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Game #44 Destroyed Your Notion of Circular Time – Hawks 2, Jets 1

By Rose Rankin 3150 0

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Remember a few years ago when the Hawks were really truly good, and they’d lose some dumbass game to some dumbass opponent that you knew they should have won, and you thought to yourself, how are they losing this right now? Well, it appears we’ve become that dumbass opponent for the seemingly-legitimately-good Jets. To the bullets!

– Let’s get right to the new guy: Anthony Duclair had a solid first game as a Blackhawk. He sported a 57.1 CF% at evens (70 CF% in all!) and got an assist. And overall, the third line was fast and kept the puck in the offensive zone. It was Duclair maintaining possession in a sequence that got it to Top Cat, who got it to Murphy, who got it to the net with Kampf redirecting it in along the way. A speedy and skilled third line? Please and thank you.

– Speaking of the third line, David Kampf had a big night (and on his birthday too, yay). The aforementioned redirection was his first NHL goal, and he got an assist on Rutta’s goal as well. Everything I just said about the third line, I would repeat here (don’t worry, I won’t).

– Kyle Connor on the Jets was snakebitten tonight. Dude had three points in his last game (granted, it was against the Sabres), but the correction came tonight. Oesterle and Glass both foiled his breakaways in the second period.

–Which brings me to: the defense had some flashy plays tonight. Forsling was the proverbial bat out of hell getting down the ice to save what would have been an empty net goal in the first. Duclair had drawn a penalty and Glass left the ice but the puck, as they say, squirted loose (I hate that characterization) and was hurtling toward the open net, and Forsling hurtled himself faster to pull off a last-second save. Then, in the second period Oesterle was marooned with a 3-on-1 as he came off the bench, yet he managed to poke check Kyle Connor while laid out on the ice. Connor Murphy’s huge shot led to the first Hawks goal. (Way too many “Connors” in this game.) And Jan Rutta scored a soft goal that you can be sure Hellebuyck will see in his nightmares.

Now make no mistake, Forsling and Rutta had plenty of dumb-fuckery in the defensive zone, and Seabrook fumbled a pass into a turnover also in his own zone (which Foley and Konroyd of course spun as a positive thing when he managed to scrape the puck out of the crease), but at least we got some relief from the defensive circus with some acrobatics that were actually landed.

– I know Jeff Glass only gave up one goal, but you’re still not going to convince me he’s an NHL-caliber goalie (he’s a nice guy, it’s a great story, I’m not arguing that). He certainly shouldn’t have been the first fucking star. Oesterle in particular bailed him out multiple times tonight—he deserved the damn first star. In general Glass’s positioning is just wonky, for lack of a better term. Yes he kicks out a leg to make a second stop but it’s because he’s lunging all over on the first stop or giving up rebounds. I get nervous any time the puck comes near him because he’s shimmying like a backup dancer for Tina Turner.

However, the Hawks need every point and especially when they’re playing a division opponent, despite the fact that they won’t come close to catching this one but hey, whatever. Ideally this will give them some momentum going into Sunday when they play the crappy-ass Red Wings, and we can hope they don’t have a repeat of what happened earlier this week when they followed a win with a foolish loss to a team that’s not any better than them. Good start to the weekend; onward and upward.

Beer de Jour: Two Hearted by Bell’s

Line of the Night: “Not many good entries when you’re standing still.” —Pat Foley, describing a shitty power play zone entry (or lack thereof).

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Game #42 Runnin’ a Little Bit Hot Tonight – Hawks 8, Senators 2

By Rose Rankin 2983 0

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Sometimes you want something so badly that you become fixated on it, you turn the image or idea over and over in your mind, and eventually you build it up into a magnificence that’s totally out of proportion. And when you finally get it, the reality can’t possibly live up to your imagined ideal, and the chasm between desire and result is painfully clear. I am happy to report this situation did NOT happen tonight with my defensive pairing fantasy-turned-reality of Kempny-Murphy while Seabrook sat in the press box. Let’s get right to it:

