Everything Else

You Get What Anyone Gets – Saying Goodbye To The ’18-’19 Calgary Flames

By Sam Fels 1439 0

How do you say goodbye to something you barely knew was there?

Sure, Calgary was the West’s #1 seed, and you probably treat that revelation with an, ‘Oh…riiiight,” response. You knew it, somewhere in the back of your mind, and then forgot it, much like whether or not there was cream cheese in the fridge. You’re just as likely to buy more and then come home to realize you have even more cream cheese you’re probably not ever going to get to. And that’s the Flames. They’re in the fridge, but you always forget, and they’re just in the door until they go green.

Honestly, Calgary is the Canadian team that makes up the numbers. They’re not hilariously run and bad like the Senators or Canucks or Oilers. Their fans don’t make the spectacle of themselves that Toronto’s or Winnipeg’s do. They’re not constantly crying for attention and think they invented the sport like Montreal. They’re just there, kicking the horseshit around their town and not really bothered. Oh sure, they’ll have an arena debate every few months just to remind everyone they’re still alive and maybe act like a big boy. But that’s about it.

Oh, how they tried to make their goalie failures everyone’s problem. But they didn’t do it as well as San Jose, and everyone was like, “No, we already have a contender with no goalie in the fridge, thanks.” They tried to claim that Matthew Tkachuk’s upcoming restricted free agency was a real problem, but the Leafs had that market cornered. And they tried to tell you how good Sean Monahan was…until he died right before the first round. Sky point. So they’re left to try and scream about how Mikael Backlund is the most underrated player in the league, and you look at people spending time talking about Mikael Backlund and you can’t help but wonder who hurt them in life.

There was the Mark Giordano Lifetime Appreciation Tour, and his fellow Norris finalists all might be done in the first round. It’s a cursed award. They retired Jarome Iginla’s number. It was an emotional night for those in Calgary to praise their team’s greatest ever player and an emotional night for everyone outside of Calgary how such a gift of a player could toil in a city that was such an afterthought for so long. Connor McDavid watched the ceremony and wept, knowing there was no way his career would go any differently. And he probably won’t even get a couple gold medals to make it better. Enjoy that trade to Carolina when you’re 35, Run CMD. But that’s not why you called.

The Flames were actually entertaining for a while. They spent the first part of the year just not playing defense, and then wondering why Mike Smith couldn’t bail them out. Recurring theme with Bill Peters teams. Then they seemed to figure it out with either Big Save Dave or Smith, except the former went back to being a goalie you’d never heard of and Mike Smith was Mike Smith.

Then Peters, in his first playoff series as coach, showed up with a plan that consisted of, “Uh, do some shit?” It didn’t contain any notes on how to contain Nathan MacKinnon, who proceeded to mirror Nene when he made Joakim Noah’s Defensive Player Of The Year Award look like the dumbest possible decision in NBA history. Nene! You go ahead and accept that Norris there, Gio, though some one is going to have to hold it for you while you’re in the burn unit. Also, Nate went that way.

Of course, the most interesting thing about the Flames was that after all the kvetching about Smith or from Smith, he was clearly the Flames best player in the 1st round. Perhaps they were just too surprised and kept letting the Avs through to barrage Smith to make sure what they were seeing was real. “No, this can’t be right, not after the last six months. Here, J.T., why don’t you go on through and try again and we’ll sort this out.”

Peters answer for all this was…well, we’re still waiting for an answer. Always has to be encouraging for a team and organization when your coach throws his hands in the air right after his team is eliminated when asked what happened. It’s not like his job to know or anything. This is exclusive to hockey coaches. Imagine an NBA coach trying this. Steven A. Smith would turn puce. But hey, Bill is a good Canadian boy so it can’t be his fault he doesn’t know. Hockey’s weird!

What happened was his defense is slow, and while his top six is quick, it’s not MacKinnon quick. And Monahan died. Other than that, everything is fine.

