Everything Else

They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but in the case of the Tkachuk family, I think it’d be better to say that the shit doesn’t flow far from sewer. Keith Tkachuk was often a shithead and an occasional committer of the dirty hit/play. He averaged 1.85 PIM/game in his career, so damn near a minor penalty per game, which is honestly almost impressive. The only redeeming quality of Keith was that he was a good hockey player, with 1065 points in 1201 career games, or a .88 PPG.

His son Matthew is none of those things. No, Matthew is always a shithead, and a frequent committer of the dirty play, as you can see here. Seriously, what kind of special asshole do you need to be to have enough evidence of you being an asshole that a twelve minute video can be made to document you showing your ass just one year into your career?? He doesn’t commit penalties at quite the same rate as his dad, but with 143 PIM in 112 games so far in his career, he’s at 1.28 PIM/game already with potential to climb. He doesn’t even score at a similar rate to his father, with 70 points in his career thus far, or a .625 PPG. That basically makes him Milan Lucic (coincidence? I think not).

The problem with young Tkachuk tho is that he sometimes manages to be fun to watch. He managed to do this just a few weeks ago, which was pretty cool. And he sometimes has good taste in targets for his bullshit. But being fun to watch isn’t a redeeming quality of an asshole. If anything, it makes it more frustrating, because there is no need to engage in that useless bullshit when you can do cool hockey things instead.

But being a hockey fan might be less fun if we didn’t have villains to hate, and while there were no shortage of those before Tkachuk hit the league, it’s nice of him to be such a willing participant in ensuring there won’t be a shortage in the future either.

Game #38 Preview

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

This is a new thing we’re gonna try this year, setting up every night’s action outside of the Hawks. We’ll see how it goes. 

Game Of The Night

Flames vs. Oilers (9pm)

Fuck the banner-raising in Pittsburgh, as that’s going to be called by Mike Milbury and will involve the Blues. Although it’s hard to imagine a more perfect marriage than the Blues being watched by Milbury, who will assuredly spend a period and a half wondering how the Blues could have traded Ryan Reaves. Anyway, these are two of the three teams that are going to matter in the Pacific. And they’re way more interesting than the Ducks. Flames fans can already start cutting themselves if the Oilers light up Mike Smith, which you’d have to bet they would. See how Draisaitl shifts back to center and how the Oilers still have no defense.

Everything Else

Maybe a week ago, I would have told you that I was pretty excited to see what the Calgary Flames have in store this season. It has one of the most exciting young players in the game in Johnny Gaudreau, even if he’s a MAGA dipshit. He plays on a very entertaining line with Sean Monahan (is there a chance he could bend?). They have Michael Frolik whom I adore, who’s on a line with fellow hockey Zobrists Michael Backlund and Matthew Tkachuk. They have three #1 d-men, and just added Travis Hamonic who could be one of the better #2-3s in the game. And VERSTEEG! is here!. They look poised to make some serious noise in the West since 2004.

And then their owners started bitching about their arena deal not getting done and now I hope they go 0-82. Because fuck those guys. And wear the fucking throwbacks all the time, dillholes.

Cal And Gary Flames

’16-’17 Record: 45-33-4  94 points (4th in Pacific, torqued in 1st round by ANA)

Team Stats 5v5: 50.5 CF% (10th)  50.5 SF% (10th)  49.9 SCF% (18th)  7.6 SH% (16th)  .920 SV% (22nd)

Special Teams: 20.1 PP% (12th)  81.5 PK% (12th)

Everything Else

Not that it’s going to stop us making jokes about the “Seattle Flames,” or “Quebec Flames,” but I really hope that this latest relocation drama ends up being anything resembling a line in the sand for this whole new arena/franchise relocation mishegas that really should be a crime. You hardly need me to tell you that cities building new arenas on the backs of taxpayers for the benefit of billionaires for no apparent result other than the enriching of the latter is one of many despicable aspects of modern government and society. But that list has gotten so long now I feel like it benefits from hiding behind the other ones.

A quick recap if you don’t pay attention to things in southern Alberta (or as my Vancouver-native friend referred to it, “Fucking cowshit smelling fucking hellhole): The Flames have been angling for a new building for a couple years now, trying to replace the now 34-year-old Saddledome. It hasn’t gone anywhere, as Calgary’s mayor Naheed Nenshi has basically, rightfully told them to go screw. So last week, CEO of the Flames Ken King said they would no longer seek a deal with “this administration.”

Basically, he’s trying to influence the mayoral election that comes next month. While that’s sickening enough, most of us don’t really bat an eye at a multi-million dollar corporation trying to swing elections simply for their benefit. Our entire country is now built on the fucking concept.

But what I think Nenshi might realize, or hope that he does, is that cities should really no longer fear their teams moving away.

