Sam Fels – Page 148 – Faxes from Uncle Dale

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Game #27 – Hawks vs. Predators Douchebag Du Jour: Yet Another On The Pile

By Sam Fels December 1, 2018 1532 0

You get a lot of people looking the other way on the Nashville Predators, mostly because hockey writers really like to get drunk on Broadway St. and some of them even like country music. Because of that, there’s a piousness among the Preds fanbase, even added to the general piousness of the South, about how their team is built and run.

Make no mistake, the Preds have been as much or more filled with shitbags and fuckheads than any other team. This is a squad that signed Mike Ribeiro to two contracts. It signed Harry Zolnierczyk. It’s one that has Austin Watson. and then used his wife to try and save their ass for employing him. They also have Zac Rinaldo.

While Rinaldo has at least kept his shitbaggery on the ice unlike the others, it’s a whole collection of it. Make no mistake, Rinaldo is a useless turd of a player who has racked up more games in suspensions than goals he’ll ever score. It’s true. He’s only ever been out there to try and intentionally hurt people, and in the dirtiest and cheapest ways possible.

He continues a long tradition of Predators ass-mongers like Jordin Tootoo and Cody McLeod. Somehow the Preds get to skate on having these guys even though the league is doing everything it can to move on from clods like this. What Peter Laviolette wanted with this dungheap when he went to GM David Poile, himself quite the harvester of shit in his career, is anyone’s guess. Lavvy went through this horseshit in Philadelphia with Rinaldo, and must’ve come away impressed somehow.

Especially in a division that doesn’t contain any of this tripe, it’s a real wonder why the Predators think they need this. The Jets aren’t going to beat on them in the playoffs, and if that’s why they think they lost last year they’re already fucked. the Wild aren’t. The Stars aren’t. The Avs aren’t. The Preds seem to be preparing for a fight that’s never coming.

Next time anyone tries to tell you the Preds are on the cutting edge of the NHL, you just remember all of this.

Game #27 Preview Suite

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Game #27 – Hawks vs. Predators: I Make A Lot Of Graphs

By Sam Fels December 1, 2018 1305 0

Game #27 Preview Suite

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Game #27 – Hawks vs. Predators: Lineups & How Teams Were Built

By Sam Fels December 1, 2018 1395 0

Game #27 Preview Suite

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Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – November 29th

By Sam Fels November 29, 2018 1032 0

First Screen Viewing

Sabres vs. Lightning – 6:30

Thanks to not losing in three weeks, the Sabres have overtaken the Bolts for first in the Atlantic. I know, it’s weird. It probably won’t last, because they keep winning by one goal. They also have four wins in overtime. But hey, might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Anyway, they passed one test earlier in the week by sliding past the Sharks. Now comes another one, heading to Tampa to take on the division’s landmark. Now that there’s snow on the ground, hockey season really has begun, so this is on occasion worth seeing.

Second Screen Viewing

Wild vs. Blue Jackets – 6pm

Because someone has to, the Jackets are near the top of the Metro once again, one point behind the Caps. I don’t know that they’re any good, but junk sometimes floats to the top when surrounded by other junk. Same goes for the Wild, who are doing the Bruce Boudreau thing of collecting regular season points for no particular reason you’ll be able to identify come Tax Day. I guess I have to give up this fight. The Wild will have 103 points when the season ends whether I like it or not.

Other Games

Islanders vs. Bruins – 6pm

Rangers vs. Senators – 6:30

Coyotes vs. Predators – 7pm

Kings vs. Oilers – 8pm

Knights vs. Canucks – 9pm

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Game #26 – Hawks vs. Jets Spotlight: Patrik Laine Is In Your Ears And In Your Eyes

By Sam Fels November 29, 2018 1632 0

He might look like something out of a Tolkein novel or a B-movie, but Patrik Laine has the chance to be something we’ve never seen before. And no, we don’t mean those dust bunnies he calls a beard or that vacant, kid-wh0-farted-in-the-pool look on his face all the time (that seems to be common among the Finnish. What goes on over there?). To be fair, Laine might be the freakiest looking all-time great when it’s all said and done. Then again, Alex Ovechkin looks like something out of Warhol’s discard pile. But let’s stick with his goal-scoring for now.

Since he came into the league two season ago, Laine has 99 goals. He’s only bested by Ovechkin’s 100 in that time, and there’s no one else within 10 goals of either of them. Laine has also missed 10 games in that time, so without that he’d be the leading scorer in the league since he stepped in it. And the way he’s going, he’ll probably have that title by the time tonight’s game is over.

The difference between Laine and Ovie is how they go about it, though it feels like they do it the same. Both like to post up at the “Ovechkin Spot,” which one day could be renamed for Laine. But that doesn’t quite cover it. Ovechkin does it through sheer volume. He’s had seasons where’s he’s averaged five shots-on-goal per game, and usually is around four per game. For his career it’s 4.85 shots per game. There’s no one in his stratosphere when it comes to producing attempts on net.

Laine isn’t near that. He’s averaged just 3.02 shots per game. Laine gets there through accuracy. Ovechkin’s career shooting-percentage is 12.5%, and until this season (he’s currently at 20%), Ovie has never come close to Laine’s lowest SH%. Laine has carried a career 18.4 SH%. In the past 20 seasons, when you can just about label as the time goalies no longer were the drunk janitors they had been before, Laine’s career SH% ranks behind only Alex Tanguay and Dmitri Khristich (somehow).

