Football

Nagy and Mitch Suck At Their Jobs, But Ryan Pace May Be Worse Than Both

By Brian Schmitz 1550 0

Here’s some numbers fer ya head:

                       Rush Yards    Yds/Att    TD    Rec    Rec Yds    TD

Player A               443                4.4              5          9            68            1

Player B               366                3.7               3         15           97            0

Player A is one of only three NFL RBs with 3,000+ rushing yards (3,370) since 2016, joining Ezekiel Elliott (4,048) and Todd Gurley (3,441). Howard and Gurley are the only NFL RBs with 9+ rushing TDs in each of the last two seasons.

Ryan Pace thought Player B was the better player and traded Player A for a 6th round draft pick. Moreover, Pace moved up in the draft to select Player B to replace Player A. The cost of doing so was the 87th pick, the 162nd pick, and a 2020 4th round pick.

So, to recap; in its entirety, the swap of Player A for Player B cost the Bears:

  • Player A
  • 2020 6th Round Pick
  • 2020 4th Round Pick
  • 2019 3rd Round Pick
  • 2019 87th Pick
  • 2019 162nd Pick

Player A = Jordan Howard.

Player B = David Montgomery.

Now, don’t get me wrong, David Montgomery is doing a nice job for the Bears as a lead back with a shitty offensive line. He has a very bright future, but the fact is, SO FAR this season, he simply hasn’t been as good as the Eagles Jordan Howard.

But, this really isn’t about Howard or Montgomery. This botched trade (thus far) lies at the feet, yet again, of Ryan Pace. At this point, you have to ask yourself if this job too big for the Bears GM? I think it is. With Pace as the architect, the Bears have a record of 29-34. Over this period, they have had the 2nd, 7th, 8th, 9th, 39th (2), 45th, 51st, 56th, 71st, 72nd, and 73rd picks in the draft. These picks have produced:

  • Mitch Trubisky – Ouch.
  • Kevin White – LOL. Out of football.
  • Roquan Smith – Struggling with something more than just football.
  • Leonard Floyd – Soft. Can’t put up real numbers playing opposite K.Mack.
  • Eddie Goldman – Great rookie year, not much since.
  • James Daniels – Potential.
  • Adam Shaheen – Beat it.
  • Anthony Miller – Well, we’re waiting.
  • Cody Whitehair – Solid starter on a the worst O-Line in football.
  • Hroniss Grasu – Bozo. Out of football.
  • Jonathan Bullard – Nah. Three career sacks
  • David Montgomery – Bell cow of this crew.

As you can clearly see, Pace’s early round selections have produced very little. I am far more impressed with his free agents signings; which means that someone else drafted and cultivated a player, then Pace was there to hijack him – which makes sense as Pace’s main responsibilities in New Orleans were scouting (and changing Mr. Bensen’s diaper and staying the fuck outta Mickey Loomis’ way). It’s also not that difficult to walk into an organization ran by Loomis and Sean Payton and Drew Brees and succeed. See, the Saints are widely known as having the most well-ran organization in football. The Saints have stayed competitive for a long time even when they are always drafting late in the first round.

Which brings us back to the Bears. Most likely, the Bears will not have a pick near the top of the draft in 2020, which is a good thing, as most of Pace’s limited draft successes have come towards the back end of the draft. At no time should the GM should be allowed to draft a QB, WR, TE, or D-Lineman. This is due only to his incompetency in doing so in every previous year. Pace will not be fired, and the team isn’t going to bring in an experienced talent evaluator who has had success in the draft, so what we will continue to see is the same draft results we have since 2015.

Sweet.

Football

Preseason Week 4 Preview – Bears vs Titans: What’re we still doing here?

By Wes French 1291 0

vs

Records: It Matters Not…but CHI 1-2 TEN 1-2

Kickoff: 7 pm

TV: Fox 32

Radio: WBBM 780 AM/105.9 FM

It was a Forward Pass: Musiccitymiracles.com

And so it ends, with a whimper.

