Everything Else

Game # 14 – Hawks 0, Oilers 4: Should I See You if You Come Around

By Rose Rankin 1696 0

This game was, well, for lack of a better term, stupid. From scratching Nick Schmaltz to getting goalie’d by a complete nobody, what should have been at least an interesting affair ended up a mix of boring and frustrating. Whatta western trip this is turning out to be, eh? Let’s get to it:

Box Score

Corsica

Natural Stat Trick

– Nick Schmaltz was a healthy scratch for this game, which apparently is him being sent to his room to think about what he did for not trying hard enough recently. This was defended on Twitter most notably by Mark Lazerus who said it was part of Quenneville’s “meritocracy” this year (the subject of a recent article) but that is complete bullshit. This team is a meritocracy only when the autocrat decides to pretend it is. Exhibit A: Brandon Manning still playing regular minutes. Yes, Manning has been benched before but he’s remained dreadful even AFTER multiple benchings, so how could this be a meritocracy if he’s still in the lineup? A lack of defensive depth perhaps, whereas there are more forwards to take Schmaltz’s place while he learns his lesson? Not so fast, my frent. Andreas Martinsen replaced Schmaltz tonight, and Chris Kunitz is our other depth guy. How’s that been working out? Oh, I can tell you: Martinsen had a 45.8 CF% and took a dipshit offensive zone penalty by flattening Mikko Koskinen which led directly to the second goal. I’m not saying the Nick Schmaltz would have been the game-changing factor here or that playing him means the Hawks would have won (it wouldn’t, they would have lost anyway), but he’s already been moved to a third-line winger which is not where he belongs or clearly where he feels most comfortable, and then Q is surprised/angry that he’s demoralized and not playing well? Ah yes, let’s teach this youngin’ a lesson and meanwhile Andreas Martinsen brings GRITHEARTFART go fuck yourself, Q.

– The other stupid and frustrating part of tonight was the Hawks getting shut out by a guy playing in his sixth NHL game. And that’s not his sixth because he just broke into the league; he was last in the NHL seven fucking years ago with the Islanders. And no, he hasn’t been any good anywhere, so of course he’s going to stand on his head for the Hawks and deny Saad multiple chances, Toews with a shorthanded try in the second…really too many to list. The Hawks had 40 shots on goal and this random fuckstick stopped all of them. Typical.

– Back to the woeful defense, I’ve been hoping and occasionally saying that Brandon “Too Many Brandons” Davidson is a workable replacement for Manning or Rutta, but after getting a misconduct during Darnell Nurse‘s meltdown that’s unlikely to ever happen. It’s too bad because Davidson had a 60.9 CF% and two shots on goal, but knowing Q it’ll all be for naught and he’ll be banished to the land of wind and ghosts.

– Cam Ward shouldn’t be blamed for this loss—it was definitely a team effort—but he threw an .862 SV% which we know just won’t work. In the first he actually kept the Hawks in it, particularly mid-way through the period when the Oilers had sustained pressure. But as soon as the second period kicked off, he let one in the five hole via Drake Caggiula. The short-handed goal, also by fucking Caligula in the third, wasn’t really his fault as it was just a breakdown by all the Hawks, but at least two can be pinned on Ward tonight. And it’s just annoying that it always feels like a matter of time with this guy. He holds up for a while, even against the top two Oilers lines, but eventually a good offense breaks him down, with help from the rest of the Hawks also imploding.

With two ugly losses on back-to-back nights, the Hawks as a whole need to sit in time out and think about what they did, and I can only hide behind my couch watching what the lineup and line changes are going to be for Saturday. It’s going to be a long plane ride home when this is all over. Onward and upward.

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune

Everything Else

Atop the Sugar Pile – Taking a Breath

By Rose Rankin 2421 0

A flurry of games, more overtime nonsense, and the Hawks are basically at .500 with six wins and six losses coming at various times from the third period onward. I can’t say it’s worse than I expected (it’s not, I figured they’d be doing much more poorly than this already), but it does feel like the Preds, Avs and Jets are about to pull away in the division any day now, leaving the Hawks scrambling with the dregs soon enough. And with that cheery thought, let’s see where things are at:

The Dizzying Highs

Corey Crawford – I know it’s been a small sample size, and I realize he gave up a shitload of goals in the St. Louis game the other night (for the record it was 6), but anyone who’s been paying attention to this team knows Crow is making the difference right now, and he will by the linchpin to any attempt at making the playoffs. Even with the crapfest last Saturday, his save percentage is .919. He had to have a truly wretched game to bring it down to middling for the league…this guy hadn’t played in 10 months and had no warm-up time to shake off any rust. And now we know why—there wasn’t any to begin with. In his three wins thus far, Crawford’s SV% was .974, .960, and .947. And he’s doing it with the laughingstock that we call our defense. His positioning has been solid, he’s somehow restrained himself from murdering Brandon Manning yet, hell he even got an assist against the Rangers last week. He’s the hero we need but that we don’t deserve.