And this is the team they’ll basically have going forward, partially thanks to James Neal having four years left on his deal. Stationary shooters age so well in a speeding-up league, it’s a wonder this didn’t work. Tkachuk will gobble up most of the space, and if he’s anything like his old man will spend the rest of the time gobbling up whatever is on the table in front of him. The Dreaded Laramie is going to become The Bloated Laramie.

So toodles, Flames. You were here, I guess. No one’s sure why. And you still will be in the seasons to come. And no one will know why then, either. It’s the role you play. Sadly, you’re basically the Oilers or Islanders but only a quarter of the faded glory. Nice threads, though. You’ll always have the Oilers to laugh at, and the Canucks, in your weird little Western Canada cabal. It’s probably going to suck when Seattle comes in and is immediately better than all of you. Probably should have done something anyone can remember. Maybe you can get Daymon Langkow to punch Iggy on his lawn again.

Everything Else

The Doll’s Trying to Kill Me and the Toaster’s Been Laughing at Me – FFUD ’18-19 Player Reviews – Corey Crawford

By Rose Rankin 1942 0

I know we’re all trying to move on from the extended fart sound that was the Hawks’ ’18-19 season, but at FFUD we revel in our misery and the pointlessness of it all, so we’re going to give you our year-end player reviews in all their sadness and glory. And who better to start with than the man, the myth, the legend, Corey Crawford?

39 GP – .908 SV% — 2.93 GAA

.913 SV% at evens – .880 SV% on the PK

Oh Corey Crawford, the linchpin of this team, steeped in drama nearly all year making not one but two comebacks, and proving he’s still among the elite in this league. There were rocky times and a definitive drop in quality for a while, and after the second concussion it was legitimately debated if he could or should come back at all—I openly advocated that he should not, for the record. And yet he proved his worth time and time again and now there are still more questions than answers. Let’s dig in:

It Comes with a Free Frogurt

It is beyond a shadow of a doubt at this point that Crawford is the most important player on the team and that he’s basically a complete badass for all the shit he’s put up with on and off the ice. Remember how at the beginning of the season the organ-I-zation declared him ready to play, which was news to everyone, including to Crawford himself? It seemed like the perfect set-up for Bowman to throw him under the bus in short order. And then when he did come back in mid-October, he wasn’t exactly the Crawford of old, throwing out a .901 SV% and 3.27 GAA at evens in 23 games. On the penalty kill he was a woeful .895.

Yet he was dealing with The Defense From Hell and still managed to have some gems as he got back into form after not playing for 10 fucking months. For example, by mid-November he got his first shutout against the Blues (who admittedly sucked a lot more then than later in the season). Crow stopped 39 of 40 shots against the Wild a couple days later, and played extremely well against a blisteringly fast Flames team, all the while facing anywhere from 30-40 shots nearly every night.

You all know about the second concussion thanks to perennial shithead Evander Kane. What matters for our purposes is how Crawford ignored the (rather logical) calls for him to hang it up, worked his way back, and finished the season better than his first go-round. He put up a .932 SV% and 1.98 GAA at evens over his last 16 games. He also got his only other shutout of the season against Montreal in an effort that deserves every cheesy sportswriting superlative you want to throw at it (perhaps “flawless,” “sparkling,” “textbook,” I can go on here).

Even when the Hawks were in the process of shitting the bed and falling out of the wild card race, it was rarely on Crow’s shoulders. And that includes when he was literally shitting his pants and had to be replaced against the Leafs in the middle of March. Crawford silenced all the doubters (including your truly) about his capabilities in net, his near super-human ability to work his way back from serious injury, and his penchant for competing up until the absolute final whistle.

The Frogurt is Also Cursed

But that doesn’t mean that the injuries haven’t taken a toll—it just means that Crawford is forging ahead as IF they haven’t but that’s not necessarily reality. The Hawks can and should give him the benefit of every doubt and act under the assumption that he’ll start next year and pick things up where he left them, with that .932, not the early-season wobbles. No matter what, though, he needs to address his PK performance (as does the whole team, obviously), and aim for consistency that goes longer than the stretch at the end of this past season.

