Everything Else

Your NHL-less Weekend Viewing Guide

I’d like to think this will be the second to last one of these I have to do. But I’d like to think a lot of things. If it isn’t, I probably will be hooking up a hose to my car’s exhaust anyway and there won’t be one next week, so I guess there’s a chance this could be my last one. Anyway, you wanted the best and they didn’t fucking make it, so here’s what you get…


Bulls v. Heat – Of all the stupid things a large swath of Bulls fans think, the idea that you’re somehow a traitor or an idiot for thinking Lebron James is close to must-see TV might just take the cake. While I try and not wade into the argument of whether he’s the best player ever (and I think you could make a pretty convincing argument that he is), I think there’s little argument that he’s the most unique. A man that size, that quick, that flexible, able to guard and play all five positions, it’s astounding. The only other guy who could claim to guard and play all five spots that I can think of is maybe Magic Johnson, and he wasn’t nearly as quick or as explosive at James and certainly not nearly as interested in defending. Even to a basketball-agnostic like me, I find it staggering to watch. Anyway, you should get a decent two quarters here before the Heat are up 40. If they’re interested.

College Hockey – There is plenty of it available if you have DirectTV and the right package, but nothing is going to jump off the page at you. Of course, BC-Minnesota jumped off the page last Sunday and that one ended 8-1. Colorado College at Nebraska-Omaha is on NBCSN, and they both have better teams than you might think at first. And UNO’s jerseys are kickass.

College Baske….. – Oh forget it. I’m not going to even pretend that I can get into this again.


US-Sweden World Junior Gold Medal Game – Early start for this one, but it’s passionate hockey and with a dearth of it these days it’s probably worth running the DVR at least. We’ll even open up a thread for it. The US has gotten better every game, and with Gaudreau, Galchenyuk, Miller, and Vesey starting to fire they’ve even gotten entertaining. This is the Swedes second consecutive final, and they killed off the hosts so there’s got to be something here. Will probably be pretty entertaining.

F.A. Cup – For the soccer uninitiated, the European model (and most South American ones) do not have a playoff system. Everyone plays everyone twice in the league, best record wins. But they have a separate playoff competition, or in England’s case two. But this is the only one anyone really cares about, and it kicks off for real this weekend. It has a certain magic because of little teams from tiny towns sometimes getting their chance to play legendary teams. Imagine if the Hawks had to travel to Swift Current for a meaningful game and what that would mean to the fans there. Y’know, if it wasn’t a bunch of teenagers there. One game is even landing on FOX, and that’s Man United v. West Ham. Single-elimination soccer can be pretty riveting, it may be worth checking out. It’s on Fox Soccer Channel all weekend if you’re interested. Both La Liga and Serie A return from a winter break this weekend as well, if you need your Messi fix. And who doesn’t?

Bengals vs. Texans – With the way the Texans are going, this might not be much of a game. But playoff NFL is usually worth the time.

Vikings v. Packers – Speaking of best of all time, I wouldn’t ever pass up a chance to see Adrian Peterson play, because that’s probably as good as it will ever get. And the meathead in me wants Packers fans who were gloating about a loss eliminating the Bears to reconcile being done after that loss earned them a third dance with Purple Jesus, who has only run for like 700 yards against them in two games already.


Colts v. Ravens – You get the feeling this will be the end of an era for the Ravens, as without Ray Lewis and Ed Reed (who might be right behind Lewis out the door) the defense is just not going to be special any more. It isn’t even really now. And Andrew Luck…well, geez.

Seahawks v. Redskins – I imagine Killion is already drinking for this, if he even stopped from last Sunday night (which he almost certainly hasn’t). Sadly for him, I think this is probably where it all ends for RGIII, as this Seattle defense is no fucking joke and the Aderall twins are back in full strength. And though I still think Russell Wilson doesn’t have much of an arm, he keeps making all the right plays and has the best case for rookie of the year. And it will make Jerry Cantrell happy, and I’m more concerned with his happiness than I am Kills’s. Then again, watching Pete Carroll whoop and strut and grin up and down the sidelines makes me want to stick things in my ear.


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