The 2019 NFL Preseason finally comes to a close on Thursday. I say finally because the Preseason is now total trash. A lot of guys will play tonight that you’ve never heard of, and probably never will again. Hell, Chicago signed a guy to play running back so as not to hurt players they likely intend to keep on the practice squad. The Bears are slightly ahead of the curve here, but most of the league is now using the bulk of August games to work out the edges of the roster. Guaranteed starters are tasked with doing little more than going through normal game prep and then shedding the pads, if they even put them on, and yucking it up on the sidelines with coaches and their not-as-nearly-good counterparts, players doing all they can to earn a spot on the final roster the league over.

There’s been a lot of smoke in recent years about reducing the preseason to two games and adding two in the regular season. Count me in the camp that would like to see this become reality, albeit with the caveat that teams are given two bye weeks instead of simply adding a game to the already brutal slate. That wouldn’t net billionaire owners that much more money, though, so you can guess how much juice that idea has. Regardless, something’s gotta give in the near future with the preseason structure.

As for this game….well, dear reader, not a whole lot to say that my guy Tony didn’t already say yesterday.

My FFUD Bears compatriot broke down battles at every position for you and gave his best guesses at who’ll make this final 53 at Halas Hall come Saturday afternoon. Hate to say it, but I think his and FFUD Brian’s faves Taquan SMOKE Mizzell and John Franklin III are at best destined for the practice squad. That’s not a bad thing, but even with his special teams experience I just don’t see a scenario where Mizzell makes the cut, especially with Ryan Nall running roughshod his second straight August. JF3 has a slightly better shot in a muddled defensive backfield race, but I think it’s a lack of experience for him that lands him…on the practice squad.

There’s definitely going to be a tight end that wins a job tonight, and my money is on Dax Raymond. Josh Woods is really forcing the Bears hand, playing so well this summer that I don’t think they’ll be able to sneak him to Sunday and the practice squad. This makes it even more difficult to see the team keep any of JF3, Mizzell or Nall if we’re being honest. This team really feels like it’s pretty well set for about 50 or 51 spots, and with the offensive line depth hurting through injury, a few more could even be squeezed to make room for a signing once all cuts are announced.

The Titans just traded for Reggie Gilbert, formerly of Green Bay, and that would normally make one think any EDGE players need to start worrying, but the team was thin at the position due to injury so the pinch felt from this trade will likely be elsewhere. The Titans’ site linked above ponders if the team will look to deal from tackle/O-Line depth to recoup some draft capital, having just five 2020 selections after the deal. Maybe Ryan Pace comes calling for some help if the Bears suffer further losses to the current line.

Deep breaths, Chicago. Green bay in a week. Hell Yes.

Football

Have the Bears Found Their Kicker?

By Wes French 2007 0

And then there was one.

Eddy Piñeiro is the lone kicker remaining from the Bears extensive offseason search to replace ol’ double-doink, Cody Parkey. Steady Eddy won the right to kick sans competition about as much as the recently cut Elliot “J” Fry lost the job, so sure. Congrats.

But the recent damning article by SI’s Kalyn Kahler about the brief history of this unending quest tells us Eddy shouldn’t get too comfortable. When you have NFL folks quoted as saying that Cody Parkey is easily better than anyone they’ve brought in, Piñeiro included, you best watch your back. You can read the article for the rest of the behind the scenes of what any sane person knew was a batshit circus of a competition; it’s worth your time. You’ll also learn that most of this shit show is probably for nothing, since kicking is based solely on in game results, which no one can tell until September 5th.

But I’m not here to rehash the last few months and, assuming this is not at all over, I want to take a look at the new crop of kickers our pal Eddy is now up against: THE LEAGUE.

The Field – Joey Slye: Best of the rest, but at what cost?