But, his history of concussions can never be far from the conversation because no one knows what the longer-term ramifications are or what decision he may be forced to take should he sustain another one. On top of that, Crawford pulled a groin muscle in his last game, which isn’t terrifying in and of itself, especially with an entire offseason to heal, but it’s indicative of what happens to everyone in their mid-30s, and particularly to NHL goalies.

Crawford’s contract is up after the 2019-20 season as well, throwing yet another question into the mix. If he doesn’t play well, should they trade him before the deadline and try to get something, anything for him? If he’s playing lights out will he accept a short extension for a couple years since that’s the only wise move the Hawks could make long-term? Can they develop a viable replacement, Collin “Superfluous L” Delia or otherwise, while Crow still takes the majority of the starts? (OK, that was three questions not one but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.)

All of this is to say that next season very well may be Corey Crawford’s last season as a Blackhawk, for any number of reasons. It makes the imperative for the team to get good NOW that much stronger since it’s impossible to say what the endgame looks like, or if it even would be an endgame next season.

If there were any justice in this world, Crawford would have a Vezina-worthy 2019-2020 season and ride off into the proverbial sunset with at least a conference championship, if not one more Cup to his name. But there is no justice here, so we’ll have to hope he stays healthy, plays at his highest level, and that the Hawks don’t totally fuck up the roster.

Everything Else

Don’t Bore Us Get To The Chorus – Weekend Roundup (Nights 10-12)

By Sam Fels 1147 0

Every day we’ll cut right to the chase of what happened in the NHL Playoffs.

Maple Leafs vs. Bruins Head To Game 7: Couldn’t was just fucking started with this?

Avalanche eliminate Flames: Well that was a fucking paddling.

Stars go 3-2 up on Predators: Fucking end this one already.

Caps go 3-2 up on Canes: Fucking whoops.

Blues eliminate Jets: Fuck.

Sharks force Game 7: I’m fuckin’ right for once.

Everything Else

High On The Hog: 2018-19 Season Review

By Jon Fromi 1778 0

To say that the Rockford IceHogs had a successful 2018-19 campaign would be overstating things by a goodly amount. This year’s crop of piglets certainly had its ups and downs. A youthful Rockford club had to deal with changes in the coaching staff as well as injuries.

The Hogs finished the season with a 35-31-4-6 mark. Their 80 points placed the team in seventh place in the eight-team Central Division. The playoffs were within reach, though ultimately Rockford fell seven points short of a postseason berth.

The IceHogs began the season with a 6-3-1-2 record before coach Jeremy Colliton was promoted to the head coaching position in Chicago. Assistant Derek King took over, guiding the team to a 29-28-3-4 mark the rest of the way.

In their brief stint with Colliton, Rockford averaged three goals a contest. King didn’t receive the same offensive production in his 64 games at the helm. The IceHogs finished dead last in the AHL in offense, averaging just 2.39 goals per game.

That was pretty much the story of the season. If the Hogs put three or more goals up on the board, they were likely to win. Credit Mario Tirabassi of the-rink.com for this stat: Rockford was 30-2-2 when they hit the magic number.

They were involved in a league-high 43 one-goal games, going 23-10-4-6. Rockford had eight third-period comeback wins, tied for tops in the AHL. The Hogs played hard every night, kept things close, and

On the other hand, the IceHogs were shut out seven times this season. The power play hit at an anemic 14.5 percent. And when opposing teams scored three times in a game, Rockford was 11-29.

The high water mark for the piglets this season came in a two-month stretch from January 25 to March 20. Rockford went 14-5-1-1 in that time to claw its way into fourth place in the division. Three straight losses to Milwaukee put them back in seventh place; the Hogs went 4-4 to finish the campaign.

