Hockey

Game #19: Hawks 7, Predators 2 – Just By Chance You Crossed the Diamond With The Pearl

By Rose Rankin 1987 0

Guys…I think Pekka Rinne has a terminal case of shit hip! After basically laughing publicly at the Hawks’ terrible performance a couple weeks ago, Rinne got himself laughed right out of the game tonight, giving up 4 goals on 14 shots. Ya hate to see it. And this shit went full-on DLR. Let’s get to the bullets:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

–Yes, Rinne was bad and Saros wasn’t great either, but the Hawks do deserve credit for playing better this time around. At first it didn’t seem that way—they spent way too much of the first period in their own zone, but they capitalized on bad goaltending and also a beautiful play from Kirby Dach to Dominik Kubalik. So it was a bit of luck and skill combined. And the pass from Dach to Kubalik was exactly why I’ve been complaining about Dach being marooned on the fourth line. He makes plays, he’s already improving his ability to hold onto the puck, and playing him with other skilled linemates will help the team now (see: tonight’s assist) and Dach’s development overall. Playing him with fourth-line bum slayers like Zack Smith will not. (Nothing against Smith even, I’m just making a point.) Doesn’t seem that hard to figure out playing Dach on the wing with Kampf and Kubalik is better than Dach centering two oafs, but whatever.

–The other funny thing about tonight was that the Hawks got domed in possession, but stats be damned I suppose. They had just a 45, 37, and 29 CF% in each period, respectively, and they were outshot 41-24, but thanks to ‘Ole Shit Hip not being able to stop much of anything and Saros not being much better, the number that really counts was in our favor the whole time.

–And let’s just be honest, the air raid offense was in full effect tonight. Seabrook’s goal was a fluky one that Rinne should have had, but Kampf’s goal was off a fantastic end-to-end play, where the Hawks got control behind their own net, moved the puck up and out, and passed it perfectly from Maata to Shaw to Kampf. Kubalik’s aforementioned goal came off a great play. Same with Nylander’s first goal. And you know what? I’ll be magnanimous about Nylander’s second too because it was a damn good shot set up by a great pass off the boards by Saad. The Hawks didn’t always control the puck or the play but they were able to get rushes and bury their shots. Would be nice if they could maybe hold onto the puck and stop giving up over 40 shots a night, but you know what they say about gift horses.

–Alex DeBrincat was excellent tonight even though he didn’t actually put the puck in the net. His ability to keep plays alive, and in particular getting the pass to Patrick Kane on the fifth goal, were outstanding. Piece of Shit Austin Watson wanted to obliterate him but couldn’t, and Garbage Dick didn’t miss once he got the pass.

–Lehner was fantastic again as well, let’s not forget that. Granted, facing 41 shots seems like an easy night with this team, but he still finished the night with a .951 SV% and absolutely kept the Hawks in it in the early going before the game was definitely in hand.

And with that, let’s not delay this DLR any longer…

 

 

Line of the Night: “That was a bad goal.” —Eddie Olczyk, stating the very obvious after Seabrook’s knuckleball on Rinne

Beer de jour: Mercury by On Tour Brewing

Hockey

Game #17: Leafs 4, Hawks 5 – Such a Subtle Difference Between the Fool and the Fearless

By Rose Rankin 2198 0

How does a team give up nearly 60 shots in a night and not lose the game? It sounds like the start to some frustrating math word problem from 7th grade that I inevitably fucked up, but no, it’s real and it happened in a hockey game tonight. Robin Lehner gave up four goals but still had a .930 SV%. The stats are a numerical funhouse. Let’s get to it:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

–Wouldn’t you know it, NOT falling behind by a couple goals and taking advantage of the other team’s weakness early on can really be a benefit. The Hawks managed to do exactly that in the first period tonight. They were extremely effective at at the cross pass just above the crease after pulling Hutchinson to his glove side, leaving a nearly wide-open net that the Hawks didn’t miss on, multiple times. The second and fourth goals in particular used this scheme. On the first goal they were set up in the same way but Kane’s shot was deflected off Ceci’s skate so Strome didn’t even have to find a rebound on the glove side. Kane’s backhander for the third goal was also ridiculous, and it came just 10 seconds after Dach’s goal. What I’m saying is, they scored a lot and looked good doing it. Which was good, seeing as they clearly couldn’t keep that up beyond about 20 minutes.

–On that note, as much as I hate to say “the Hawks had a good period but…” that is exactly what I’m going to do. Michael Hutchinson was wretched in the first period. His save percentage was .500 on the first six shots he faced. Put another way, he let in three goals on six shots to kick things off. Again, numerical funhouse. Now, the Hawks do actually deserve credit for playing well in the first, as just described, but Hutchinson’s rough start cannot be denied.

–He did get his shit together in the second, though, and that’s when the Hawks started to cool off considerably. They did have more shots in the second than the first (15 to 12), but that was still fewer than the Leafs (in the first and second periods, but also just overall, more to come on that). Possession wasn’t pretty either—in all situations, the Hawks led in the first with a 51.2 CF%, but in the second that was 46.5. I’m giving the all situations number because between the first two periods there were so many penalties, and offsetting penalties, and then a 4-on-3 and all kinds of wackiness so I’m just keeping it simple. All the way around the Hawks were pinned in their own zone for most of the second and were lucky to get out of it without giving up more goals.