True, the Bears already spent some draft capital on the kicker currently on the team, but he hasn’t made one longer than 47 in a fake games and Slye Stallone here has banged in two from 54+, one of which fans at Soldier got to see in person. He’s a perfect 5-5 on FG attempts and 2/2 on XP. Ryan Pace failed to trade for Kaare Vedvik last week, losing to the rival Vikings because they stumped up to an unconditional 5th rounder. Pace might have to go back to the draft well for Slye instead, as there at plenty others, like the Jets and Cowboys, that have far from certainty at the position.

Slye hasn’t exactly shown a proven record outside of this preseason: Slye was undrafted in 2018, then bounced around from the Bucs to the Browns to out of football to the Giants to summer vacation to the Giants again and eventually landing in Carolina, where he was signed to keep a spot warm until Graham Gano was healthy enough to reclaim his job. Slye has a pretty great backstory of battling adversity and working to achieve his NFL goals in the name of his late brother. He’d hardly be difficult to root for, lack of results be damned. And with a nickname like “Swole”, he’s already earned the hearts of meatball fans without pulling on the GHS armband.

Slye can boast that he’s Virginia Tech’s all-time leading scorer, though. And there are those long makes and impressive ability to simply make the kicks in games. You have to wonder how this guy wasn’t one of the billion legs brought in for a look already, but here we are. It might take a late conditional pick, but Slye passes the eye test which is about all that matters in kicking. The Bears can ill afford to wait it out and hope they can sign him at final cuts, but I also think if they were interested Pace has shown he’ll spend to go get his guy.

A few other notables to watch the next two weeks….

  • Matthew Wright is unlikely to boot incumbent Chris Boswell from his job in Pittsburgh, but the 2019 UDFA is 2/2 from over 40 with a pair of XP as well. Plus, kicking in Heinz is as a good a comparable as any outdoor stadium in the league.
  • Tristan Vizcaino is 2/3 on FGA through two games, going 1/2 from 40+ and nailing a 51 yarder. He  probably won’t win the job over Randy Bullock in Cincinnati. If Piñeiro fails to impress further he might get a call from Pace around Labor Day.
  • Veterans Matt Bryant, Mike Nugent and Kai Forbath all remain unsigned as we approach kickoff in week 1. Bryant may well be done at 41 and isn’t likely to push off retirement to kick in Chicago in December. Nugent and Forbath are probably better than the circus from mini camp, but it’d be unlikely the Bears dial any of them up over anyone already kicking the last month-plus.

NFC North Kicker Thunderdome….

  • Sam Ficken and Mason Crosby are having their own battle up in Green Bay, who were also reportedly in on Vedvik. Ficken and Crosby are both 1/1 on FGA (41/43, respectively), so not much to show yet. Both are perfect on XP as well, so the loser here might not have to wait long for new work if it’s more a coin flip situation than one kicks his was out of town.
  • Minnesota made their intentions clear when they sent a 5th round pick to Baltimore for Kaare Vedvik – he’s pretty much assured to be the guy. That leaves veteran Dan Bailey in limbo, a spot he’s familiar with after a surprise cut from his long time job in Dallas ahead of the 2018 campaign. Bailey is also struggling mightily this preseason, a year after going only 21-28 in FGA for the Vikings. Hard pass if I’m Ryan Pace, but who knows with the way this thing has gone so far.

 

 

Football

The Sons Of Wilber Marshall – Preseason Week 2 Roundtable

By Sam Fels 1092 0

That time again. Our Bears wing breaks down whatever they thought was important, and wasn’t, from the Bears’ trip to New Jersey. 

What did we learn in the second preseason game?

Tony Martin: Marvin Hall does not make this team, unfortunately. If Kerrith Whyte Jr can provide 4 phase special teams play, Hall is toast since Whyte can return kicks if Patterson can’t and will have more use in the offense. I was pumped to see what Marvin Hall could bring to the team, but he’s really just mini Taylor Gabriel and with how low-accuracy Trubisky has been on his deep throws, we don’t need two pure burners on the 53.