The IceHogs finished the season with the second-fewest penalty minutes in the league. Rockford skaters were tagged with 19 fighting majors this season, which was 28th in the 31-team AHL.

The goal tending really kept the Hogs afloat for the bulk of the season. Whether it was Collin Delia, Anton Forsberg or Kevin Lankinen, the play in net was outstanding. The pace was fast enough to keep a young defensive corps from feeling too much pressure in their own zone. Rockford simply couldn’t convert enough at the offensive end most nights.

 

Did The IceHogs Meet Expectations?

No.

With that question answered, let’s see if we can’t pinpoint why Rockford came up short this season.

I went back into time and pulled my forecast of the 2018-19 before this got underway this fall. Those thoughts are italicized, with my 20/20 hindsight included.

Before the Hawks organization sent veteran reinforcements in February, Rockford was a young, exciting team that was fun to watch but was probably going to finish a spot or two out of the playoff picture. Not a one of the veteran catalysts remains from the club that reached the Western Conference Final.

Veteran AHL goaltender Mike McKenna has recently retired after a long career in the professional ranks. He led Texas to a Western Conference Final win over the IceHogs in 2017-18. Back on Wednesday, he tweeted about some of his former teammates having an impact with Dallas this spring.

McKenna dropped this nugget of wisdom on the importance of winning at the AHL level:

“I’ve always felt winning is so important in the minors. Development is the key word, but that can’t truly be achieved without habitually winning and learning what it takes to do so. And if you want to win…you need vets to support those blue chip kids. Takes a balanced attack.”

Excluding last spring, that balance has largely been absent in Rockford. This spring, it equates to a seventh-place team that is watching the playoffs at home. This year’s team very closely resembled last year’s model, pre-fortification.

The only veteran add made this year was Peter Holland, who came aboard in February in a trade with the Rangers. Holland put up 16 points in 21 games. It was an erstwhile move by management, but in no way resembled the massive veteran wave that arrived the season before. As a result, this year’s Hogs wound up pretty much where last year’s team was headed before the big roster boost.

Where does that leave this season’s group? Well, it would be foolish to think that the roster will undergo its share of turnover over 76 games.

Players are going to slide in and out of town at various points in the campaign. A lot of skaters earned looks in Chicago last season and that figures to continue with a lot of youth in the Hawks lineup.

Nine IceHogs would up with some time in Chicago this season. Delia, Alexandre Fortin, Luke Johnson, Jacob Nilsson, Dylan Sikura, Dennis Gilbert and Lankinen were in Rockford when the season ended. Gustav Forsling and Carl Dahlstrom were recalled midseason and finished up with the Blackhawks.

As constructed, a lot of the load will have to be shouldered by returning players like (Matthew) Highmore, (Tyler) Sikura and (Anthony) Louis. (Terry) Broadhurst and (Jordan) Schroeder getting off to hot starts and being steady, point-producing vets would be more than welcome.

Highmore injured his shoulder October 28 and played in just a dozen games. Sikura missed two months with a broken thumb and saw his number drop as a result. Louis was healthy but didn’t match his production from his rookie season.

Schroeder had a career-high 45 points. No offense to Nilsson, but he was Rockford’s MVP this season. Broadhurst’s impact was less than his career number would have suggested, with a career-low 12 points (4 G, 8 A) in 40 games.

Ultimately, it could come down to how Rockford grows up on the defensive side of the puck that dictates team success. Last spring’s playoff lessons could pay dividends with what is still a very young team. Will it be enough to land the Hogs in the postseason? 

The play on the back end was sufficient. Ultimately, the Hogs couldn’t find a replacement for the extended loss of their two top goal scorers from the season before. There wasn’t enough veteran scoring added to replace what had departed last summer.

The result? A young, hard-working team that couldn’t score and was prone to streaky play. It was not enough to keep the piglets season going.

Next week, I will begin looking at the Hogs player by player. We’ll start with the forwards.