Laine will probably overtake them. His shooting-percentage has improved every season, from 17.6 to 18.3 last year to 20.2 right now. Laine, even if he just holds where he is, will go down as the game’s most accurate shooter in history. Yes, Mike Bossy had a career 21.2% mark, and Laine may get there, but Bossy never had to take down the talent in net that Laine sees every night. Again, the inebriated custodial staff in net in the 80s across the league. Laine and Ovechkin would have put up 150 goals a year in that time…and then taken March off out of sheer boredom.

Which may turn into a headache for the Jets, depending on just how firm Laine and his reps are about getting a contract that’s fair to him. The Jets are inundated with free agents after the season. Brandon Tanev, Andrew Copp, Kyle Connor, Nic Petan, and Jacob Trouba all require new paper when the season is over. The Jets already have $56 million committed for next season. Laine’s agents would have no problem asking for McDavid money, and they’d be right to do so.

When Ovechkin got out of his first contract, the Capitals handed him a max deal. In today’s $, that’s $12.7M. Which would eat up half the space the Jets have to sign the rest of that crew.

There’s no reason for Laine to give the Jets a break, unless he’s just that nice of a guy. Because he’s got a chance to be something unique in league history. That’s not the kind of shit you get at a bargain.

Game #26 Preview Suite

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Game #26 – Hawks vs. Jets Q&A: Happy Cara T (She’s Not THAT Happy)

By Sam Fels November 29, 2018 1553 0

We mean, she could be. We’re not exactly sure. But no hockey fan ever is. Anyway, follow her @HappyCaraT.

The Jets sit at 28 points, fourth in the division at the time of writing but only two points off second, and which is a 104-point place. And yet it doesn’t feel like the Jets have truly fired yet. Is that a misconception? What’s been holding them back from a real nuclear run if not?

I recently saw a stat in 31 Thoughts about the Jets and the problem with them is they are not beating teams higher than them in the standings. They can beat up on the Ottawa Senators of the league, but struggle against the Nashville Predators. And their defence is a problem, but I will expand on that later.

Blake Wheeler only has four goals but 23 assists. When did he become Adam Oates?

Wheeler seems to be struggling this year; although I have not looked at his 5v5 stats lately. He is wonderful, but he has looked hurt to start the year and he also has struggled to push the play offensively. However, he is money on the power play with Patrik Laine and that is wonderful unto itself.

What is Jacob Trouba? We’ve always been fans but his playoffs last year were not impressive and the metrics aren’t always kind to him. Is Josh Morrissey the real keeper on the top pair?

I think Morrissey is the better player, but I have a lot of questions around Trouba in general. He was wonderful for a while, but I wonder if something is up there. I have not looked much into the top three defensemen on the Jets as the other three are of greater concern, but I wonder if it has to do with trying to do too much. That pairing gets taxed with a lot.

What’s up with Connor Hellebuyck’s struggles?

Ah Connor Hellebuyck. He plays behind Joe Morrow and Tyler Myers regularly. The Jets defence is seriously missing a third pair and even a number four defenseman. I think this affects Hellebuyck a lot as the defence is very scrammbly. They were not much better at the start of last year, but with the loss of Toby Enstrom to Sweden, the Jets are in a hard place on defence and it is showing with his results. That says, he also seems less set than last year. I dunno. I don’t get the Jets.

Game #26 Preview Suite

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Game #26 – Hawks vs. Jets Douchebag Du Jour: The Jets Do It To Themselves, Just Them…

By Sam Fels November 29, 2018 1499 0

There was a point last season where it seemed like the Jets had learned. With all their talent, and all their speed, they didn’t need to “assert” themselves every night with idiocy and dick-measuring. It helped lead to their best season, and within some rotten luck of the Stanley Cup Final. The Jets finished 16th in penalty minutes per game last year. That had broken a streak of three seasons under head coach Paul Maurice where the Jets had finished no lower than 6th in penalty minutes per game. They were playing the wrong games at the wrong times. They seemed to have figured that out.

Not so this year. The Jets lead the league in penalty minutes per game, and nine players have racked up 20 minutes or more so far. They’ve racked up five game -misconducts this year, tied for the lead with Vancouver. They’re second in majors.

Jacob Trouba, Dustin Byfuglien, and Tyler Myers are the ones who seem to be most unable to get out of their own way, as their penalty-difference are worst on the team. They’re -7, -6. -6 respectively.

It would be infuriating to be a fan of the Jets and see them not want to remain at even-strength as much as they could. While they’re not the even-strength power they were last year, they’re among the bottom teams in drawing penalties and power play time. When you have Patrik Laine, you’d think you’d want to be setting him up in “the post” as often as damn possible on the man-advantage.

You could see this being a problem for the Jets down the road, where they’ll have to negotiate the Predators and possibly Sharks back-to-back, though the Predators aren’t clicking on the power play at the moment. You know what the Sharks man-advantage can do.

The Jets defense is not going to be ever be dominant. Trouba has regressed a touch, Byfuglien has only a tangental relationship with his own end. Tyler Myers just straight sucks. But it doesn’t have to be stupid. If it is, it’ll cost them just about everything.

Game #26 Preview Suite