Hockey

Game #34: Wild 3, Hawks 5 – I’m Just Trying to Keep My Head Above the Ground

By Rose Rankin 1912 0

Patrick Kane picked a good time to have a hat trick. Yes, the third goal was an empty netter but you know what? After the debacle against St. Louis last night someone had to step up and it might as well be Kane. This team needed to bounce back in any way at all, and this game at the very least shows that they haven’t totally quit. Let’s take a look:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

–The Hawks proved yet again that they’re specialists at blowing a multi-goal lead. Yet, tonight was definitely not as egregious as Saturday against the Blues. The Hawks played well in the first in fact, going up 2-0 thanks to Patrick Kane’s give-a-shit meter hovering around 6.5 for a while. Hell, one of those goals was even on the power play, so things were looking up. Unfortunately Kirby Dach took a penalty immediately after the second goal, and that led to the Wild’s first, but overall the Hawks were decent—they only gave up 9 shots in the first, had a 50 CF% at evens, and yes, they were in fact winning.

–That all changed, of course, when noted offensive powerhouse Kevin Fiala went off for a couple goals. He tied it at 2 in the second, the Hawks went back ahead on David Kampf‘s redirect of a Connor Murphy shot, and then Fiala tied it again. This is obviously frustrating since they cannot hold a lead to save their lives, but it wasn’t the ass-waxing they got in the span of just a couple minutes against the Blues last night.

–Olli Maatta had a tough night. He got burned on Fiala’s first goal, which was a blocked pass by Kane and then Maatta just couldn’t come anywhere close to catching him. And it was Maatta’s skate that redirected Fiala’s shot and became his second goal, tying the game yet again at 3. The first was definitely his fault, if you can consider slowness as a personal failing (I can and do), but the second was just one of those things that happens. Again, maddening to see them blow a lead but it was such a weird situation there’s not much you can point to that could or should have been different.

–And besides, that luck came back around to the Hawks with Connor Murphy’s shot (there he is again!) that was crazily redirected by Saad going up and over Kaapo Kahkonen for the go-ahead goal. It wasn’t the prettiest or most coherent of strategies, but whatever, we’ll take it. I spent the remaining four minutes of the game gnawing at my fingernails expecting them to blow it again, and I can only imagine most of the crowd at the UC felt the same way.

–But, lo and behold, Garbage Dick staved off a total collapse with the empty netter than sealed it.

–Stupid Alex Nylander was on the second line with Strome and Kane, and he assisted on Kane’s first goal so of course we’ll now see him in the top 6 again until he has another night like last night, with 4,872 dumb plays being out of position. He was already back to his clueless antics later in the game, with a lazy dump-in from the wrong side of center that became a late icing. It didn’t lead to a goal and it wasn’t the end of the world, but it’s just more evidence of careless stupidity and a lack of awareness on Nylander’s part. All I can figure is that Bowman et. al are so terrified of acknowledging the short-sightedness of trading Jokiharju for this jamoke that they’re determined to shoehorn him anywhere and everywhere, as long as it’s not in the AHL. Nylander constantly looks surprised and frightened when the puck comes his way, and one pass to one of the most talented scorers in the league doesn’t change that.

So this wasn’t exactly a dominant performance, but it was definitely what the Hawks needed. They gave up a very acceptable 26 shots, and although their possession numbers in the second and third were underwater, they managed to keep their shit together even after giving up the lead twice, and it paid off. I guess the downside is that Jeremy Colliton keeps his job a little bit longer, but that’s a price I can deal with if it means not watching the hot mess express for a second night in a row.

Line of the Night: “Every time he’s tried that in the NHL it hasn’t worked—you’re not playing 18-year-olds.” —Pat Foley criticizing Kirby Dach for a nifty move that was well defended, because apparently yelling at the kids is helpful right now.