Follow me @JonFromi for thoughts on the IceHogs in and out of season.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything Else

Your Weekend Playoff Primer

By Sam Fels 1677 0

We’re getting to the business end of the 1st round, and thankfully most of the bullshit and cock-holding has started to fade a bit. Some things will get decided this weekend, so it’s time to focus on what really matters. Here’s where we stand.

Toronto vs. Boston (2-2)

You hear less moaning and whining from Toronto now that Tampa won’t be waiting in the second round after spending a week filing their nails, as we all thought would happen. Still, you can easily see a scenario where the Leafs finally vanquish the Bruins, are overjoyed with their first series win since the Model-T was in fashion, and then get atom-smashed by the Jackets in four or five games. I’m almost kind of hoping this happens.

Anyway, this series has been as close as 2-2 would suggest and neither really finding anything to exploit on the other. The Bs really kicked around the Leafs in Game 2, and the Leafs kind of did in Game 4 without getting the result. Sometimes the other guys makes 38 saves.

For the most part, whether home or road, Patrice Bergeron has been matched up with John Tavares, and has gotten just this side the better. You wouldn’t expect that to change tonight in Boston. And much the same, the Matthews-Krejci matchup has been a standstill, though if you had to bet Matthews is the slightly better bet to pop off. But where this might get decided is the Bruins bottom-six has been getting devoured possession and chance-wise by Toronto’s, and if Nazem Kadri weren’t a galactic moron he’d be odds-on to make that count instead of his replacements. Still, that’s what I’d watch for the next two or three.

Avalanche vs. Flames (Avs 3-1)

This one doesn’t take much science. The Flames don’t have an answer for Nathan MacKinnon, even though by some miracle the goaltending has essentially been equal. It’s just that Mike Smith has faced 108 shots the past two games. Giordano and Brodie are getting blistered, and I can’t talk about what’s happening to Hamonic and Hanifin without asking any children in the room to leave.

On the other side, Sean Monahan hasn’t come close to answering what MacKinnon’s line is doing, and if that continues the Flames here are toast. Bill Peters, or Pill Beters if you prefer, at home tonight has to get Backlund out against MacK every chance he gets. Yes, Backlund had a nightmare end to Game 4, but he’s still one of the best checking centers in the league and there doesn’t seem to be much option. Still, no one on the Flames is carrying an xGF% over 45% except Tkachuk. That’s a big one, that’s a bad one.

Stars vs. Predators (tied 2-2)

If you haven’t watched this one, good for you. It’s been like watching the DMV. The Stars have turned into Trotz Ultra, and the Predators don’t really have the firepower to easily get through it. They play just enough defense to usually be ok, except when they don’t bother to show up as they did in Game 4. With Bishop and Rinne, and the way the Stars play this, the margins are awfully thin and this one could easily be decided by something hitting someone’s ass and going in. Just don’t cut time out for it, you’ve got better things to do.

Blues vs. Jets (Blues lead 3-2)

It’s rare you see a team try and out-Blues the Blues, but we live in strange times. The Jets, who I’m convinced have been trying to get Paul Maurice fired since November, had it in their hands last night. Up two goals at home and the Blues really doing nothing. But because they stopped playing defense long ago in that attempt to get their coach canned, they let them back into it. Also having an aging and even more-uncaring Byfuglien out there will lead to messes on the rug, evidenced by Oskar Sundqvist walking around him like he was roped off by caution tape for the equalizer last night. Jacob Trouba seems intent on costing himself money by the day, and the Jets are a mess.

This is still the Blues though, who also had the series in their hands and then kept tossing Colton Parayko at Mark Scheifele. This has truly been the debate of Mooseylvania, where each keeps pushing the the win back toward each other.

Hurricanes vs. Capitals (2-2)

It’s funny, but basically the Canes have kicked the crap out of the Capitals for most of this series and can’t seem to solve Holtby. only Game 4 was close in terms of possession or expected goals, and the Canes carried a 57% share in that one anyway. Again, as we’ve said with the Canes for years now, as fun as they are and as much right as they do, the lack of premier firepower is costing them. With it, and this one might already be over.