The Terrifying Lows

Jan Rutta – What else can be said? This motherfucker is so bad he got benched in the middle of a game and then sent to the press box. His shooting percentage is literally zero, and while that’s obviously not the most important metric for a defenseman early in the season it’s still pretty indicative of how things are going for him. I can throw more numbers at you (his possession sucks at just under 50 CF% when half his zone starts are in the offensive zone, etc. etc.), but do you really want to be reminded? I don’t want to do the reminding either. Suffice it to say Rutta is one of the worst on an already-terrible defense, and Connor Murphy and Gustav Forsling really can’t get healthy soon enough.

The Creamy Middles

Alex DeBrincat – Just as it’s obvious that Rutta sucks, it’s equally obvious that Top Cat is quite good. There could be a case for him in the Dizzying Highs, but I’m saving my adulation for Crawford right now. DeBrincat has had three points in his last five games, and with the exception of the St. Louis Shit Show, the top line has been pretty dominant. He’s running a 56 CF% at evens and a CF Rel of 4.7. Throw in a couple points on the power play, which are hard to come by for this crew, and he’s having a good month so far. Yes we expect him to be this good, but it’s a relief to have that consistently work out.

Alexandre Fortin – It’s a theme of Alexs in the Middles today! Fortnite is starting to warm my cold, black heart. He’s only played nine games but geez if he isn’t the most motivated, eager little thing out there. And he’s holding onto the puck at the right time and the right places. He’s got a 56.1 CF% right now and that’s with nearly 53% of his starts in the defensive zone. Fortin isn’t an elite scorer and I don’t expect he’ll be much more than basically a bottom-six guy, but this team needs depth and if he’s here to provide it, then I’m here for that.

Everything Else

Game #10 – Rangers 1, Hawks 4: Got a Little Less Time Than I Had Before

By Rose Rankin 2168 0

Tonight felt like a bunch of coked-up ferrets were let loose on the ice and we got to watch the bizarre yet entertaining spectacle. At times it was hilarious, at times it was maddening, but it definitely wasn’t as dull as you might think for a mediocre-at-best and mostly-really-crappy team matching up for the evening. To the bullets!

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–To that point, neither team was really dominant. Yes I know the Hawks scored four goals, but one was an empty-netter and it wasn’t until late in the third that the Hawks put this away. Jonathan Toews scored early in the first after McQuaid and Skjei went full-on Three Stooges and fell over both the blue line and one another, leaving Toews alone on Lundqvist. But then Brandon fucking Manning being Brandon fucking Manning allowed the Rangers to tie it up moments later. Each team would get momentum and a bunch of chances, yet frantic goaltending by goalies vastly better than their respective defenses would fight off the onslaught. In total both teams gave up 6 penalties, so frequent power plays kept the coked-up pace I mentioned. Possession ricocheted as well—the Hawks had over a 60 CF% in the first, then down to 48% in the second, then back to 61% in the third. It was, as they say, a back-and-forth affair, despite the broadcast singing the team’s praises.

–So it’s admittedly annoying that the Hawks didn’t dominate this entire game because, as we’ve said, losing to truly good teams is acceptable, but stretches like this one are where the Hawks can actually pretend to be contenders. Now before I sound unappreciative, they had a goal in the third get waved off prior to the other weird one later in the third by Kane. So had that gone another way it would have been 5-1. But the fact that these two “goals” were so strange and close to non-goals (or in the case of the former, truly not a goal), didn’t exactly inspire a lot of confidence. The core did well, don’t get me wrong–Kane, Toews, Top Cat, and most importantly Crawford, but I want to see the Hawks be GOOD against shitty teams, not just passable.

–OK, we’re already sick of bitching about Brandon Manning so I’m not going to spend too much time here. But, I’ve got to say, as much as I hate him, I can’t even imagine how much Corey Crawford hates him. That aforementioned goal was a direct result of Manning making a pathetic turnover at the offensive blue line and standing there mouth agape at the side of Crawford’s crease while Buchnevich scored. In the second period on one of their penalty kills (which, really, can we make this stop?) the puck bounced off his dumb ass and right on goal, and Crawford had to make the save. I would seriously not blame Crawford if he pulled some retaliatory, underhanded shit on Manning. Key his car? Leave a bag of flaming dog shit at his door? Sleep with his wife? Pretty sure all of this would be forgivable. And Crawford’s only been back for a matter of days at this point.

