Everything Else

In Touch With Some Reality Beyond The Gilded Cage: Hawks 1 – Leafs 1 (Hawks win Stickball)

By 1346

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

The Hawks tried something new tonight. After getting decked on the shot-board the past three games and asking Crawford and Darling to go Barnum and Bailey to get them two points, they methodically controlled the Leafs, who of the past four opponents contained the most high-end finish and thus could have made the Hawks pay for their wayward ways. Although this time the Hawks were trailing early, and thus had to chase a bit until Hayden equalized.

A third period that saw both teams go for it early and then look at each other and say, “You good with overtime?”, gave way to an exciting if not artificial OT where Hartmania ran wild on the Leafs, faking out Andersen from the circle to beat him to the stick side. And with that, the Hawks are now five points up in the division, thanks to their best March under Joel Quenneville.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

Doing 180 On The Don Valley Parkway – Hawks at Maple Leafs Preview, Mandatory Family Function

By 1779

 at 

Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, CBC, CITY, WGN-AM 720
Jeff Veillette and Steve Glynn Are Terrifying: Pension Plan

Sure, the Hawks have improbably vaulted themselves into basically a game and a half lead in the central as they close out their eastern Canadian swing tonight in the Dark Center Of The Universe that is Toronto, but they haven’t done it the right way. They take on too many shots, even though that’s a result of having leads, they capitalize on power plays, and they do so while paying players more than their entry level contract. All of these things are instantly disqualifiers for actual success, which is truly indicated by how much cap space a team has at the end of the year, thrown into a pivot chart against their possession stats and 5v5 goal differential, along with some other stupid fucking stats Steve Burtch made up in a craven, desperate, and pathetic attempt to get hired. And naturally, the Leafs are succeeding by all of those measures, and all the good stuff is because of Kyle Dubas (who shielded sex criminal players on the junior team he was GM for), and all the bad stuff is because of Lou Lamoriello. This is how Maple Leafs hockey works.

Everything Else

Great Caesar’s Ghost – Hawks at Senators Preview, Full Synthetic Oil Change

By 1501

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Game Time: 6:30PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Justin Trudeau Is A Fucking Con Man: Silver Seven

Given that the Hawks have been hockey monarchy for going on a decade now, with President/Cardinal John McDonough fancying himself its emperor, it’s probably best that they missed being on the Senate Floor in Kanata on the Ides of March by a day. Either way, the Hawks make their way further due southwest along the St. Lawrence seaway to the “capital” of the “nation” of Canada to take on a Sens squad that shockingly still has plenty to play for.

Everything Else

You’re A Big Man But You’re Out Of Shape: Wild 2 – Hawks 4

By 1334

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

I’ll admit to having been a touch worried about Corey Crawford lately. It was starting to look a bit last year. In both seasons, for the first half of the campaign Crow was asked to perform miracles and paranormal phenomenons to keep the wolves from the door. Last year, under the weight of all that he faded at the end, and was only good in the playoffs which wasn’t good enough. We don’t know yet if this year will see the same fade, but of late he just hasn’t been as good as he was earlier in the year. He’d strung four great starts together, but then there was Detroit–where he admittedly didn’t have any help either. And it’s kind of what we’ve seen from Feb. 1 on.

Today was definitely vintage Crow, which gave his teammates the platform to capitalize on the opportunities they did create. And there’s your difference. The Hawks finished theirs because of their greater top-end firepower. Kane, Panarin, and Hossa on the scoresheet. The Wild didn’t. And this is almost certainly how it will go in May when these two teams see each other again.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

The Sound Of My Ceiling Fan – Hawks at Predators Preview, Secret Menu Order

By 1368

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Game Time: 7:00PM CST
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Get The Red Out: On The Forecheck

In what is looking more and more to be the case as games tick off the schedule, this will be the last meeting between the Hawks and Predators until Game 1 of the Western Conference Playoffs. And with both teams apparently locked into their respective positions within the division, tonight in Nashville and here on out remain about getting healthy and tightening up play more than about results.

Everything Else

Cosmopolitan Bloodloss – Islanders vs Hawks Preview, Passport Renewal

By 1261

 vs 

Game Time: 7:30PM CST
TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
You, In Weird Cities: Lighthouse Hockey

There are Long Island residents in town tonight on somewhat of a roll recently, and it’s not Jeff Rosenstock playing the Metro tonight, although anyone interested in the robust LI hardcore and post-hardcore scene would do well to go to the show rather than watch the game, or at the very least pick up Rosenstock’s excellent record Worry. which topped about a zillion best-of lists in 2016. But that digression aside, the Islanders are at the UC tonight in desperate need of points after a comeback win last night in Dallas.

Everything Else

Meet The New Boss – Blues vs Hawks Preview, Rough Draft

By 1396

 vs 

Game Time: 6:30PM CST
TV/Radio: NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
Dexter Fowler’s Biggest Fans: SLGT

Now that the Mike Yeo era began a little quicker in West East St. Louis than most outside of this outlet anticipated, the Blues still find themselves at a crossroads organizationally. This is still basically the same group that Ken Hitchcock couldn’t do anything with, and now that the Blues have fired their fourth of the four winningest coaches of all time, they’re left wondering if it’s at all worth going through another one-and done playoff visit, being essentially locked into their current playoff position. And of course that mean bringing their usual brand of bullshit into the UC tonight.

Everything Else

Beautiful Garbage: Yotes 3 – Hawks 6

By 1401

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Coming into this one, you had a feeling it could get weird in some way. Not unlike heading into Exit on a weekend night. The Hawks had labeled the Yotes once at the UC, and then played out some absurdist shit out in the desert where the Hawks were clearly trying to get out with two points with the minimum amount of effort and let the Yotes back into it constantly. It’s a wonder Crawford doesn’t wield a butterfly knife at his defense on nights like this, because Darling never sees this kind of negligence.

And tonight fit the bill, as the Hawks pretty much scored at will but also couldn’t locate a fuck to give in their own zone if it had blinking lights and an airhorn on it for the first 20 minutes, if not 40. But against what is basically a hybrid NHL-AHL team, you can do that. Especially when Mike Smith is looking for the Phantom Tollbooth.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

The Voice Of Many Colors Sings A Song That’s So Bold: Hawks at Wild Preview/Manicure

By 1267

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 36-18-5   Wild 39-13-6

PUCK DROP: 7pm Central

TV: CSN Local, NBCSN to the “others”

IN THE WOODCHIPPER: Cold Omaha

PROJECTED LINEUPS

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Hawks – 50.9 (12th)  Wild – 49.9 (21st)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Hawks – 48.7 (19th)  Wild – 54.2 (2nd)

POWER PLAY %: Hawks – 19.0 (16th)  Wild – 21.9 (4th)

PENALTY KILL %: Hawks – 77.1 (28th)  Wild – 82.9 (10th)

The Hawk and Wild will continue their preamble tonight to their almost assured second round meeting in the playoffs. While the Hawks will make noise about giving the Wild “something to think about,” the gap is almost certainly too much. It’s definitely too much with Doobie Brother playing as well as he is, because there’s just no way the Wild are going to drop enough points to make any Hawks nuclear streak matter. And it’s hard to envision how either of these teams trip up in the first round, whatever Bruce Boudreau’s faults, because the Blues, Preds, and whatever swamp thing emerges as the bottom wild card haven’t shown anything close to being a threat.