Still, it’s the former champs and you’d trust Braden Holtby more than Petr Mrazek, even though Mrazek has been good for months now. The Canes have to continue to dominate possession to make up for the snipers they don’t have, stay out of the box, and they can pull the upset. Oshie is going to be a big miss here, because his kind of finishing is the difference between these teams. Without him, that difference becomes smaller. And you know Aho is going to go off in one of these games.

Sharks vs. Knights (Vegas leads 3-2)

This one’s simple enough. When the Sharks get any saves whatsoever, they win. When they don’t, they don’t. They haven’t been outclassed or dominated for any stretch here other than maybe Game 3, but in the middle three games whatever chances the Knights got went in and the Sharks were always chasing. Jones played well last night, the Sharks won relatively easily, but that was also the case in Game 1 and then he went to the zoo for three games. There’s no margin for error now. Fleury has only been ok in this series, but he’s only had to be ok. Vlasic’s return also clearly makes a difference.

You’ll know by the 1st period on Sunday if this one’s over or not. If Jones hasn’t crapped out a chicken, the Sharks have every chance to get it back to Cali for a Game 7. If he has, pack up the cats.

Everything Else

Don’t Bore Us Get To The Chorus – Night 9

By Sam Fels 1087 0

Every morning we cut right to the chase of what happened in the playoffs the night before.

Hurricanes tie Caps at 2: Fuckin ‘eh, Cotton, Fuckin’ Eh!

Blues take 3-2 lead on Jets in last 15 seconds: Fuckers to the left of me, fuckers to the right….

Sharks make it 3-2 Vegas: Why don’t you fucking do that all the time?

Everything Else

They Want to Look at Etchings

By Rose Rankin 1572 0

By now you all know about the stir caused by Tim Anderson’s emphatic bat flip following a home run against the Royals, and how he was summarily drilled by a pitch in retaliation, which led to the benches clearing and general consternation over the fact that celebrating in baseball is such a hot-button issue that a gesture after the game’s most heralded outcome of an at-bat results in dangerous physical retribution.

A lot of people have rightly observed the stupidity of baseball’s general anti-celebration stance and pointed out it’s sometimes driven by the players themselves, not just crusty league management guys and shitheads like Joe West. But we need to remember that baseball isn’t the only Buzz Killington in the sports world, when in reality there’s a depressingly large number of them.

Take hockey. Mark Lazarus tweeted yesterday about how pretty much every goal in hockey is celebrated with leaps into the glass and music and hugs, and that’s of course true—the visceral release after a goal is one of hockey’s most endearing qualities. But let’s not forget the opprobrium heaped on the Carolina Hurricanes earlier this year by established voices in the hockey world.

Of course the most obvious of these was Don Cherry. First, the fact that Don Cherry even has a job yelling into the TV when he should be yelling at traffic somewhere is absurd, but then throw in how stupid his beef with the ‘Canes was and it’s truly something to behold. The horror! A team whose job it is to physically move together in sync decided to do a different type of movement together in sync that also happened to be clever and entertaining—whatever shall we do? The NHL was rightly criticized for emphasizing faceless monotony among players as the standard of behavior, and the fact that the celebrations even caused a fuss was pretty damn sad. It threw into clear relief how much entertainment could really be getting lost because of outdated norms of behavior.

Remember when football pulled a similar stunt? Not only is excessive celebration still a thing, but it wasn’t all that long ago that group celebrations were banned outright (really, it was 2017 when they lightened up about it). There was a time when a cell phone incorporated into a touchdown celebration led to a penalty. And think of how much more fun it is now that teams can do Motown routines and conduct an orchestra?

Basketball has been better about accommodating personality in its players and acceptance of those players celebrating what they do on the court. But the NBA is basically the exception, not the rule in major American sports in this sense.