–Fortin had himself a night. Only one goal but he was just trying EVER SO HARD the entire game. From his first shift trying to split two defenders (and he almost made it, oh he was trying), to rabidly flying around the ice to being in the perfect position for Schmaltz’s beautiful pass in the second (sidebar: not complaining about Schmaltz passing it for once), Alexandre Fortin was a man possessed (OK, boy possessed, but you know what I mean). Some of that rabidity led to dumb turnovers, which will happen in those situations. But the Hawks need speed and I’m also not going to complain about the scoring or effort.

–I realize this is going to sound stupid and I can’t back it up with numbers, but Brandon Saad had a fire still lit under his ass. The stats won’t necessarily show it—one shot, no points and crappy possession at 48 CF%. But believe me, he was all over the ice, and while this isn’t going down as a historic game for him, his improvement this season continues.

All in all, tonight was another win that they had to have and that’s what matters. It was convincing enough and who would have thought they’d have 14 points already? I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call it an inspiring win, but it’s better than the alternative. Onward and upward.

Beer: Sumpin’ Easy Ale by Lagunitas

Line of the Night: “Going to disagree with him. Strongly.” –Eddie O, in a weird moment of clarity, criticizing Adam Burish for his especially stupid comment that Henrik Lundqvist is one of the most overrated goalies in the last decade.

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune

Everything Else

It’s Not a Cage if You’re Feeling Like a Resident – Hawks 1, Coyotes 4

By Rose Rankin 2221 0

You don’t need me to tell you what was important about tonight—but I will anyway, it was Corey Crawford coming back. And despite what the score was, he looked just fine. It was the usual suspects being the pieces of crap that they are that led to the loss, but you don’t need me to tell you that, either. To the bullets:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–After goal-a-thons in recent games tonight’s effort seemed rather anemic on offense. This could have easily been at least 2-0 Hawks at the end of the first, had it not been for Fortnite’s total lack of finish. Kane set him up beautifully multiple times, but to no avail. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him demoted back down to the third or fourth line after tonight’s performance (although it’s just as likely Q loves him and will keep him on the second line, so who knows). A poorly timed post by Schmaltz in the second period was another example of the Hawks being snake-bitten.

–Don’t take that to mean that there was no plain ‘ole incompetence tonight—that would be far too generous. Back to Nick Schmaltz, he had a pretty shitty game, to be perfectly honest. Yeah, his CF% ended up being 52.9, but that was a rebound from the mid-30s he had going in the first period, and he pulled his classic pass-when-he-should-shoot early in the third, which basically wasted a huge amount of time and space that could have been a good opportunity.

–But the real tale of woe here is Brandon Manning and Chris Kunitz and how horrible they truly are. We’ve already beaten this dead horse that they suck, but it’s hard to overstate just how much. Even with the aforementioned anemic offense, this game would have been tied at 1 (at worst), had it not been for Manning completely misplaying a 2-on-1 in the first and hanging Crawford out to dry, and had Kunitz not made a shitty, stupid pass attempt late in the third that Clayton Keller (GET A FIRST NAME, ASSHOLE) picked off and scored on to basically put the game out of reach. So after not being able to score a 5-on-5 goal yet this season, the fucking Coyotes found their even-strength mojo thanks to our useless clods who Quenneville refuses to sit, despite the availability of Brandon Davidson, Victor Ejdsell, and ANYONE ELSE FROM ROCKFORD AT THIS POINT.

–Alright, enough of what sucked. The silver lining was that really Crawford looked pretty good. Sure, there were a couple saves where he just barely got a toe on the puck, and in the second there was a terrifying moment where he half-somersaulted out of the crease and I held my head in my hands like I was trying to protect his brain by steadying my own, but all in all he was solid. That includes some great point-blank saves like the one he had on Grabner in the third, which at that point kept it a one-goal game (till Kunitz shat the bed). I’m guessing it’ll take a little while for him to be fully comfortable, and there’s always the chance he’ll regress after dealing with contact or other unforseen issues, but for a first outing after 10 months, this was a very good sign.

–You know who else had a good game? Erik Gustafsson. That’s not a huge shock as he’s been generally playing well, but tonight he had the lone goal after textbook passing from Toews and Top Cat during a 4-on-4 stint, and he made two huge shot blocks to bail out Crawford in the first and second periods.

