Everything Else

Ask Us Anything – Answers (Pt. 1)

I’ll answer as many of these as I can before I pass out. Pick up where I left off tomorrow. Let’s kick this pig, Captain Dodge! Leave her squealin’ from the feelin’!

This may be a toughie: All time favorite bar in Chicago?
…and maybe a little less tough: All time LEAST favorite bar in Chicago. -fromheretoinfirmay

That is a toughie. I live at the Huttenbar here in Lincoln Square, but that’s too easy. Jake’s in Lincoln Park used to be a blast, but isn’t quite the same these days. Map Room during the week is a good time, but not on weekends. Let’s go with the Long Room, only because the guys who own it are the balls.

Worst? Barleycorn. It might not even be close.

Is it premature to be excited about Teuvo Teravainen? I have not seen much video evidence but certain quotes (example being some dude saying he was the best since Kane at the USA Hockey National Junior Evaluation Camp) are ramping up expectations. -OMFS88

You know what? I’m going to go ahead and say it’s not too early, as long as it’s measured against him being only a prospect. But from the time Stan could barely contain his giddiness that Teuvo slipped to him, there’s been something about this kid. He’s obviously supremely skilled, but I worry about his size at center. And then you’d have two really small, creative wingers. But if Teuvo is as shifty as he’s hinting he may be, what’s wrong with having two Magic Johnson’s on ice?

Who are some of your favorite Stand-up comedians? -DaveM36

You mean other than myself? I guess I can’t say that, it’s been almost three years since I’ve done a set. McClure and I follow the same path. George Carlin is an idol of mine. Read this or the publication for any amount of time and you’ll see my Eddie Izzard fascination bleed through. I’ve seen him three times. I love Louie C.K. like everyone else, and it’s good to see one guy who’s not afraid to be a feminist make it huge (Carlin was another). A personal friend of mine who’s just about to break it huge is Hannibal Burress. Hilarious motherfucker, and a genuinely good guy too. Though he makes me a little depressed as we started out together about the same time. He’s going to be selling out arenas, I’m talking to you dipshits (kidding, kinda).

What’s your favorite piece at the Art Institute (either permanent or temporary)? -Virtel

Monet’s London series.

Who is the Blackhawks goalie in 14-15?

Tell your Blackhawk fandom origin story. (how you became a fan of the sport and organization) – Stone Cutter

I’ll take them in order. I think Crow is still around but only if he’s a reasonable price. Would not shock me to see either Raanta or Carruth here though.

As for how I became this thing, blame my brother The Ombudsman. He was a huge fan, played hockey, thought hockey, talked hockey, it’s all he ever cared about when I was little. And because I wanted to be everything he was back then, I hooked on. God I was a stupid kid. But anyway, he pretty much raised me in the standing room at The Old Stadium, and now I’m warped.

you get 30 minutes of question time and their answers must be truthful, you can pick Stan, Q or Rocky. Who you want? Z-Man 19

Well I think I’d like to drink with Q. But if they have to answer me, then Stan. Love to hear what he really thinks of the coach, where he slots the new metric stats and stuff, how he scouts talent and all that.

Christina Hendricks or Chrissy Teigen? -FleshRifle

Christina Handricks. I think most people know I have a redhead thing.

Do you think that an objective consideration of contemporary phenomena compels the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account? -Corbant

If the unpredictable weren’t a part of it, wouldn’t like be utterly boring?

Which NHL team and/or fanbase would you most like to see fall short of the playoffs next spring? – Paul the Fossil

The answer is always St. Louis. In everything.

Relocation or Expansion? – Hags

Relocation. The talent is spread too thin as is, and this Phoenix thing isn’t going to work. I’m not sure the Panthers are a rock either.

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a drive way?
Where are areas 1 through 50?
Why does my wife have to wear a PAIR of panties but only one bra? – Sparky the Barbarian

1. Well, we drive on the right unlike the British because of the French revolution, so that’s always a go-to answer.

2. The 50 states.

3. Technically, she doesn’t have to wear any of it.

What one song would you like to hear for a goal song instead of Chelsea Dagger? Or would you keep it the same?

Nick Leddy for Cam Barker?

Of the 4 teams new to the Hawks division (Minn, Dallas, Winn, and Colorado), who do you see being the biggest rival early on? – ExOnMS

1. At this point, I would keep it, just because it annoys so many other fanbases so much. If I had to pick another….March of the Pigs? I’ve got NIN on the brain though. 3’s and 7’s would be good, but I also have QOTSA on the brain. Of course, me being me I just want it to be Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.

2. It’s still so funny.

3. Winnipeg has all that ex-Hawk thing, Minnesota already has that anti-Chicago thing in baseball and football, and Colorado has been just a pain in the ass for three years. It’s hard to pick one.

Ok, that’s enough for today. Feel free to add more in these comments as well.



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