Why do leagues hate fun so much? Or, why do they tolerate certain types of fun but not others? It seems like an extension of the behavior that makes team sports function, i.e., subsuming the individual to work together in a complementary way as a whole. When someone breaks out of that systems they run the risk of upsetting the functioning of multiple personalities together, by leading to one person not playing their role or not executing on their tasks. So I guess it’s not all that surprising that even some of the athletes within these systems would want to reinforce the behavior that is fundamental to overall success.

But it’s doubtful that this contradiction is going away, and both the management of the leagues, in all of their incestuousness in terms of the same coaches/GMs/former players that borders on that of the Lannisters or Targareyns, and current players will need to recognize it. The celebrity nature of athletes isn’t going away either, certainly not in our culture right now, so the behaviors that heighten the entertainment factor and play upon the existence of outsize personalities might as well be embraced. It’s not that every player has to act that way or celebrate wildly, but for those who do, at the end of the day sports are entertainment and that’s what this is all about. The drama of competition, and the collective experience of being a fan with countless others focused on a shared goal are part of it too, but the theatrics can’t be discounted. It’s why the amazing feats that athletes can pull off—which us normies can’t even really understand how different that capability is—are cheered by spectators in the first place.

Someone should remind the rich white guys who run these leagues that they can get even richer by allowing those theatrics, and players who may resent it need to examine why they’re so mad anyway. Let’s all agree so we can stop the teeth-gnashing every time something funny or entertaining happens and all the Buzz Killingtons come out of the woodwork.

Everything Else

If It Has To Be This Way, Let It Be Colorado’s

By Sam Fels 1697 0

These could be the most NHL playoff-iest of the NHL playoffs. One division winner, THE division winner, was kneecapped in four games. One is trailing 3-1. The Predators laid an egg big enough last night to feed a few villages. Even the Caps are somewhat lucky to be up 2-1 on the Canes, and were just trucked to the tune of managing all of two shots in the final 40 minutes. If you love an underdog, this is for you. Even the Islanders, though the higher-seed, were probably not the bookies’ favorite heading into that series. That’s what some people love about the NHL Playoffs, though it doesn’t happen as often as you’d think. Last year, the chalk pretty much won every first round series, and arguably every second round series. Even if the Caps getting by the Penguins was a surprise simply because of history and the connotations of the two in our heads, they were the higher seed.

But still, while we can debate whether the actual results are good or prove anything at all or if they render the regular season even more meaningless than we thought, the undercurrent here is that the two results in the books and one or two others on the cards have been a result of negative, boring-ass hockey. Barry Trotz teams are successful, they are not entertaining. The Nassau Coliseum (where they come to see ’em) might make it seem like they are, but you sat through enough Predators games in the day to know. I don’t expect or want Isles fans to care. The rest of us can, though.

The Jackets aren’t quite the same bore, as they at least turned their trap up to 11 and moved it up the ice, but it was still a trap. The results were stunning and enough to convince you the process was actually lively, but believe me it wasn’t. The Stars, giving the Preds everything they want and more, are possibly playing the most boring and conservative style still left, and will happily tell you so.

It’s sports, not television, and no team is under any obligation to do anything other than what’s best for their team. That’s all their fans care. But I can care, and I do, because I’m not invested thanks to whatever it is they do on Madison St. these days.

Which is why the best series to watch, and despite all the scary undertones for Hawks fans, has been the Avalanche’s utter destruction of the Flames the past two games. Oh sure, last night’s game went to OT, and if not for Phillip Grubauer’s spot-on Cristobal Huet ’09 impression, the Flames walk out of Denver with a tied series and home-ice back. They also gave up 52 shots, 45 at even-strength. That’s betting your ass kicked. More so when it’s the second straight game they’ve surrendered 50+ shots.