–I can’t be mad about Raanta having a good game. And when Hjalmarsson was getting misty-eyed after his ovation I was basically at the point of yelling I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING at the tv. And I can’t be mad about Our Cousin Vinny scoring two goals either. I want to be mad because this loss is extremely aggravating, but of course it’s these guys who I can’t hate.

So the Hawks were dealt their first regulation loss of the season, and to the fucking Coyotes (did I already complain and call them that? I did, didn’t I?). It was bound to happen at some point, but the fact that it came at the hands of The Team of Hawks Rejects and on the night Crow finally came back makes it all the more painful. There are still positives to walk away with, though, and with a barrage of games coming up that’s what we’ll do. Onward and upward.

Beer: Lagunitas Sumpin’ Easy Ale

Line of the Night: “Good players get a stick on it.” –Steve Konroyd, throwing shade at Alexandre Fortin after he missed yet another great pass from Kane 

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune

Everything Else

Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – October 11th

By Rose Rankin 1286 0

First-Screen Viewing

Jets vs. Predators – 7:00

Because hockey is weird, the Blackhawks are currently leading the Central, but we all know it’s supposed to be one of these two teams meeting tonight. And in short order it probably will be (but hey, let’s enjoy it while it lasts). Anyway, the Predators got exactly what they deserved following their ridiculous “banner” raising the other night—I put “banner” in quotes because that regular-season conference champion shit does not a banner make—and the Flames beat them 3-0. And they got goalie’d in the process with Academy Award nominee Mike Smith making 43 saves. Meanwhile, the Jets eked past the Kings and have so far had a wobbly start, but there is enough known talent there that you’d think they’ll break out soon. These teams both could use this win, and the outcome has implications, however slight, for us too.

Second-Screen Viewing

Avalanche vs. Sabres – 6:00

Going heavy on the Central Division here, but this is an interesting matchup (hear me out). The Avs’ top two lines are good, there’s no doubt about it, despite the team’s performance as a whole in the first and third of their game on Tuesday (dumb penalties and such). Watching them is worthwhile in itself, but even more so when going against Buffalo’s version of their Special Boy, Rasmus Dahlin, plus Carter Hutton throwing an unsustainable .943 SV%. Is this the night Hutton comes back to Earth? Let’s find out….

Other Games

Golden Knights vs. Penguins – 6 pm

Capitals vs. Devils – 6 pm

Sharks vs. Rangers – 6 pm

Oilers vs. Bruins – 6 pm

Blue Jackets vs. Panthers – 6 pm

Kings vs. Canadiens – 6:30 pm

Maple Leafs vs. Red Wings – 6:30 pm

Canucks vs. Lightning – 6:30 pm

Flames vs. Blues – 7 pm

Everything Else

Atop the Sugar Pile – Hey Look What We Found

By Rose Rankin 2127 0

And we’re back with the season’s first edition of Atop the Sugar Pile. For those of you who need a refresher, this is our recurring look at the good, the bad, and the just mildly mediocre in the Hawks universe at a given moment. Only three games into the season we have a very small sample size right now, but why should patience, timing, or logic dictate what we do around here? Fuck that. Without further ado, let’s get to it:

The Dizzying Highs

Jonathan Toews: Well, well, well…didn’t I tell you just a couple weeks ago that Toews is not the washed-up has-been people were worried he was deteriorating into? The answer is yes, yes I did. And it’s probably the only accurate prediction I’ll have all season. Now to be clear, I said he’d have a better year, not an amazing year, but with the way things are going he could end up proving me wrong all the same (and the accurate prediction count will go back to zero). So far Toews is tied for the team lead in scoring with 6 points, 5 of which are goals plus a hat trick. He’s gained at least one step back, maybe more (although it’s early days still and we’ll see how well he maintains that). And beyond just raw scoring, he’s doing things like out-muscling defenders and keeping the puck in the zone, as happened in the Toronto game when he created the possession and passing that led to Top Cat’s thing of beauty. With Alex DeBrincat and Dominik Kahun, in fact, his line has a 54.8 CF% (evens), and Toews himself is sporting a 56.3 (same). Will he actually stay on pace for 80+ points? No, that seems extremely unlikely. But he’s got the speed, the possession, and the scoring that we need, and he’s starting the season in exactly the right way.