–They made a much more vigorous attempt at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the third. The were outshot 26 to 7, bringing the total difference to 57 to 34 by the end of the game. Can we just reflect on that number for a minute? 57 SHOTS ON FUCKING GOAL HOW IS THAT EVEN REAL. The Hawks should be downright embarrassed, but the Leafs should feel even worse for having NOT WON when having that number of shots. And the Hawks’ possession tanked to 28.6 CF%, again in all situations. The Hawks gave up three goals in the third—if they had lost this game we would be starting our day tomorrow with word of Colliton being fired. He has Brandon Saad to thank for saving his job, at least for another few days.

–I know I’m repeating myself, but playing Kirby Dach with Andrew Shaw and Drake Caggiula is a waste of time, as is playing Adam Boqvist with Olli Maatta on the third pairing. I don’t give two shits what “development plan” the brain trust claims they have—Dach on a line with two guys who are between “a guy” and “oaf” is not going to help his development. At the same time, how is Zack Smith going to add anything to Kubalik-Kampf? (And the two of them looked good tonight as usual.) Put Dach with them for chrissake and keep Caligula-Shaw-Smith as your fourth line. And yes, Boqvist  finished above water in possession (61 CF% all situations) and had some nice moves at times but it just seems counterproductive to keep him tethered to literally a lead weight.

–Robin Lehner gave us a scare in the third when he sustained a neck injury, which can be chalked up to getting stung by 8 million shots all over his head and upper body. Luckily he was able to stay in the game, and good lord what a game he ended up having. One usually wouldn’t say that after a goalie gives up four goals, but we just covered the amount of shots this poor bastard faced. So you know what, Colliton should buy Saad AND Lehner a steak or a beer or a new house or something, because he’s got Lehner to thank for his stay of execution as well.

Can’t complain too much, I guess, since they did win and they did have one actually quality period. But it still feels tenuous, when the reason you won is getting the jump on a crappy backup goalie and while your own is super-human. Not necessarily a recipe for sustained momentum, yet, onward and upward…

Photo credit: NHL.com 

 

Hockey

Game #13: Hawks 2, Ducks 2 – Hawks Win Prep School Debate Club Matchup

By Rose Rankin 1763 0

One of the most confounding things about this Blackhawks team is its inconsistency. And tonight, that showed itself in them not repeating their woeful Saturday night performance and instead playing like a functional hockey team for most of the game. I know, crazy, right? Not that I’m complaining—let’s be honest, having to watch back-to-back games as bad as the one against the Kings might have caused me to have a stroke, so I’m OK with THIS inconsistent play. It’s been a long weekend so let’s just get to the bullets:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

–The first period tonight really couldn’t have been more different from that which took place 24 hours earlier. Whereas against the Kings they gave up two goals in less than five minutes and couldn’t stop tripping over their own dicks, in the first period tonight the Hawks SCORED two goals, and led in shots 15-12, and also led in possession with a 58 CF% at evens. They were playing, well, competent hockey. That really shouldn’t be so remarkable, but after some of the garbage we’ve seen, including such recent garbage, it is.

–One thing I’d like to think played a role in the reduction of garbage play is the lineups. Tonight DeBrincat-Strome-Kane was finally rolled out as the second line, which I among many other people have been clamoring for loudly for weeks. Saad-Toews-Nylander was your top line, and wouldn’t ‘ya know it, those lines finished with 60 CF% and 54 CF%. Who could have forseen that those guys would play well together? Obviously not Colliton. Kirby Dach moved to wing with Dominik Kubalik and David Kampf centering them, which actually makes perfect sense given Kubalik’s skill and Kampf’s defensive abilities. On that note Kampf completely bounced back from a shitty performance Saturday. Kubalik also looked promising but he kept trying to pass instead of shoot. So it’s nice that he and Dach are trying to develop some “chemistry” or whatever (I don’t like that term, but it’s a good catch-all), but Kubalik needs to trust himself a little more and just take the shot. Playing wing should also make life a little easier for Dach as he adjusts to what his life is now, which has been deemed to be up with the top club all year.

–Speaking of youngsters, A New Hope Adam Boqvist scored his first NHL goal. It came just a power play expired, when the unit was Boqvist, Kubalik, Toews, Dach and Nylander. And I’ve gotta tell you I am excited about that unit (and you know my skepticism about Fetch Nylander). But, Fetch has been playing better lately, there’s no denying that. More importantly, if this really is the next generation they’ve got to be a functional power play unit, so it was quite a relief to see that it’s possible. No, they’re not going to play great every night, but there IS potential. The Hawks also scored on a 5-on-3 where Alex DeBrincat had a great tap-in on an open net, and while that again shouldn’t be big news, at this point any scoring, and particularly any special teams scoring, is absolutely big news.

–The return of Erik Gustafsson was relatively uneventful. He wasn’t Slater Koekkoek bad, so whatever.

