are odd fits in their given lineup spots at best or not NHL players at worst, the Hawks were at least able to do something that they weren’t able to last year, and that’s beat Michael Hutchinson in regulation, who gave the Jets what they needed last year with a 3-0-1 record against the Hawks.

Everything Else

Recipe For Hate – Hawks at Kings Preview, Leftover Feast

By 1326

evil empire at king

Game Time: 9:30PM Central
TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
Fountain and Fairfax: The Royal Half, Jewels From The Crown

Tonight the Hawks will conclude their annual November two-week displacement from the United Center at the hands of Sirs Barnum and Bailey on Figueroa against the Kings, who are taking a novel approach to their regular season by at least cultivating the image that they give a shit about it. But much like their visiting counterparts, they still do not give a shit about women or human decency.