The Terrifying Lows

Brandon Manning: Yeah, you knew who would be in this category. This guy is a clueless oaf who should be toweling off cars at the Fast Eddie’s down the street from me. But instead he’s playing professional hockey for REASONS. He was personally responsible for multiple goals in the Ottawa game. His possession numbers are wretched: 44.8 CF% and a CF Rel that’s hovering around -15. And it’s not even that he himself sucks—he’s also the worst possible partner for Brent Seabrook. Nachos needs someone who covers for his shortcomings, not someone whose own incompetence exacerbates those shortcomings. Seabrook had a crucial goal in the first game to tie it in the third, but take a guess where his other numbers are at. That’s right, they’re in the toilet. And Manning had nothing to do with the goal, so he can’t bask in any reflected glory there. At one point on Sunday during the Leafs game he actually skated into Seabrook at center ice. How do you not see an ass that large in the middle of the ice and at least maneuver around it? No, Brandon Manning is like the cone of ignorance where Bart brings down the intelligence of all the kids around him. Fuck this guy.

The Creamy Middles

Henri Jokiharju: One could argue that HJ belongs in the Dizzying Highs, and indeed he’s performed better than expectations and those expectations were already pretty damn high. But just as his youth has positives like speed and exuberance, it also has drawbacks like inexperience. And so it has been: he’s leading the team in possession with a 69.2 CF% (NICE), and also a team-leading CF% Rel of 21.8, although it should be noted that he’s starting nearly three-quarters of the time in the offensive zone. And to top it all off he’s got 5 assists, so he’s managing to be a quality defensive player while making offensive contributions like everyone hoped/expected. But, at moments he has been outgunned, such as a couple times in the opening game and when getting smoked by John Tavares on the Leafs’ third goal on Sunday. However, he’s, you know, playing defense as is his job description, and that’s more than we can say for some of the jamokes we’re stuck with. HJ will at times be a dizzying high, and at times he’ll be terrifyingly low, but at least to start he’s comfortably in a good middling place.

Everything Else

Game #3 – All The While Through Every Mile I Should Have Spoken Up – Hawks 6, Leafs 7

By Rose Rankin 2670 0

We can’t say it wasn’t entertaining. Tonight’s game was an example of all that is good, all that is potentially great, and all that is unbelievably shitty about this team. This whole late-comeback thing is not a sustainable game plan, but it certainly kept it exciting. Let’s do this:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

–It’s amazing how much fun a fast-paced game with talented offensive players can be, isn’t it? The first period was a meth-infused, back-and-forth affair with a total of 4 goals. Granted, it was much more fun when the Hawks were the only ones scoring, but it’s not like we can really be surprised that the Leafs started connecting. Jonathan Toews had his fifth goal early in the period even though it really looked like he knocked it in with a stick above the crossbar (I’m glad to be wrong about the particular call but I cannot lie, that’s what it looked like to me). Top Cat’s goal on the feed from Keith to Kahun was an absolute thing of beauty. And it happened because Toews stole the puck at the blue line and kept it in the zone. The first half of the first period was probably the best the Hawks have played so far this season, and it was downright exhilarating.

–AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED? The Leafs matched the Hawks’ speed and the Matthews line started doing what they do. But fine, whatever, we went in the second period tied, not a huge shock. The real problem was that in the second they came out flat and squandered a double minor with not even one shot on goal. Not. One. Shot. In four minutes of power play time. They couldn’t make a zone entry to save their lives, nor did they set up any plays based on simple logic, much less a well-designed plan. The Hawks had nearly 60% of possession in the first, and in the second that cratered to a 43 CF%. John Hayden managed to just barely squeak the puck over the line but even that felt like a mix of desperate and lucky.

–Things seemed a little better to start the third, but John Tavares eventually just outplayed our two-bit excuses for defensemen. I seriously lost count of how many goals Jan Rutta was on the ice for, but it was at least two or three of them, including on Tavares’ third goal. Rutta was screening his own goalie while just watching Tavares walk in. It was painful. He ended the night with a 43.2 CF% and a CF Rel of -15. I mean, is Brandon Davidson really a step down from this?

–Rutta was terrible but let’s not forget about resident asshat Brandon Manning. What kills me is that the broadcast team was drooling over him, so it’s clear the organ-I-zation loves him and is pushing this bullshit narrative. What also kills me is that he scored, which you know will provide Q with enough cover to keep playing this moron. In the on-the-bench interview with Ulf he basically leaked that they’re trying to re-teach Manning to be less of a sack of crap, which is mind-boggling to think the Hawks think this is their best option. I honestly wish he hadn’t scored because, well, we lost anyway, and it maybe would have helped get him the fuck off the ice and into the press box, even just a little bit more quickly. Also, the Leafs cannot pretend to be an elite team when Brandon fucking Manning scores on them.