–Jonathan Toews got hosed on two penalties, the second of which resulted in the tying goal in the third. I firmly believe that bad calls get worked out karmically with calls that randomly go your way, so what will be will be. However, as I said on Twitter, that was pretty much bullshit that let the Ducks tie it up.

–Which brings us to the latter part of the game, where the possession tanked and the Ducks passed the Hawks in shots (and tied the game, of course). Again, the penalties were not the entire story so I’m not suggesting the refs stole the game—the Hawks had plenty of opportunity to play better in their own zone in the third and on power plays where they gave up shorthanded chances with alarming regularity. So things are still clearly a work in progress, and one improved game does not a good hockey team make.

–And the reason that defensive breakdowns didn’t result in the Hawks being embarrassed was…wait for it…goaltending. I said it before and I’ll say it again—duh, of course it was. Robin Lehner was outstanding, with a .947 SV% and enough highlight reel saves to count on two hands. Beyond the flashy shit, though, he was generally excellent with positioning and rebounds, as the Hawks need from anyone who has to play in net behind the likes of Brent Seabrook and Olli Maatta.

The fact that the Hawks got three points out of this weekend is kind of insane given how terrible they were for half of it, but whatever, maybe that Southern California environment is what they need. Onward and upward…

 

Hockey

Game #12: Kings 3, Hawks 3 – Kings Win Rodeo Clown Death Match

By Rose Rankin 1668 0

After watching this game I had to sleep on it. And get an extra hour. There’s another one of these tonight, not to mention a Bears game, so let’s just get to it:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

–The story was supposed to be Adam Boqvist‘s debut, so let’s address that right out of the gate even though his performance wasn’t all that exciting. In fact, his numbers with Duncan Keith weren’t great (37 CF% with Keith) but there were flashes of what could be future brilliance. On his lone SOG, he had a lovely maneuver in the second period that was set up by a Kirby Dach pass, showing that there may be hope after all with the next generation. Boqvist didn’t quite finish that attempt but it still left everyone’s pants a bit tighter. Overall he was fine, he at least tried moving the puck, but the possession situation was an issue. At one point he and Keith spent a full three minutes pinned in their own zone because neither they nor Kampf could get control of the puck. Luckily Crawford bailed them all out but whether or not he stays paired with Keith, Boqvist needs to at least get the puck before he can move it up the ice.

–And that really gets to the larger issue in last night’s game, which was the Hawks’ general inability to be functional. Should we be losing our minds over a kid’s shitty possession numbers in his debut game? No. But the complete lack of control by the entire team was downright disturbing. Letting this awful Kings team keep the puck for minutes on end, giving up 49 shots on goal (yes, you read that right), taking endless penalties, being completely incapable of exiting their own zone—these are still major problems this team has to deal with, and no excitement over a couple of rookies can mask that. Not anymore, at least.

–And the reason all this mediocrity didn’t result in the Hawks getting completely embarrassed was…wait for it…the goaltending. Duh, of course it was. In an odd bit of theater, the officials made Corey Crawford leave the ice early in the first period for concussion protocol after he took a shot off the facemask. This was immediately after the Kings’ second goal in less than 5 minutes, so it briefly seemed like Coach Cool Youth Pastor was pulling him (which would have been dumb because he got hung out to dry defensively on both of the first two goals, well, actually on all of them). I guess it’s a nice gesture to have “concussion spotters?” Who knows what level of vigilance that actually entails. But, Robin Lehner came in and made 5 saves on 5 shots in 5 minutes. While I love the numeric synchronicity, can we stop and ask why the fuck they’re GIVING UP A SHOT PER MINUTE? To one of the league’s worst teams? It’s mind-boggling.

Crawford then came back in and proceeded to be lights out, with the very unfair exception of the overtime winner that just dribbled behind him and he didn’t realize it after making an initial save. The barrages he faced in the second and third periods could have put the Kings up by a touchdown. So the good news is he wasn’t concussed apparently, and he found his groove after the unexpected break. He and Lehner are truly a ridiculous duo this team gets to put out there—a level of talent that this organization doesn’t really deserve.

–Dominik Kubalik looked damn good and was key to the first two goals, scoring the first and assisting on the second. David Kampf didn’t look so good, and that was disappointing because if Kane is going to be on that line, Kampf needs to be defensively competent. I realize that if you look at the box score, you’ll see Kampf scored that second goal on the assist from Kubalik, and yes that was pretty much the highlight of the game. Jack Campbell did his best imitation of break dancing late in the first and made a save on a nifty Toews move. He tried getting acrobatic again while playing the puck and Kubalik stole it and set up Kampft. So it’s not that Kampf sucks, it’s just he had a 28.6 CF% at evens and couldn’t get out of his own zone. Kane and Kubalik have a share of this blame too, of course, but we need Kampf to be leading the way on that.

–But the lines got all scrambled by the third anyway, so who really knows or cares? Just showing CCYP has no real answers.