– I was, dare I say, elated to hear that Seabrook was getting sat tonight. No, I don’t hate him—in fact I have an inordinate amount of affection for anyone on the Cup-winning teams (I know, I know, I’ve bashed him all season but you’ve got to believe me). So honestly, I felt pangs of guilt over how happy I was. And I still feel some now over how happy I am with the defensive play tonight generally. Yes, Rutta got de-pantsed by Duchene in the first, yes, he and Foreskin were scrambling like meth-addled gerbils in the second which led to the first Senators goal, but we knew they were going to pull shit like that. What I care about was that Michal Kempny and CONNOR MURPHY! had, respectively, a 71 and 69 CF% (NICE). Two of the Hawks’ goals included assists by both defensemen on the ice at the time. This was a defense I could live with, even if I’m still confused by Forsling-Rutta (whatever). As my esteemed colleague Adam mentioned earlier today on Twitter, we can make fun of Seabrook and still think good things about him. I’ll be thinking of warm fuzzy memories while he enjoys nachos from the comfort of the press box (fingers crossed).

– Wtf where has this power play been? The Hawks scored three—count ’em three—power play goals tonight, which I’m pretty sure ties their pp goals for the season. Schmaltz had two of them, which more than made up for his rather dismal possession numbers (25 CF%?? Hey, you get a pass tonight, pal!). All the way around, they had better traffic in front of the net, and while the Senators’ PK definitely blows (28th in the league), the Hawks power play actually blows worse (29th). So if this is what it takes to get some creativity and confidence on the man advantage, so be it. Better they’re the punching bag than us.

– I know there’s been a lot of chatter about the Hawks somehow waving a magic salary cap wand and getting Erik Karlsson at the trade deadline, and the merits of this idea are best saved for another time and place, but I can’t get over his dejection at taking a needless interference penalty in the second which led to Rutta’s goal. Karlsson finished the night with a 63.9 CF% so it wasn’t all doom and gloom—he just pulled a great Denis Lemieux.

– Speaking of Ottawa defensemen, I truly forgot that Dion Phaneuf was still in the league. I found he’s still a useless oaf, and I hope he goes away soon.

– Patrick Kane had five points tonight, and apparently that’s the first time he’s done that, which seems odd. It would have been better if Schmaltz had gotten a hat trick instead of Kane getting the 8th goal in the third period, but isn’t this a nice thing to be complaining about?

– Anton Forsberg was solid again tonight. He finished with a .926 SV%, and I couldn’t even hold the first goal against him. The Senators had about 35 chances while Forsling and Rutta do what they do in the defensive zone, and Mark Stone eventually capitalized after about 17 of those 35 chances. Forsberg made key saves when he needed to and he looked confident and well-positioned. Keep it going, guy.

You couldn’t ask for more than a DLR when going through a rapid sequence of games right before the bye week. It’s not only that points are important, which they most certainly are, but the Hawks also need to take advantage on nights like this and beat shitty opponents (check), and some momentum through this week when they’re facing the Jets in a few days definitely helps too. Also, you can’t tell me it’s a coincidence that on the night when the entire team sees that membership in the Circle of Trust actually has limits, they explode like a pimple and score eight goals. Yes, the Senators suck, but the Hawks have played plenty of shitty teams and not had a DLR.

On that note, I’d just like to point out that the last DLR this season was game #1, when I was doing the wrap, and now at the halfway point of the season, as I’m writing the wrap, they do it again. Clearly it’s me, so you’re all welcome.

Beer of the night: Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ by Lagunitas

 

 

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Game #39 Makes You Think All the World’s a Sunny Day – Hawks 5, Rangers 2

By Rose Rankin 2939 0

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Corsica

This year is only three days old but it’s basically been one big dick kick for most of those 72 hours. One merciful exception is the Blackhawks winning a game—and in regulation too. It wasn’t always pretty, despite the fact that the Rangers blow in possession which played to the Hawks’ strength. The score makes it seem easier than it was. To the bullets:

– The theme of the night for the Hawks was dumb penalties. Sure, their PK is good, but jesus do you have to make it so hard on yourselves? Toews had two penalties in the first, Seabrook and Glass tag teamed in the second to allow the Rangers a 5-on-3 on which they promptly tied the game, Bouma took a dumbshit penalty late in the second in the offensive zone—it just wouldn’t stop. It also must be pointed out that Glass made pretty much the stupidest mistake possible by lofting the puck into the stands while they were already on the PK. And I had to concede that Dave Lozo made a funny when he called him Jeff “I shoot the puck over the” Glass. In any case, penalties let the Rangers tie the game in the second and nearly again in the third. Penalties like the too many men in the third, or delay of game in the second (and which Seabrook nearly managed in the first as well), are often just dumbass moves. They certainly were tonight.