–In the battle of D-list goalies, LOCAL GUY Garret Sparks was slightly better, with an .806 SV% while Cam Ward had a laughable .794. Ward made some saves that definitely kept the Hawks in the game, such as in the second when Manning stupidly iced the puck because he can’t identify the color red apparently, and we had total schlubs in against the Matthews line and he had to make a flurry of saves. Again in the third he had some point-blank stops that kept it close. Until he gave up another goal, and then they tied it, and he gave up yet another one, and another…you get the point. I’m not pinning this all on Ward–in fact those face-meltingly bad numbers don’t really tell the whole story and oh yeah our defense blows. Did I mention that? But I have a hard time believing that Forsberg is any worse (is he worse? Could that be true? God help us) and because of that whole defense blowing thing I just mentioned, any goalie is going to have to bail us out. It does not bode well.

–OK, there is one piece of good news on the defensive front: Henri Jokiharju had a 72.7 CF% and has assisted on like 18 goals or something already. He deserves some power play time too because, come on, it’s clown shoes, give the kid a chance.

This one was a roller coaster, no doubt about it. If we can score six goals against an also-suspect defense we should be able to pull out some wins…but that same song of shitty defense, shitty power play just won’t stop…

Line of the Night: “He’s got some habits from other teams that we don’t…we don’t play that…” –Ulf Samuelsson, describing their impressive coaching efforts to make Brandon Manning less of a turd

Photo credit: Chicago Tribune

Everything Else

Preseason Game #6 – We’ve Been Blind to This Before – Hawks 4, Blue Jackets 1

By Rose Rankin 1966 0

OK, this was the Blue Jackets’ B-team so temper your excitement when you see that score. That being said, the Hawks were not terrible tonight, and at times they were downright watchable. Again, I think we need to consider the competition but the Hawks did get shelled by the Ottawa fucking Senators not long ago, so if beating the scrubs of one of the scrubbiest teams is where we have to start, so be it. To the bullets:

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

– Cam Ward was not awful. He finished the night with a .938 SV%, but I hesitate to say he looked good, that number notwithstanding. The Jackets only managed 17 shots, and the one he let in was on a penalty kill that shouldn’t have ever happened (more on that later). So he did the job, yes, but he didn’t look especially confident or solid in net. Regardless, it was a much better showing than his last game. If this is the best level of competition he can handle, we’re truly fucked. But he was better.

– In the first, both Brent Seabrook and Artem Anisimov scored, and although I haven’t insulted or criticized them enough for that to count as an actual Fels Motherfuck, it was damn close. Obviously I’m glad to see them contribute, but I was a little concerned about how this will convince Q of his own genius in the ANNETTE FRONTPRESENCE department. David Kampf screened Korpisalo on the first goal by Seabrook, and after basically calling him wadded beef yesterday, that also is close to Motherfuck status.

– I think everyone was relieved to see Brandon Saad back on the second line. And that line was great—they finished with a 50 CF% but that dropped precipitously in the third when I think they stopped caring/trying. Through the second it was over 62%. Their passing and puck movement right around the top of the crease was textbook, and Saad’s goal in the second was a taste of what will hopefully come to pass this year for the three of them. Kane’s goal (also in the second) came at the end of a power play and wasn’t with Saad and Schmaltz but it looked absolutely effortless. So at least there’s that.

– The defense was also not awful. Well, Seabrook did trip over his own feet and fall down in the corner in the third, but in other breaking news, water is wet. HJ (remember, this is Jokiharju’s official nickname) had an 81 CF% with Duncan Keith tonight, and while it was clear that Keith had to clean up a few messes for his young counterpart, I was delighted to see HJ stay on the top pairing and get time and space to figure shit out. Even Seabrook and Brandon Manning had a 69 CF% (NICE). Sorry to sound like a broken record, but it was against shit competition. But the defense only gave up those aforementioned 17 shots, so it definitely could have been worse.

– There was still plenty of stupid out there tonight. Andreas Martinsen took an idiotic and dangerous boarding penalty on Dan Desalvo, which led to the power play on which the Jackets ended Cam Ward’s illustrious shutout. It was just oafish and unnecessary, and while the Martinsen-Kruger-Hayden line was mostly serviceable, the penalty leading directly to a goal will hopefully get this moron demoted and one of the other bubble guys can slum it on the fourth line. Is Dylan Sikura really that much worse? Seems doubtful.

