Hockey

From The Screen To Your Stereo – Hawks at Panthers Games 3 & 4 Preview

By Matt McClure 1502

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Game Times: 6:00PM CST (1/17 & 1/19)
TV/Radio: NBCSN Chicago, WGN-AM 720 (1/17 & 1/19), NHLN, TVAS, SportsNet (1/17)
Polo’d Down To The Socks To The Nutsack: Litter Box Cats

After a predictable opening series in Tampa, the Hawks stay in Florida while it snows here at home to take on the Panthers in Sunrise tonight and on Tuesday. Because the Cats were slated to start the season against the infected and infested Dallas Stars, those games got moved (the first of likely many across the NHL slate this year), and tonight will be their opener, the last NHL team to do so.

Hockey

Mediocrity Gets You Pears – Hawks Lose 5-1, 5-2 In Lightning Series

By Matt McClure 1751

Box Score 1 Box Score 2
Game Log 1 Game Log 2
Natural Stat Trick 1 Natural Stat Trick 2

 

Well this started out about as generously as could be expected given the how wide the gulf between these two teams currently is. There were extended stretches of both games where the Bolts were seemingly just playing with their food, rope-a-doping the Hawks into tiring themselves out and then immediately capitalizing on the slightest miscue and creating odd-man rushes going the other way with a single stride. This team is still favored to win this makeshift, slapdash division without Nikita Kucherov for a reason, as Andrei Vasilivskiy in particular barely broke a sweat in these two games, looking as locked in as he ever has. Of course, when Brandon Pirri and Ryan Carpenter are the ones just tossing prayers in your direction, it’s certainly easy to look that way.

  • It has long been established that part of the style guide here is to avoid questioning drive, jump, effort, body language, COMPETE, whatever horse shit term anyone wants to use when analyzing a game. But this team certainly already looks like it is acutely aware that this is a lost season to be played in empty buildings amid a plague, and knows it is woefully outgunned. This couldn’t possibly speak to the fact that the coach is a mealy mouthed boy band reject who’s idea of a firey pregame speech is whispering from a toilet stall while his hall of fame captain stares daggers into the abyss because it’s clear he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Which all COULD work, if there was any semblance of his tactics having on-ice results. Being a stomping redass with snot and spit flying everywhere as he screams isn’t a solution either.
  • Speaking of revolutionary defensive zone coverage, a fun game to play at home is to do a shot every time the Hawks are scored against while both defensemen are in the same corner. Don’t worry, during lockdown it’s “Airport Rules”  – no one is allowed to question why, when, how much, or what you’re drinking.
  • Especially guilty of the aforementioned crimes against hockey sensibilities is Nikita Zadorov, who appears to be the perfect storm of lunkheadedness, obliviousness, aggression, and having a lack of coherent structure from his coaching staff to be profoundly, tragically out of position at all times. It’s a good thing he’s paired with Adam Boqvist, who was already teetering on the brink of being broken by this organization.
  • Speaking of Boqvist (and Ian Mitchell), it’s clear that the tools are there for both of them, but it’s still very clear that these two are playing either scared to make a mistake, or in-between in their heads fighting their shotgunny instincts that made them prospects in the first place. And if every single mistake ends up in the back of the net and/or is subsequently punished, it could break these two young careers before they even start.
  • Boqvist in particular let his instincts show late last night when it was still 3-2, where he jumped down from the right point looking for a seam pass that obviously missed, and sprang a Bolts rush the other way that Ondrej Palat buried. But those are the type of chances the Hawks have not only got to live with, but encourage from Boqvist and Mitchell. His insticts were absolutely right, given that the passing lane was there and he was uncovered, and that within the context of the score and clock it was absolutely a judicious chance to take. Just because it didn’t work doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great idea, and that cannot be punished or coached out of him.
  • In another round of coaching brilliance, Coach Jeremy Trestman has got Andrew Shaw in the trigger man spot in the high slot/near the top of the rings on the first unit, with Dylan Strome in front. While the unit has scored twice (Game #1’s goal was…..yeah), it’s fairly safe to say that that spot is not where Andrew Shaw’s skill set is maximized. True Brain Genious/Cortex Warrior thinking here.
  • In net, while both Malcolm Subban and Colin Delia gave up five goals a piece, Delia looked sharper for the most part, making some more difficult saves even if him handling the puck is clearly an adventure. Don’t anticipate either distinguishing himself for a #1 workload any time soon, especially with what the defense in front of them is providing.
  • There is no reason at all that Philipp Kurashev shouldn’t be playing every single game, especially when the alternative is Brandon Pirri.
  • Pius Suter at least doesn’t look out of place here in the NHL, but it remains to be seen if he’s on trajectory to be just “a guy” or a contributor.

That’s about it for now, the Hawks visit old friend Joel and his Cats tomorrow night for their season opener as their first two games against Dallas got banged due to PESTILENCE. Maybe these games will be closer or the Hawks might win one, but don’t bet the stimulus check on it.

