Hockey

Game #21 – Hurricanes vs. Hawks: Hedley Lamarr’s Nitwits, Halfwits, And Dimwits

By Sam Fels November 19, 2019 0

Joel Edmundson – For the rest of his career, he’ll have that Stanley Cup sheen that blinds every GM and commentator to the fact that he sucks and is stupid. Edmundson has always been a rock that Blues fans worshipped because he hit Toews once, and he only fits in Carolina because they have so many […]

Hockey

It’s Probably Time For Pat Foley To Go

By Sam Fels October 1, 2019 0

Let me contrast two organizations in this town. A month or so ago, a brilliantly researched and written piece about the Bears’ throwback jerseys by Jack Silverstein at Windy City Grid Iron pointed out the problems with said jerseys. That would be that they came from a time when black players were banned from the […]

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Game #47 – Golden Knights vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: The Dumpster Is Still Open

By Sam Fels January 12, 2019 0

We’ll never be rid of Ryan Reaves. At this point in our lives, we’ve come to terms with doofuses and ignorami like Reaves being part of the league. They’re slowly fading, and maybe we’ll live to see their extinction, but we won’t bank on that. What we can’t stomach is the ways in which they’re […]

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Game #32 – Hawks vs. Jets Douchebag Du Jour: Hey Did You Know Olczyk Was Traded To Winnipeg While His Wife Was Giving Birth?

By Sam Fels December 11, 2018 0

Because if you didn’t, you soon will! Every Hawks trip to Manitoba is now guaranteed to come with Eddie Olczyk reminiscing about playing with the Jets, or more to the point trying to inflate what he meant to the Jets. If you thought it wasn’t bad enough that Olczyk did his best to co-opt the […]

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Game #16 – Hawks 0, Flyera 4: All Seven And We’ll Watch Them Fall

By Sam Fels November 10, 2018 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Corsica At least the Colliton Era already has a familiar pattern. Once again, the Hawks were the better team in the first period. They had the better chances, they looked faster and more creative than they have for most of the season, and yet they couldn’t solve a goalie who […]

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Game #11 – Hawks vs. Blues Douchebag Du Jour: Another Night Of Fellating Ryan O’Reilly’s Faceoffs

By Sam Fels October 27, 2018 0

One of the many problems with cramming in this many games with one opponent in such a short amount of time is that we already know the narratives that will be belched out during the broadcast. Along with Eddie Olczyk’s newfound passion for slamming analytics or possession-numbers (he seriously must not have got a job […]

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Bury My Heart At Michal Kempny

By Sam Fels May 24, 2018 0

It’s something of a spring tradition, at least it is when your team doesn’t go anywhere or misses the dance altogether. There’s always a player or two or six who make it to the Final and some of those even win it (funny how that works). And you sit there and curse the brainpower of […]

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Game #75 – I’ll probably die anonymous – Hawks 2, Canucks 5

By Adam Hess March 22, 2018 0

Box Score Hockey Stats Natural Stat Trick This one was a real shit show, and that all started this afternoon before the game even started. I have some questions. Let’s get right to the bullets: – So let’s get to the one that I think is the most glaring: what the heck was this lineup? […]

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Pat Foley, Please Do Your Job

By Sam Fels March 19, 2018 0

Being a Hawks fan this season hasn’t been pleasurable. We all know that. Even the most cynical amongst us before the season never saw this coming, though there was no way to see that Corey Crawford would miss over half of it. No matter how well the Hawks play for the past couple months, they’re […]

Everything Else

Just Tell Us

By Sam Fels January 8, 2018 0

Been stewing over this one since Friday night. It’s no secret that we are not huge fans of Eddie Olczyk’s analysis work here at the FFUD labs. While I’m tempted to give him a break this season due to his current health struggles and stop-start schedule, this particularly angle is one that demonstrates not just […]