– And then there was the dumb non-call in the second period: Hartman’s cross-check on Marc Staal that sent Staal hurtling into the net while taking the puck with him. Not that I’m unhappy with the result, of course. We need all the help we can get right now.

– If a line was going to get lucky, it had to be Hartman-Schmaltz-Kane. They were the best line all night with all three of them hovering around a 70 CF%. All of them had multiple shots (three for Schmaltz, five for Kane, two for Hartman), and if it hadn’t been for Lundqvist robbing Kane repeatedly, it would have been a different story tonight.

– But no, it was largely the same scenario we’ve become used to: the Hawks dominated possession (64.6 CF% at evens, with the first two periods being over 70%), they had a huge lead in shots (35 to 25), yet they had to eke out goals until the last couple minutes when they got two empty-netters. Now, granted, I’m not looking this gift horse in the mouth (OK, maybe I am a little), and if this is how we have to claw our way to victory then fine, so be it. The Saad-Toews-Hinostroza thing was working. But if Kane and Schmaltz had had a little more finish on those shots, this could have been a DLR. But whatever. They did what needed to be done.

– Speaking of doing things the hard way, Jeff Glass did himself very few favors, such as the aforementioned dumb penalty, and his habit of losing his net (and occasionally his stick). His rebounds weren’t as atrocious tonight as previously, and he finished with a respectable .920 SV%. But I certainly wouldn’t call his positioning reliably good. The announcers (whoever the fuck this B-team was that the NHL trotted out for their beloved Rivalry Night along with noted asshat Pierre McGuire) kept fluffing him all night, but really they were just pushing this feel-good storyline. The scrambling in front of the net that the Hawks had to periodically resort to stands as a reminder that this isn’t a long-term solution during Crawford’s absence, or at least, it shouldn’t be.

– David Kampf got his first point, so way to go. It came as an assist on Patrick Sharp’s go-ahead goal, which is…good? I’m conflicted by Sharp getting to stay in the lineup and bump Top Cat to his off side, but again, that gift horse thing….

So despite the warts this was a badly needed win, as they all will be from here on out. This game really had the feel of one that would get tied late in the third, and which the Hawks would lose in OT, so I’d rather be sitting here complaining about how many more goals they could have scored, rather than bitching about them blowing it.

Beer de Jour: Crushinator by Maplewood Brewing (an IPA that’s 4.5%? Hello, weekday beer!)

Line of the Night: “Chicago…way too many men.” –Pierre McGuire in a most Freudian-sounding statement.

 

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Game #37 – Hawks vs. Oilers: Douchebag de Jour – Greek People Hate Milan Lucic and So Do I

By Rose Rankin 2096 0

It is well covered on this fair blog how stupid and self-defeating the concept of GRIT and FART is in this league, and yet it persists because of players like Milan Lucic. Where people should be lampooning this guy for being an oaf and a menace, instead he’s got a “physical style of play.” My ass. If you make your name by fucking up unsuspecting players AND manage to fuck up yourself half the time while doing it (see: broke a finger while hitting a guy), you need to re-evaluate. Or more importantly, your team’s GM needs to re-evaluate.

Maxim Lapierre, Freddy Meyer, Ryan Miller—these are just some of the guys who have been cheap-shotted by Lucic over the years, often resulting in an injury (e.g., Miller’s concussion after Lucic steamrolled him in 2011). The fact that Miller called him, and I quote, “a gutless piece of shit” will forever endear Miller to me. But just a few games later, he pulled something similar with Zac Rinaldo, and yet what did all this result in? A one-game suspension. One. Fucking. Game. And it was for the Rinaldo hit, because the NHL had already made themselves look like total jackasses by letting the Miller hit slide.

And this is why these dumb ideas about tough guys still exist in this league. Prior to those dirty hits I just mentioned, Lucic was part of the Stanley Cup-winning Bruins in 2010-2011, and the shine from that cup hides all manner of sins, both on and off the ice (hello, Patrick Kane), and it blinds coaches, GMs, officials, and league staff to the pointlessness of this type of play. Did having Lucic act out short man fantasies and be Mr. Tough Guy really help the Bruins win? No, his 62 points that year did. But being able to score doesn’t require you to be a piece of shit. You only do that because 1. you want to and 2. you know you can get away with. And he does.

