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Game #73 – Blues vs. Hawks Preview, Green Vomit Cleanup – Dance Of The Doomed


Game Time: 6:30PM CDT
TV/Radio: NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
No Funny Joke, St. Louis Is Just A Piece of Shit Town: SLGT

Currently, the Blues sit three points out of a playoff spot after requiring overtime to beat what’s left of the Rangers at home last night. If the Hawks lose tonight and Dallas beats Winnipeg, they are mathematically eliminated from being in the playoffs. This game is on national television in prime time.

While this season has objectively sucked ass locally, it’s at least still fun to revel in the continued misfortunes of those racist hillrods down south and over the river, whose season would also be over right now were it not for Carter Hutton channeling Ken Dryden. Hutton is currently sporting a .934 overall and a .940 at evens in 30 appearances, 25 of which have been starts. He’ll probably get a crack at a starting gig next year because GM’s are desperate and even in 2018 nobody knows shit about goaltending, so they’ll throw money at a 32 year old having his best season by a country mile and hope they found the next Tim Thomas. They won’t. But Hutton hasn’t played in two weeks due to a neck injury, leaving the reins with Jay Gallon, who simply doesn’t want to take them. Allen’s .906 overall and .918 at evens simply isn’t going to cut it in today’s NHL, but given Hutton’s injury, Given that Allen played yesterday, there is a decent chance that Ville Husso might make his NHL debut tonight, given how dire things are for Mike Yeo, he may come back with Allen.

In front of whomever starts tonight is the same schlock that’s been here for a decade. Alex Pietrangelo continues flattering to deceive the masses that he’s a Norris caliber defenseman, when he’s never put together a consistent season of doing so. Colton Burpo is still Mecha Bieksa, running around like an asshole to create offense and seek out big hits, but somehow continually gets pushed off the puck and put in the blender in the corner by players half his size.

Among the forwards, it probably won’t be long before Vlad Tarasenko demands out of here, as there isn’t a whole hell of a lot going on outside of him. Sure, Brayden Schenn is going to probably have a career high in points and the Blues acquired him for the fetid corpse of Jori Lehtera, but who gives a shit? Schenn is secondary scoring on a good team, not a team’s leading scorer, and that’s why the Blues are on the outside looking in. Jaden Schwartz is a point per game player this year, but he’s only played in 50 games, as is his custom. Alex Steen’s goal totals have decreased every year for the last 5 years, and is currently sitting on 13 goals at $5.75 mildo a year, which is a good way to spend money. This also marks the second straight year that the Blues have been sellers at the deadline, this time moving Paul Stastny to a division rival, and yet still tried to fool people into thinking that they absolutely weren’t selling.

As for the Men of Four Feathers, after yesterday afternoon, they can at least say that they have lost in regulation to every team below them in the standings this year. Bang up job all around.

Let’s get this over with.

Game #73 Preview




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