Football

Week 15 – Bears 13, Packers 21: Somewhere Between A Bang And A Whimper

By Sam Fels 1421 0

The Bears season ended when Jesper Horsted couldn’t find Allen Robinson on a lateral. That’s a sentence I just wrote. And it’s true. And it probably sums up the absurdity of what this Bears season has been. In reality, the Bears were two to three plays short of extending their hopes another week. And that’s been the story all season. For all the misery, confusion, injuries, and whatever else, coming into this one the Bears were two or three throws from being 9-4. With a play or two more and some luck, they could be 10-4 now. However you want to go about it. But this is the NFL, that’s usually the difference for most teams. There are only a couple really good teams and a couple really bad ones. Everyone else just needed a handful of results on plays to go the other way and you’re a playoff team or you’re scouting the Senior Bowl.

It was ever thus.

I’ll clean it up the best I can.

-When you lose by one score, as the Bears have had a habit of doing this year, you can point to a variety of areas or players or decisions as the main reason. I’m looking squarely at the offensive line today. Mitch Trubisky was hurried, hit, or sacked on the first 12 dropbacks he made. David Montgomery was looking at people in his grill every run as soon as getting the ball. The Bears couldn’t do much in the first half simply because they couldn’t block it. But that’s been the story all season.

-Which made this another week that Matt Nagy was too stubborn in sticking to the offense he wishes to run instead of the one he can. We barely saw any of the rollouts, or play-action, or I-formation, or QB runs that were the order of the day against Dallas. The Bears couldn’t create a pocket, and yet Nagy didn’t think of moving it until it was too late. And I’ll argue that Mitch made a lot of plays where he simply had to improvise, which should have been by design. I’m not saying Mitch had a great game, and we’ll get to him in a minute, but once again he wasn’t given much help by his coach.

The process should be starting with what your QB and offense can do and do well and sprinkle in the other stuff you want to do in time. Nagy has spent all season starting with the stuff he wants to do and sprinkling in what his offense can. We thought he had turned a corner. He didn’t.

-We generally have a policy of not complaining about officials at the top of the menu if at all, but the call on Cordarrelle Patterson on the punt turned the whole game. It was a perfect play, it just looked like it wasn’t at first, and the refs went with their gut instead of the rules. Even in our dreamiest visions of the offense, they would need turnovers and short fields and turnovers to boost them. Even if that turnover resulted in a first down or two only and a field goal, and you chalk off the touchdown the Packers got right after, the Bears win. The Bears have only themselves to blame, but they didn’t get much luck either.

-Earlier in the season, I was would make dagger-eyes at the defense when they gave up a game-winning drive when it was in their hands, as they did against Oakland, San Diego, Philadelphia, and Los Angeles, and did their best to do against Denver. Still, they were holding opponents under 20, which is supposed to be enough.

Today, they got it up their ass on two drives on the third quarter, and a good portion of that was just not making tackles. And that isn’t anything other than just not doing it. You have to get guys to the ground and the Bears didn’t. Back that up with only getting to Rodgers a handful to times and sometimes on blitzes, and that’s not good enough. They made enough plays to keep the Bears in it and give themselves a chance, but that’s not enough. Look anywhere you want on the unit, but in this type of game you have to bring it all. They didn’t bring quite enough.

-Right, so Mitch. Hardly perfect, hardly a disaster. Certainly competed. Could have had more interceptions on another day. Was inches from a big play with Miller on the 4th down. Didn’t make the right throws on the other fourth downs. Did make some great plays on the run. If it were earlier in the season you’d say it would be enough to work with going forward. I don’t know what you say now. But…13 points isn’t enough. You have to finish. And he was only a couple plays from finishing enough to win, but that’s what we keep saying.

-So it’ll be another playoff-less year. We’ve seen far worse Bears teams. The expectations are what make this so disappointing. But there’s more than enough to build on with this team for it to contend next year. And maybe you just make the five plays you didn’t this year to get the three to four wins you don’t have now. Football’s weird. It also sucks.

Hockey

Game #34 – Wild vs. Hawks Preview: Collecting Fallout From The Blast

By Sam Fels 1690 0

vs.