–Slater Koekkoek sucks, OK? He just sucks. You already knew that, but watching him fall on his ass as Michael Amadio scored was performance art at its best. And let’s not forget that Andrew Shaw getting beat along the boards led to that third goal. But tell me again about how Shaw’s energy helps the team. While we’re at it, can we stop with the nonsense of playing Dach with oafs and bums? How playing with Andrew Shaw and Zack Smith is going to help his development is beyond me.

–Hey, Jonathan Toews was sorta back to a semblance of his old self! The tying goal was of course huge, but he had a couple other good chances including the break-dancing-inducing one in the first. This team needs offense, so if Toews is going to show that this first month has been just a temporary slump, there’s no time like the present.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying last night…the Hawks were just bad except for Crawford and a few flashes from others. If this is them making an effort, then it’s going to be a long rest of the season. We knew that anyway I guess, but…onward and upward?

Hockey

Atop the Sugar Pile – It Was a Long Week

By Rose Rankin 1655 0

Time again for the good, the bad, and the surprisingly acceptable in the world of the Hawks.

The Dizzying Highs

Dylan Strome: This guy gets demoted to the fourth line and comes back and scores two goals against the Kings after that humiliation. And he had an assist. Alex DeBrincat could be here as well but we’re giving the nod to Strome—it may only be one bounce-back game but he earned this.

Robin Lehner: He’s been getting hosed by by his teammates and should have a much better record, but despite the frustrations of terrible defending in front of him, Lehner has been solid. He came into Sunday’s game against the Kings with a .922 SV%/2.44 GAA and proceeded to finish that game with a .974 SV%. I still say there’s no real goalie controversy here and Crawford isn’t at full-on backup duties (yet), but Lehner could play himself into a more clearly defined starter role, or at least make the contract decision coming later this season a lot easier on the front office. All of that is well in the future, and for now let’s just be happy he’s playing so well and giving the team a more-than-reasonable chance to win every time he’s in net.

The Terrifying Lows

The Power Play: In the midst of all the disappointment last year, people kept saying well, at least the power play is better. So much for that, at least thus far. The Hawks’ power play is currently ranked 26th at a miserable 10.3% and hasn’t notched a goal since Top Cat’s against the Blue Jackets on 10/18. All the credit Colliton got for turning around last year needs to be held up against the current results before anyone decides if he’s worth much of anything. For example, his inexplicable decision to play Nylander over Strome (and don’t think I’m just bad-mouthing Nylander here, keep reading) made no sense, because as Sunday’s game showed, playing Strome and DeBrincat together can result in goals! Strome isn’t going to solve all the power play’s issues, let’s be clear, but it’s just another symptom of a coach who appears to not know what he’s doing and a team that struggles to finish.

Brent Seabrook: OK, I’m seriously not trying to pile on here or be a dick about it. For this article I have to objectively look at the team and describe who and what are demonstrably bad, and it would be kind of disingenuous to ignore how bad ‘ole Nachos has been. He finally got benched for the Kings game, which means it was so bad that Coach Cool Youth Pastor had to locate his balls and tell Seabrook to grab a seat in the press box. And we know he’s been loathe to do that. But the decline we all knew was happening has only worsened, like we all knew it would. He’s got the lowest possession numbers at evens of any Hawks defenseman (44 CF%), his xGA is 5.6 (not the worst on the team but certainly not good), the team gives up way more high-danger chances than they get when he’s out there (HDCF% is 41 and HDGF% is even worse)…I can keep going with these numbers but why? We all know what we’re seeing.

The Creamy Middles

Alex Nylander: I have no desire to adjudicate between Sam and Fifth Feather and their bet over the Nylander-Jokiharju trade being a good thing, so know that I’m just reporting what I see here. And, for the record I’m still not convinced the Hawks will come out ahead on this one, but Nylander HAS been playing decently lately. He had an assist while falling down against the Kings, which was as entertaining as it was effective. His possession numbers have been well above water (65 CF% on Saturday, 52.6 CF% on Sunday, all at evens). He’s even had some decent defensive plays, and those are pretty damn hard to come by these days. So here’s to you, Alex Nylander, for not being as awful as I feared.

Hockey

Game #8 – Flyers 4, Hawks 1 – But You Knifed Me In My Dirty, Filthy Basement

By Rose Rankin 1821 0

The fact that the score isn’t two goals worse for the Hawks should be cold comfort. They got the benefit of the hockey version of VAR thanks to Captain Stairwell being offsides not once but twice and having goals called back for it, but make no mistake, the Hawks played like shit. And they got the result they deserved.

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–I wouldn’t necessarily say that the Hawks’ defense has been GOOD thus far, but over these last few games they were much less awful than what we’d become accustomed to. Tonight that all fell apart, with our Large Irish Son out with a broken crotch, Calvin de Haan taking his place with Duncan Keith, and Fetch Koekkoek back in because REASONS. With Adam Boqvist still putting his face back together we can’t be surprised that Koekkoek and Gilbert were the best the Hawks could come up with, but that doesn’t make tonight’s performance any easier to take. On the first goal (that counted), Keith got completely pantsed by Travis Konecny, and then de Haan just watched as Oskar Lindblom skated past him and scored. Seabrook did Seabrook things, including getting completely burned by Captain Stairwell on the third goal after Saad turned it over. Gustafsson had an atrocious turnover that led to van Riemsdyk’s goal—it was a hot mess.