-James Vaughters looked good, and the backup LB competition is going to be the most fun story these last few weeks of preseason.
-Do the Bears have any serviceable tight ends behind Burton? Is Burton even going to be healthy this year?
-Kyle Long is making me nervous.
Wes French: Matt Nagy is making himself the story, and it might be that he’d stupid like a fox…or John Fox is going to be super excited to rip him when this blows up in his face. 

The head coach’s decision to keep his first unit out of the preseason almost completely is the new narrative for me. Teams have come to treat preseason about the same all around the league for years in the four game format, with starters playing maybe 1-2 series in game one, a quarter or so in game two, a full half+ in the game three “dress rehearsal” and then not at all in the final game. Recent years have seen more discussion about the length of preseason, if it’s necessary, if the risk of injury is worth it as men work to get up to game speed. 
To my knowledge, Nagy and Ryan Pace are the first HC/GM to use the padded practices (also becoming increasingly restricted) mainly on the first units and leave the preseason games to focus on the deeper aspects of the roster. There won’t be any way to tell what effect it has on those units until the season opens for real, but I have to admit I’m a fan of the process so far. More reps against tougher competition for the guys fighting for roles and roster spots will give Nagy and Pace that much more to work with when final cuts come at the end of the month. 
Maybe we’ll get the first teams for a few snaps in the penultimate game, but I say they should just lean into this exercise fully and let anyone currently “on the bubble” start next week. I want to see if Kerrith Whyte can do more than 10 yards on six carries or James Vaughters can repeat that electric performance against a very good Colts offensive line. 
Oh, and just toss Carolina a conditional pick for Joey Slye already. Fry missed his lone FG attempt, Pineiro was 2/2, but it just doesn’t feel like they believe in him. Slye is now 5/5 with two of those from over 54 yards, one of which came at Soldier Field. 
Tony: I like Nagy’s approach, not gonna lie. Keep the starters out of the preseason. Might it affect how quickly they start executing when the season begins? Possibly, but I would gladly trade a slow start in week one for the ensured total health of the starters for this team.
…Aaaaaaaand Fry got waived. Hello Canada!
Wes: Good for him.  What’re your thoughts on trading for Slye? I know they already did that for Pineiro but teams don’t just discard kickers anymore when they’ve got one. I think if there was someone worth signing off the street they’d already be here. 
Brian Schmitz: I am a firm believer that whatever the patriots do is the right thing to do, so in this case, I’m with Wes in thinking that the starters need to get a little burn in the preseason so the live bullets aren’t completely foreign to them when they line up against the pack in less than 3 weeks. 

Pat O’Donnell has had a great preseason thus far. This is important because of the subpar season Pat-O had last year. Punting is a position that is as much about confidence as it is about talent, so for a guy who may have some doubt in his mind coming it to this season, coming out and averaging over 50 per pop is a huge relief for a team that is not very good on special teams at this point. 
Sidenote: John Franklin had one of true great pass break ups these eyes have ever seen…just sayin. 
Tony: People like Slye a lot, and I can see why. Screw it, bring him in. Can’t hurt.
Football

Matt Nagy’s Fixation On Kickers Will Surely Kill Us All

By Sam Fels 1371 0

I know that football coaches are obsessives beyond the point of comprehension. I get that every minute detail of the team is pored over to a degree that a lazy-ass like myself would think comes from another dimension. “Fixation” is a word that most NFL coaches are so far beyond it’s not even worth considering. And most of it is because they just feel the other guy is doing the same, even if it has no actual benefit and it wouldn’t kill anyone if these coaches actually bothered to learn their daughters’ names.

Still, the Bears’ offseason and now training camp being primarily focused on the kicking competition has been…well, there are a few words for it. Strange, annoying, needless, and inflammatory are some that come to mind. To the point where I’m wondering what’s really going on here.

Yeah, I get it. Cody Parkey made this worse by going on whatever national morning show and removing his own rib to show how much missing THAT KICK hurt him but what a big guy he was by moving on from it. That in itself is going to create more attention on the position than normal, whether the Bears booted him into the river or not (I’ll give Parkey this, he did the whole “Point To Jesus” thing after he fucked up as well, which is more than most fuck-you-pious athletes do).