RECORDS: Wild 16-12-5   Hawks 12-15-6

PUCK DROP: 6pm

TV: NBCSN Chicago

BEYOND THE WALL: Hockey Wilderness

Well, should be quite the tasty atmosphere at the United Center this evening, no?

Tonight is all about finding out if this is bottom or not. The Hawks will be in front of what has to be a cantankerous home crowd after their worst loss of the season last night (which is saying something, given the variety of defeats already on offer). And it might not be all that full, though it probably won’t be anywhere near Bulls-levels (yet). Any sign of more incompetence is going to be met with boos and a hearty amount, you would think. Have the Hawks ever faced that from their fans? Their previous seasons have mostly been met with indifference. This will not be that.

And it’s really about how the team responds to not just that. After a crushing setback and their recent form, we’ll know if they have totally quit tonight. Or do they still have some professional pride left, which can be just called fear of embarrassment, and scrape together something to at least let everyone know they aren’t in fact dead? They may hate the coach, they may think the front office has steered them wrong, but surely they don’t want to keep getting their dicks kicked in and save some face? If they can’t manage anything beyond limp for most of the contest tonight, major changes have to be made the very next day. They won’t be, but they’ll need to be. If you’ve ever wished for Jonathan Toews – Player/Coach, you just might get it Monday.

As for the Wild, this nothing squad has managed to go 14 games with only one loss in regulation, going 9-1-4 and zooming up the standings to the fringe of the playoff spots. They’ve overcome inevitability catching up with Devan Dubnyk, and then injury, and have made do with Alex Stalock and Kaapo Kahkonen. They’ve have a revitalized and healthy Parise scoring goals. Somehow Eric Staal is still a genuine #1 center, and Jason Zucker is also pouring them in.

And once again Bruce Boudreau has employed a system that is fine with giving up attempts and shots from the outside, but gives up very few quality chances. The Wild are a middling at best Corsi team, but have the second best xGA/60 in the league. They can’t create a ton, but they don’t give up much and are more than happy to collapse to the middle of their zone and let you have it on the perimeter. What an interesting idea. When the chance comes, they will get up the ice off turnovers and mistakes and have the d-men to join in as well in Suter, Dumba, Spurgeon (when healthy) and Brodin. And even if Boudreau’s “structure” at times gets loose, his charges show up every night and skate hard because they have to.

In the end, it’s not likely to go anywhere, but he usually gets the most out of what he has. The Wild can’t ask for much more, as they try to figure out how to transition their next phase.

For the Hawks, there aren’t that many lineup changes they can make. Robin Lehner will start. Alex Nylander should be thrown into a trash pile somewhere along Damen Avenue, but it seems orders from on high will dictate that he be jammed into the lineup in the faint hope that he magically turns into something. Dylan Sikura should be back in the lineup, but he’s run afoul of both coach and front office in just two games it seems.

If Colliton were really going to go down swinging, he’d promote Boqvist with Murphy and put Dach in between Saad and Kubalik. Why? Because you’re already suffering lapses defensively and missed checks and turnovers, so how much worse can the kids be than what the vets have given him? What are we hanging onto here? If it’s time to move on from what came before, and it is, why wait around? Want to make sure you’re in dead last first?

Really curious to see how the whole organization responds to this weekend. Something tells me they won’t be able to stick their head in the sand much longer.

Hockey

Game #34 – Wild vs. Hawks Spotlight: Parise The Reaper

By Sam Fels 1322 0

Earlier in the season, when the Wild couldn’t get a save and were even rooted behind the Hawks in the standings, there was a feeling that Bruce Boudreau wasn’t long for this job. And the joke going in hockey circles was, “Zach Parise kills another coach.” It’s funny because you don’t think of Parise that way. He’s never been considered a loaf, doesn’t bark in the press, and is generally thought to be a heart-on-sleeve player.