I’m not saying that Milan Lucic ruined Miller’s career or the careers of any of the other guys I mentioned (or all the other dirty hits not mentioned here), but if the NHL wants to act like they give a rat’s ass about player safety, this is exactly the type of guy who needs to be reined in. Letting assholes like Lucic run amok while claiming to care about concussion protocols proves that the proverbial emperor really has no clothes. And now I just pictured Gary Bettman with no clothes and I’m going to be sick.

Anyway, I just hope that Top Cat and Schmaltz can stay out of his orbit tonight because they’re just the type of fresh-faced youngsters this goon will go after.

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Game #36 How Far Will We Fall If There’s Nothing Below – Hawks 2, Canucks 5

By Rose Rankin 2383 0

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A few days off, some time away with family members, a little breathing space—all of these things should have helped the Blackhawks to bounce back from two crappy losses, right? Wrong. The break clearly did little to cure what ails the Hawks right now. To the bullets:

– Anisimov went down with an injury early in the game, but I gotta tell you, I didn’t even see it. Suddenly, he was just gone. Maybe he tripped over his own wide dick and needed to ice it for a while. Who can say in this league where they tell you nothing? But what it led to was Q hitting the blender extra hard tonight. Unfortunately, it was mostly a shit smoothie that he got out of it. And should anyone be surprised? Throwing combinations of guys who haven’t played together and not even giving them three shifts to figure stuff out? I, for one, am shocked this isn’t working.

At first, we saw Kane-Schmaltz-DeBrincat, and I thought I might weep with joy. But nope, that didn’t last, although they did make a brief reappearance in the third. Next up was Kane-Toews-Saad (nothing doing). Then it was Kane-Schmaltz-Kampf (huh?). And in case you didn’t notice a pattern there, Garbage Dick led the team in ice time through two periods, and he finished second only to Keith by the end of the game. So clearly, Q has a lot of confidence in his supporting cast and it’s definitely sustainable to quadruple-shift Kane.

– The Gustav Forsling Experience needs to draw to a close. Seriously, he’s lost in his own zone, useless on special teams apparently, and thus generally worthless at this point. It’s especially poignant against the team from whence he came. Pairing him with Jan Rutta is aggravating the situation, as we saw for example on Vanek’s second goal where the two of them couldn’t find either one of their asses with any of their hands. I’m tired of sounding like the president of the Michal Kempny Fan Club over here, but this is getting ridiculous. And if Connor Murphy turns out to have a case of brown brain after Biega flattened him into the glass, we’d better not see Cody fucking Franson in his place.

– Continuing his run of worst luck in the NHL, Anton Forsberg played decently through much of the game until the wheels really fell off in the third. He could have stopped the first goal, but a bunch of the ones in the middle were due to his defense crapping the bed yet again. The second goal was the aforementioned Foreskin-Rutta defensive breakdown, and the third goal he was screened by Seabrook’s nacho-laden ass. Forsberg isn’t blameless in all this, don’t get me wrong, but he got little help defensively or offensively. Because also of note, the Hawks had five power plays and only converted on one.

– Ah, the power play. Still as shitty as before Christmas. For a moment it seemed like they got things figured out as Schmaltz and Kane’s positioning took advantage of their right hand/left hand combo. But the man advantage quickly returned to form as they couldn’t manage a zone entry on their next four power plays.

– I was interested to see wunderkid Brock Boeser in action, and lo and behold he had a goal and three assists. He and Thomas Vanek connected for three goals between them, and they both assisted on Gagner’s goal. Gee, it must be nice for a rookie with a hot hand to play with teammates that complement his skills while he also has the confidence of his coach.

– Despite one dumbass move on a power play, Ryan Hartman was pretty much the Hawks’ best player tonight (Nick Schmaltz and Patrick Kane could also make a case, I know). He was all over the ice, either repeatedly getting shoved into Markstrom, or more importantly keeping the puck in the zone while his linemates did everything they could to cough up control of it. He finished with a 77.8 CF%, which led the team, plus a pyrrhic goal at the end to make things look a little less pathetic.