And let’s be clear, just defensively in general the team was piss poor. Obviously the actual defensemen were shit but the forwards weren’t doing anything better, and the abject failure to handle their own blue line was remarkable. In a bad way.

–I wanted to say that the bright spot was Brandon Saad, and in a way it was because his goal was really good. Kirby Dach created the chance and Saad found the perfect opening, and he finally finished. He’d had another point-blank chance in the second but missed the net badly, so it was good to see him score and overall he played well. His line with Kampf and Kubalik even came out strong. But then his turnover that led to Hayes’ goal was pretty much the backbreaker. So even that silver lining has a cloud.

–Beto O’Colliton hit the blender pretty hard but it didn’t matter and it didn’t even make much sense. I think at some point Shaw was with Dach and Kane? 20-64-8 got split up, which, OK maybe we’ll need to do that but let’s think it through, not just plop Kubalik on the left side suddenly. Also can we never see Drake Caggiula and Patrick Kane together again? It wasn’t meant to be that way but it was still frustrating and sad. Tonight was all process and no plan.

–Robin Lehner deserved better. His .826 SV% looks terrible but it’s hard to pin any of the goals on him (I’m trying to decide on one and failing to do so). It’s too bad that after an excellent performance against Vegas on Tuesday and making some highlight reel stops again tonight on oh so many breakaways, he’s 0-2. At times he was visibly pissed and honestly I would have been too.

–Erik Gustafsson sucks. Get this, he had a 71 CF% at evens tonight and I feel like I’m taking crazy pills because I saw how badly he played, so why are numbers lying to me? Once Boqvist gets his teeth glued back in his head he needs to replace Gus and this bullshit needs to stop. Maybe we can still find a moron to give us something more than a bag of pucks for him since it’s still early?

Overall it was a flat, shitty performance and we have to hope that maybe getting the hell out of town for Saturday’s game will help. I’m not too convinced, but we’ve all got to tell ourselves something, right? Onward and upward…

 

Baseball

We’ve Been Through This Before, But It Still Doesn’t Make Any Sense

By Rose Rankin 1511 0

Are you tired of reading these pieces from me yet? Because I’m awfully sick of writing them. In the past two years I’ve addressed the whitewashing of sexual assault, mansplaining (which for some reason has Sam as the author?? Very meta), and gender-based discrimination and the wage gap. Each of these situations were bad in their own way by highlighting persistent misogyny and distinct cultural issues that we still have in the country (and world), but this Brandon Taubman story really ticks all the boxes—workplace discrimination and undermining women’s basic competency at doing their jobs, the policy of valuing success over human decency, and minimizing the scourge of domestic violence. How could one asshole manage to do so much? Let’s examine:

The Art of the Non-Apology

See, that’s because it’s not just one asshole. Yes, this brouhaha was initially caused by the actions of one asshole, but it was a group of equally obnoxious ones that showed how odious this episode really is. You’ve got Taubman screaming weird, uncomfortable nonsense directly at women, clearly meaning to intimidate them or make them feel awkward. That’s bad enough on its own, but for the Astros to declare the story was “misleading and completely irresponsible” is, well, misleading and completely irresponsible. Dismissing the reporter out of hand and acting like Taubman was giving interviews when in fact he was spouting off because he wanted to is idiotic in the internet age when others can so quickly corroborate, but the subtext here is also, women are emotional, they’re too sensitive, her account isn’t trustworthy.

Once it finally became clear to these morons that doubling down on lies wasn’t going to work, they went with the phony contrition in the perfect non-apology: owner Jim Crane talked about money and Taubman gave the “I’m sorry you were offended” excuse. First of all, pointing to your wallet when you just hired and paid an abuser is not really a good look, and second of all, nowhere did Crane or Taubman acknowledge that Stephanie Apstein was accurate in her reporting (ya know, doing her job).

Apologizing to her for knocking her journalism might have made a little more sense. Especially since Taubman also used this opportunity to trot out the oldest and lamest excuse of them all: I’m a “loving and committed husband and father.” Listen, literally every male on this planet was birthed by a female of the species. Every single person here has a connection to a woman in the most primal of ways, so saying you’re a good guy because you know one doesn’t work. More importantly, even if you were an alien or had sprung fully formed from your father’s head like a fucking modern-day Athena, you should STILL respect women because THEY ARE PEOPLE THE SAME AS MEN ARE. This tired-ass excuse is just admitting, “I respect women because I’m putting my dick in one.” Try again, dumbshit.

At All Costs

Turning a blind eye to violence against women if it gives your team a chance to win is nothing unique to the Astros. They just really went all out in proclaiming it. Which is funny because Osuna blew the damn save so in addition to being boorish this Taubman is also just plain stupid. But we’ve seen it with Aroldis Chapman, we’ve seen it with Addison Russell, and those are just two that made headlines in these parts. It’s happened in the NFL and undoubtedly in every league more times than you can imagine. Hell, Bobby Hull is still celebrated here and he’s a monster.