And yet Boudreau is the 10th coach Parise has played for in his 15 seasons. Which is a pretty stunning total. Some of that is attributed to Lou Lamoriello’s itchy trigger-finger in New Jersey, where he had a habit of installing himself behind the bench. Some of that is Minnesota’s general incompetence, though Boudreau has stuck longer than anyone else. It hasn’t amounted to much, no playoff series wins under Boudreau and only two first-round triumphs under Mike Yeo for Parise’s Minnesota stay. And maybe that’s the problem.

When Parise and Ryan Suter signed, at the time, those mammoth deals in St. Paul, they were thought to be franchise-turning players. Suter has arguably been that, but Parise has always felt a shade below that. His one 4o-goal season was 10 years ago now, and a consistent 30-goal guy is what his ceiling has always been. That paycheck suggests, or suggested, that he is a top line player. On a truly good team, he’s probably a second-liner, and he’d be a great second-liner to have. But partially due to that paycheck, the Wild have never been able to find another winger to slot him down to that. They wanted it to be Mikael Granlund. He never could really manage it. Jason Zucker occasionally flashes that, but you know what he is at this point. And maybe it’s that lack of truly elite production that keeps Parise’s teams from achieving much, and gets coaches fired.

As it is with these things though, Parise’s salary has come back to the pack and now that $7.5M number seems just about right for a player who gets you 25-30 goals. Which is what Parise will do if he stays healthy, which is always the big question mark with him. That can’t be used as an excuse for the Wild anymore.

Parise is on pace for slightly more this year because of a SH% spike, as he’s up near 17%. But his attempts and chances are down from career norms, and if he can’t keep up the luck he might flatten out hardcore, which would deprive the Wild of even more scoring they don’t really have. And then finally the sword of Democles might fall upon Boudreau, and Parise will have another scalp.

Hilariously, Parise is signed for another five years, to his 40th birthday. Buying out Parise isn’t really an option, because were the Wild to do that his cap hit would stay on the books until 2030. And there would still be a cap hit of $6.7M or more for three seasons starting in 2022. There would be no relief. Until a new CBA, the Wild can’t even hope Parise retires when he becomes useless thanks to cap recapture penalties. Luckily, with his injury history, that will most likely provide an out for both parties should it come to that.

How many more coaches between now and then, though?

Hockey

Game #34 – Wild vs. Hawks: Hedley Lamarr’s Mugs, Pugs, And Thugs

By Sam Fels 1515 0

Bruce Boudreau – Not because he’s annoying, though he can be, but because of jealousy. The Wild aren’t going anywhere either, and have yet to win a playoff round under him. But you can’t argue that he doesn’t maximize whatever he has, at least in the regular season. Last year was the aberration, but he’s got this nothing squad three points out of a playoff spot at the moment and haven’t lost in 12. Wouldn’t that be nice? A coach who can take the pieces he’s given and fit a system to them to get them playing at least relevant hockey for a stretch?

Ryan Hartman – Leads the Wild in penalty minutes, which is seemingly all the Hawks ever wanted out of him. He may have been the last pick in a first round, but he’s yet another first round pick who ended up doing dick for the Hawks. And now that his NHL career is hanging by a thread, he’s upping the bullshit. Andrew Shaw’s line continues.

Jason Zucker – Here come more goals against the Hawks.

Hockey

Game #34 – Wild vs. Hawks: Lineups & How They Were Built

By Sam Fels 1124 0

Wild

Notes: On the injury front, Koivu and Spurgeon have traveled on this trip for the Wild but tonight will probably come too early for them to return to the lineup…Staal has six points in his last five…Parise scored last night, which was his first in six…they’re really starting to warm up to this Soucy character, who only came up when Spurgeon got hurt…Kahkonen has been a surprise, and has bailed them out a bit with Dubnyk doing whatever it was he was playing at…

Hawks

Notes: What a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Hockey

Game #33 – I Wait, But I’m Too Tired to Play Pretend. I’ll Suffocate Until the End – Hawks 3, Blues 4

By John Pullega 2114 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

A win tonight would have been a steal. Other than Crawford, Toews, Saad, Kane, and Murphy, the Hawks did absolutely nothing to deserve to even be up by three, let alone be up by two with just seven minutes to go. This was a monumental breakdown that should cost everyone their jobs after tonight, but it won’t, because the organ-I-zation can do no wrong ever. You knew it was coming, but it doesn’t make it feel much better. Let’s tidy up.

