Everything Else

Race To The Bottom – Kings vs Hawks Preview, Returned Goods Authorization

By 1300

king vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NHL Network, SportsNet Affiliates, WGN-AM 720
Dean’s List: The Royal Half, Jewels From The Crown

The Kings and Blackhawks have one of the modern NHL’s true great rivalries, with the two teams alternating Stanley Cup titles over the last four years. But their competitiveness with one another extends to off the ice issues.

While last year’s Hawks team was clouded by rumors and innuendo of off-ice misdoings, the Kings came right out in the open with it by having both the now departed Jarret Stoll and Mike Richards arrested separately for drug possession. And that’s on top of Slava Voynov being essentially convicted and deported for beating the shit out of his wife. However, in a seemingly unending game of one-upsmanship, the Hawks’ highest profile player made himself the subject of a sexual assault investigation, something the Kings were familiar with three years ago with Drew Doughty. But where the case against Doughty was largely forgotten and evaporated through strongarming the victim, Kane was removed from a video game cover and is still under investigation.

It wasn’t just limited to the players, either. After Dean Lombardi allowed Slava Voynov to skate with the team while suspended because he felt like he needed it, John McDonough basically undid a career of evil public relations genius with a single ass-showing press conference at the haven of progressive sexual politics and scandal-free placidity that is Notre Dame. But these are competitive men who have helmed these teams to near dynastic levels of on ice success, and Dean Lombardi was not going to go quietly into the night. Upon reaching an even more dubious settlement after his evil outright termination of Mike Richards’ contract, Lombardi literally shed tears over how he was duped and how wronged he felt by Mike Richards’ addictive spiral with pain killers, as if the bullshit tough guy culture of the sport didn’t basically strong arm him into using them to keep himself on the ice. Lombardi did not feel wronged or duped by Slava Voynov’s violence towards women however, and still holds’ Voynov’s rights should he ever be allowed in the US again, at the very least preventing him from playing for another team.

Even the fans get into the act as well. Whereas Kings fans initially just spouted typical victim-blaming vomit (serious trigger warning), or in the case of most fan-run outlets just forget in the face of Stanley Cups and Norris finalist campaigns about Drew Doughty’s misdoings, Hawks fans took things to another level. Staging rallies, organizing Twitter hashtags, threatening sports radio anchors to the point of calling out of work, or demanding apologies (that are never, ever, EVER fucking coming), they’ve taken the empty-souled fanboy routine to dizzying new heights.

And now with the first meeting of these two teams happening tonight at the United Center, everyone on both sides is surely breathless with anticipation with what the next step in this rivalry will be.

Everything Else

High On The Hog: Stars Struck

By 1803

The Rockford IceHogs, AHL affiliate of the Chicago Blackhawks, didn’t lose a game to the Texas Stars in the entirety of last season. This weekend, the Hogs dropped a pair to that squad on consecutive days.

IceHogs fans got a real good look at this team. Rockford’s shortcomings were on full display as the Stars, now undefeated in four games, filled up the net.

Oh, and Rockford named a captain this week. And nearly introduced him Saturday night.

Everything Else

Roster A-Go Go

By 1688

When I opened up this post it was going to be Marcus Kruger’s season preview, but then the roster news started spurting out like… well, I’ll just let you fill in your own naughty metaphor there. It’s very cold in my apartment and hence I’m not in the mood.

First it was the news that Marko Dano has been sent down to Rockford. Then right behind it came that Bryan Bickell is on waivers, I’m guessing with the intention of sending him down as well.

So let’s try and parse this out as best we can.

Everything Else

Something In The Way – C.I.’s ’15-’16 Season Preview: Marko Dano

By 1246 0

I think we’ll keep circling through the new forwards as Matt started that trend yesterday. It’s more interesting that way, as basically you know what you’re getting from the holdovers. So now we’ll get to the main prize in the Brandon Saad deal, or what the Hawks will hope becomes the main prize, Marko Dano.

Last Season: 35 games, 8 goals, 13 points, 21 points, +12, 14 PIM, 54.0% Corsi Percentage (+7.4% Relative), 48.9% Corsi Competition

Everything Else

Every Time I Think I See

By 1321 0

As you’re probably aware by now, we spend a lot of time, probably more than anyone else because we’re sicker in the head than just about everyone else, piercing through what the Hawks’ front office is telling us and what we think is actually going on. Some take this to mean we think the front office is full of concrete-headed giblets, but that would be pretty moronic to think when they’re currently making their third banner in six years. But we do like to put our conspiracy theory hats on (without drunkenly yelling anti-semitic feelings at cops, though we do occasionally yell at cops [we have friends in blue]) from time to time. With that in mind, I’ve been thinking about a couple things going on at the moment, and it’s probably mostly because I don’t have anything else to do. Take these with multiple grains of salt (which still isn’t really much salt if you like to try and stop your heart as much as I do with salt). Just things I think.