Steve Gerrard Gerrard! He’ll pass the ball 40 yards! He’s big and he’s fucking hard!  STEVE GERRARD GERRARD!

Yeah, I could have put a picture of a player from a club that has any glimmer of hope of winning the Premier League this season. Or even finishing in the top four. But I didn’t, because I can. And because Steven Gerrard is all that is man (except when he really wants to hear Phil Collins at the nightclub). So there.

And yeah, I don’t have to be writing a soccer post today. But it’s my blog and I’m gonna. Because while some revel in preseason NFL in anticipation of the big kickoff in three weeks, while others just sit around and watch the wheel in the sky keep on turnin’ until October 1st, tomorrow is a big day for a minority of us with the start of the English Premier League.