But it’s gone beyond that. We had the “Kicking Cavalcade” in mini-camps, with everyone being forced to make a 43-yarder in front of the whole team. Or Nagy mentioning it while singing the stretch at Wrigley. Or his constant reminders in interviews about how the ending of last season haunts him. Or making the two kickers in camp make 43-yarders, and how the first preseason game contained a field goal of that exact length in the first half. And how symbolic that was.

We’ve been inundated with updates from all the Bears beats every day. Our Sons Of Wilber Marshall have had to address it here. You can’t escape. It’s everywhere.

Fuck right off.

At this point, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a cover. Because somewhere deep down, Matt Nagy knows that game didn’t have to come down to a makable-but-not-chip-shot kick. Somewhere, he knows if he hadn’t spent at least the first half against the Eagles calling plays with one hand around his throat and the other with the thumb somewhere sensitive, maybe the Bears are playing from on top. Maybe he knows that at the biggest drive of the season, his defense let him down and got run over by Nick Goddamn Foles and the wounded ducks he was tossing only in a general direction. He certainly would have to be aware of the former, as it would be the second straight year he spent at least a half of a playoff game making his offense run a three-legged race. If he’s not, that’s certainly a much bigger problem for the Bears moving forward.

I doubt he’s intentionally hanging Ryan Pace out to dry, but that’s certainly a knock-on effect. And while Pace is hardly perfect, he did construct a roster ready to turn Nagy into one of the most successful first-year coaches in history. Perhaps tone it down a notch there, visor?

And this isn’t healthy. What kicker is going to live up to this? Now you’ve whipped the fans into a frenzy, the press into one, and those two just keep feeding into each other. The Bears could gut the Packers in Week 1 34-3 (which they will), but if whatever kicker is chosen misses one field goal, you know what the calls will be about Monday, right?  What at least one article in each of the Trib, Sun-Times, and Athletic will be? It’s now a constant question until the end of the season, and nothing will ever be good enough until Mystery Kicker makes a winning kick in a playoff game.

Except that might not come up. Close games are inevitable in January, but they hinge on a lot of factors. Yes, field goals are directly tied to points in the way that a more adventurous call on second or third down at the 40 is not. Or a missed tackle behind the line that results in a three-yard gain instead. But teams have won the Super Bowl without needing a buzzer-beater. I know, hard to believe, but it’s true.

But still, it’s a kicker. It’s middle relief of football. You find one somewhere, he sticks around for a few years, and then you find another one. Had you heard of Aldrick Rosas before last year? Do you even know who it is now? He’s the Giants kicker and finished second in FG% last season. Mike Badgley? You don’t have any idea, and if you do it’s only because he was on your fantasy team, and he was assuredly your last pick or waiver pick-up.

They just come from somewhere. Even if it’s your team, you don’t really know where. And yeah, it’s noticeable when you pick a bad one, as the Bears did last season. It happens sometimes, but to say that’s the reason the season was torpedoed is missing the whole picture. Me? I’m much more worried about Mitch Betta’ Have My Money’s accuracy.

I don’t want to say it’s untenable. I doubt there’s no kicker anywhere who can’t put everyone’s mind at ease within the season’s first few weeks. But it shouldn’t have to be like this. If it works as a cover for other weaknesses on the team as they get worked out…well, ok. I guess. Seems like it’s a pretty elaborate and heavy-worked smokescreen, though.

 

Football

Bears 2019 Success Is Tied To Mitchell Trubisky

By Wes French 1529 0

The Bears are through a week and a half of practices and we’ve learned that the defense is still incredible, the beat writers LOVE the kicking  competition and no one knows if anything has improved in the play of Mitchell Trubisky.