Hockey

The New What Next – Hawks at Lightning – Games 1 & 2 Preview

By Matt McClure 1656

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Game Times: 7:00PM (1/13) & 6:00PM (1/15)
TV/Radio: NBCSN (1/15), NBC Sports Chicago (1/15), WGN-AM 720
Tonight We’re Gonna Give It 35%: Raw Charge

Despite every indication that this shouldn’t be happening from both the world at large given that pestilence still ravaging this country, and the fact that the league itself has said that they’d probably be better off simply NOT playing, the NHL regular season (such as it is) begins tonight. And the Tampa Bay Lightning will raise their championship banner in front of no one while an already decimated Hawks team looks on at a vague reminder of what once was and now seems so desperately far away.

Hockey

Abracadabra – Magic Training Camp 2021 Opens

By Matt McClure 1553

Now that the calendar has turned over from 2020, training camps across the league are now open, and the Men Of Four Feathers hit this ice this morning for their first practice of what will surely be many over the next week-plus where they will finally hone their man-to-man defensive zone coverage skills under the tutelage of Coach Kelvin Gemstone. Here are a few takeaways from what transpired on the West Side this morning and early afternoon.

 

  • Dylan Strome was on the ice after signing a two-year bridge deal worth $3.0 mildo per against the flat salary cap. Strome was one of the last RFAs league-wide to sign, and he didn’t have much leverage to get anything more either in term or dollars, so this is about right. Strome will have every opportunity to get prime power play minutes this year with both Kirby Dach and Jonathan Toews presumed out for the entirety of the season, and this could increase his value elsewhere in the event the Hawks want to move him to get help elsewhere, because they need help everywhere.
  • On the flip side of that coin, Zack Smith was placed on waivers today, and if he goes unclaimed, the Hawks could in theory demote him to Rockford (if the AHL figures their season out) they’d have about $2 million of dead money on the books, as only $1.075 million can be buried in the AHL. But most importantly it IN THEORY opens up a spot for a younger forward to get some time at the NHL level, and the Hawks need to figure out what they have in guys like Philipp Kurashev, Tim Soderlund, Pius Suter (who was “unfit” today), and others. And there is always the off chance that Smith gets claimed, as he is a depth center, and as he showed for a fair amount last year, he isn’t completely useless yet, though coming back from injury isn’t going to help that.
  • Other than Suter, Evan Barratt and everyone’s favorite expensive oaf Brent Seabrook were deemed unfit for today’s festivities. This isn’t a particularly good harbinger of things to come for Bottomless Pete, as he’s coming off basically having his entire body replaced by surgery last year, and has not seen any kind of NHL action in 15 months. With no exhibition games to even kind of get a look at him, if he does come back it’s going to be right into game action, and that’s not going to be pleasant for anyone involved. This is more than likely just another milepost that this slow-motion car crash has to skid by on its path towards the inevitable (and likely antagonistic) end of Seabrook’s storied Blackhawks career. It remains to be seen how everyone involved handles it, but given the lack of communication last year before he was shut down and not taking him to the Edmonton bubble, don’t expect this to end without there being some hard feelings.
  • Speaking of the blue line, while camp pairings mean nothing, it’s all anyone has to work off of in the absence of a single exhibition game. But that said, the pairings today of Boqvist-Zadorov, Mitchell-de Haan, and Keith-Murphy at least make sense from a free-safety/puckmover template. However, in order for them to work, that requires a) that de Haan and Murphy remain upright which is will almost assuredly not happen for any considerable length of time, and b) that Vinny del Colliton (or anyone in the organ-I-zation for that matter) has any idea how to develop a defenseman that isn’t completely turnkey and pro-ready. As usual, the future is blindingly bright.
Hockey

Illness To Insult And Injury

By Matt McClure 2287

In somewhat of a stunner of an announcement this morning, in a joint statement, Jonathan Toews and the Hawks let the public know that he will not be reporting to Magic Training Camp on January 3rd and there is no timetable for his return due to ongoing chronic fatigue that Toews has been experiencing for a while with no clear diagnosis.

In Toews’ own words:

“This offseason, I’ve been experiencing symptoms that have left me feeling drained and lethargic. I am working with doctors so I can better understand my condition.

Until I can get my health back to a place where I feel I can perform at an elite level and help my team, I will not be joining the Blackhawks for training camp. I do not have a timetable for when I will rejoin the team. I am extremely disappointed, but it wouldn’t be fair to myself or my teammates to attempt to play in my current condition

I am grateful for the continuous support from and ongoing communication with the Blackhawks organization. Stan Bowman, Rocky Wirtz, Danny Wirtz, Jeremy Colliton and my teammates have been nothing but understanding of my situation, and I appreciate them standing by me.

To Blackhawks fans, I will continue to do whatever I can to get back on the ice and return to play the game I love for the team I love. I will not be making any further comment at this time and ask everyone to please respect my privacy as I focus on my health and recovery.”