And this latest situation won’t change that. Taubman and the Astros look like jerks but it’ll pass, people will forget, and front offices will continue to sign and pay men who abuse women because those men are talented athletes. If the Astros lose this series, or perhaps if Osuna himself really shits the bed, he himself will be out of a job, but there is no agreement among owners to shut these players out in the way that NFL owners blacklisted Colin Kaepernick. We know it can be done since we’ve seen them effectively freeze him out of the league, but until that dedication is turned against abusers, there will only be more stories like this, both in terms of people scratching their heads saying why is this abusive piece of shit on [fill in the blank team], and in terms of cowards like Taubman using the threat of superiority and control to intimidate women in moments when they don’t think anyone can stop them.

Same As It Ever Was

And that’s really the issue—that domestic violence is still explained away as a personal matter or a private issue, anything other than the devastating crime that it is. That’s why the Astros initially tried the smear campaign. Doing so twisted the issue of defending the indefensible to questioning whether a reporter was accurate. Accuracy is much less fraught than the former scenario and it takes the spotlight away from the fact that the team doesn’t really care if he kicked the shit out of his partner.

The worst irony of it all is the inability for these guys to admit they were wrong. Taubman was wrong for just being a douchebag, Crane was wrong for a non-apology, the organization as a whole was wrong for undermining a journalist, there’s plenty to go around. But facing domestic violence—when it’s literally happening to you—involves the harshest admission of being wrong. You have to look at yourself and everyone you know and say “I was wrong.” I was wrong about everything, I was wrong about who I thought this person was, I was wrong about what I thought my future would be, I was wrong about all the excuses I made, I was wrong about all of it. And now here I am.

The absolute inability of men in positions of power (we’ll go with sports and keep it focused here) to say that is part of why abuse is so common and so pervasive. If you can’t say you were wrong to defend this person, and you can’t say you were wrong to hire this person, then what’s going to make you say it was wrong that this abuser did what he did? It’s a culture of impunity, and unless it ever changes women will continue to be on the receiving end of that cruelty.

Photo credit: awfulannouncing.com

 

Hockey

Atop the Sugar Pile – Homestand Edition

By Rose Rankin 1575 0

It’s the good, the bad, and the moderately acceptable in the world of the Blackhawks this week…

The Dizzying Highs

Drake Caggiula: Two goals in two games from Caligula earns him a spot in the Highs this week. The first came when he was on the top line against Columbus, and the second came during his stint on the bottom line against Washington, off a great pass from Alex Nylander, showing that while Caggiula is really a bottom six guy, he is producing throughout the lineup (such as it is) right now, so more power to him.

The Third Line: Saad-Kampf-Kubalik is the real deal. Every time they’ve played together they’ve dominated possession, and they can score to boot (example: third goal against the Capitals Sunday). Whether it’s stats or the eye test, they’re passing it. It feels like a resurgence for Saad as well, as he finds a place in the lineup where he can make an impact without all the outsized expectations. Luckily Beto O’Colliton seems to have realized this as well and is keeping them together so far.

The Terrifying Lows

Erik Gustafsson: To be honest, there are a lot of guys on this team that could be here right now. But I don’t make the rules, and I can’t put the entire team in the Terrifying Lows (yet), so we’re going with Gus, who’s been demoted to the third pairing and is still managing to suck balls. He’s had four assists but most of them were a couple weeks ago, he’s got no goals, his possession numbers are underwater, and Calvin de Haan has had to drag his ass around because Keith and Murphy are a more trustworthy pairing then Keith and Gus. Plus, de Haan is an actual defenseman and Gus clearly needs a babysitter. QB’ing the power play was his only redeeming quality and that hasn’t resulted in much of anything lately. We’ve been saying sell high…

The Penalty Kill: As of this writing it was 28th in the league. Same as it ever was.

Pat Foley: Whatta jamoke. Not only did he make a mildly sexist comment about female hockey players’ appearance, but he did it mere weeks after making a mildly racist comment about a player’s name. There isn’t much I can add to what Pullega and Sam have already said, but ultimately it’s up to the Blackhawks as to whether they want to deal with the Hawk Harrelson level of dumbassery that’s clearly here to stay (and I say this as a lifelong Sox fan with many fond memories of Hawk calling games throughout my childhood).

The Creamy Middles

Goaltending: So we’ve all been waiting to see how the Crawford-Lehner duopoly would work out and…it’s too early to say that one guy has the hot hand and the other doesn’t. To be fair though, Lehner looked outstanding earlier in the weekend against the Blue Jackets with a .949 SV%. Crawford has been a little shakier, with an .862 SV% against the Capitals on Sunday but a great performance against the Oilers before that (.964). A few of the goals by the Caps can’t really be blamed on Crawford (e.g, Wilson’s goal when Seabrook was actually interfered with and didn’t just fall on his ass on his own, for once), yet he hasn’t always been sharp. To be clear, I am not advocating to bench Crawford. I am just pointing out that the goaltending has been a mix of great and mediocre and so we’re still waiting to see how this goes.

