at 
Game Time: 9:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
Ixnay On The Hombre: Anaheim Calling
Like a buoyant High Life hangover turd in a port-o-john at a summer street festival, the Anaheim Ducks have somehow floated their way to the top of the Pacific Division, and have an opportunity to clinch the division yet again for the fifth straight year should they win in any fashion tonight and San Jose beats the Oilers. What a time to be alive.
As was noted in the preview, Sergei Bobrovsky was never going to allow much tonight, what with his .970 and total of 10 goals allowed for the month coming into tonight. Fortunately Corey Crawford was every bit of Bobrovsky’s equal tonight, while the rest of the team never really had to get out of third gear.
Whenever the Hawks and Canucks get together Canucks fans love to recall when every matchup between these one time rivals meant something. Now it means almost less than nothing, if possible. The Blackhawks are going through the motions at this point, resting whoever they can whenever they can, while somehow inching ever closer to wrapping up the division title as Minnesota farts and burps their way into a first round divisional matchup.
At one point almost everyone who watched the sport would agree that Chicago vs Vancouver produced some of the most aesthetically pleasing hockey of the era. Two highly skilled, fast teams, loaded with depth who absolutely hated each other. Tonight was mostly the direct and absolute opposite of that. This was unwatchable garbage for the first two periods with Vancouver barely able to get the puck to the Hawk net (and when they did it seemed to have a 50/50 shot at going in).
And then the usual shenanigans happened. The Blackhawks did exactly what McClure urged them not to do and waited until the last half of the third period to storm back and steal a point, only to eventually lose in OT despite outshooting the Canucks 398-4. Here’s some crap I noticed.
at 
Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN, CBC, CITY, WGN-AM 720
Jeff Veillette and Steve Glynn Are Terrifying: Pension Plan
Sure, the Hawks have improbably vaulted themselves into basically a game and a half lead in the central as they close out their eastern Canadian swing tonight in the Dark Center Of The Universe that is Toronto, but they haven’t done it the right way. They take on too many shots, even though that’s a result of having leads, they capitalize on power plays, and they do so while paying players more than their entry level contract. All of these things are instantly disqualifiers for actual success, which is truly indicated by how much cap space a team has at the end of the year, thrown into a pivot chart against their possession stats and 5v5 goal differential, along with some other stupid fucking stats Steve Burtch made up in a craven, desperate, and pathetic attempt to get hired. And naturally, the Leafs are succeeding by all of those measures, and all the good stuff is because of Kyle Dubas (who shielded sex criminal players on the junior team he was GM for), and all the bad stuff is because of Lou Lamoriello. This is how Maple Leafs hockey works.
I’ll admit to having been a touch worried about Corey Crawford lately. It was starting to look a bit last year. In both seasons, for the first half of the campaign Crow was asked to perform miracles and paranormal phenomenons to keep the wolves from the door. Last year, under the weight of all that he faded at the end, and was only good in the playoffs which wasn’t good enough. We don’t know yet if this year will see the same fade, but of late he just hasn’t been as good as he was earlier in the year. He’d strung four great starts together, but then there was Detroit–where he admittedly didn’t have any help either. And it’s kind of what we’ve seen from Feb. 1 on.
Today was definitely vintage Crow, which gave his teammates the platform to capitalize on the opportunities they did create. And there’s your difference. The Hawks finished theirs because of their greater top-end firepower. Kane, Panarin, and Hossa on the scoresheet. The Wild didn’t. And this is almost certainly how it will go in May when these two teams see each other again.
Let’s clean it up:
at 
Game Time: 7:00PM CST
TV/Radio: CSN, TVA, WGN-AM 720
A New Name For Everything: Arctic Ice Hockey, Illegal Curve, Jets Nation
As the Hawks stay in the snow blasted prairies of the Midwest, they take their road show to the MTS Center in downtown Winnipeg, where they hope to actually win a game against the Jets this season in their last head-to-head meeting of the regular season.
vs. 
RECORDS: Jets 22-25-4 Hawks 30-15-5
PUCK DROP: 7:30pm Central
TV: CSN
FOR WE’VE GOT NOWHERE TO BE: Arctic Ice Hockey
ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Jets – 49.2 (20th) Hawks – 50.0 (16th)
ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Jets – 50.6 (14th) Hawks – 47.5 (25th)
POWER PLAY %: Jets – 17.7 (17th) Hawks – 17.6 (18th)
PENALTY KILL %: Jets – 76.8 (27th) Hawks – 75.8 (28th)
Interesting position the Hawks find themselves in here. Having won three of four, and with the break right on the heels of this one tonight, you wouldn’t be surprised if they played this one with sunglasses on and Bermuda shorts underneath their pants (I assume this is how Panarin has been playing the last month). On the other, the Hawks are coming off a bad loss on Tuesday, losing in regulation when leading after 40 for the first time since Daley was in charge or some shit (no, not Trevor, moron). Backing that up with an in-division loss would certainly put a small pall (see what I did there?) over the vacation time. But then again, this is still a game in January. So you tell us.
vs
Game Time: 7:30PM CST
TV/Radio: NBCSN, CSN, WGN-AM 720
Over The Falls: Die By The Blade
It wasn’t supposed to be like this for the Sabres, who were supposed to take whatever “THE NEXT STEP” is supposed to be this year. But once again they find themselves in the Eastern Conference cellar, and make their lone visit to the UC tonight.
vs
Game Time: 7:30PM
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Fireman Ed’s Cousin Gord: Illegal Curve
In what was a tradition unlike any other, the Hawks for seemingly eons played a home game on West Madison on Boxing Day, and even during the Stone Ages the building was more packed than usual. The league in its wisdom has opted to extend the holiday break, pushing the return to action to the 27th, and even giving the Hawks a road game or two in recent years on the date. But tonight will be as close to the Boxing Day games of yore as the league will allow, and the Hawks will be welcoming the Jets to the UC once again already.
vs
Game Time: 7:30PM CST
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Semyon Varlamov Is A Fucking Piece of Shit: Mile High Hockey
In what now feels like their third cycle of the last decade, the visiting Colorado Avalanche are rebuilding, this time at least under the tutelage of an actual adult in Jared Bednar. But the more things change, the more things stay the same in Denver, and the Avs find themselves once agian in the league’s basement.
