Everything Else

A Return To Some Kind Of Form: Oilers 2 – Hawks 4

By 1310

Box Score

Event Summary

War On Ice

Natural Stat Trick

After something of a wonky week, the Hawks returned to the model that had racked up wins in the season’s first couple weeks, or more to the point before Hossa got hurt. The second line goes nuts, Crawford is excellent, no one else does much of anything of note either good or bad (or at least not bad enough to fuck up the two points), and the Hawks win. The 2nd line accounted for all four goals, Crow makes 22 saves in the 2nd period alone, and against an EdMo team without McJesus it’s just enough. It’s not the sort of win that is going to calm any slightly jangly nerves about this team’s prospects, but after getting pretty much tonked for the last five periods before this, it’ll do.

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Suffer The Children – Oilers vs Hawks Preview, Ear Flushing

By 1301

oil vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:00PM Central
TV/Radio: WGN, NHLN, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Tyler Dellow Fixed Everything: Oilers Nation, Copper & Blue

And thus came a great wailing from the north. A veritable Alberta Clipper of wailing and flagellation as their latest savio(u)r was felled, as if this time were going to be any different. As if their falling ass backwards into yet another #1 overall pick in the year of a consensus franchise changer was anything but infuriating luck. As if he was going to make any material difference this year.

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I Got The Rock: Hawks 2 – Devils 4

By 1256

Box Score

Event Summary

War On Ice

Natural Stat Trick

Sorry for the delayed wrap. None of us could get to the game live, and after watching it going to bed seems a far more pleasant option than thinking about this slog in any other meaningful way. If such a thing was possible.

The Hawks essentially got Devils-ed last night. At least for 40 minutes, and when you’re then down four you’re just not going to make that up against Corey Schneider no matter how much shelling you do. The Devils snuffed out all the Hawks offensive dash, keeping them to 15 shots through the first two periods and maybe three or four good chances. Maybe. The Hawks couldn’t get through the neutral zone (though not in the normal New Jersey way and we’ll get to that in a second). The Hawks for the second game in a row were the victim of some pretty silly bounces (a blocked shot landing right on Zajac’s forehand), or bad turnovers from the guys they just can’t have them from. And Crawford wasn’t able to bail them out of their biggest mistakes, though that 1st period could have been worse without him.

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What The Hell Am I Doing In New Jersey? Hawks at Devils Preview/Bowie Party

By 1149

250px-Ozymandias vs. jon_lovitz-devil-snl-46_2

PUCK DROP: 6pm

TV/RADIO: CSN, WGN Radio 720

BADA BING: In Lou We Trust

Devils Stats

War On Ice

God, please let the Hawks and Devils share a conference sometime soon so we can use that Lovitz picture more than twice a year. Thanks.

The Hawks hit the road for just one, trying to improve on what you’d have to call an abysmal 1-4 record so far. And in those four losses, they haven’t even really been close, getting fairly well tallywhacked by the Flyers, Caps, Jets, and Wild. Only the last one there would you say they were in it, and even in that one they weren’t particularly good. They’ll also be attempting to wash out the taste of Wednesday’s Sun Salutation Of Idiocy, coughing up a three-goal lead to The Filth before losing in the NBA Jam portion that comes after 60 minutes.

Everything Else

Angry At Numbers

By 1421

Some numbers to actually be angry about.

78%

The percentage of sexual violence committed by an offender who was a family member, intimate partner, friend, or acquaintance.

293,000

Every year, approximately 293,000 Americans are victims of sexual assault. An incident occurs once every 107 seconds. 

68%

Only 32% of victims ever report crimes to the police, which means 68% go completely unreported. Correlating to the numbers above, nearly 200,000 instances of rape and sexual assault are endured silently.

2

For every 100 instances of rape and sexual assault, only two ever lead to conviction and prison.

Image courtesy of RAINN

For more information please contact Rape Victim Advocates Chicago (312.443.9603), RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network 1.800.656.4673), or the US Department of Justice. 

Everything Else

Hit Your Head, Greedy: Blues 6, Blackhawks 5 (OT)

By 1419

Nov 4, 2015; Chicago, IL, USA; St. Louis Blues right wing Vladimir Tarasenko (not pictured) scores a goal past Chicago Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford (50) during the overtime period at the United Center. St. Louis won 6-5 in OT. Mandatory Credit: Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

 

Box Score

Event Summary

War On Ice

Natural Stat Trick

Well it’s my first Hatecap for my new home, but before we start I’d like to say a few words about a special creature. We gather here to mourn the loss of Barret Jackman, who finally went off to take tickets at that parking lot carnival in the sky. Hatecaps will truly never be the same without that concussively loud shart of a hockey player to make fun of. I can’t say I’ll miss him, exactly, but I certainly hope his herpes sores burn extra hot in hell.

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It’s Different This Time, They Swear: Blues at Hawks Preview/Beach Bonfire

By 1093

old_school_blue_l vs. 250px-Ozymandias

PUCK DROP: 7pm Central

TV/RADIO: NBCSN, WGN Radio 720

GOOD GOD DON’T GO THERE: St. Louis Gametime

Blues Stats

Blues War On Ice

The Hawks continue their home tour through what are perceived to be Western Conference powers, wrapping up against the Blues after seeing the Ducks and Kings in consecutive home games. Obviously, the Oilers on Sunday will break that streak (emphasis on “break” HAHAHA OILERS FANS I SUBSIST ON YOUR TEARS!) And just like every other time the Blues come in here for the first time in a season, they tell us it’s different this time. Sure it is Mr. Sherman…. everything stinks….