Box Score
Event Summary
War on Ice
Well that looks a bit more familiar. While some of the components of the roster are odd fits in their given lineup spots at best or not NHL players at worst, the Hawks were at least able to do something that they weren’t able to last year, and that’s beat Michael Hutchinson in regulation, who gave the Jets what they needed last year with a 3-0-1 record against the Hawks.
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Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN (National), WGN-AM 720
Labour Issues In The Toy Department: Hockey Wilderness
As the broadcast will assuredly punish the listening audience with 7 million reminders of by puck drop, the first game back at home after a road trip is always a TRAP GAME. And it’s even moreso of one by some moronic logic because the Wild have lost 6 of 7 coming into tonight. Or it could just be that they’re just perpetually mediocre.
at 
Game Time: 9:30PM Central
TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
Fountain and Fairfax: The Royal Half, Jewels From The Crown
Tonight the Hawks will conclude their annual November two-week displacement from the United Center at the hands of Sirs Barnum and Bailey on Figueroa against the Kings, who are taking a novel approach to their regular season by at least cultivating the image that they give a shit about it. But much like their visiting counterparts, they still do not give a shit about women or human decency.
at 
Game Time: 8:00PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Brian Burke’s Fightin’ Barn: Matchsticks & Gasoline, Flames Nation
For the second time in three games, the Hawks will take on the Calgary Flames, this time in Cow Town amid the red clad ranchers at the SaddleDome for the second stop of the Circus Trip.
at 
Game Time: 8:30Pm
TV/Radio: CSN, SportsNet 1, WGN-AM 720
Lost’n For Auston: Copper & Blue, Oilers Nation
No matter how hard they try to convince themselves, their fans, and the rest of the league, the Edmonton Oilers just can’t seem to stop tripping over their own collective dick. As of last night with John Torotrella’s Columbus Blue Jackets defeating the Blues on home ice, the Oilers are once again dead last in the NHL, and now welcome in the Blackhawks to Rexall as they begin their annual November road trip.
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Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, SportsNet 1, WGN-AM 720
Rodeo Clown Convention: Matchsticks & Gasoline, Flames Nation
The Jack Adams Award for the best coach during a given season has in recent vintage gone to numbnuts coaches who have helmed teams who drastically outscore their woeful posession numbers. Last year’s winner, Bob Hartley, proved no different as the Flames made a surprise entrance into the post-season and actually won a round against the hilariously mediocre Vancover Canucks. But as so often proves to be the case, a new season provides a violent market correction, and this year’s iteration of the Flames is not an exception.
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Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Bruce Springsteen Is A Fraud And A Charlatan: All About The Jersey
After one of the more vomit-inducing, aesthetically displeasing performances of the Quenneville era last Friday in Newark, the Devils complete the season series tonight at the United Center fresh off getting shut out by West East St. Louis on Tuesday at home.
There are numerous, fundamental reasons why the NHL’s decision to move to a 3-on-3 is a flawed and misguided one, trying to solve a problem of their own creation. While sidestepping the history lesson, the NHL turned to the shootout to entice the casual fan, but then decided that they shouldn’t matter because it’s not real hockey. As a solution 3-on-3 still isn’t actual NHL hockey, but it does have a vague team aspect to it to resolve regular season games and avoiding shootouts, because removing shootouts entirely wasn’t an option. That the initiative is exceeding that low bar is empirically clear even about 20% of the way through the regular season.
Even the purists who align themselves with a solution that somehow loses the charity point that artificially inflates standings points (with 3 on 3 now doing so for individual scoring statistics) will through gritted teeth admit that 3 on 3 is at least exciting. But just because the situation is tense doesn’t mean that it’s actually well played or even a facsimile of the up and down pond hockey the flapping heads want to label it as.
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Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: WGN, NHLN, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Tyler Dellow Fixed Everything: Oilers Nation, Copper & Blue
And thus came a great wailing from the north. A veritable Alberta Clipper of wailing and flagellation as their latest savio(u)r was felled, as if this time were going to be any different. As if their falling ass backwards into yet another #1 overall pick in the year of a consensus franchise changer was anything but infuriating luck. As if he was going to make any material difference this year.
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Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NHL Network, SportsNet Affiliates, WGN-AM 720
Dean’s List: The Royal Half, Jewels From The Crown
The Kings and Blackhawks have one of the modern NHL’s true great rivalries, with the two teams alternating Stanley Cup titles over the last four years. But their competitiveness with one another extends to off the ice issues.
While last year’s Hawks team was clouded by rumors and innuendo of off-ice misdoings, the Kings came right out in the open with it by having both the now departed Jarret Stoll and Mike Richards arrested separately for drug possession. And that’s on top of Slava Voynov being essentially convicted and deported for beating the shit out of his wife. However, in a seemingly unending game of one-upsmanship, the Hawks’ highest profile player made himself the subject of a sexual assault investigation, something the Kings were familiar with three years ago with Drew Doughty. But where the case against Doughty was largely forgotten and evaporated through strongarming the victim, Kane was removed from a video game cover and is still under investigation.
It wasn’t just limited to the players, either. After Dean Lombardi allowed Slava Voynov to skate with the team while suspended because he felt like he needed it, John McDonough basically undid a career of evil public relations genius with a single ass-showing press conference at the haven of progressive sexual politics and scandal-free placidity that is Notre Dame. But these are competitive men who have helmed these teams to near dynastic levels of on ice success, and Dean Lombardi was not going to go quietly into the night. Upon reaching an even more dubious settlement after his evil outright termination of Mike Richards’ contract, Lombardi literally shed tears over how he was duped and how wronged he felt by Mike Richards’ addictive spiral with pain killers, as if the bullshit tough guy culture of the sport didn’t basically strong arm him into using them to keep himself on the ice. Lombardi did not feel wronged or duped by Slava Voynov’s violence towards women however, and still holds’ Voynov’s rights should he ever be allowed in the US again, at the very least preventing him from playing for another team.
Even the fans get into the act as well. Whereas Kings fans initially just spouted typical victim-blaming vomit (serious trigger warning), or in the case of most fan-run outlets just forget in the face of Stanley Cups and Norris finalist campaigns about Drew Doughty’s misdoings, Hawks fans took things to another level. Staging rallies, organizing Twitter hashtags, threatening sports radio anchors to the point of calling out of work, or demanding apologies (that are never, ever, EVER fucking coming), they’ve taken the empty-souled fanboy routine to dizzying new heights.
And now with the first meeting of these two teams happening tonight at the United Center, everyone on both sides is surely breathless with anticipation with what the next step in this rivalry will be.