Everything Else

Much like the players themselves, or so it seems, it’s hard for Hawks fans to stay locked in for the last two and a half weeks of the season. We know where the Hawks are finishing, and other than the “IT’S ALIVE!” method of experimenting with his lineup that Quenneville sometimes delves into, there isn’t a lot of drama.

About the only thing left is for the Hawks to figure out who they’ll be opening the playoffs against, and thanks to how the West has shaped up over the past couple weeks, it could be any one of six teams. And if the Wild keep going the way they’re going, it could actually be one of seven.

As of right now, it would be the Blues again, for the third time in four years. But they’re one point behind the Predators for third in the division. And the Preds are only one point behind the Flames, who hold the first wild-card spot. Who themselves are only one point behind the Oilers and Sharks, who are only two points behind the Ducks, and the Wild are only two points ahead of that. So it could any of that.

What should you prefer?

Everything Else

Box Score

Hockey Stats

Natural Stat Trick

It certainly wasn’t vintage stuff, other than the Flames’ amazing throwback jerseys that they need to wear every game. Not just home games. EVERY. GAME. Once again the Hawks gave up 30 shots. Once again they didn’t muster that many. Once again they were pretty much reduced to one line and what they could come up with on the power play. But this being the Flames, this being the Flames playing their third game in four nights, and this being the Flames without their best player, it was enough. Because Corey Crawford makes sure it’s enough. That’s been the MO, and it’s worked thus far. As long as it keeps working, it’ll provide enough time for the Hawks to figure the rest out.

Everything Else

How quickly things change, especially in a Canadian market where every game is seemingly a referendum on the entire morale of a city or province. It was barely 18 months ago when Flames fans and front office were failing to hide their glee at heisting Dougie Hamilton from Boston GM Don Sweeney, who was still definitely only sporting a learner’s permit and should not have been operating the vehicle alone. Holy run-on sentences, Batman!

Fast forward to now and suddenly there are rumblings that Hamilton could be on the trade block. How did we get here? Well, some of it has to do with misuse, some of it perception, some of it cap problems, and some of it the lingering cloud that is the incoming Las Vegas franchise.

Everything Else

flames atlanta vs. Hawk Wrestler

RECORDS: Flames 4-5-1   Hawks 5-3-1

PUCK DROP: 7:30pm

TV: CSN

TEGAN AND SARA FANS: Flamesnation.ca

Projected Lineups

flames-lineup-card

blackhawks-lineup-card

SCORE-ADJUSTED CF%: Flames – 49.0 (20th)  Hawks – 51.4 (10th)

POWER PLAY%: Flames – 10.8 (27th)  Hawks – 23.7 (10th)

PENALTY KILL%: Flames – 72.1 (28th)  Hawks – still bad but climbing!

TRENDS: Gaudreau has four points in his last three games…Elliot has a .941 SV% is last four starts

In another brilliant piece of NHL scheduling, the Flames return to the United Center for the second time in eight days, after having to return home in between because Calgary is just right around the corner. Oh, and after flying out here from Alberta they’ll turn around to head to California right after this one. That’s some excellent work there.

Anyway, much like the Hawks the Flames come into this one starting to cure, at the very slightest, some of the problems that affected the opening weeks of the season.

Everything Else

We’ve got the whole crew from FlamesNation.ca, or at least a good chunk of it. Old friend Kent Wilson (@Kent_Wilson), Ari Y (@thirtyfourseven), and Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike).

It’s not that there were huge expectations for the Flames this year, but a lot of people thought they could sneak a playoff spot in the Pacific. It’s been a bit of a wonky first month, what’s been the problem?

Wilson: The stars have been ice cold, the special teams horrendous and they have are taking the 2nd most penalties in the league so far. It’s amazing they’ve won a game. 

Ari: Inexplicable defence pairings, a horrifically anemic powerplay (thanks Dave Cameron. They can’t even enter the zone), still somehow trying to adjust to a new coach apparently, and a really rough start to the season in part thanks to guys like Johnny Gaudreau and Sean Monahan missing the entire preseason (and Monahan may still be dealing with lingering back issues). The Flames only started to look respectable in their first game against Chicago, but the turnaround remains uncertain at this point in time.

Pike: Their four best players (Johnny Gaudreau, Sean Monahan, Mark Giordano & T.J. Brodie) haven’t been even close to their usual levels and, at times, have actually gotten in the way of the Flames capturing points.

Everything Else

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Hockey Stats

You live by the shootout, you die by it. Or you just take them to mean nothing because they don’t. While some will use this as an excuse to say everything’s fucked, it really isn’t. The Hawks, even as off their game as they were tonight, mauled the Flames at even-strength (which doesn’t say much for Glen Gulutzan Glen Ross). Once again, the penalty kill cost the Hawks a point this time, as it did in Nashville, and in Columbus, and would have against the Leafs if they didn’t get the two minute drill right.