Mitch and his development sort of flew under the radar this Summer when Cody Parkey‘s GMA appearance and the sideshow kicking competition dominated most of the offseason headlines. Training camp brought our boy Trubs back into the spotlight and all the reports have been more or less the same we’ve seen the last two years, with every great play there is an equal and opposite awful one. Inconsistency is Trubs game.

But he’s practicing against the league’s best defense! Pfft. This is supposed to be the year he takes “the step” forward and develops into the “First Division QB” that takes Chicago from mediocrity to contender for a decade.

So, is that what they’ll get?

Mitch, through no real fault of his own, is a polarizing figure destined to be measured against the two men Ryan Pace chose to pass up. The 2017 QBs taken after Trubs are routinely discussed as better than him; one (Patrick Mahomes) is an MVP already and looks like he’ll be better than most at the position for a decade, while the other (Deshaun Watson) shows brilliant flashes but has already undergone major knee surgery. You can spend literally hours talking about the merits of all three, and it will never goddamned matter. Please don’t do this. They can’t go back and draft Mahomes. Embrace that fact. Mitch is what they’ve got, and what they do to maximize what they’ve got is all that matters.

Now, how to maximize whatever Mitch is. His organization didn’t do him any favors at the start.

Mitch was essentially thrown into a garbage system coached by John Fox and a staff that knew they were all DOA once Pace took over, but were allowed to weekend-at-Bernie’s the 2017 campaign as the McCaskey’s weren’t about to pay another coach to not work for them. Mike Glennon (WOOF) was only able to help drag Fox’s body around for four weeks before the job was heaped on our young Jonathan Silverman. No Andrew McCarthy around to help carry the weight, Mitch just chucked shit up and hoped *checks notes* Dontrelle Inman or any TE/RB might catch something. Seriously, the top ten list of 2017 Bears reception leaders reads like an Iowa fan’s wet dream with FOUR tight ends. No, none of them were over 20 catches. Man, 2017 sucked.

So you have a young Quarterback that started a single year in college, thrust into a system no one cared about with sub-par players no one intended to keep around. This is a failure. Pace seemingly gets a pass for this, as in it’s never discussed, but this was a major misstep and really didn’t even begin true development for Mitch. Off to a great start.

Year two Trubisky was more fun to watch in Matt Nagy’s system but that lack of coaching in year one shown more often than anyone, I’m sure Mitch included, would like to see. He can’t help but constantly heave the ball off his back foot, but his post-snap reads are where you really see the need for improvement and reps in the offense. Mitch also tends to lean on his mobility, for better or worse. He’ll make an escape and hit a receiver or scramble for big yardage; the next play, he bails on the pocket and attempts a throw across his body that becomes an interceptable ball while he’s locked in on one target the whole time.

2018 Trubisky teased some gorgeous throws while missing wide open targets with regularity. He ranked 30th of 35 qualified QBs for depth-adjusted accuracy(sub required, and recommended. It’s $12, cheapass). Mitch was a fairly high 93% accurate on short (line of scrimmage or behind) throws, but on anything beyond that his accuracy starts declining. Sharply. (Per Pre-Snap Reads data):

  • 1-10 yards – 77.6% (24th/86.5%-1st)

  • 11-20 yards – 54.3% (27th/69.9*nice*-1st)

  • 20+ yards – 38.1% (21st/61.5%-1st)

For every pretty ball dropped in-stride to Tarik Cohen on a wheel route down the sideline there were three terrible overthrows of Taylor Gabriel on a corner post or Anthony Miller on a blown coverage in the seam that arguably result in touchdowns. Those throws have to be made. It’s what good QBs do.

From Cian Fahey’s offseason review of Mitch, “He’s a very different type of player to prime Joe Flacco, but that would be the caliber of quarterback you’re working with.”

Exciting! Flacco won a Super Bowl…He also makes a living on gaining large swaths of yardage via P.I. Not ideal.

