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Boxscore

Event Summary

War On Ice

Natural Stat Trick

In an opening week that has seen the Kings get absolutely rolled by the Sharks, Coyotes, and Canucks and see the Sharks roll through DC, it’s best to not make too much of  a 2-2 start. Throw in the fact that the last time the Hawks won a regular season game in Philadelphia, the Chili Peppers were on tour supporting One Hot Minute and Dave Navarro was the guitarist. Fuck, Dave Navarro was doing anything! It’s a testament to generally how focused the Hawks are to starting their season well that these sort of clunkers are a rarity in the season’s opening throes. But that’s what it was tonight for sure, where the Hawks were pretty much in “Eh, you fucking do it,” mode for the first two periods and found Michael Neuvirth up to their 3rd period rally. Obviously wouldn’t be complete if the Hawks didn’t fuck their own face on a 3rd period power play that could have gotten them back into the game. So let’s get to it all:

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evil empire at joe paterno

Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
Travis Hughes Is A Shill For SBN And Welshes On Bets: Broad St. Hockey

The entire state Pennsylvania is basically garbage. Aside from having the worst accents known to mankind at both ends of the state, the entire place, from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh, from Bucks County to Allegheny, from Pottsville to Pottstown, is basically a front end for the con that is Penn State and its football team. When that enterprise came crashing down four years ago with the institutional coverup of Jerry Sandusky’s serial child rape, the only thing anyone in the state wanted to talk about was corrupt dwarf Joe Paterno’s coaching record, and defend it to the hilt in any and every way possible. From impromptu protests by students to formal proposals within state government, it was the only thing that mattered. It was, and continues to be a grotesque spectacle.

And now Hawks fans are no different, and have proven that vociferously over the past two and a half months.

Both groups share an absolute gaping void in their collective personhood that can only be filled by defending abhorrent acts by touting sports achievement as if it’s anything to be given a shit about in the face of real life horror. Just as the Penn State football stadium being colloquially referred to as “Happy Valley” became ironic to the point of being macabre, so too did John McDonough’s invocation of calling these the “Camelot” Blackhawks at the press conference at Notre Dame (who themselves the associated Catholic church have its own issues with women and children), as if the mythological Camelot wasn’t undone by King Arthur being cuckolded by his best friend and killed by his illegitimate son. Or even if McDonough meant the American Camelot, the Kennedy family, that too is an irresponsible parallel to draw even if Patrick Kane has a lot more in common with Teddy than it might seem.

So tonight the Hawks enter the de-facto capital of the state, home to arguably the most willfully shitty sports fans on the planet, and the team that somehow always manages to play up that terrible image.

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Hello friends.

We’re going to start this feature up again this year but with an added wrinkle. Since this place is pretty much completely Blackhawks intensive throughout the year, we thought it might be a little more educational if we took a broader look around the league and shared some happenings around the league, albeit with our snapping analysis. Because if you, the reader, are more informed, then you are more happy and nothing is more important to us than your happiness.

On to it.

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The Chicago Blackhawks AHL affiliate, the Rockford IceHogs, opened their season on the road in a couple of unfamiliar places. The AHL now has five teams playing in California; Rockford visited two of those clubs over the weekend.

It certainly was an up and down opening trip. The Hogs scored a solid 4-2 victory over the San Jose Barracuda before suffering a 7-0 defeat at the hands of the Stockton Heat. Along the way, we saw what could be some running themes with the 2015-16 IceHogs. We were also treated to an unexpected roster move Friday night.

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the+island vs. williambdavis_480

PUCKDROP: 7:30pm Central

TV/RADIO: WGN for both

HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPSTERS: Lighthouse Hockey, Islanders Insight

I remember the days when these home-and-homes were played between teams in the division, not wrapping up the entire season series between teams in the opposite conferences. Oh well. Either way, the Hawks and Isles will wrap up their season obligations against each other tonight on Madison St. after opening the Barclays Center to NHL hockey last night (though some there couldn’t see it).

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evil empire at RI_Poster.indd

Game Time: 6:30PM CST
TV/Radio: CSN, NHLN, WGN-AM 720
Drones Over BKLYN: Lighthouse Hockey

The Hawks may have believed that Wednesday night was ripping the band aid on their horrendous offseason, but the true test of mettle begins tonight. This will be the first time Garbage Dick will have to face not only an audience who isn’t outwardly and wrongly sympathetic to his “plight”, but one that could very well be baying for blood every time he’s on the ice. There will be no banner ceremonies and coddling emcees to hide behind.

Add to the mix tonight being the home opener in a new building for a team with expectations of its own, in a city not exactly known for being subtle, and things could go sideways in a hurry.