So they ended the preseason on a high note, and now can exact revenge against Ottawa on Thursday (haha yeah right). Can they beat AHL-caliber guys whose head coach didn’t even show up for the game? Yes. Can they beat an actual NHL team? We’ll find out. As Foley and Eddie did not fail to remind us, tickets are still available, folks.

Photo credit: USA Today via Second City Hockey

Everything Else

Their Emblems Built of Garbage – ’18-’19 Blackhawks Player Previews: David Kampf

By Rose Rankin 1763 0

More like David CAN’T, AMIRITE? I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. But it was right there on a tee. You would have done it too. OK anyway, David Kampf is one of those on-the-bubble guys who could play on the bottom six, could be sent down to the Ice Hogs, and will probably do a bit of both. He’s naturally a center and it would seem the Hawks are settled on Toews, Anisimov and Kruger, (and hopefully Schmaltz, wtf THIS ONE IS EASY GUYS) so Kampf will likely play wing, unless someone on that list totally craps the bed or Q continues with this nonsense of Schmaltz on the wing (both are a real possibility). Let’s look closer:

2017-18 Stats

46 GP – 4 G – 7 A

51.6 CF% – 46.0 oZS% – 54.0 dZS%

12:48 Avg. TOI

A Brief History. A fresh-faced youngster from the Czech Republic, Kampf turned out to be a serviceable bottom-six guy last season. He centered Sharp and Top Cat, and at times Top Cat and Our Cousin Vinny (skypoint) during Q’s obnoxious third-line experimentation. He was also competent in the defensive zone, taking the majority of his starts there while maintaining a respectable 51.6 CF%. His point totals weren’t lighting the world on fire, but for a bottom-six guy that’s kind of what you’re stuck with. He had 11 points in 46 games with the Hawks, and 19 in 45 games total with the Hogs during the season, including the AHL playoffs. He even scored his first-ever NHL goal on his birthday—how fucking adorable is that?

It Was the Best of Times. The best-case scenario here kinda depends on who you are. If you’re David Kampf, it would be for Anisimov to get hurt or just to suck something awful, and he ends up as the 3C. Now, if Anisimov gets hurt, meh, that happened last year and Kampf filled in just fine. But if he sucks something awful for the amount of time it takes Q to finally demote him and his wide dick to the press box, it’s going to be quite painful for the rest of us.

There’s been all sorts of weirdness with the lines lately, and not that any of it should be taken as gospel, but another decent outcome would be for Kampf to play wing on Kruger’s line, hopefully with someone not named Andreas Martinsen. He could center the third line with Brandon Saad and Chris Kunitz (for the record I am against this idea of Saad on the third line but it seems to be a thing happening, shitty performance last night notwithstanding), he could center Dylan Sikura and John Hayden, or there could be some other random combination. The bottom six are still a game of Tetris right now where no one’s entirely sure who will fit where except for Kruger as one of the two centers. But if Kampf is decent enough to contribute in any meaningful way, that will be a win for the Hawks. Penalty killing would be nice, given his apparent comfort in the defensive zone and not-wretched faceoff numbers. At 6’2” and a shade under 200 lbs. he’s not a complete oaf and seems to have decent speed.

It Was the BLURST of Times. Conversely, the worst-case scenario would be that Kampf is the one who sucks something awful and he lands a permanent spot on the Ice Hogs. The Hawks could use depth in the forward corps…I know it’s not as dismal as the defensive situation, but this team will be lucky to make the playoffs and we need pleasant surprises and lucky breaks wherever we can find them. Having another young prospect turn out to be a quadruple-A guy does nothing for anyone.

Prediction. Kampf will likely be closer to quadruple-A than anything else. Maybe I’m just being a pessimist (duh), but I think he’ll fill up space when Anisimov gets hurt—which he will, he has the last few years and it’s going to happen again—but Kampf won’t break out for a crazy number of goals or anything like that. He’ll score about 15 points, will be a decent journeyman, and probably not much else. Not that I got anything against the guy—I actually think it’s cute how Jan Rutta is his little translator friend, because if I had to give interviews in a foreign language I would be terrified beyond belief and I admire anyone who figures out a way to get through it (this makes me hate Rutta less at the same time). But I’m a black-hearted realist as well, so I’m taking the under on this one.