A late season injury only blurred the lines further on where exactly Mitch is developmentally. The offense appeared almost scaled back for baby boy upon return, but the problem areas remained the same. The issues don’t seem to be about understanding the plays, but the decision making and execution of what Nagy and Co. tee up. The Playoff loss was a microcosm of his season – a perfectly timed and thrown ball into a small window to Robinson helped to set up the double-doink sadness, but only AFTER a terrible read that should’ve been intercepted a handful of plays earlier.

How Nagy works now to change Trubisky’s bad habits will define this era of Bears football. Improving accuracy and reads are mandatory, with defensive regression and kicking headaches guaranteed in 2019. It’ll also go a long way in telling if 2018 was improvement over 2017, or just a system with much better players propping Mitch up and dragging him around with them.

The good plays are great. The misses are egregious. That is what Mitch is right now – inconsistent, and the spectrum is VAST. So-so Mitch got them to Wild Card Weekend. Consistent Mitch makes the Bears a real problem for the NFC.

Football

Bears in Bourbonnais: Boring Ain’t So Bad

By Wes French 1784 0

Do you hear anything? No? Me either. No noise. No torches and pitchforks. No jobs on the line (yet). It’s pretty boring around here.

Usually in late July we’re all too eager here in Chicago to begin HOT TAKE SZN surrounding the Bears and the NFL. This July, though, feels different. Is everyone just happy to banter about the Cubs division chase and Sox future potential? No, we’ve been doing that every July since 2015. The NBA had a pretty big summer, but the Bulls largely sat that out and everyone is just content they MIGHT make a surprise run at the 8-seed in the East. Hawks prospect camp and convention?? OK, I’m done.

So with nothing new or exciting going on in major sports around the city, why is this late July so different? The Bears, coming off their first playoff appearance since 2010 and second in the last 13 years, have had the quietest offseason in about as long. No new head coach/GM/Front Office personnel. No major signings/high draft picks. Hardly any turnover on the roster/staff, and no real starting positions up for the taking. GM Ryan Pace didn’t even get to make a draft pick until the third day, and there’s been little discussion about the his team or the impending camp since.

The biggest offseason story? Kickers. Cody Parkey long fired into the sun, the talk of both mini-camp and now training camp is the kicking sideshow. Each day’s camp breakdown thus far has started with the accuracy for that day’s kicker; Elliot Fry is 17 of 20 so far! He’s hit from 60 and banged in from 48 and 51 in the driving rain! Eddie Pineiro hit from 63 after doing his best 80s macho movie hunk routine – after his coaches asked him to try from 60 he replied “nah, how ’bout 63”! Suh gnarly, broseph.

The crowds are another HOT story coming out of Bourbonnais. Attendance day one? OVER 8,000!!! Videos tweeted of fans LIGHTLY JOGGING to get front row standing room to see the Midway Monsters strap on the pads and paw at each other! Whoa, did you see that 50-yard bomb from Mitch to Gabriel?? Kahlil Mack and Eddie Jackson are sooooo goood OMFG!!!! I mean, it’s great to see the guys you want to excel succeed in practice, but that’s the bar here, no? To be as good as advertised?

This shit is BORING. But boring doesn’t really mean bad. Consider:

-There was one major coaching change in the offseason, but not the normal refrain of a deficiency in some area. Vic Fangio left to go be the head coach in Denver because his defense was so amazing (while the rest of the team was total ass for most of his tenure). The ensuing hire? Chuck Pagano, a highly regarded defensive mind in his own right that mostly just needs to keep the ship on course. There also are no ‘hot’ seats to speak of at the moment. Weird.

-The players lost to free agency were seen as priced out of their worth at Halas Hall and nary a tear was shed for Adrian Amos or Bryce Callahan. The replacements and other new signings were mostly budget buys met with a collective “meh”.  HaHa Clinton-Dix and Buster Skine swap in for Amos and Callahan. Mike Davis and Cordarrelle Patterson are here to do something in the backfield. Great, fine. I bet you didn’t even know they signed Ted Larson, again, for O-Line depth or Marvin Hall and Peter Williams. Only one of those guys is made up, but I’m guessing you have to look it up to tell me which one.