Kirby Dach: Yes, it’s the smallest of sample sizes, so let’s just be up front about that. But Dach was thrown into the deep end immediately and handled it well. At least, he didn’t cause any problems or make anything worse. And he had a beautiful pass to Kane that should have been a goal on the backhand (I think Kane wasn’t expecting such a spot-on pass), some quality backchecking, and even put his babyface in the right place at the right time to draw a four-minute penalty (the fact that the Hawks ended up DOWN after that wasn’t really his fault). There’s not much else to commend him for, but he wasn’t bad.

Alexander Nylander: I’m being fair here, everyone, give me some credit. You know I don’t like him and will hold against him something that he can’t control (being traded for a player I think is better). However, Nylander had two assists on Sunday against the Capitals and even got elevated from the fourth line (which was actually clicking quite well so no shit-talking here about the fourth line). Over the weekend he’s had a 53 CF% and has generally been helpful wherever Colliton has put him. Small sample size again, but it’s taking the sting out of that trade right now.

 

Hockey

Game #4 – Oilers 1, Hawks 3 – It’s Not Enough to Feel It, It Needs to Overwhelm You

By Rose Rankin 1925 0

It finally happened, folks! The Hawks played a solid game nearly the full 60 minutes, they had even-strength goals, Corey Crawford was back to his old self. And all is right with the world (well, not really, but for like this very minute it kinda is).

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–The big news (aside from the win, obviously) is that the Hawks didn’t get domed in the second period. And not only did they avoid playing like shit, they were actually dominant in that period. They outshot the Oilers 17-6, led 32-8 in attempts, had a 75 CF% at evens, and of course got the only goal of the period thanks to a quick shot from Kane off a faceoff win by Dylan Strome. And it was an even strength goal—who knew they could still do that? Beyond the numbers, they passed the eye test too. Brandon Saad had two excellent chances in the period, both off lovely feeds from Dominik Kubalik just above the circles. Darnell Nurse made a great play on the first one to break up Saad’s momentum and the second one he hit the post, but despite the lack of finish they were exactly the plays and chances we want to see. And Connor Murphy made the same feed to Caggiula in the second so if any of these guys could learn to finish, we may have that air raid offense we keep talking about.

–There was, however, an element of luck to all this. Yes, the Oilers did not play all that well tonight but Connor McDavid‘s speed is still other-worldly even on an off night, and he nearly tied it after calmly stealing the puck from Ryan Carpenter (who otherwise wasn’t bad) and driving right to the net. He lost control a bit and the contact with Crawford negated the goal, but if he had stopped about six inches sooner the second would have ended tied.

–And that exemplified how even in this dominant period, it felt like the Hawks’ lead was tenuous—that they were one bad break away from losing their grip on things. The Oilers seemed confused as to why things weren’t going their way, why all the bad bounces and classic Crawford saves were thwarting them, and it wasn’t until the second goal in the third that it began to feel like the Hawks were in control.

–Alexander Nylander got that go-ahead goal—did you think you were gonna hear that? We like to give Nylander a lot of shit around here, but it actually was a nice takeaway from McDavid of all people (again, he had an off night). It was a badly needed insurance goal. So they’re going to still try and make Fetch happen, get ready. I’m of the opinion that one good play does not a useful player make, but the Hawks NEED this trade to work so despite being marooned on the fourth line, he’ll worm his way into the lineup again and they’ll keep Fetch around for a little while.

–Crawford was fucking great. He had a .964 SV% and made the point-blank saves we know and love him for. He absolutely deserved to be the first star of the game, and everyone who was freaking out that he’s lost his touch should sit down.

–Speaking of things working, can we keep Kubalik-Kampf-Saad together? They had a 79 CF% on the night, and to put it another way, they were largely responsible for keeping McDavid-Draisaitl-Kassian to a 41 CF%. It’s telling in and of itself that Beto O’Colliton put 8-64-20 out against one of the best lines in the entire NHL and not the ostensible top line. And it made sense, seeing as McDavid’s line had some of their most productive shifts against Strome’s line in the third. Like everyone else, I’m confused if Toews is hurt or if he’s just in a slump or if it’s a sign of a course correction after his renaissance last year. It’s probably too soon to tell, but signs aren’t good thus far.

–The penalty kill was marginally better. There was a shot off the post in the first, so again, a bit of luck, and obviously the Oilers converted late in the third which really created some unnecessary drama. But, even aside from those issues it was still better, going 2-for-3. The power play…meh, I guess it was slightly better at times but that’s not saying much. They avoided the frustrating stand-around-and-wait-for-Kane bullshit, but they got held to the outside, which they still struggled to do on their own penalty kill. So special teams are a work in progress, is what I’m trying to say.

–Brandon Saad worked so damn hard to get a goal and even that empty netter was like there was a force field on the goal line but he PERSEVERED people. Four shots, one goal, 72 CF%…he had himself a night.