– Before the third, Corey Crawford was once again the best player on the ice. And despite the last two goals, which Crawford probably could have had, Crawford kept this trash heap in it for as long as he could. Until the last seven minutes or so, Crawford was the number-one star, but you can only hold the dam for so long before the facts that Alex Nylander, Dennis Gilbert, and Brent Seabrook are skating serious minutes for this team bear shit fruit from their gigantic ass tree.

– Brandon Saad continues to shine as the best all-around skater on this wet-bag-of-diarrhea team. His first goal was certainly an excuse me, but his second one reminds you of what he could be if he showed that kind of finish regularly. The whole play was beautiful, really.

First, Toews pickpocketed Jabe O’Meester on the boards, which was right in line with the Blackhawks’s consistent member-berries theme of 2019. After the steal, Toews used Kubalik as a screen near the far post to pass to Saad. Saad streaked in through the back door and used a quick backhand-forehand exchange to pot his second of the night. Who, other than everyone but Jeremy Colliton, could have ever seen Saad–Toews–Kubalik working?

– Patrick Kane’s goal was pure filth. It’s easy to forget how lethal his wrister is when he’s got even an iota of space, but he made sure to remind us all tonight. After Strome and DeBrincat played patty cake with the puck near the blue line and in the neutral zone, Kane decided to gird himself, taking a loose puck off the near boards and going outside to inside before snapping his goal off in one slick motion. Creep can roll.

– I never want to see Alex Nylander on the ice in a Blackhawks sweater again. We all knew he sucked going into this year. But after tonight, there is no doubt that he is a total and complete bust with absolutely no feel for how the game works. What the fuck is he supposed to be doing here?

Or here?

Or here?

Alex Nylander didn’t lose this game, but you’d be hard pressed to find a game he helped win, either.

– We’ve been saying this for the past two months, but seriously, Jeremy Colliton should be fired after tonight. Two goals in 10 seconds, including the game-tying goal, with Seabrook and Gilbert on the ice for fucking both. On purpose. By design. Seabrook was easily one of the worst players on the ice tonight and the worst defender by far. Dennis Gilbert is Dennis Gilbert. These are the guys you want on the ice when the momentum has obviously swung? Fuck, disregarding the momentum, why the fuck are these two on the ice together at all? Fuck your injuries, there is no reason these two should be a pairing for any reason ever.

And this was after Gilbert had an inoffensive game for the first time in his short career. Watching him get his ankles broken off a Thomas pass right before Bozak’s second goal, followed by his wheel pose on de la Rose’s game-tying goal should be the last memory we have of him. But it won’t, because this is the Chicago Blackhawks, an organ-I-zation that can do no wrong. Just ask them.

Jeremy Colliton might be a great European coach. Maybe he can cut it in the AHL. But he’s entirely overmatched in the NHL. Even with the horseshit roster he’s been handed, he’s done nothing to show that he has the creativity or foresight to even try to put them in a position to win. (And if you’re more of a “fire Bowman for that” person, I’m with you.) Tonight ought to be the nail in the coffin. But it won’t, because this organ-I-zation has never once taken responsibility for its fuck ups. It is not going to start now. Bowman et al. have jobs to protect, and woe be to anyone who questions the talent smokescreen of the privileged.

It’s not surprising, but it’s nonetheless embarrassing. Even for a team as bad as the Hawks, allowing four unanswered goals, including three in the span of five minutes in the third period, is unacceptable. You can bet that Eddie O is putting all his money on being the head coach by the time we reach the quarter pole.

One goal: The lottery.

Beer du Jour: Hometown Coffee Stout (Westfax Brewing), Maker’s Mark, Miller High Life, Sour Monkey

Line of the Night: “Pick those up with some jean shorts in St. Louis.” –Pat Boyle on toasted ravioli