Everything Else

Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Team Previews: A Division-Less Boudreau Is No Boudreau At All

By 1345

The Wild suck so hard that they’re the only team Bruce Boudreau hasn’t coached to a division title when he’s had a full season behind the bench. And really, if you don’t get that basically meaningless bauble out of our favorite Haagen-Dazs slathered bocce ball, then what’s the point at all? You’re still going to get a coach with both hands around his own throat in the playoffs but not to get to raise a silly banner aloft. Well, the Wild probably aren’t going to win the division this year, and they’re probably not going to get out of it in the playoffs. It’s almost if Brucey is now just in an abyss of meaninglessness. Which is how most people feel about the state of Minnesota.

Minnesota Wild

’16-’17 Record: 49-25-8  106 points (2nd in Central, out in 1st round to STL)

Team Stats 5v5: 49.3 CF% (20th)  50.5 SF% (14th)  52.6 SCF% (3rd)  9.2 SH% (1st)  .925 SV% (11th)

Special Teams: 20.9 PP% (9th) 82.9 PK% (8th)

Everything Else

Trying To Find A Balance – Wild vs. Hawks Preview, Daylight Savings Spring Ahead

By 1330

 vs 

Game Time: 11:30AM CDT
TV/Radio: NBC, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Makes No Sense At All: Hockey Wilderness

Late season, weekend matinee games suck out loud regardless of the two teams involved. The thought process behind having them is clear, with both college and pro football shuttered for their respective seasons, and baseball yet to move north from Arizona and Florida, there is a void that can be filled by the Winter Tenants for viewership when there’s really only Law & Order: SVU reruns on elsewhere. But the vast majority of hockey games are played at night, and professional hockey players, like all athletes, enjoy their ya-ha time after a game and generally keep later hours. There is always at least a 24 hour break going into them so it’s not totally cutting into physical recuperation the way Thursday Night Football does, but circadian rhythms are still fucked with, and now past the deadline there are many teams who are just playing out the string. Couple that with the overall quality of the league due to a flat salary cap, and it’s left an absolute dogshit product on the ice on par with Thursday Night Football by any absolute or relative measure. And on top of that Daylight Savings just kicked in, so now two teams who at least on paper who are still jockeying for the top spot in the Central and the West, are effectively facing off at 10:30AM local time, all for the sake of courting viewers that the NHL is never going to grab. Nice work everyone.

Everything Else

Minimum Wage Is A Gateway Drug – Hawks at Wild Preview, Night Sweats

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 at 

Game Time: 7:00PM CST
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Makes No Sense At All: Hockey Wilderness

And so it is now here, the most important regular season game in the history of the sport…at least until the next one. The Wild are still playing .900 hockey and have three games in hand on the Hawks, and a regulation win tonight should effectively salt the division away for them, and there’s nothing more that Bruce Boudreau likes than the taste of salted divisions. And the entire hockey world, such as it is, will be watching, as this is the only game on the docket tonight.

Everything Else

These Aren’t The Droids You’re Looking For: Wild at Hawks Preview/Bonfire

By 1248

 vs. 

RECORDS: Wild 27-9-5  Hawks 27-13-5

PUCK DROP: 6pm

TV: NBCSN

ANIMALS STRIKING CURIOUS POSES: Hockey Wilderness, Gone Puck Wild

PROJECTED LINEUPS

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Wild – 49.8 (18th)  Hawks – 49.8 (17th)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Wild – 54.2 (2nd)  Hawks – 47.2 (26th)

POWER PLAY %: Wild – 19.5 (13th)  Hawks – 18.8 (14th)

PENALTY KILL %: Wild – 84.6 (6th)  Hawks – 76.3 (28th)

Repeat this to yourself, because it’s important: There are no big games in January.

We’re sure the Wild are using this as some sort of exam. The Hawks have been doing this contender thing long enough to know that it doesn’t matter. However, after getting their ass rubbed in the moonshine by the Capitals, the Hawks probably don’t want that to snowball into anything worrisome. So they won’t be completely disinterested tonight, or at least you’d hope not.

Everything Else

Stuck In The Middle – Wild vs Hawks Preview, Tree Lighting

By 1205

wildthings vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN (National), WGN-AM 720
Labour Issues In The Toy Department: Hockey Wilderness

As the broadcast will assuredly punish the listening audience with 7 million reminders of by puck drop, the first game back at home after a road trip is always a TRAP GAME. And it’s even moreso of one by some moronic logic because the Wild have lost 6 of 7 coming into tonight. Or it could just be that they’re just perpetually mediocre.

Everything Else

You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having – Hawks at Wild Preview, Mail Merge

By 1291

evil empire at wildthings

Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Commit This To Memory: Hockey Wilderness

Before beginning the preview in earnest, first a public service announcement for Halloween weekend.

Under no circumstance is going out in black face acceptable. Yes, it’s 2015 and it’s fucking preposterous that these statements have to be made, but such is the state of affairs. And it’s a particularly gross trend among hockey players. It is your responsibility as a human being to tell anyone even thinking of doing this that it’s a bad, at best colossally ignorant idea. Do not be like these assholes.

hawksblackface

raffi torres

tyler bozak

Everything Else

Kick Your Door Down – Game 4 – Hawks at Wild Preview, Pregame Thread, Asphalt Resealing

By 1282 0

oldschool vs wildthings

Game Time: 8:30PM Central
TV/Radio: NBCSN, SportsNet (Anglo), TVA2 (Franco), WGN-AM 720
Blood Makes The Blade Holy: Hockey Wilderness

Mark it 2-9 in road Game 3’s now. On Tuesday night the Hawks won their first road game three since 2010 in the second round against Vancouver, and even in that series it was to take a 2-1 series lead. And now for the first time in the Renaissance Era the Hawks have the opportunity to end a series unblemished on opposition ice.

Everything Else

Fortune Teller

By 1609 0

Editor’s Note: This ran in last night’s print edition.

Now in year seven of the Joel Quenneville era of Blackhawks Renaissance, the Hawks actually find themselves in slightly uncharted territory. Not only is this the first time that they have been past the first round for three straight years in the post-expansion era, but the Hawks are trying to eliminate the same team three straight years for the first time ever, with their most recent opportunity having been thwarted by  Alex Burrows and Chris Campoli.