– OK, so this isn’t directly game-related, but the Hawks have been running some promotion or attempt at a social media campaign called “Blackhawks Authentic Fan” which cracks me up because 1. we’re called Real Fans Program here so nice try, and 2. they’re using “BlackhawksAF” as the hashtag. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think of “authentic fan” when I see something as “af.” However, it’s actually perfect—we should take advantage of the description “Blackhaws as fuck.” To wit: That zone entry where they fell over the blue line and Saad and Hartman ran into each other? That was Blackhawks as fuck. Or: That power play where everyone stood in place doing jack shit? That was Blackhawks as fuck. So thank you, Hawks, for giving a description to the frustrating shit you pull night in and night out.

It’s obvious that every point counts, and that winning these games against the rest of the western dregs with whom we’re fighting for a wild card spot is damn near crucial. And yet, we’re picking up right where things left off. If a shitty Canucks team on a 3-game losing streak isn’t the antidote right now, then what is? Maybe the Oilers? We’ll find out soon enough.

 

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One of Those Brain-Learning Things

By Rose Rankin 1896 0

Hey FFUD readers! We just wanted to say happy holidays and enjoy celebrating whatever it is you celebrate. Thank you to all our subscribers for sticking with us and our smart-mouthed, sarcastic ways. We’re looking forward to the new year, and spending the rest of this weird-ass Blackhawks season, with you.

I can’t say it any better than Ricky did: “That’s Christmas…getting drunk and stoned with your families and the people that you love.”

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My Eyes, the Goggles do Nothing – Hawks 0, Stars 4

By Rose Rankin 2296 0

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Just when you thought the Hawks had pulled their shit together, they played the Stars again to remind everyone that they’re not that good at stuff sometimes. To the bullets:

– Proving yet again that wins and losses, and a team’s record in general really, can be deceptive in this league, one would have thought that the won-five-in-a-row Hawks would have wrestled a win out of this, especially since the Stars have been on a (brief) losing streak. But alas, this did not go the way you thought. And early on the Hawks didn’t even play that badly. They hit the post twice in the first half of the game, and that was kind of a metaphor for their night: trying to do the right thing, attempting to put yourself in the right place at the right time, but just striking out. This game could easily have been tied at three midway in the second, if the posts had gone another way and if Bishop hadn’t robbed Kane of his 300th goal early in the first period. Coulda woulda shoulda.

– Naturally with a loss by four goals one suspects shitty goaltending, but as so often happens with the Hawks it was actually shitty defense. Well, let me qualify that: it was shitty defense mostly by a couple guys, and I’ll give you three guesses who it was, but you really only need one. Seabrook and Forsling were bumbling around the net, particularly on the fourth goal. Not that the fourth one was the goal that changed the game, but it signaled that the fork had truly been stuck in the Hawks before they even got to the third period. Meanwhile, Michal Kempny did things like break up a dangerous 2-on-1 in the second, and he played much of the game with Connor Murphy, who also had three shots. I liked the two of them together, but if it comes at the cost of having Seabrook and Forsling being paired up, then it’s not really worth it. Hopefully this doesn’t give Q an opening to put Kempny back in the press box.

– Obviously it would have been great if Crawford had stood on his head, but don’t let that dismal .818 save percentage fool you—he had morons in front of him most of the night. It would have been worse if not for some key stops by Crow throughout the game.

– The Hawks led in possession and shots, but the Stars had all the momentum once Jamie Benn scored the first goal (maybe he took Fels’ advice from earlier today? I mean, it’s what we all really want so…maybe good for him?). Tyler Seguin’s first goal came on a power play for Hartman’s tripping penalty, so I guess we should expect Heart Man to get the press box treatment this weekend.

– Speaking of the press box, it’s hard to argue that Patrick Sharp would have changed this game in any meaningful way, but it’s also hard to argue that Panik did. Weiner Anxiety’s possession numbers were above water (59 CF%), but he wasn’t particularly noticeable.

– Before it turned into a blowout, there was a lot of stupid posturing by guys on both sides. I guess it’s not that surprising given that these teams have played each other like 15 times already, but it definitely had the feel of a nature show where the male of the species puts on a gratuitous display of hopping around and showing off plumage to chase away rivals.