Obviously Toews’ health is the top priority here, especially in the wake of the sincerely scary news of Henrik Lunqvist’s imminent open heart surgery. Hopefully Whatever is ailing Toews is something that can be managed so that he can have a normal life, even if that life is now away from hockey. And on the heels (or wrists) of Kirby Dach’s ostensible season-ending surgery from the broken wrist he sustained in an exhibition match in the International Unpaid Boy Exhibition, the Hawks season seems like a foregone conclusion of being abjectly awful, even if they were long odds if everyone was reasonably healthy. This begs several questions, namely just how long Keith and Garbage Dick are going to endure what is sure to be an incoherent mess on the ice and in the locker room with no Toews to buffer between the players and the incompetent and justifiably outwardly disrespected Jeremy Bevington. And naturally, this will give President Stan even more cover to stay with Beto O’Colliton’s ineptitude despite what may very well end up being the worst record in the league because his top two centers were completely gone.

Either way, it’s time everyone involved strapped in and adjusted expectations, as this situation is rounding the corner from “frustratingly inept” to “Fun Bad” at a breakneck pace, and even if Toews is feeling better by the midpoint of the season, there should be no reason for him to come back early and risk injury and covid exposure. Sit tight and get well.

Everything Else Hockey

The Egg Nog Has Gone Bad, And Other Housekeeping Items

By Matt McClure 2461

There are people and outlets out there that will demure and deflect in situations like this, where a disaster could be spotted a mile away and was called out at the time, and still failed to be avoided. This is not such an outlet, never has been and never will be.

I fucking told you so.

Exhibit A on October 29th :

 

Exhibit B on December 23rd:

https://twitter.com/CRoumeliotis/status/1341912157433245696

So Kirby Dach had his hand hanging onto the rest of his body by the gristle, and for what? This was AN EXHIBITION game in an exhibition tournament that is unpaid, and Dach has literally nothing to prove in, and that the Hawks cannot reasonably glean any scouting information from as he’s playing against other (unpaid) children. There are simply no reasonable arguments to be made towards the fact that Dach wanted to play and he wanted to win a championship for his country. And that the Hawks front office allowed this at any level is patently ludicrous. There is enough of an adjustment to go from a junior hockey slate of games to the NHL even aside from the level of competition, and that was prior to the whole of society (including the NHL schedule) thrown into the blender with covid. It was readily apparent that as the season last year approached the 50 game mark Dach hit a lull, so why put extra miles on him in games that are of lesser competition? None of it makes sense, and now the Hawks are in an even deeper pile of shit as far as their roster construction is concerned than they were before.

This Dach injury, along with Dylan Strome still yet to be signed and languishing in RFA purgatory led the Hawks to go out and sign whatever is left of Carl Soderberg for a mildo to put a band aid over the shotgun wound that is now their center depth. At one point Soderberg could have been considered depth scoring who will give you 15 goals whether they’re needed or not, but he has been upside down in possession both in straight numbers and relative to his team his entire career, and now at 35, it’s unlikely there is going to be a radical shift in that trend. It also begs the question why the Hawks are signing all of the exact same type of guy with Soderberg now being added to Lucas Wallmark and Matthias Janmark, quote-unquote two-way players who offer next to nothing offensively and generally get domed in possession, when David Kampf has been on this roster for years and has generally flipped the ice when given the opportunity, but that feeds into the next problem here. Anyone who has seen Coach Kelvin Gemstone’s usage and deployment, particularly in the playoffs against Vegas, knows that there is no way in hell that he is going to maximize whatever it is this rabble can produce by giving them the zone starts and matchups they’ll need. And of course, the added insult to this is perennial 30 goal scorer Mike Hoffman, pain in the ass as he and that wife of his might be, just signed on for a PTO in St. Louis. But again, that’s what Magic Training camp is for (again).

The entire league’s schedule was announced right before the holiday, and in order to simplify logistics and limit exposure, for this abbreviated 56 game intradivisional-only campaign, teams will play mini two and three game series, similar to NCAA and sometimes AHL scheduling. Again, it’s a rare occasion that the NHL actually gets something right, but if they’re not going to bubble up, this is probably the best route, and that also leads into some practical matters here.

Given how life has intruded in many different ways for everyone over the past nine months (and counting), that’s left things with basically a skeleton crew still here at FFUDHQ. It’ll basically be just me and AJ covering things the vast majority of the time, with Pullega and Hess still only pinch hitting occasionally and Rose and Sam moving on. As a result, we will only be doing a preview and wrap once per “series”, before and after, and covering anything major that happens in between should it become necessary.

We also, at some point will be returning to an ad-based model here, as the subscription model made much more sense when Sam was churning out the content here that replaced the print program. As always, we’ll make every effort to keep the ads as unobtrusive as possible, and if you’re getting ads for hentai and mail order spouses on here, that’s just what google is gathering from your search history, not us putting gross ads here.

Given both of those factors, we’re now taking submissions for contributors to any who are interested. The compensation a few extra bucks in your pocket a month depending on the traffic-based revenue, so there isn’t any misunderstanding on that front. And since all we have left are straight white dudes as regular contributors, more diverse voices are encouraged to inquire. You can email McClure@FaxesFromUncleDale.com or send a DM to the @RealFansProgram account.