Previous Player Previews

Corey Crawford

Cam Ward

Duncan Keith

Connor Murphy

Brent Seabrook

Brandon Manning

Jan Rutta

Erik Gustafsson

Henri Jokiharju

Nick Schmaltz

Alex DeBrincat

Chris Kunitz

Artem Anisimov

Marcus Kruger

Victor Ejdsell

Jonathan Toews

Brandon Saad

John Hayden

Everything Else

Their Emblems Built of Garbage – ’18-’19 Blackhawks Player Previews: Jonathan Toews

By Rose Rankin 2121 0

Oh, Jonathan Toews, what are we to believe? Is it all downhill from here? Is the slow, sad decline inevitable? Should we abandon all hope and just accept that the glory days are over and become accustomed to the wilderness stretched interminably before us? Alright, alright, that’s a bit dramatic—and particularly because it’s not actually that bad. Toews is not that bad. And with the right amount of weird hockey luck, he may be due for a renaissance. Let’s take a look:

2017-18 Stats

74 GP – 20 G – 32 A

56.8 CF% – 57.3 oZS% – 42.7 dZS%

19:41 Avg. TOI

A Brief History. We pored over Toews’ performance a few times last year, and the Cliffs Notes version is he had shitty luck, and a linemate with even shittier luck. All this led to a lower point total than usual, which wouldn’t be concerning in and of itself, except that it was the continuation of a trend of decline that started in 2016. Also you just expect your top-line center to be closer to 60+ points, not barely breaking 50, and we’ve (rightly) come to expect the most elite level of play from Toews.

But as we pointed out, Toews’ underlying numbers were good: for example, his xGF% was 52.1 at evens, his possession numbers were solid (56.8 CF% at evens, 58.4 all situations), and his CF% Rel at 4.4 was fourth best on the team. And two of the three guys in front of him on that list were linemates Brandon Saad and Weiner Anxiety (no skypoint). So he clearly had the puck and had a better chance of keeping the puck than not, but his shots weren’t converting to as many goals. Saad’s off year also meant Toews had fewer assists than he normally would. So it seems that much of his struggles last year were due to things like rolling pucks, weird bounces, a goalie standing on his head…I mean, if you’re doing the right things and not scoring, there has to be some fluky shit at play that you can’t control. The problem is, how long can that fluky shit go on, and when does it stop being fluky?

It Was the Best of Times. We all know what the best-case scenario is: Toews pulls an Anze Kopitar and has a bounce-back year, scoring around 70 points, bringing Top Cat into the ranks of elite top-liners with him, and leading a not-pitiful power play (which alone would increase his point total over last year). I keep harping on having Brandon Saad on the top line with Toews and DeBrincat, but after watching him, Schmaltz, and Kane in admittedly brief preseason action, I think we need to find a worthwhile winger (i.e., not Chris Kunitz) to skate with Toews and Top Cat. Who that could be is anyone’s guess—Eggshell? Kahun? Sikura? Who the hell knows, particularly with Q shaking up the lines in camp recently. Like Pullega explained yesterday, there is a decent case to be made for Ejdsell on right wing, with his big shot and playmaker potential. However it shakes out, in this fantasy world we have an aging experienced, resurgent Jonathan Toews flanked by gifted youngsters and the result is a dominating top line.

It Was the BLURST of Times. We also know what the worst-case scenario is: Toews doesn’t rebound but rather gets slower, continues struggling to score, and has at best one winger to pass to. Stuck with useless-clod Kunitz, who couldn’t corral a pass to save his life in the preseason game the other night, Toews’ point total declines and, with fewer quality chances, that shooting percentage continues to tank. The power play remains total clown shoes, and even though he’s not really playing like a 1C, there isn’t a way to gracefully ease him to another line.

Prediction. I’m cautiously optimistic about this one—I think Toews has a better year, if not an amazing year. There will be linemate shenanigans as Q pulls his usual bullshit, but at some point they’ll settle on someone who doesn’t make you cringe, and when that combination does get worked out he’ll rack up just over 60 points on the season. The power play will be not as wretched as last year and that will help the increased point total as well. Please note I didn’t say the power play would be good, only that it will be less horrific. Toews’ possession numbers will stay strong, but his speed won’t markedly improve (maybe it’ll improve a little; he’s certainly a health nut and can probably gain a step back but it won’t be earth-shattering). And if Quenneville loses his job, Toews will be leaned upon and lionized even more by the media for his LEADERSHIP and all that jazz. The Hawks made him the face of the organization…we’re going to keep looking at it.

Previous Player Previews

Corey Crawford

Cam Ward

Duncan Keith

Connor Murphy

Brent Seabrook

Brandon Manning

Jan Rutta

Erik Gustafsson

Henri Jokiharju

Nick Schmaltz

Alex DeBrincat

Chris Kunitz

Artem Anisimov

Marcus Kruger

Victor Ejdsell