And the Avs have gone the opposite way of the Isles or Jackets. They’ve just turned everyone loose, seeing a kind of slow Calgary defense beyond the top pair. And they don’t have to worry about the top pair, because Nathan MacKinnon has ground their bones to make his bread all series. Whereas the Jackets didn’t bust over 25 shots at evens until Game 4, the Avs have done it the past three games and by some distance. They have a goalie playing well, so they’re not too concerned about needing him from time to time, and have bet that if they turn up the heat on every game, the Flames can’t hang. And they haven’t been able to.

They even took their defenseman out of college, Cale Makar, and figured by replacing Samuel Girard with him they could even play faster. He played 20 minutes last night. They don’t care about his age or experience, he just helps them do what they want to do.

After a season of a jump in offense, goals, and overall fun, it stood to reason there would be a group of coaches looking to snuff that out when things got important. It’s how this always goes, and that’s not exclusive to hockey. Look at the last Super Bowl for evidence of that.

Sure, it portends to a future of the Avs pounding on whatever process the Hawks come up with in the next few years, but that’s life. Perhaps the reputations that Trotz and Tortorella have to uphold play a part, whereas Jared Bednar doesn’t have one yet. But rare is the coach who shows up in the playoffs and says, “We can go faster.” Rare is the NHL coach who has no compunction about tossing a 20-year-old into the playoffs when he was in college last week, no matter how special the prospect he is.

Mostly, Bednar has not coached out of fear of what might happen to them, but out of expectation what could happen for them. That is refreshing, and the kind of thing that should be rewarded. I may hate Vegas, and I do, but that’s a speed of series we should probably all want to catch.

Until they run into Trotz, of course.

Everything Else

Series Wrap – Cubs Stomp Some Guys: I See Your Sister In A Sunday Dress

By Sam Fels 1317 0

Game 1 Boxscore: Cubs 7 – Marlins 2 

Game 2 Boxscore: Cubs 4 – Marlins 0

Game 3 Boxscore: Cubs 6 – Marlins 0

I suppose, if I were just taking the Cubs words at face value, the last game of this series would be the kind of one they referenced at the end of last year or in spring training this year as the ones that got away from them last season. Where they lost focus or didn’t quite close out the past couple seasons like they did in 2016. They’ve said it, but I’m not sure how much I buy it when you put together 95 wins with a banged-up roster. But whatever, if they say it they probably believe it to an extent. So the Cubs didn’t let up, didn’t check out against a team full of future gym teachers and possibly current squeegee-men. Cole Hamels certainly wasn’t in any giving mood, and the Cubs have their first series sweep of the year and are looking at being .500 with a series win against Arizona.

Let’s clean it up.

The Two Obs

-These are the kinds of trips through the rotation that the Cubs envisioned when this all started. Darvish still couldn’t quite there, as it should not take 96 pitches to get 17 outs against whatever is masquerading around as Marlins these days. But hey, it was only two runs. I don’t think I’m a big fan of him talking about maxing his velocity when he’s coming off an arm injury and what makes him special is the diversity of his pitches, but at this point I think we’re all just going to take the ride with him and be done with it.

-No such problems with Quintana and Hamels, who are as dialed in as it gets. Q spotted that change-up he’s been saying he wants to use more, though not as much as he probably will in the future. Hamels, being the savvy vet that he is, knew he could just pour everything into the strike zone and are this collection of extras to do their worst. Winner winner chicken dinner.

-The Cubs still haven’t gotten anything out of Bryant and Rizzo and are second in the NL in runs. Tell me why you’re paranoid again?

-While his signing was derided simply because it was the only one the Cubs made for the lineup this winter, Daniel Descalso is hell of an upgrade on Tommy La Stella so far. In fact, even if Ian Happ were to get hot I can’t quite figure out where he’d go right now anyway. And no, I don’t want to see him in center or right. Which means, as we thought all along, it might come down to a debate between him and Schwarber in left. But that’s not a problem for now.

-Contreras only had one hit today. What a bum.

-Please don’t make me start believing in David Bote. I’ve been here too many times.

Onwards…