-The draft was pretty uneventful as well, unless you count trading up 14 or so spots in the 3rd round “eventful”. Sure, they got their GUY at running back in David Montgomery, or so they’ll tell anything with ears. Even he hasn’t generated much buzz since the draft, a soft spoken type that just does his work and stays quiet off the field. Booooooring. The rest of the draft was all lottery tickets and undrafted free agents because Pace only had five picks to work with. They got a Ridley? No, not the one from Alabama.

-There aren’t any big injuries to get all worked up about, either. Adam Shaheen hasn’t practiced in two days, but that’s basically his whole bag of tricks since being wildly overdrafted three years ago. Someone named Emmanuel Hall is recovering from groin surgery. HaHa is on the PUP list, rehabbing a lower body injury but expected back before too long. Whatever.

So this late July, the start to camp is boring. Embrace the boring, it means that most of us are looking forward to September and could give a shit about what happens between now and then. We don’t even get another open practice for a few days; the team has a shorter, closed practice today and is off Wednesday. There’s a preseason game a week after that, so maybe by the weekend we’ll start to get some real battles for the edge of the roster. Those are the positions that help to define serious championship contending NFL teams from the dregs they beat up.

Boring kinda sucks, but we’ll take it after the last decade worth of summers overstuffed with tough questions. Wait and see how these jokers fighting for their NFL lives fair in game reps in a week or so. If you need your fix the rest of this first week, keep refreshing that twitter account of your favorite beat writer to see where Steady Eddie P tells coach he’s spotting his next kick. HOOOOO BABYYYYY!

@WFrenchman on Twitter

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Friday Foofaraw: Our Award-Winning, World Famous Bears Roundtable

By 1290

It’s almost that time again, when our Sunday afternoons are turned over to the abyss of watching Bears football. Oh you can pretend you’re above it and you do something else. But this is Chicago, we know the truth. You cannot escape. The abyss also gazes into you . So we get together every fall and preview the Bears season in a way only those who don’t take it seriously and know how pointless it all is can. Enjoy. 

So when training camp started we were wondering why we were even bothering. But after a few weeks, at least the front seven looks decent, there’s a couple fun running backs, and we have QB drama. If you do watch this season, why will you be tuning in?

McClure: Outside of my usual schadenfraude where I like to be acutely aware of just exactly why this entire city is pissed off and emasculated every Monday, there will be another layer of that with waiting to see just how bad Mike Glennon can manage to be while still keeping his job. Obviously once TRUBINSKY gets the starting job that will certainly gain my attention as well.

Cieslak: I still think there’s something in the defense if everyone stays 100% healthy but since that can’t and won’t happen they’ll struggle. Especially in the secondary, which looks awful on paper. I’ll be tuning into Red Zone and keeping one eye on the Bears doings, for the most part. It would be too much masochism for anyone to spend 3+ hours watching only the Bears this season. 

Feather: Because BEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRR WEATHER. The opening week of NFL is always very exciting; every team is filled with optimism, the majority of the games are competitive and big time players make big time plays. Then a week later, everyone is hurt or dead, the Patriots are the only good team and life is meaningless. So yes, I will be tuning in to watch the Beloved for your aforementioned reasons. Their running backs will help them move the ball. Their defense seems to be building towards something, their offensive line is light years better than it was just a couple seasons ago. All of this should make them watchable until Floyd has a knee, Long has an elbow, Whitehair (BYCRACKY) has a head and Howard loses a limb.

Fels: Because I really don’t have much else to do, at least I won’t whenever the Cubs are done. In reality, I like how the front seven is shaping up though I don’t know that any of Goldman, Bullard, Floyd, whoever are going to end up stars or anything more than really good role players. All the running backs will be paste by November. Once Trubisky takes over, that’ll pretty much be the only reason to watch. Also to see how badly they can blow a coverage in the last minute against Rodgers this time.