It was a frustrating loss, no doubt, since it’s a division opponent and they were tied in points going in. But shit happens—nights like this just happen sometimes and it didn’t look like the bottom fell out, they just took a step back after taking a few forward. With the streaky nature of things lately, we should be equally prepared for them to crap the bed for a while or inexplicably bounce back against a good team. Onward and upward.

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Game #31 I Can’t Promise I’ll Try, But I’ll Try to Try – Hawks 2, Panthers 2 (Hawks Win Karaoke Contest)

By Rose Rankin 2928 0

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They needed two points tonight, and it certainly didn’t come easy but hey, it came. To the bullets:

– Through two periods the Panthers were beating the Hawks in nearly every measurement — shots, scoring chances, CF%, high-danger chances, faceoff percentage, you name it — except, of course, for the one that counts. Despite looking like gerbils on meth, the Hawks managed to only give up one goal in the second, largely thanks to…c’mon, you know who it’ll be…Corey Crawford. Up until the third, one dominant shift by the top line had been enough to at least keep it tied, until Keith got caught up with ‘ole Wide Dick’s package, and Trocheck and McGinn were able to get by them and score. It was certainly frustrating, but given how the Hawks had been playing, it wasn’t exactly surprising.

– But then, the top line! In the first period, they had said dominant shift that gave the Hawks the lead (and probably contributed to the coasting for a while), but let’s look at that: Top Cat was working behind the net, and all three of them were digging pucks out of the boards and keeping continual pressure, until Saad was able to bury a quick shot from the top of the crease. It was exactly the type of shift they need to have consistently — and until mid-way through the third it looked like that one shift might have been the only one they had in them. Their possession numbers were better than decent all night, but no other finish. Fortunately they pulled their shit together when it was needed and Toews tied the game in the third.

– Jan Rutta got his head dented in during the second period and left the game. I’m not happy about this, and I will not celebrate someone’s injury, even if he has been kinda sucking lately. What’s more interesting is 1. Will this finally lead Q to #FreeKempny? Will he be forced to? One would think so, and 2. How will any resulting reshuffle affect the defense? Franson skated in practice today, so it’s possible that Q hates Kempny so much that he’ll put an injured and aging bag of crap in instead of him. Barring that, would Kempny pair with Forsling? Or would Murphy move up to be paired with Keith and Oesterle moves elsewhere? Stay tuned.

– Speaking of  Connor Murphy, he basically saved a goal with a smooth sweep of the puck out of the net before the refs saw him do it. It takes a village.

The Hawks needed to take all six points available in these last three games, and they pulled it out of their ass. This is their first three-game win streak this year, which is good news and yet sad that it took this long, right? Next up is Winnipeg, which stumbled a little recently but beat the crap out of Vancouver last night, so they may have their mojo back. I don’t know if I’d count on any momentum, but maybe some faith that they can polish a turd when necessary? Onward and upward.

Line of the Night: “This Blackhawks power play has been a buzzkill for the last couple games.” —Pat Foley, in the world’s greatest understatement

Beer de jour: Fistmas by Revolution, because holiday-themed beers are only acceptable in the month of December

 

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Atop the Sugar Pile – December 11th

By Rose Rankin 1787 0

Since our last installment of Sugar Pile, the Hawks went on a bus ride from hell and the outcome was, well, let’s just say they kinda got kicked in the dick. Crawford in particular actually did sustain a groin injury and then had to rush his return, thanks to a combination of shitty defense, Forsberg’s bad luck, and Q acting like a skittish horse that bolts for safety at the first sign of trouble. Benchings, a call-up from the AHL, really these last couple weeks have had it all. So how does it all look from this vantage point?

The Dizzying Highs

Alex DeBrincat: Against all odds, Top Cat has muscled his way not only onto the Hawks roster as opposed to the Ice Hogs, but also into the top six where he undoubtedly belongs, regardless of Q’s predilections. DeBrincat has eight points in his last seven games, including the popping of his hat trick cherry against the Ducks a couple weeks ago. With a total of 21 points, he’s our second-leading scorer right now, behind only Garbage Dick. And that means (in case you forgot) that he’s leading Toews and Saad in scoring. I’d also like to point out that his last goal even came on the power play, which has been a damn near impossible feat for any of the Hawks (but more about that in a minute).