Obviously we hope this is the start of the Hawks turning things around—getting some reliability with the lines, less awful special teams, people shutting the hell up about Crawford. But it remains to be seen, for now, onward and upward…

Line of the Night: “They’re sellouts but there are still tickets available.” —Foley doing the mandated wheel pose about the sellout streak and GREAT SEATS STILL AVAILABLE at the same time

Beer de jour: Lagunitas Daytime (yes, it’s nighttime, I know, leave me alone)

Hockey

Game #2 – Sharks 5, Hawks 4 – It Was All Illusion, A Fragment of the Whole

By Rose Rankin 1798 0

OK, so it certainly wasn’t dull. That’s one thing I can definitely say about this home-opener-legit-season-opener since the Prague game felt like a weird extra preseason game. There were goals, there were changes to the lines, there were shameful defensive breakdowns—a little something for everyone. But at the end of the day, the Hawks lost to a struggling team they should have beat. Let’s jump in, shall we?

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–There was a lot to unpack with the forward lines here. First of all, Saad-Kampf-Kubalik looked outstanding in the first period and Kubalik opened the scoring while in total that line had 11 shots. They had the puck constantly when they were on the ice together—an 87.5 CF% at evens. So everyone was thrilled and of course Coach Cool Youth Pastor had to go changing it up by the second period, moving Kubalik to the top line. Now, Kubalik played really well and he replaced the hapless Alex Nylander (more on him later), but once that happened Saad and Kampf basically went dark. They had precisely zero shots in the second period and not much more than that in the third. So while I understand the desire to stack the top line, there is also the “if-it-ain’t-broke” side of things to consider. And messing with what’s working so suddenly may not have been the mark of true leadership.

–Also, can we just have Top Cat-Strome-Kane on a line please? The give-and-go that they had on the fourth goal was a thing of beauty. It does not take a hockey genius to see this. And the argument (if there was one) for keeping Kane and Toews together is backed up by nothing. They had a 14 CF% together and generated no shots. Seriously. If CCYP is going to shake up the lines reflexively, then he should at least follow the empirical evidence with the second line, maybe keep Kubalik with Toews and put Shaw with them. Of course there may be better answers but it’s not some great mystery the world can never solve.

–So back to Alex Nylander for a minute, who didn’t make it past the FFUD over/under of being on the top line through the second period. Essentially he just sucked, I’m not really sure how else to say it. He gave up turnovers in the defensive zone and at his own blue line, he whiffed on a wide open shot in the high slot, his passes were off the mark, and to top it all off, he brought DOWN Saad’s and Kampf’s production. He was like the Cone of Ignorance around Bart Simpson. I realize we may be subjected to watching this fool for a while longer but it’s going to be really cruel really soon, especially given the state of the defense, which is acquisition only worsened. Switch him out for Brendan Perlini—equally lazy, can’t be any worse?

–And yes, Andrew Shaw scored two goals. And yes, the crowd loved him and cheered wildly during the pregame. And yes, he took dumb penalties and no I am not convinced he’s worth the money or will actually help the team. All that “scrappiness” the broadcast likes to go on about didn’t score at the end of the game when he had a point-blank chance and couldn’t finish. I know, I’m motherfucking this guy into a 100-point season and if that’s the case, so be it. But he’s not “my guy,” despite what my esteemed colleagues may say.

–The defense was…what we both feared and expected. Erik Gustafsson and Slater Koekkoek on a pairing should be a war crime, and it led directly to the Sharks’ winning goal as Gus practically stared at the puck while it was being taken from him, and Koekkoek was somewhere out in the boondocks near where I live, that’s how far he was from the play. Beyond that, most everyone was bad anyway, the lone exception being Connor Murphy who was above 50% in possession and had a few key break-ups of passes. Ya know, playing defense, as is his job description. Yet, he managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time for a deflection that led to one of the Sharks’ goals, so even though that’s not his fault (he was in position in front of the net), that’s how things went. Olli Maatta and Brent Seabrook were, shall we say, not the top defensemen that they were made out to be in the preseason. The argument (if there was one) against having Boqvist up here is looking flimsier by the minute.

–Honestly the Sharks weren’t that good tonight, but it’s pretty damn sad when a guy older than me can score multiple goals on you. Just sayin’. What they were able to do was convert on their power plays, which is just another way of saying the Hawks’ PK is as putrid as where we left it last season. They managed to kill off one penalty! This is where we’re at.

–On that note, the Hawks got nothing on the power play and they were mostly just chaotic. Granted they only had two chances, but their first one was nothing but bad passes, an offsides on a messed-up zone entry, and not pulling the trigger when a shot was open. So it wasn’t their typical issue with standing still and waiting for Patrick Kane—it was more of a clusterfuck that came to nothing.

–Corey Crawford had an .853 SV% tonight, which is not exactly inspiring, but honestly a number of those goals can’t be pinned solely on him. Still, he should have had at least the fifth one. His team didn’t play well enough in front of him and you know I’m not going to throw him under the bus, but it would be nice to see a stronger performance.

Well, we’re underway for real now in 2019. There were flashes of brilliance, potential for things that will actually work, and there were cringe-worthy mistakes. Pretty much like we thought there would be. Buckle up for the rest of it. Onward and upward…

Beer de jour: Odell Oktoberfest

Photo credit: NHL.com