Up until last week, DeBrincat was on a line with Sharp and Hartman and he still made a difference despite their inability to keep up with him, and in his 4-point hat trick game he took advantage of changes to score with better players than his linemates. All that meant that when Q hit the blender he was eventually forced to land on a Saad-Toews-DeBrincat top line. Now, one would expect that his 22.6 shooting percentage is going to plateau a bit in the near future, but up to this point he’s earned every one of these opportunities, despite the moronic, barely controlled tendencies of his coach.

The Terrifying Lows

The Power Play: I won’t dwell here for long because you know how bad the power play is. But still, I’d be remiss if I left it out because there is no low more terrifying right now than the Hawks on the man advantage. Their power play percentage is 15.83, which puts them at a dismal 29th in the league. What’s worse is that they’ve had 120 pp opportunities, still leading the league here and yet still managing to be so terrible. They’ve had 19 pp goals thus far (remember, that’s out of 5,824 chances), and there’s little evidence to suggest it’ll get better soon. Their zone entries fail constantly, their personnel is ever-changing, and guys are on their wrong side (or, in the case of Kane on the point, just in the wrong role all together). It really is quite the remarkable dumpster fire right now.

The Creamy Middles

Connor Murphy: Murphy is slowly becoming the defenseman we need him to be, and who we thought he could be when we made the Hjalmarsson switcheroo. Seeing as the latter isn’t even playing right now due to injury, we’re definitely on the better end of things. But it was a rocky start, and Q still hasn’t brought Murphy into the circle of trust. But he’s adjusted well on his wrong side (is it really “wrong” if he’s playing well? Whatever), and his puck movement has improved as of late. He’s still taking mostly offensive zone starts (53.5 oZS%), but his CF% is a healthy 57.4. Let’s keep this going.

Everything Else

Game #30 Alright in a Sort of a Limited Way for an Off Night – Hawks 3, Coyotes 1

By Rose Rankin 2975 0

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Corsica

OK, so it took until the third period for this one to get interesting. But it did, and the Hawks got the two points they very badly needed against this crap excuse for a team. To the bullets:

– Oesterle instead of Kempny, huh? What did this guy do, run over Quenneville’s dog? Oesterle wasn’t particularly bad so it’s not like this decision ruined the game. He ended up with an assist on the first goal and a 54.6 CF% so…cool? Honestly, who even knows if Kempny would be any good at this point; I’m sure his confidence is shot to shit. But he proved himself capable last season so I just don’t get it. And now that Oesterle got a point in this game, it’s probably a done deal and Kempny might as well go to the land of wind and ghosts.

– Speaking of questionable decisions, for some fucking reason Saad and DeBrincat were on their opposite sides. Why? It’s like Q is fucking up the new-look top line out of spite. Am I missing something? What is it that I don’t know that would explain that? All it led to was Top Cat fat-fingering a pass and missing on what was basically an open net in the first period. This line was pretty quiet all night…gee fucking whiz I wonder why.

– Nick Schmaltz got a well-deserved mark on the scorer’s sheet tonight. He’s been busting his ass doing all the cliché things that don’t get you a point, so I was happy to see him get a goal. It was a classic 2-on-1, a great pass from Garbage Dick, and he buried the shot. Nicely done. It also put the Hawks up by 2 goals and for the first time in the game I was confident they would actually win it.

– Everyone’s favorite d-pairing of Forsling and Rutta were caught looking like fools on Duclair’s goal. Foley’s response was “somehow he beat Rutta” and I nearly had beer come out my nose.

– But his next line was “somehow he beat Crawford,” and that actually was surprising. Crow looked solid as usual, and if he’s still recovering from a groin issue it’s not showing. Midway through the second he got caught up playing the puck behind the net, but other than that misstep—which really didn’t matter anyway—he looked as good as we’ve come to expect. There was a nice sequence of saves late in the second and a big save in the third just prior to the first Hawks goal. I don’t know how long he’ll be able to keep this up every night, but we needed it tonight.

– Local guy does OK! Tommy Wingels scored his second goal in as many games. Enjoy that sentence because you’ll probably never see it again—I know I don’t ever expect to write it again.

The Hawks did what had to be done and got the two points. I wouldn’t say they looked dominant, but it’s baby steps right now. Their third shitty opponent in a row is on Tuesday (the Panthers), so hopefully they keep this going. Onward and upward.